Chances To Be Given
Chapter 5
Rated: PG13 or something like that.
Darien woke up with a sudden start. He groaned and shook his head as he heard a loud "Thump" coming from the halls. He ignored it, assuming that it was probably one of the young man or lady that lived down the hall coming in from a party. Instead, he paid attention to the hand he held in his and the lying form of a familiar being. He looked up at her face and studied it. How long had it been since he saw her? How long had been since he heard her voice? Her laugh? Seen her smile? How long?
"A long time," he answered. Except maybe the brief encounter they had had at the Arcade. "Oh, Serena…I missed you," he whispered softly. He saw a frown form on her forehead. He saw her lips curl up. He was afraid that even in her dreams, that bastard of a husband of hers was still torturing her.
"WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU!! I KNOW YOU'RE OUT HERE!!"
Darien frowned. He looked at the VCR under his television and saw the time.
'Who in the hell would be screaming their lungs out at 2 in the morning?'
He got up after pulling the covers higher over Serena. He walked over to his door and opened it slowly.
"HEY! Some of us are trying to sleep!?" He said with an edge.
"Go to hell!" His frown deepened, but not because the man had told him to go to hell, but because he knew this man. He knew him…but from where?
"Look buddy, whatever your problem is, I'm sure it can wait until tomorrow." Darien knew it probably couldn't, be he hadn't expected the man to break down and cry! Which was what the man did. He collapsed against the wall and held his head in between his hands, crying like it was the end of the world.
'What in the world?' Darien was confused…what had just happened here? He didn't know, but feeling a tad bit bad, he sighed and walked out of his apartment, making sure to quietly close the door behind him. He slid down beside the man who was obviously pained about something. Tears ran down his face. His hair was disheveled all over his head. Bloodstains were on his lips and a sob came out of him every minute.
"Hey, look, is there anything I could do for you?" Darien asked his heart going out to this stranger, obviously heart broken.
"She left me! After all I did for her! After all I gave her! She left me!" The man's voice was angry but still very sad at the same time.
"I know how that feels like," dark eyes darted up to finally look properly at this stranger who had come to give him a shoulder to cry on.
"You do?"
"Yes. The girl…no, the woman of my life, my soul mate. I know that's who she was. She left me a long time ago, maybe it wasn't entirely her fault, and in fact it was probably mine. I was so stupid and she married another man. I still love her…no matter what, but it pained me to see her go, to see her kiss that…that bastard!" Darien said it quietly. He had no idea why he was sharing this to this…this familiar stranger…?
"Well, I hope my wife dies! She deserves it." Darien raised his eyebrows. He was utterly in disbelief. One minute ago this man was crying his heart out, wanting his wife back and then…now he wants her dead?
"If you love her, you wouldn't say that." Darien knew to say and once again the man broke down crying.
"If she loved me, she wouldn't have made me…made me like this."
"Look, maybe she'll come back," He became uncomfortable. The woman must've had good reason to leave, just like Serena had a good reason to leave him.
"Never, I really done it this time…I know it…but I didn't mean it, I really didn't."
"What…?" Darien was confused. The strange man looked at his hands. He was in a trance, talking to himself…
"I didn't mean to hurt her. I only wanted her to…to show her love for me. I only wanted her to make me happy. I didn't mean to…to hurt her." Darien looked at the man in disbelief. He knew these things happened, but he never knew anyone who had…well, he hadn't…until Serena.
"Hurt her…?" he asked. That familiar feeling still clung at the back of his mind.
"All I ever wanted was…everything she could give me."
"What…what do you mean hurt her?" Darien still wondered…thinking…wondering…
"Why couldn't she understand?"
"Who are you?" The man shook out of his ranting and came back to reality.
"Alec…Alec…" but before he could tell Darien his full name, a fist collided with his face.
"What the f…" Darien punched, again and again and still again. Anger and hatred replaced that of pity. That of uncontrollable want of revenge replaced his control. But almost at once, although not quick enough, his mind told him to stop. He stared down at the face of Serena's husband.
"I should kill you for what you did," he said. The man looked at him with horror.
"I'm sorry…I'm so sorry…" he kept saying. He had no idea who this person was…but he was scared.
