Chances To Be Given
Epilogue

After much consideration, I have decided to end this part of the story here. There will be a sequel. But I've
got a Geography project due so that's one main reason i cut the story here. Sorry, it's short. It was written only tonight.

Anyway, do not hate for the way this is written. You can dislike me though...but do not hate me (because i'm beautiful...lol, just joking) and if you want to send me some flames...that's all right too. can't hurt me anymore than damn school!! of course, stay in school b/c it'll start you in your success. :P

Enjoy!

Chances To Be Given
rated: PG (2 swears or something?)
Epilogue

The sunlight passed through the thin curtain overhanging the window beside the bed. It placed its rays nicely so that it only landed on the two figures that laid sleeping in each other's arms. The man stirred, but clutched the woman tighter to him. Even in his dreams, the sun could see that this man held on lovingly.
Two sets of eyes opened slowly revealing two light blue sapphire eyes. The sun could only imagine what she was thinking of as she stared innocently at the person beside her.
'Darien…so I wasn't dreaming, you really did save me.' She snuggled closer. The warmth of his body made her feel safer than she had ever felt before. She laid there quietly, making sure not to disturb him. She watched his stomach go up and down as he breathed. She watched his lips smile once in a while and wondered what he was dreaming. And suddenly, her eyes glinted. Tears outlined her eyes, tears of what?
Slowly, she unwound his arms around her. They refused to let go, but soon afterwards, she pried them off, quickly replacing it's remnants by a pillow. She looked around her shyly. The room hadn't changed at all after all these years. Still neat, still simple, but still safe.
Beside the bed stood a table, supporting on it was a picture. She traced the outlines of the picture frame and smiled longingly at the past. There she was, staring back at herself, in the arms of a man she left behind. A man whom had loved her, who had protected her through every harsh reality she had ever been revealed to. They had been happy…but because of her mistakes, she ruined her own life. A tear landed on the glass surface. She tore her eyes away and looked around once again. At last she found what she was looking for. She picked up the pen and turned to a clean page on the notebook.


Darien,


Thank you for everything. I don't know why you did it again, but you did and you saved my life. I want you to know I'm so grateful that fate let me meet a man like you. I'm sorry I didn't stay…I just have to talk to Alec. And maybe by the time you read this, we have finished talking and I am gone.

I had the most interesting dream Darien. I saw myself looking in the mirror and I saw so many reflections that I didn't know which one actually reflected me. In one reflection I was laughing, in another I was crying. In another, I was crumbling to the ground. There were so many reflections I didn't quite see them all. But there was one that really caught my eye. A reflection of a reflection.

And suddenly I knew…I've been hiding from myself trying not to let the world ruin my life when in truth it was all ready ruined. I ruined it after the third chance I gave away to Alec. I wanted to be happy with him, I wanted him to make me happy, I wanted him to be the one…I wanted so badly to believe that I had to go through so many faces to make it real for me. But you're right, too much is too much. No one deserves so many chances…no one. Not me, not you…and not Alec.

Thank you, Darien. I'm going to start over…I'm going to…I don't know what I'll do…but maybe, you might not see me for a while. But promise not to forget me, okay, Darien? And I promise, I will never forget you, I never have, I never will…you were always there and always will be. And I hope when I do come back…you'll give me another chance as part of your life, even if we're just friends.

Love always,
Meatball Head Serena

PS: I love you, and tell everyone I'm sorry I screwed up. I wish I could've been more mature, then I wouldn't be writing this note and we would all be happy...at least, I hope it would've turned out that way if it had been different. "If onlys" they only make you regret. Don't think about them.

