Consequences, Choices, and Confessions
by pari106

pari106@hotmail.com
http://www.geocities.com/pari106/damain.html


Disclaimer and rating in chapter 1.

A/N: This timeline begins shortly after "I And I Am A Camera", and flashes back to shortly after "The
Kidz Are Aiight." In this AU, "Hit a Sista Back" never happens. Therefore, neither does the events of
"Meow" or AJBAC.


A/A/N: Oh...and thanks for all the reviews :D Wonder how I got so many...(laughs maniacally). No, seriously, thanks. And keep it up! Hope the updates don't disappoint.


Chapter 2

Max reached the tiny little town she'd told Logan about. It was more of a truck stop than a town, really –
just a couple of bars, a diner, a filling station, and a cheap, old motel. When she got there, Max headed
straight for the motel. She parked her baby around back and rented a room at the far end of the building.

Then she went inside to wait.

The waiting was going to be a problem. As long as she could keep busy, ever since the last time she'd seen
Zack, she'd been okay. But when there was nothing to do but wait…it could drive her crazy.

Max dropped her pack by the door, and lay down on the only bed in the room. The covers were worn, and
didn't look particularly clean, but at this point Max didn't care.

It was starting again. The cramps, the nausea. Max just clutched her stomach and lay there, crying.

And as she did she thought about the last time she'd seen Zack…



**** ****



About two months before…

The first thing Max noticed when she awoke, early that morning, was that this was not her apartment.

There were no coffee smells. No "Suga, you betta wake up. If you're late for work one more day,
Normal's gonna chew your hide. And Original Cindy don't need the drama today, aiight?" Nothing.

Then she noticed that this was not her bed. Nor did the arm, so casually draped across her hips, belong to
her.

Max's eyes flew open and sudden realization dawned.

Max didn't sleep much. But when she did, when she was tired or sick, she slept like the dead. Everything
left her head except for the dreams that came next. Including her memory. So when she woke, it took her a
moment to take stock of her surroundings.

So Max lay there and took stock.

She was in a motel room. Clean enough. The bed was comfortable, and the body laying next to her in it…

Max was naked. As was the man sleeping beside her, one arm wrapped possessively around her waist, the
other lying across her side. His face was burrowed in the crook of her neck and she could feel his warm,
deep breaths against her skin, stimulating the nerves up and down her spine. They were pressed intimately
against one another. Very intimately. His larger, warmer, muscular body was spooned around hers, their
legs intertwined. She could feel…

Max swallowed. Well, never mind about that.

A lot of emotions assaulted her as she recalled the night before. Surprise, affection. Desire. Max caught
her breath as the man shifted in his sleep, drawing her even closer to him. Electricity snaked through her
body, shooting off from every point where her body touched his, and bringing a small sigh to Max's lips.

But there was also fear. Fear, confusion, and uncertainty. There was this sinking sensation as though she'd
just jumped off of a cliff without looking where she might land, too caught up in the moment to be afraid.

She looked over at the corner of the room. Her clothes were piled up there with his. Her boots were lying
under the table sitting there. His leather jacket was hanging off the chair sitting there beside it.

Zack's leather jacket.

Max felt a new emotion join the others inside her mixed up, Manticore-made body: panic.

She turned, doing so slowly and easily so that she wouldn't wake her lover…

'Lover? Oh my God…'

She turned and saw Zack.



**** ****



Max's heart was beating so fast, just thinking about that last morning that she saw him, that at first she
thought that was the sound that had pulled her out of her reverie. That her own heartbeat had interrupted
her thoughts.

But then she realized the sound had been a knock at the door.

Max sat up suddenly. Too suddenly, because she had to grab her head to keep from falling over at the
movement. Her eyes flew to the door.

The knock came again.

Max's palms were sweaty and her breath was shaky. She'd been waiting for this for a long time.

She rose and went to the door, slowly pulling it open. Zack was standing on the other side.

For a moment, the two of them simply stared at one another. Neither realizing that the other seemed just as
floored by this reunion as they were. They simply stared, wide-eyed. Nervous.

"Maxie," Zack said, releasing the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding, until just now that he saw
she was okay.

Or at least she looked mostly okay. She was so pale…

"Zack…"

That's all Max could say. Then she fainted into Zack's arms.



**** ****



During the entire trip to Washington, Zack put his bike to the test, racing himself to get to the specified
destination as fast as he could. It wasn't very far away. Zane was just living in the next state. Which was
convenient, because Zack didn't know how he'd hold up if he had to wait any longer than that.

He was consumed by his fear that something had happened to Max.

"What's wrong with Max?" he'd said as soon as Logan had picked up his phone.

There was a moment of silence on the other end. "Hello to you, too," came the other man's sardonic reply.