Darien finally gained full control. He stood up and climbed off Alec and was about to kick him one more time when his mind caught him again.
"If you don't stay away from her, I swear, next time I see you with her, I'll kill you! Do you understand?!"
Blood dripped from Alec's nose. His eyes bulged with bruises. His mouth bled with broken teeth. He nodded, taking everything this man said as a serious threat he shouldn't ignore.
Darien pivoted and took a deep breath. Quietly, he went back inside, locking the door behind him. He felt no fear or regret for what he had just done. He only felt even angrier that he had been feeling badly for the one who had almost…his eyes darted to the couch.
"Serena?" his mind panicked. "Serena!!" The couch lay empty. The room lay deserted.
'God, where is she?" he ran inside and was about to panic even more when he saw a shadow move on the wall. He closed his eyes and pushed back the tear trying to escape. He breathed in again and pursued to the balcony.
(Serena's POV)
I didn't know where I was. Opening my eyes I thought I would see God or Satan. I thought I was dead. Instead I found myself staring at a blank ceiling, warm and feeling not much better, but still warm. My hand darted up to my face and instead of feeling blood I only felt stitches. Fear took hold of me for a few moments. My imagination ran wild and I stiffened. What if Alec had come after me and brought me back? No…he couldn't…I turned my head and looked around. I breathed. I wasn't home…er at Alec's. I was somewhere else. The room was like ours…except it was neater and simpler. A red rose was hanging just above the television. I was surprised it didn't look frail at all or…dying. It looked so healthy…but then again maybe it wasn't real.
I forced myself to sit up. I could hear something outside, but I didn't want to intrude on anything. Quietly I got up. Whoever had helped me was probably sleeping. I wouldn't want to disturb them. I wrapped the blanket around me and stepped outside in the cold, black night.
"How cruel you are to me, world," I said. "Why?"
I didn't want to cry again…"No more," I thought…Instead I hugged the blankets closer around me.
"Serena…?" The sudden intake of breath was painful. My heart throbbed faster. Could it be Alec? No…it couldn't be. I didn't dare turn around to look.
"You should sleep more, after what you've been through." I realized then that the tears had begun their rampage again.
"I'm…fine…" I said through broken voice.
"No you're not," I wasn't thinking right, all I could think about was…that this couldn't be Alec. All I had to do was turn around to find out who this was. But, why was it so hard to achieve?
"I'm not Alec, Meatball Head."
"What…?" In a sudden move, I faced him. And relief passed throughout my body…yet still, a different kind of fear replaced that. "Darien…?" He smiled at me and took a step towards me. My feet were glued to the floor.
(Third person)
"Hey," Darien said taking another step.
"Hi," Serena looked away and stepped back. Darien understood. He brought a chair from the side to her and asked her to sit. Taking another chair he sat across from her just a few steps apart. Both of them stared up at the sky.
"It's a beautiful night, ne?"
"Yes, it is." Silence came next. The stars watched them both as they sat there, leaning back, trying to comprehend what each was thinking of. The streets under them were empty and the still night-air left them alone.
"Thanks," Serena whispered.
"Any time," She brushed away the tears that hadn't stopped flowing. Then taking another big step, she looked at Darien, who by this time had been staring at her. They're eyes met and talked quietly for a few seconds, trying to understand each emotion that passed in and out of sight.
"Whom were you talking to?"
"Huh?"
"I heard uh…I heard you outside, I think…" Darien's face grew cold and protective.
"Nobody…it's 2 in the morning, who would I be talking to?"
"I…I just thought that…" Serena backed off. Her eyes roamed to the other side of Darien, where darkness only occupied the apartment next door. She frowned…and she suddenly knew. Familiarity turned to knowledge, and a few nights back, she knew whom she had heard gossiping.
"You were talking to Alec?" She waited for his answer but heard none. She only saw him turn away to look straight ahead.
"Serena…you're not going back to him are you?" She sighed and gazed back up at the stars. For a moment Darien thought that she would not answer, but then he heard her.
"Why not? He's my husband," She said quietly and unsure.
"For God's sake! If he was your…" he started to shout at her, but angry as he was, he knew he shouldn't be yelling at her. "If he was your husband, Serena…why would he do this to you?" he said more softly.