Love you
xoxoxo
Serena

Serena folded up the paper and looked once more at Darien.
'Be happy, Darien…please.' She placed the paper beside the picture and kissed him on the forehead. Then she turned away and left him quietly.



~~~


"Hi,"
"Serena? Uh…come in." He stood behind Serena as he closed the door. He hid his face from her, but too late, she had all ready seen it as she came in.
"What are you doing here? I mean…Serena, you shouldn't be here…I almost…" He cut himself off, flinching at the thought of what he had almost done. He didn't continue but only looked away.
"Killed me," Serena finished. "I only came to talk it out, but not to get back together. Can I sit?"
"Yeah…it's still your home, Serena. Would you like some coffee? Something to eat?"
"Sure…but not now…I can eat later. Sit." He obeyed her without another thought. He knew he owed it to her to understand.
"I'm sorry for what Darien did…"
"Darien…is that the guy that…" he paused and took a few seconds to think. "Acutally, I deserved it. Every bruise that I got from that beating…I deserved it." He said quietly admitting the truth. "He got me thinking, Serena…he really did and he made me understand. I'm so sorry, Serena." Serena sighed. All ready this was getting too emotional for her. She placed her eyes on him and pitied him. For once, he looked so fragile, like a child scared of the monster under his bed. She took his hand and held it in hers. She squeezed it softly, a way to tell him it was all right. He was surprised, he looked at her in disbelief finally revealing his beaten up face and his teary eyes.
"God, Serena…how could you…how could you let me do it? Why did you let me? I know you, you are so much stronger than me…" his voice cracked up every second sentence, it was quiet and thoughtful. His sobs grew intense, as if it was the first time he had ever cried in his life.
"I don't know, Alec." She said ever so slowly. There were a few minutes of silence. Whatever needed to be said had to be said when they were both ready.

"I screwed, Alec. I shouldn't have just accepted my parents decision. I should've fought for love. The first time I saw you, I was attracted, that's the truth. But there was nothing there, only that, an attraction. But I didn't care…I wanted to believe that I had fallen in love with another man other than…other than Darien. I wanted to believe that he wasn't my everything…that I could be happy without him. I mean I only made his life miserable…I only made him lie and be secretive sometimes. I whined a lot…I cried a lot…I wanted all his attention for myself, I was selfish. And I screwed up because, I didn't listen. I screwed up in so many ways than one that…I guess I thought, everything that was happening was deserveful. I was happy with you, I really was…" he questioned her last statement, he knew it couldn't possibly be true. But he sat there and thought about what she said. And then he opened his mouth to speak. He hesitated, then continued. He tried not to look at her as he spoke. He would only see that line of stitches on her face. It was his work and it wasn't something he was proud of.

"At the beginning maybe, but then…I hurt you. And it was unforgivable but you gave me another chance anyway. I didn't know why, but I loved you even more for that. But I saw your mask. Every time I got near, you would advance back. You'd shut yourself up and…and that made me mad. I wanted you so badly, Serena. I wanted your love so badly. I wanted you to see that you could love me. But I guess I didn't make you see. Instead I only made you hate me. But I craved…you are so very beautiful, Serena, and loving you was the most painful thing in the world. I asked myself so many times, "why doesn't she love me? What is it about me, she doesn't love?". And I detested you for making me question myself. I detested you for making me feel so…dirty…angry…lonely. But I loved you so badly…hate couldn't have erased from my heart." Serena glanced at him. His posture that had been straight and confident a day before, was shrunken to a bowed head and a crooked back. "But it was still unforgivable the way I…I hurt you." Serena looked down at her feet, she looked anywhere but at him. And Alec looked out of the room towards the blue sky.

"I understand now," Serena said. 'All this time'…he was right.
She turned her head to look at him and only came to face the back of his head. Forcing her hands to move, she touched his shoulder lightly to get his attention. Slowly, he lifted his head to face her. In his eyes, she saw the love he was talking about. She was overwhelmed…but what could she do? She didn't love him and she didn't want to lie to herself anymore. She knew that he didn't see that love in his eyes, not for him anyway.
"I guess we both screwed up." She stated.
"I'm so sorry for everything," he whispered, his voice projecting the pain he felt.
"And so am I." She whispered back. He smiled a meek one then looked away again.
"I did us both a favor. I went to my lawyer late last night and asked him for divorce papers. All you have to do is sign to get rid of me."
"I need you to know one thing, Alec…that you taught me something…you thought me that you have to fight for the things you want, to be happy, you can't just give in." He nodded.
"As much as you hurt me…it's not comparable to the way I hurt myself. I forgive you, Alec, as long as you forgive me, even if you don't, I still forgive you. I wish I could love you…but my heart, it was taken a long time ago." He nodded again.
"I'll go get the papers." She nodded and watched him advance into the bedroom.
