The TempestXtreme Talk Show – Episode Two: Selphie's revenge! By TempestXtreme

Rebecca: Hello and welcome to another episode of the TempestXtreme Talk show!

Audience: *clap frantically because Tempest has a large cannon and is preparing to use it…on them*

Rebecca: TEMPEST!!

Tempest: Huh? What? Oh, we're on the air? *puts away the cannon, much to the relief of the audience* Today's first guest: Selphie Tilmitt from FF8!

Selphie: *half-skips, half-hops onto the stage* Heey! Stormy! Hi!

Tempest: I've asked you not to call me that -_-

Suicidal guy in audience: "STORMY"?!? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! *gets fried by multiple fireballs*

Rebecca: Tempest…

Tempest: I know, I know… I'm not supposed to fry the audience.

Rebecca: No…the fireballs were too small ^_^ They should have been this size! *fries the same man with multiple bus-sized fireballs*

Selphie: O.o

Tempest: Hmm…yes, those fireballs were bigger! Now, Selphie, your boyfriend is Irvine Kinneas, correct?

Selphie: What? Irvine? My boyfriend? NO! Xel is my boyfriend!

Xellos: *'ports in from backstage* Selphie! ^_^

Selphie: Xelly-poo! ^___^ *glomps Xellos*

Tempest, Rebecca and the audience: O.o

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

Selphie and Xellos: ^_____________^

Rebecca: *snaps* FIIIIIIIIIREEEEEEEEEEEEEEBALLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!! *sends a double-deck-bus-sized fireball at them and blows them through the roof* THAT was the single most disturbing thing I have ever had the misfortune of seeing!

Tempest:  *is catatonic* O.o

Rebecca: Uh, we'll be back after these commercial breaks…

COMMERCIAL#1:

Announcer: Well, Christmas is coming folks, and y'all know what that means! Yes! FRUITCAKE! Order our fruitcake today; it's fruit-a-licious! *takes a bite out of the fruitcake* What's this stuff made from anyway?

Xellos: Sore wa himitsu desu!

Announcer: O.O AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! I'VE BEEN POISONED!!

COMMERCIAL#2:

Squall: Whatever.

Uh…back to our show, I guess…

Rebecca: And welcome back! I'm your hostess, Rebecca Angelheart! Tempest was, uh, indisposed!

Tempest: *can be seen hyperventilating after finding Xellos and Selphie skinny-dipping*

Rebecca: * a little TOO eagerly* Our next guest is somebody who looks up to me and worships the ground I walk on –

Guy in Audience: YEAH RIGHT! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!! *gets zapped by 50 bolts of lightning*

Rebecca: As I was saying… Our next guest is…ULTIMECIA?! AAAAAARRRRGGGGGGHH!!

Ultimecia: *appears out of nowhere and sits down* I am happy to be on the show. I will now steal your powers and--- *gets cut off by the large meteor that rams into her, crushing her between the stage and the meteor*

Rebecca: I hate that woman -_-

Voice: Uh, hello? Am I too late?

Rebecca: Ah good! You're here! Ladies and gentleman, allow me to introduce to you, from the world Thimballen, Gwendolyn.

Gwendolyn: *is a pretty woman with long blonde hair and blue eyes wearing a blue dress* It's a pleasure to be here, Rebecca.

Rebecca: It's a pleasure to have you here, Gwen. How go the dead?

Gwendolyn: Well, a spirit told me the other day that your husband will—

Tempest: REBECCA! WHY ARE YOU HIDING PEANUTS IN THE ARM OF MY GUNDAM?!

Gwendolyn: --never mind. I was going to say that he found your secret stash of chocolate-covered peanuts ^_^

Rebecca: Uh…hehehe…. So! Gwen, why did you hardly appear sane in the Darksword Trilogy?

Gwen: What are you talking about? I appeared in quite a few chapters of the last two books sane. I was sane when I met Joram and I was sane when I walked into the Beyond—

Tempest: --but you were insane when you came out and started talking to the dead. Only in the last two chapters of the last book were you sane!

Gwen: -_- I hate you both. *literally disappears into thin air*

Rebecca and Tempest: *grin smugly*

Tempest: And now for another commercial break!

COMMERCIAL#3:

Announcer: I am not doing this commercial. It will get me fireballed many, many times. *gets Dragon Slaved*

Rebecca: Was that better?

Announcer: @_@ Never mind…

BACK TO OUR SHOW!

Tempest: Welcome back to the show! Our last guest for today is Zidane Tribal from the planet Gaia in FF9!

Zidane: *walks on stage and eyes Rebecca* Hmm…sexy queen…

Tempest; If you so much as look at my wife again I will rip that tail off and shove it up your ass and then down your throat many, many times -_-

Zidane: O.o *frantic nod*

Tempest: Good ^_^ So Zidane, is Kuja really gay?

Zidane: Why are you asking me? I didn't have a threesome with Kuja and…uh oh… Uh…

Tempest:  BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!

Zidane: O.o I'm outta here! *runs out*

Rebecca: …That ends today's show, I guess…

A/N: Do ya want more??