"He was only angry, Darien…I didn't understand him…you know how I am."
"No, I don't," Serena's face grew cold.
"I'm annoying, that's what I am," he didn't understand her. He looked at her with disbelief. How could she be defending the man who…who almost…killed her?
"I don't understand, you can be annoying, Serena…but you don't deserve to die because of it,"
"I don't want to talk about it!" Serena said with force and fear.
"No. If we don't talk about it now, we're never going to. And tomorrow, you'll go back to him and accept his stupid apology! God, Serena, why, explain to me why? Make me understand why you would possibly even consider going back to that bastard!" Serena didn't know what to say. Why did Darien show so much concern for her? After all these years?
"I don't have to explain anything, Darien."
"You owe me," Serena gazed at him darkly. He knew that she knew that she didn't owe him anything.
"For what?! I didn't ask you to save me…I didn't ask you to make me feel better. How in the world…"
"Just tell me, tell me one good reason that you would go back to him?" Serena grew quiet. Knowing Darien's persistence and anger, she knew that there was no use of resisting.
"He's a great man, Darien, he's my husband. And no matter what he…he does, I vowed to be with him through the worse. You don't know him like I do. I mean, maybe sometimes he scares me. Maybe sometimes he disgusts me. But he is still my husband, and that's reason enough."
"These days, Serena…vows are never thought to be a permanent thing."
"Maybe not to them…but to me. He was right…he did save me," she paused there and focused her eyes on her hands before continuing. "I was so alone…and then he comes and takes me away from everything. And for a while we were happy, he made me laugh, he made me forget. For a while he gave me paradise. And I owe him for that."
"You don't owe him shit,"
"Stop it! You don't understand…" Tears began to well up in her eyes again. Darien didn't back down.
"How can I? Here he is, practically bled you to death and you're saying to me that…you're going back to him?"
'Why, Serena?' Darien could only wonder. Serena kept silent for a few moments. Was she trying to come up with her answer? Darien looked at her with his dark eyes. He studied her again. Where did his confident and happy Meatball Head go? Why did she look so frail, so fragile, so scared? Why didn't she fight back like she always did? Was it his fault?
"Everyone deserves a second chance," she whispered, disturbing his trail of thoughts. He blinked.
"Is this what this is, his second chance? How many times has he done this, Serena? How many?" He stared at her and leaned over. Taking her face in his hands, he knew that she would not be able to lie to him this way or hide her eyes when she did. She closed her eyes and a tear fell away.
"Everyone deserves a chance. You can't waste chances when you have so many to give."
"You're giving him a chance to make up…but why not give yourself a chance to be happy?"
"Darien…" she could not go on. His face softened at the sight of her and without another thought, he gathered her around him, bringing her to his lap. He rocked her back and forth, maybe asking for forgiveness for being so…so mean.
"Why don't you want to be happy?" Serena didn't know. And because of that, she let herself let go. In her tears, she let go of her loneliness of her fear. In her tears, she let go of bad memories and of regrets. In her tears, she let go of everything.
Perhaps an hour or two passed before they moved. Darien's heart was breaking with Serena's, and even though she didn't know that, he didn't want her to. She had already been through a lot that anymore burden would probably make her crazy.
"Come on, sleep?" She nodded and gave him a weak smile. He saw then, the signs of bruises everywhere on her body. His heart broke even more. He carried her, making sure that he wasn't squeezing her too hard. He brought her to his room and laid her softly down.
"I'll sleep on the couch,"
"Don't, Darien. Don't leave me tonight, not right now…onegai?" Serena pleaded, fearing if he left, she would wake up. He nodded and crawled in with her. She pressed close to him and fell quickly to dream.
Darien cried, for her and for him. He wondered then, how could one small little secret, ruin both of their lives? His regret was proven to be true. If he hadn't been so insecure, if he hadn't been so stupid, if he only trusted her to be an adult about him kissing Raye…if only. He squeezed his eyes shut, letting the tears fall. He caressed her hair, knowing maybe he could do something to help her life get better. He wouldn't let her go back to that bastard, no, he couldn't!
--
okay, that's it 4 now.
