Mix n Match

Plan Five – Operation Desperate Fools

Having been completely embarrassed by Stephanie and Helm's blatantly trying to set him up with Lita, Chris had decided to stay away from the 'happy couple' for a few weeks. He hoped it would get the outrageous notion out of their heads!

He was pretty much at the end of his rope, unsure of what else to do. Well, there was always that kidnapping idea. Surely that would work? After Stephanie was done with the screaming, the cursing, and the inevitable face slapping, things would calm down, and Chris would get his chance to plead his case.

And then, finally, the woman of his dreams would fall happily into his arms. Yeah. And Taka Michinoku was about to become the best WWF Champion in history.

Chris sighed, shouldering his bag. It was a little early, but he'd had his match and he didn't feel like hanging around to watch the little love-fest between the newly engaged Trish Stratus and Jeffery Hardy.

His rental car – he had decided that that plan was never going to work – was parked at the very end of the row of cars, at the very end of the lot. There wasn't even any lights to show him the way. However, he didn't miss the figure walking in the same direction.

Chris quickened his pace, hoping to catch up with the person. A woman, it seemed, from the way her hips swayed. A very familiar sway. His heart started beating wildly as his head started thinking crazy thoughts. He was going to be put away for life, he knew.

But before he could change his mind, he acted quickly. Hurrying towards the woman, he grabbed her from behind, rushing her towards his rental car. Clamping his hands none too gently over her mouth, he quickly unlocked the door and threw her in, pushing her towards the passenger seat even as he climbed into the car. Simultaneously starting the engine and shoving his bag into the back, Chris reversed and squealed out of the car park.

'What the hell do you think you're doing?' Stephanie demanded angrily, a hint of fear in her tone.

He had to speak quickly. 'Steph, I'm sorry! I really am!'

'Chris?!'

'Yeah, hi. Look, I need you to listen to me, okay? That's all. Just listen.' He had to take a deep breath, turning a corner sharply to avoid having to stop at the red light. She might jump out of the car. 'I love you! I'm in love with you, and I have been for a long time!'

'Well, you certainly have an interesting way of showing it!'

'I'm sorry for scaring you, but well, call it temporary insanity.'

'No, I call it five years. Minimum.'

'Wait, just hear me out, okay? I'm deeply, intensely, crazy in love with you. I, Chris Jericho, love you, Stephanie McMahon. I love you. I do. I love you. I don't want to break you and Helms up- Well, not really, but you seem quite happy with him. The point is, I love you. And I want you. I love you, Steph!'

To his astonishment, she started laughing. 'Chris, I heard you the first time.'

Still wary about having to stop, he quickly turned a corner again. 'What?'

'I heard you the first time. You can slow down a little now. I won't jump out, I promise.'

Chris did as he was told, glancing briefly at her in disbelief. 'I…I guess I just wanted you to know how I feel about you.'

'That's sweet, Chris.'

He sighed heavily. 'But you're in love with Helms. Okay, I get that.'

'No, I'm not. Actually, we broke up last night.'

Chris's hands jerked the wheel in shock, and he slammed the brakes on, narrowly missing a parked car. Fortunately, there was very little traffic at that time. 'What?!'

'Um, yeah. We decided that things didn't seem to be working too well between us.'

His heart was thumping hard against his chest. 'Oh.'

'That, and I'm kind of interested in someone else.'

'Oh.'

'Yeah.'

'Oh.'

'So…'

'So…I guess I should take-'

'Chris, aren't you going to ask?'

'Ask what?'

Stephanie rolled her eyes. 'God, men can be so dense sometimes!'

He was utterly confused. He had just made a major fool of himself, and he was thinking of ways to kill himself. He wasn't in any mood to think about how stupidly laughable she thought of him. 'What?'

She shook her head. 'What do you say we go back and you drop me back at the car park so I can get my rental?'

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. 'Okay.'

*

Chris opened the door to his hotel room, and was surprised to see Lita with a huge smile on her face. 'Hey,' he greeted unenthusiastically

'Guess what?!' she exclaimed excitedly, rushing into the room and facing him.

'What?'

'Oh, you would never believe what just happened to me!'

'What? Oh, by the way, Steph and Helms aren't together anymore,' he informed her.

'Yeah, I know!'

Chris stared at her. 'Then why didn't you tell me?'

'I just found out like an hour ago. Greg and I were taking the elevator up, and I don't know, I lost my mind for a second. I pressed the emergency stop button, and I told him about how I felt about him. And guess what happened next?'

'He asked you out on a date? He fell happily into your arms? You made babies on the floor?'

'The first one, followed by the second one, and I'm planning on doing the third one.'

Chris's eyes widened in shock. 'But-'

'Which means, Stephanie is free! So, what are you waiting for? Go to her!'

'But-'

'Go!'

'Li-'

'Now!'

*

Chris waited nervously for the door to open, hoping he wasn't too late. Sounds of shuffling, a loud thump followed by a curse, and then finally some barely audible muttering were all heard from inside the room.

When the door opened, it revealed a sleepy looking Stephanie. 'Chris? What are you doing here?'

'I need to ask you a question.'

'What time is it?'

'Um…nearly three thirty.'

'Can't it wait?'

'No. I'll be quick, I promise.'

She muttered something under her breath that sounded a little like 'I hope not.' But he couldn't be sure, so he ignored it.

'What is it?' Stephanie asked more loudly, shaking her head and waking herself up fully.

'Who is it?'

'Who is what?'

'You said, before, that you were interested in someone else. Who is it?'

'That's what you woke me up to ask me?'

'Yeah.'

Stephanie looked thoughtfully at him for a minute, and he began to get nervous under her gaze. She smiled slyly, stepping aside as she opened the door wider. 'Why don't you come in and find out?'

Chris smiled.

The End