What could he be going through now, she thought. She looked at the time and saw how early it was. Darien would still be sleeping, hopefully. In a minute, Alec came back. Signing the papers was quick, she only had to follow his directions. It was a silent event, neither one of them felt like talking. Neither one of them had no clue on what to say to make the atmosphere a little more breatheable. Finally it was done.
"I'll go get my things packed and then I'll go." Serena stated. She wasn't angry with him and neither was he. They were both just trying to figure out what to do next.
"I understand. Where should I mail a copy of this?"
"My parents…okay?"
"Yeah, I better get ready for work."
"Um…should you go to work? I mean…"
"Oh, yeah…well, everyone there knows that I have a lot of enemies. I'll just explain. Besides, work will keep me from thinking. I'll get this to my lawyer right away."
"Okay then."
She hesitated as she stared at him. She wanted to cry so badly, but she knew she had to be strong and not just for her, but for him too. Finally, she got her feet to move and went to the bedroom and start packing.



~~


Darien opened his eyes with a jolt. Why was Serena so soft and so small? He wondered. He expected to find her in a ball or something but instead only found a pillow. He frowned and doubted for a minute that it had all been a dream.
"It couldn't have been a dream," he thought. He sat up, holding his head in his hands, trying to shake the fear that had started to awaken in him.
"Serena?" he began, hoping she was just in the bathroom or somewhere in the apartment.
"SERENA!!" he screamed louder.
He silence himself and tried to hear. But he only heard the cars outside, the people chatting away and the kids laughing.
He didn't hear her, not a trace.
"Where are you?" he whispered to himself. He squeezed his eyes shut to keep the tears from rolling.
'Men don't cry,' he told himself.
"Yeah right…how many times have I cried?" he chuckled, sounding like a man gone insane.
Then he exploded, throwing the pillow across the room and at the door.
"AGH!" he grunted. He breathed heavily trying to regain control. He looked over his shoulder and at the picture on the table.
Serena stared at him, lovingly and with a bright smile.
"Why did you leave me again, Meatball Head? Why?" a white piece of paper caught his eye and with a fast reflex he grabbed it.
Quickly, he read the few sentences Serena had written to him.
"Damn you!" He threw himself off the bed and began to dress himself.



~~


"Good-bye, Alec," Serena said as she closed the apartment door beside her. She carried with her, two small bags. She didn't take much, just some few clothes and some pictures and personal belongings. And of course, her purse with her money.
She had decided that she would go see the Dr. and asked if he could help her out a little bit. She knew that he would help her and that she could trust him. He had once told her that if she ever needed anything, he was there.
She looked at the next apartment door that was Darien's.
"Good-bye for now, Darien Chiba," she whispered to herself. And she began to walk away towards the elevator.
It was a long wait till it finally opened. Her anxiousness had grown by then. What if Darien woke up and found her?
She pressed the buttons with force, and as the elevator door closed, she saw Darien's apartment door open with a start. She dismissed it, thinking that she had only imagined it.



~~


"Damn her! If she goes back to him, I'll personally kill her!" Darien fumed.
In his anger and hurry he neglected to see the blonde figure who had just gone down in the elevator.
He stomped the few steps to Alec's door and knocked loudly.
"Open this door! Where's Serena!! Alec, you bastard, where is she?!"
The door flung open and Alec stood there, frightened and surprised at the same time.
"You…" he said. Darien walked passed him and looked around.
He would find her, he had to. And that was his goal.
"Where is she?" he looked at Alec.
"Who?"
"Serena!!" the man stepped back and frowned.
"She just left…a few minutes ago." He stammered.
"Where? Where did she go?"
"She didn't say…"
"You mean…she's not going back to you?"
"No…she's not." Alec's eyes dropped down to the floor. Darien sighed.
"Thank God," he breathed more easily now, knowing she wasn't going to be nice to this…this so called man anymore.
"I should've beaten you to death," he suddenly said.
"She forgave me and that's all I care about," he stated for his defense.
"What?! Ugh, I don't know why, but she must have a reason. I got to go find her."
And without even investigating anymore, he walked out of the apartment to the elevator.


~~


'Wow, I'm on time for the bus this time,' Serena thought. S
he looked up at the apartment once again and tried to see which balcony belonged to Darien.
'Whichever one is yours, Darien, I hope you'll be happy.'
"All aboard, miss." the bus driver told her, taking her out of her daze.
"Oh, thank you," she stepped on and trudged down to the back to take a seat.
'Here I go, no more husband, no more fear, no more "Ms. Nice Girl"'


~~


Darien ran out of the apartment and looked all around him.
Where could she be? He wondered.
He saw nobody.
The lot was empty and so was the streets.
And far hidden by a wall, the bus trudged on down the road.
Darien stumbled down on the ground, he had lost her again, but he would find her.
'I love you, Serena, and I will never forget you, I promise. I'll be here when you come back…I willl. I'll be waiting.'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And there it you have it for this part of the story. Sequel or no? tell me, whichever way is fine with me.