Chapter 5
Rated: PG13 or something like that.
Darien woke up with a sudden start. He groaned and shook his head as he heard a loud "Thump" coming from the halls. He ignored it, assuming that it was probably one of the young man or lady that lived down the hall coming in from a party. Instead, he paid attention to the hand he held in his and the lying form of a familiar being. He looked up at her face and studied it. How long had it been since he saw her? How long had been since he heard her voice? Her laugh? Seen her smile? How long?
"A long time," he answered. Except maybe the brief encounter they had had at the Arcade. "Oh, Serena…I missed you," he whispered softly. He saw a frown form on her forehead. He saw her lips curl up. He was afraid that even in her dreams, that bastard of a husband of hers was still torturing her.
"WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU!! I KNOW YOU'RE OUT HERE!!"
Darien frowned. He looked at the VCR under his television and saw the time.
'Who in the hell would be screaming their lungs out at 2 in the morning?'
He got up after pulling the covers higher over Serena. He walked over to his door and opened it slowly.
"HEY! Some of us are trying to sleep!?" He said with an edge.
"Go to hell!" His frown deepened, but not because the man had told him to go to hell, but because he knew this man. He knew him…but from where?
"Look buddy, whatever your problem is, I'm sure it can wait until tomorrow." Darien knew it probably couldn't, be he hadn't expected the man to break down and cry! Which was what the man did. He collapsed against the wall and held his head in between his hands, crying like it was the end of the world.
'What in the world?' Darien was confused…what had just happened here? He didn't know, but feeling a tad bit bad, he sighed and walked out of his apartment, making sure to quietly close the door behind him. He slid down beside the man who was obviously pained about something. Tears ran down his face. His hair was disheveled all over his head. Bloodstains were on his lips and a sob came out of him every minute.
"Hey, look, is there anything I could do for you?" Darien asked his heart going out to this stranger, obviously heart broken.
"She left me! After all I did for her! After all I gave her! She left me!" The man's voice was angry but still very sad at the same time.
"I know how that feels like," dark eyes darted up to finally look properly at this stranger who had come to give him a shoulder to cry on.
"You do?"
"Yes. The girl…no, the woman of my life, my soul mate. I know that's who she was. She left me a long time ago, maybe it wasn't entirely her fault, and in fact it was probably mine. I was so stupid and she married another man. I still love her…no matter what, but it pained me to see her go, to see her kiss that…that bastard!" Darien said it quietly. He had no idea why he was sharing this to this…this familiar stranger…?
"Well, I hope my wife dies! She deserves it." Darien raised his eyebrows. He was utterly in disbelief. One minute ago this man was crying his heart out, wanting his wife back and then…now he wants her dead?
"If you love her, you wouldn't say that." Darien knew to say and once again the man broke down crying.
"If she loved me, she wouldn't have made me…made me like this."
"Look, maybe she'll come back," He became uncomfortable. The woman must've had good reason to leave, just like Serena had a good reason to leave him.
"Never, I really done it this time…I know it…but I didn't mean it, I really didn't."
"What…?" Darien was confused. The strange man looked at his hands. He was in a trance, talking to himself…
"I didn't mean to hurt her. I only wanted her to…to show her love for me. I only wanted her to make me happy. I didn't mean to…to hurt her." Darien looked at the man in disbelief. He knew these things happened, but he never knew anyone who had…well, he hadn't…until Serena.
"Hurt her…?" he asked. That familiar feeling still clung at the back of his mind.
"All I ever wanted was…everything she could give me."
"What…what do you mean hurt her?" Darien still wondered…thinking…wondering…
"Why couldn't she understand?"
"Who are you?" The man shook out of his ranting and came back to reality.
"Alec…Alec…" but before he could tell Darien his full name, a fist collided with his face.
"What the f…" Darien punched, again and again and still again. Anger and hatred replaced that of pity. That of uncontrollable want of revenge replaced his control. But almost at once, although not quick enough, his mind told him to stop. He stared down at the face of Serena's husband.
"I should kill you for what you did," he said. The man looked at him with horror.
"I'm sorry…I'm so sorry…" he kept saying. He had no idea who this person was…but he was scared.