Zack had scowled into the receiver. "What's…" he began to repeat himself, but Logan didn't let him
finish.

"Who says anything's wrong with her?"

"Listen, you son of a…"

Logan had cut him off.

"Max is fine," he'd said. But the grim tone of his voice made Zack worry otherwise. "But there's some
place you need to be."

"What? Where's Max?"

"You'll find out. Just show up where I tell you to, and you'll figure things out for yourself."

Zack had seen red at the obviously antagonistic attitude Logan was giving him. But his worry over Max
had overcome his anger.

"Show up where?" he'd asked. And Logan had told him. So that's where he was heading, at top speed.

And if he were a praying man, he would have spent every moment of the trip in prayer. It would just be
fitting that something would happen to Max now. Now when he'd finally realized what he had to do for
her. No matter what Zack did, it seemed that all his life something had to happen to ruin his plans.

"Not this time," he mumbled to himself. Not now. Not when his plans concerned Max. He would let
nothing happen to Max. Nothing.

And he wasn't a praying man, so he occupied his thoughts with memories instead. Memories of the last
time he and Max were together. And of the events that led up to that moment.



**** ****



About three months before…

Zack's world had just turned upside down.

He and Tinga had just been settling into their new lives in Quebec. He hadn't meant to stay as long as he
had, but his sister had seemed oddly distraught when they'd crossed the Canadian border. She'd been
jittery and emotional ever since. So he'd agreed to stay with her a while and help her settle in. And that's
what he'd done.

Then she dropped the bomb.

He'd gotten her a cabin by a lake – never mind where he'd gotten the funds for something like that. He'd
figured it was the least he could do. Tinga seemed heartbroken to be leaving Portland. And since he'd
been the one to blow her cover, Zack had felt responsible. They were sitting outside the cabin, on the
porch, when Tinga told him.

"What did you say?" he asked after a long silence. His voice was low and quiet, and he spoke carefully.
This was usually a bad sign. Tinga began to cry.

"I said I…I have a family, Zack. A little boy…"

Zack was on his feet in a second. He just had to move. He had to do something, or he'd hit something, and
he'd turn a gun on himself before he'd hit his sister simply out of anger. He ran his fingers through his hair,
desperately trying to remain calm.

"You…you have…" his words tumbled over one another. Finally, he stopped and took a deep breath.
"How can you have a son?" he demanded harshly.

Tinga glared up at him through her tears. "Gee, Zack, I wonder." Then her defiant expression crumpled as
easily as it had appeared.

"Zack…"

She walked up to him, putting a hand on his arm, her eyes pleading for understanding. But he brushed her
off.

"Zack, I'm sorry! I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I guess I…"

"You what?"

"I guess I was afraid that you would do what you're doing now. That you'd make me leave them."

Zack kind of laughed. It was an involuntary, humorless reaction. And he gave it mostly because he didn't
know how else to react without breaking down and crying himself.

"That's not fair, Tinga," he said finally, serious again. In control again. He always had to be in control.
"You had to leave because Lydecker was onto you," Zack reminded her.

"I know, but I…"

"What do you want? For me to say I'm sorry again? One more time – do you think that's going to help?
I'm sorry I fucked my family over by not keeping my big mouth shut? Well, I am, okay! I'm sorry! Is
that better?"

Tinga simply watched Zack as he ranted. A lot of different emotions were playing out on her face.
Irritation at his reaction to her confession, anger; but also compassion and love. She would never stop
hating Manticore for what they had done to her brother.

She waited until his tirade ended, and he had calmed slightly, before she reached out to him again. This
time he let her hand lay where it was, but he didn't look at her.

"There's nothing you could have done differently, Zack," she told him, grabbing his chin and making him
look at her when he would have shaken his head in denial. "Nothing," she insisted firmly. "There was no
way you could have known Manticore was listening in on you."

"But I should have expected it. I should have known…"

"Oh, yes, the big bad CO. You should know everything, right? You shouldn't be capable of pain or
weakness or *humanity*, right?" Tinga's words were heated, and Zack flinched despite himself, as if she'd
actually slapped him. But that wasn't what she'd meant. She sighed, putting her hands on either side of
Zack's face. Knowing he was uncomfortable with this sort of emotional expression, but doing it anyhow.

"There's no way you could have known," she repeated. "You did everything you could to keep us safe.
No one…no one, Zack…could have survived what you have and still have protected the X5s the way you
did." Tinga's voice cracked there at the end, and this time Zack didn't try to argue.

Then she let her hands fall away, drawing a shaky breath.

"This isn't about you, Zack. It's about me," she said, tiredly. Finally he looked at her. "I thought…when
you and Max came for me, I thought it would just be best if I left Charlie and Case behind. I thought it
would be safer." Her eyes began to tear again. "I thought I could do it, but I can't."

