Okay!!! Alright!!! Okay, well, this fanfiction is about Draco and Harry,
but told from Ron's point of view. They (Draco and Harry) get into a fight
when Ron overhears them half way through, and he doesn't know what it's
about, so he makes some err, really bad assumptions. Oh, and I'm not
telling you what their fighting about until the end!
* * * * * * *
"Damn you Potter!!! You ruined it! Ruined it!" Ron heard Draco yell from down the hall he was about to go into. He sensed trouble and waited beyond sight to listen.
"Hey! It's not my fault!" He heard Harry reply.
"Oh yes it is! If you would have been a man about it and just swallowed it, this never would have happened!"
"Swallow it? That is disgusting! It was white and creamy and.EW!"
"So, if I could swallow it, so could you!"
"Hey, if you wouldn't have tried to make me swallow so much at once I never would have spit it on you!"
"What the hell were they talking about?" Ron thought. It was beginning to sound a little unwholesome.
"Yeah, well come on, I could have made you drink twice as much!" Draco continued.
"Phwh! I doubt it! You don't have the man power!"
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah!"
"God, I don't know why I ever took you up on this offer! And to think I had to get on my knees.." Draco was saying but was cut off by Ron.
"WHAT THE HELL! WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT" Ron yelled stepping to where he could see them and they could see him. Draco and Harry turned and looked at him. Draco's pants were all wet at the crotch area and Harry was holding a glass of something that Ron couldn't see.
"Ron! What the bloody hell were you doing there!" Harry asked obviously surprised.
"Listening to you two! You better not be talking about what it sounded like!"
"What did it sound like Weasly?" Draco asked sarcastically.
"It sounded like you two were talking about.you know.with the mouth.and the you know.and getting on your knees." Ron trailed off. Harry and Draco obviously got the drift. They looked at each other then began to do the whole 'I'm so grossed out I cant speak' look.
"Ron, what do you take me for, and idiot? Like I would ever want to do that with Malfoy. EW! Just went to a bad visual place!" Harry said cringing.
"Weasly, you are. I'm not even going to grace you with an insult," Draco said looking utterly embarrassed for Ron.
"Well, if you weren't, you know, then what were you talking about?" Ron asked looking quite relieved.
"Well, Potter here created some kind of magically enchanced milk (it's quite disgusting). He said that it made you grow faster, and he wanted to test it on me, because if something went wrong he didn't want it to happen to one of his.*sarcastic laugh*.. Friends. So in a moment of utter stupidity I agreed as long as he did it too." Draco said looking at his fingernails.
"Oh. I get it about the 'all white and creamy thing', but what about the 'had to get on my knees; thing."
"The better to record height differences, my pretty," Harry said in his best evil voice.
"Oh. Well, okay. But what was ruined?" Ron asked.
"My pants! Look at them, their all covered in 'enhanced milk', yuck!" Draco whined. Harry turned to Ron and the walked down the corridor.
"So did it work?" Ron asked.
"Huh?" Harry replied.
"The milk, did it work?"
"Oh *laugh* that. Actually, I don't know. It err, wasn't supposed to do what I told Malfoy it would do."
"So, what was it?"
"A temporary shrink potion. It will shrink any body part for a day and a half."
"Oh! So that's why you wouldn't drink it!"
"No, actually drinking it does nothing. It has to touch the skin of the body part you want to shrink. And that's why I had us get on our knees, and why I spit it out." Harry said laughing a little. It took Ron a little while to get what Harry was saying, but when he did he laughed for the rest of the day. And sure enough about twenty minutes later, Draco's (very manly) scream was heard throughout the entire castle.
"WHAT HAPPENED TO IT!"
* * * * * * *
"Damn you Potter!!! You ruined it! Ruined it!" Ron heard Draco yell from down the hall he was about to go into. He sensed trouble and waited beyond sight to listen.
"Hey! It's not my fault!" He heard Harry reply.
"Oh yes it is! If you would have been a man about it and just swallowed it, this never would have happened!"
"Swallow it? That is disgusting! It was white and creamy and.EW!"
"So, if I could swallow it, so could you!"
"Hey, if you wouldn't have tried to make me swallow so much at once I never would have spit it on you!"
"What the hell were they talking about?" Ron thought. It was beginning to sound a little unwholesome.
"Yeah, well come on, I could have made you drink twice as much!" Draco continued.
"Phwh! I doubt it! You don't have the man power!"
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah!"
"God, I don't know why I ever took you up on this offer! And to think I had to get on my knees.." Draco was saying but was cut off by Ron.
"WHAT THE HELL! WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT" Ron yelled stepping to where he could see them and they could see him. Draco and Harry turned and looked at him. Draco's pants were all wet at the crotch area and Harry was holding a glass of something that Ron couldn't see.
"Ron! What the bloody hell were you doing there!" Harry asked obviously surprised.
"Listening to you two! You better not be talking about what it sounded like!"
"What did it sound like Weasly?" Draco asked sarcastically.
"It sounded like you two were talking about.you know.with the mouth.and the you know.and getting on your knees." Ron trailed off. Harry and Draco obviously got the drift. They looked at each other then began to do the whole 'I'm so grossed out I cant speak' look.
"Ron, what do you take me for, and idiot? Like I would ever want to do that with Malfoy. EW! Just went to a bad visual place!" Harry said cringing.
"Weasly, you are. I'm not even going to grace you with an insult," Draco said looking utterly embarrassed for Ron.
"Well, if you weren't, you know, then what were you talking about?" Ron asked looking quite relieved.
"Well, Potter here created some kind of magically enchanced milk (it's quite disgusting). He said that it made you grow faster, and he wanted to test it on me, because if something went wrong he didn't want it to happen to one of his.*sarcastic laugh*.. Friends. So in a moment of utter stupidity I agreed as long as he did it too." Draco said looking at his fingernails.
"Oh. I get it about the 'all white and creamy thing', but what about the 'had to get on my knees; thing."
"The better to record height differences, my pretty," Harry said in his best evil voice.
"Oh. Well, okay. But what was ruined?" Ron asked.
"My pants! Look at them, their all covered in 'enhanced milk', yuck!" Draco whined. Harry turned to Ron and the walked down the corridor.
"So did it work?" Ron asked.
"Huh?" Harry replied.
"The milk, did it work?"
"Oh *laugh* that. Actually, I don't know. It err, wasn't supposed to do what I told Malfoy it would do."
"So, what was it?"
"A temporary shrink potion. It will shrink any body part for a day and a half."
"Oh! So that's why you wouldn't drink it!"
"No, actually drinking it does nothing. It has to touch the skin of the body part you want to shrink. And that's why I had us get on our knees, and why I spit it out." Harry said laughing a little. It took Ron a little while to get what Harry was saying, but when he did he laughed for the rest of the day. And sure enough about twenty minutes later, Draco's (very manly) scream was heard throughout the entire castle.
"WHAT HAPPENED TO IT!"