Darien finally gained full control. He stood up and climbed off Alec and was about to kick him one more time when his mind caught him again.
"If you don't stay away from her, I swear, next time I see you with her, I'll kill you! Do you understand?!"
Blood dripped from Alec's nose. His eyes bulged with bruises. His mouth bled with broken teeth. He nodded, taking everything this man said as a serious threat he shouldn't ignore.
Darien pivoted and took a deep breath. Quietly, he went back inside, locking the door behind him. He felt no fear or regret for what he had just done. He only felt even angrier that he had been feeling badly for the one who had almost…his eyes darted to the couch.
"Serena?" his mind panicked. "Serena!!" The couch lay empty. The room lay deserted.
'God, where is she?" he ran inside and was about to panic even more when he saw a shadow move on the wall. He closed his eyes and pushed back the tear trying to escape. He breathed in again and pursued to the balcony.
(Serena's POV)
I didn't know where I was. Opening my eyes I thought I would see God or Satan. I thought I was dead. Instead I found myself staring at a blank ceiling, warm and feeling not much better, but still warm. My hand darted up to my face and instead of feeling blood I only felt stitches. Fear took hold of me for a few moments. My imagination ran wild and I stiffened. What if Alec had come after me and brought me back? No…he couldn't…I turned my head and looked around. I breathed. I wasn't home…er at Alec's. I was somewhere else. The room was like ours…except it was neater and simpler. A red rose was hanging just above the television. I was surprised it didn't look frail at all or…dying. It looked so healthy…but then again maybe it wasn't real.
I forced myself to sit up. I could hear something outside, but I didn't want to intrude on anything. Quietly I got up. Whoever had helped me was probably sleeping. I wouldn't want to disturb them. I wrapped the blanket around me and stepped outside in the cold, black night.
"How cruel you are to me, world," I said. "Why?"
I didn't want to cry again…"No more," I thought…Instead I hugged the blankets closer around me.
"Serena…?" The sudden intake of breath was painful. My heart throbbed faster. Could it be Alec? No…it couldn't be. I didn't dare turn around to look.
"You should sleep more, after what you've been through." I realized then that the tears had begun their rampage again.
"I'm…fine…" I said through broken voice.
"No you're not," I wasn't thinking right, all I could think about was…that this couldn't be Alec. All I had to do was turn around to find out who this was. But, why was it so hard to achieve?
"I'm not Alec, Meatball Head."
"What…?" In a sudden move, I faced him. And relief passed throughout my body…yet still, a different kind of fear replaced that. "Darien…?" He smiled at me and took a step towards me. My feet were glued to the floor.
(Third person)
"Hey," Darien said taking another step.
"Hi," Serena looked away and stepped back. Darien understood. He brought a chair from the side to her and asked her to sit. Taking another chair he sat across from her just a few steps apart. Both of them stared up at the sky.
"It's a beautiful night, ne?"
"Yes, it is." Silence came next. The stars watched them both as they sat there, leaning back, trying to comprehend what each was thinking of. The streets under them were empty and the still night-air left them alone.
"Thanks," Serena whispered.
"Any time," She brushed away the tears that hadn't stopped flowing. Then taking another big step, she looked at Darien, who by this time had been staring at her. They're eyes met and talked quietly for a few seconds, trying to understand each emotion that passed in and out of sight.
"Whom were you talking to?"
"Huh?"
"I heard uh…I heard you outside, I think…" Darien's face grew cold and protective.
"Nobody…it's 2 in the morning, who would I be talking to?"
"I…I just thought that…" Serena backed off. Her eyes roamed to the other side of Darien, where darkness only occupied the apartment next door. She frowned…and she suddenly knew. Familiarity turned to knowledge, and a few nights back, she knew whom she had heard gossiping.
"You were talking to Alec?" She waited for his answer but heard none. She only saw him turn away to look straight ahead.
"Serena…you're not going back to him are you?" She sighed and gazed back up at the stars. For a moment Darien thought that she would not answer, but then he heard her.
"Why not? He's my husband," She said quietly and unsure.
"For God's sake! If he was your…" he started to shout at her, but angry as he was, he knew he shouldn't be yelling at her. "If he was your husband, Serena…why would he do this to you?" he said more softly.
