The Loony Plot Thickens
Well, everyone was bored stiff, X-Men, human and monkey-lizard alike. It was now the next day and they already had thought up a plan, Malonhunter was going to go and talk to Kyr, try to convince her of coming back to Death Mountain, (but if worst came to worst, Malonhunter and her monkey-lizards would kidnap her) and then they would tell the purple bananas to capture the alien who was posing as Sage.
"I don't see 'her Mon ami! Someone else go look!" Gambit said.
"Ah'll go and lookout from the sky, care to join me Storm?" Rogue asked.
Storm was looking a little green, staring out the mouth of the cave. Everyone turned around and saw a couple of huge purple bananas with brand new steering wheels. Before anyone could act, one popped out of its peel and blew up Professor X's wheelchair.
Kyr jumped off of one and slapped it, "I told you don't hurt anyone! Mr. Yellow-thingy is now dead an' I don't think baldy over there is to happy!"
"I'M NOT BALD!!!!! All of my hair just moved down to form my luxurious eyebrows, which I am growing out to donate to the homeless!!!" Professor X said, obviously infuriated.
"I tink de Professor has a few gears loose," Gambit whispered,
"Not Gears, Plates, Paper ONES!" he yelled.
"My dear Professor, I think you should lie down for awhile, you don't seem yourself!" Beast said gently.
The Professor looked up for a moment before realizing what he had said, then calmed down a little bit.
"Malonhunter, is you an alien?" Kyr cried, "The fako Sage is gonna take you to a baaaad place, yes, oh, very bad indeed!"
"How dya know dat she's a fake eh?" Gambit asked, surprised anyone could be so weird.
" Cause she talks to me like a SANE person, doesn't even yell, either she suddenly got smart or isn't SAge, I don't think she could gain brains so fast-like," Kyr said between hiccups, "Hic- I don't like- hic- the way- hic- she talks- hic- to me- hic- sanely- hic-"
Suddenly, Beast jumped down from the ceiling right in front of Kyr and scared the beans out of her.
"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHic, hic, HICUP!"
"Ok, she should be cured!" Beast said, pleased with himself.
"Kyr did the fake Sage make Madame Zola believe her?" Malonhunter asked
Kyr simply nodded because she was still in shock of what Beast had done. Rogue abruptly picked up Professor X and flew of.
"Hey! Where d'you tink your goin'?" Gambit yelled
"Oh wise and powerful Ms- er- Professor X will rule the world!!!!" Rogue cried
" I tink de Professor went off de deep end and is pwobin' Rogue's mind!" Gambit yelled
Suddenly, the Blackbird finally came into view. Once it landed, the door opened and Adrienne came out screaming, "Holy son of a monkey!! AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!! It's the pansy-man!!!! Run for your lives!!!! Every monkey for herself!!!!" she screamed, She ran down the ramp and hid behind MalonHunter.
"I thought that you would do that........ what's it this time?" Malonhunter asked.
"Buddy-boy in spandex blinded me for life!" she said," wait a minute, if he's real, then Gambit is real- NAAAAAHHHHH, there's no way,"
"The lights on but no one's home," Kyr said," where is de Cajun anyway?"
"Ah don't know, but somethin's going on!" Rogue said
"Wait a minute, you just flew away carrying the Professor!" Beast exclaimed
"Hank, no such thing happened, the last thing I remember, I was hit on the head....... Someone must be an imposter......" Professor X said while in deep thought
"It wasn't anyone I know, didn't smell like any mutant I've ever met.... anyone know someone who'd smell like a loony bin?" Wolverine asked
The three non-mutants in the room- er- cave looked at each other, then at Wolverine
"You are sure, one hundred percent sure..... couldn't you have gotten the scent mixed up with- I don't know- the Professor's after-shave, or some sort of perfume Rogue wears?" Sage asked
"That's a thought, but the Rogue doesn't wear any perfume and the Professor's after-shave smells more like cow dung," Wolverine said while trying not to laugh
"WHAT?!?!?!? I don't smell like a cow's buttocks, you do!" Professor X yelled
"OH YEAH?!?!?!? Wanna fight old man?" Wolverine yelled
"Hit me with you best shot-"
Out of nowhere, two objects whizzed passed, then blew up while knocking out Rogue, Professor X and Wolverine.
"Everyone can relax, Gambit has returned!" Gambit said, followed by another Rogue and Professor X.
"AAAAHHHHH!!! He does exist! Can I have your autograph?!?!?!?" Sage shrieked
SLAP!!! Malonhunter slapped a piece of industrial strength duct tape over Sage's mouth
"Must be Gambit's way wid women!" Gambit said, getting a little full of himself
"How are there two of them?" Kyr asked
"These two are fake," Wolverine said motioning to the two unconscious on the floor while attempting to get off of the ground, " the girly was right, it was the Professor's after-shave that I smelled, while these two smelled like nothing!"
As though those were magic words, the fake Rogue and Professor X disappeared into thin air.
"OKAY..... I didn't expect that, but whatever..... LOOPY DRUGS!!!" Kyr screamed
Malonhunter shoved a bottle full of pills down Kyr's throat to bring her mind into reality- atleast temporarily.
"What should we do about de problem we have eh? Ya know, de freaky kid who is an alien?" Gambit asked
"The plan will go the according to what we discussed, but Kyr must go back and act like she doesn't know anything," Professor X said
"I know! Beast, can you program the Purple Bananas to abduct the alien on time?" Sage asked, finally yanking of the duct tape
"Of course!" Beast said while hopping over to the bananas
"I know how to make her forget!" Malonhunter said as she banged a rock over Kyr's head
"She'll wake up sometime on the flight to the house and won't remember a thing!" Beast said, "Brilliant!"
"Don't worry, it was a fluke, it'll pass," Malonhunter reassured
"Ah hope this works or we all are in really big trouble!" Rogue said as she loaded Kyr into the biggest banana
They sat there and watched the fleet of bananas fly off into the sunset, each hoping that the alien will die hard- why? Who knows?