Zack just stared at her, then he shook his head, his eyes fluttering open and closed for just a moment.

"So that's it, then? You're going to go back there, risk going back there? Disregard your family's safety
by looking them up again? You'll be leading Lydecker straight to them." There was no anger or desire to
wound in Zack's words. To him, that was a perfectly acceptable argument. He wasn't implying that Tinga
was being selfish or inconsiderate. He was only pointing out the very real danger that lay ahead for her if
she chose to return to the states. Tinga realized this.

"That's assuming that leaving them will keep them safe," Tinga said in her defense. "I don't think so any
more, Zack. Lydecker knows I was in Portland. Charlie and Case are still there and they have no idea
what kind of danger they could be in. What if Lydecker keeps looking? What if he finds out they're there?
What if he tries to use them to get to me?"

"He won't have to, if you go back there anyway. You'll be playing right into his hands and he won't have
to lift a finger."

"But he won't be expecting me to return this quickly. And it's so soon, I doubt he's found out about
Charlie or Case yet. But the longer I wait, the bigger the chance that that could happen."

Zack listened to her words, her determination, and he sighed. Tired of fighting. Tired of always fighting.

"We had a deal, Tinga," he said quietly. "We agree…"

"No, Zack. You agreed. You decided how the rest of us X5s should live. And I know you only mean the
best. But I can't live like that, Zack. That's why Max won't leave Seattle, because she can't live like that."

"The others…"

Tinga sighed. "No, Zack. The others don't want to live like that, either. Did you know that that time Syl
"lost" your number? She didn't lose it, Zack. She threw it away before she even looked at it."

Zack blinked. "What?"

Tinga just nodded.

"That's crazy!"

"She was happy Zack. She wanted to stay that way. Even if it meant putting herself in danger, she wanted
to be happy. We all go through that."

Zack shook his head. "Putting herself in danger like that… You're telling me you agree with her? Risking
your life for some silly phase we all go through?"

Tinga frowned. "It's not a phase, Zack. And it's not silly. We all want a little bit of happiness. That's
life, Zack. You have to have a little of something good in your life, or what is it worth living for, anyway?

And Charlie and Case…they're that good something in my life. They *are* my life. I can't let them go. I
was crazy to think that I could."

"You're crazy now."

Tinga smiled, but the gesture seemed almost sad. "Maybe so. But if you think loving someone is crazy,
then I don't want to be sane."

Zack rolled his eyes. But Tinga's words were starting to tear into him and his mind was reeling. He'd
always had so much trouble from Max. From Zane and Ben. There had even been a time or two when
Jondy or Krit had disobeyed orders. But Tinga had never fought him. He'd always thought that she
understood. Now he was questioning the very basis of the way he led his team. And now he learned that
Syl had lied to him. That she'd purposefully lost his number, even though he'd only given it to her to
protect her…

His whole world was spinning.

Tinga watched these thoughts play out on her brother's face. She was sorry that she had to break the news
to him this way. But the X5s were growing up all around him, and Zack hadn't even realized how they
were changing. He'd never considered changing his policy as well. And Tinga was sorry to see him look
so tormented, but she hoped that he'd take this news the right way. That he'd use it to reevaluate the way
he did things. Find a way that allowed them all to survive, but live at the same time. A way that would
allow him to finally live, for the first time.

"We love you, Zack," she told him now. "You might not want to hear it, but it's true. We love you and we
worry about you. But we can't keep doing things this way. I'm going back to Portland. I've made my
decision. And if you keep convincing yourself that that is wrong, then you're going to run into this same
obstacle over and over again, with every one of your brothers and sisters. I don't want that to happen,
Zack. I don't want you to have to spend your whole life feeling like a harried father trying to control his
recalcitrant children. I don't want to spend the rest of my life feeling like a disobedient child."

Tinga's words might have been harsh, but they got through to Zack. He simply stared at her.

"I want you to think about things, Zack. Think about your life. Think about whether or not you've ever
really had some happiness in it. Think about what you left behind." 'Max,' Tinga thought, knowing that if
Zack weren't thinking the same thing, then he should. She'd seen the way her baby sister had looked at
Zack when they'd left. Zack only saw how she looked at Logan, but Tinga saw more. She saw realization
starting to dawn in Max's eyes. New and confusing emotions starting to take hold. She hoped her brother
could open his eyes and see the same things before it was too late to do something about them.



**** ****

"Think about it, Zack," Tinga had said.

So Zack had thought about it. He'd thought about it in Canada. And he'd thought about it as he crossed
the border. He'd thought about it as he entered Washington.

And, finally, he'd thought about it that day, about a month later, when he'd arrived in Seattle.

And when he was through thinking about it, he'd gone to find Max.