"He was only angry, Darien…I didn't understand him…you know how I am."
"No, I don't," Serena's face grew cold.
"I'm annoying, that's what I am," he didn't understand her. He looked at her with disbelief. How could she be defending the man who…who almost…killed her?
"I don't understand, you can be annoying, Serena…but you don't deserve to die because of it,"
"I don't want to talk about it!" Serena said with force and fear.
"No. If we don't talk about it now, we're never going to. And tomorrow, you'll go back to him and accept his stupid apology! God, Serena, why, explain to me why? Make me understand why you would possibly even consider going back to that bastard!" Serena didn't know what to say. Why did Darien show so much concern for her? After all these years?
"I don't have to explain anything, Darien."
"You owe me," Serena gazed at him darkly. He knew that she knew that she didn't owe him anything.
"For what?! I didn't ask you to save me…I didn't ask you to make me feel better. How in the world…"
"Just tell me, tell me one good reason that you would go back to him?" Serena grew quiet. Knowing Darien's persistence and anger, she knew that there was no use of resisting.
"He's a great man, Darien, he's my husband. And no matter what he…he does, I vowed to be with him through the worse. You don't know him like I do. I mean, maybe sometimes he scares me. Maybe sometimes he disgusts me. But he is still my husband, and that's reason enough."
"These days, Serena…vows are never thought to be a permanent thing."
"Maybe not to them…but to me. He was right…he did save me," she paused there and focused her eyes on her hands before continuing. "I was so alone…and then he comes and takes me away from everything. And for a while we were happy, he made me laugh, he made me forget. For a while he gave me paradise. And I owe him for that."
"You don't owe him shit,"
"Stop it! You don't understand…" Tears began to well up in her eyes again. Darien didn't back down.
"How can I? Here he is, practically bled you to death and you're saying to me that…you're going back to him?"
'Why, Serena?' Darien could only wonder. Serena kept silent for a few moments. Was she trying to come up with her answer? Darien looked at her with his dark eyes. He studied her again. Where did his confident and happy Meatball Head go? Why did she look so frail, so fragile, so scared? Why didn't she fight back like she always did? Was it his fault?
"Everyone deserves a second chance," she whispered, disturbing his trail of thoughts. He blinked.
"Is this what this is, his second chance? How many times has he done this, Serena? How many?" He stared at her and leaned over. Taking her face in his hands, he knew that she would not be able to lie to him this way or hide her eyes when she did. She closed her eyes and a tear fell away.
"Everyone deserves a chance. You can't waste chances when you have so many to give."
"You're giving him a chance to make up…but why not give yourself a chance to be happy?"
"Darien…" she could not go on. His face softened at the sight of her and without another thought, he gathered her around him, bringing her to his lap. He rocked her back and forth, maybe asking for forgiveness for being so…so mean.
"Why don't you want to be happy?" Serena didn't know. And because of that, she let herself let go. In her tears, she let go of her loneliness of her fear. In her tears, she let go of bad memories and of regrets. In her tears, she let go of everything.
Perhaps an hour or two passed before they moved. Darien's heart was breaking with Serena's, and even though she didn't know that, he didn't want her to. She had already been through a lot that anymore burden would probably make her crazy.
"Come on, sleep?" She nodded and gave him a weak smile. He saw then, the signs of bruises everywhere on her body. His heart broke even more. He carried her, making sure that he wasn't squeezing her too hard. He brought her to his room and laid her softly down.
"I'll sleep on the couch,"
"Don't, Darien. Don't leave me tonight, not right now…onegai?" Serena pleaded, fearing if he left, she would wake up. He nodded and crawled in with her. She pressed close to him and fell quickly to dream.
Darien cried, for her and for him. He wondered then, how could one small little secret, ruin both of their lives? His regret was proven to be true. If he hadn't been so insecure, if he hadn't been so stupid, if he only trusted her to be an adult about him kissing Raye…if only. He squeezed his eyes shut, letting the tears fall. He caressed her hair, knowing maybe he could do something to help her life get better. He wouldn't let her go back to that bastard, no, he couldn't!
--
okay, that's it 4 now.
