Consequences, Choices, and Confessions
by pari106

Disclaimer…etc., on Chapter 1.

Chapter 11

Max awoke in the morning, well rested. The first rays of dawn were sneaking through the window. She
smiled happily. The bed was soft and comfortable. The room was…homey, she supposed is what she
would call it. It was Zane's guestroom, and the only room in the house she had seen that wasn't a total
mess.

Reluctantly, Max rose, throwing back the quilts on the bed. She'd slept in her clothes, and the temptation
of a nice, warm shower loomed, invitingly, before her. But there were other things she had to see to first.

With a frown, Max ruffled through her pack and pulled out a fresh outfit, changing quickly.

Zack. She'd dreamed about him last night. The kind of dreams usually reserved for her heat cycles. It was
embarrassing. And confusing, as so much else at the moment. Yesterday, Max had been certain Zack had
decided to reject the baby and send both it and her packing. But then he'd taken her here instead of to
Seattle. He'd brought her to see Zane. And he'd asked to be the one to tell their bother about the child.
Did that mean he'd changed his mind? Was he willing to accept the baby? Did that mean he was willing
to consider having a family? A real family – her, Zack, and the baby – living together?

Max didn't know. But she was going to find out.



**** ****



When Max finally came downstairs, she found Zane on the front porch. He was in the same pair of faded
jeans and a sweatshirt. Max smiled affectionately. It was good to see him still there; as if she'd feared last
night was just a dream. She'd wondered sometimes, despite the quid pro quo she'd struck up with Logan,
despite having found Zack, if she'd ever really get to see the others again. Now she'd gotten to see Zane.
It was wonderful.

Zane was sitting on the porch swing, watching Fluffy…God, that name!…run around the property, chasing
squirrels or something. Max sat down beside him, and Zane turned to smile at her as she did.

"Hey! Morning, sis," he told her, with a brotherly peck on the cheek.

"Hey," she replied.

She really liked Zane. He'd always been so friendly and charming. He still was. It was odd that he was so
much like Zack. Zack was so reserved and careful. Zane was extroverted and spontaneous. He and Zack
looked very much alike, and Zane was the oldest next to their big brother.

Max shook her head, as they both turned back to watching the dog play. She really was hopeless. Mere
moments, and her thoughts had already returned to Zack again.

Zane, as if sensing her thoughts, gave her a look.

"He's out back in the barn," he told her, making her turn to him in surprise.

"What?"

Zane grinned.

"I see right through you, baby sister," he told her.

Max had to smile.

"It's really good to be here," she told him.

Zane tugged a lock of her hair, playfully.

"Ditto. It's good to see you. Hope you don't plan on making this a one-time thing."

Max shook her head. "Definitely not."

Regardless of what happened between her and Zack she was going to see Zane again. She knew where he
lived now, and she would tell Zane how to get to her in Seattle. They couldn't just disappear out of one
another's lives again, now that they'd just found one another again. Surely Zack would be okay with it. He
was the one who'd brought her here, after all.

Still, the thought of Zack made Max's eyes darken.

"I don't know how Zack's gonna feel about it, though," she admitted.

Zane just looked at her. Max thought it was odd, the way he was looking at her – as if he knew something
she didn't. Then he just turned back to watching his pet.

"Guess you need to talk to him about that, huh?" was all he said, in an odd kind of tone.

So Max headed for the barn.



**** ****



When Max entered the barn, she saw Zack on the opposite end of it. He was leaning against the bottom
half of the door, which was closed, staring out at something. She could see that he'd recognized her
presence by the slight tensing in his shoulders, even from all the way across the barn. Still, she took her
time walking over to him. When she was beside him, she saw what he'd been staring at.

Max smiled. "Zane didn't tell me he had horses."

Zack turned to her and smiled. She realized they were just making polite conservation, but that was okay.

"They're not really his," Zack told her. The last people that owned this place left them." Zack shook his
head and kind of laughed. "Zane doesn't know shit about horses. He couldn't ride one if his life depended
on it. But he can't get rid of them. They're too wild. Guess that's why they got left."

Max looked out at them, and laughed, too. She remembered Zane used to always have that knack for
attracting animal life. Whether he wanted it or not. They'd be out in the woods on training exercises, and
for most of them, it was like they were the only living things within miles. But whenever Zane was near,
the wood creatures would come out in droves. It would drive him crazy, and Max knew it was because
he'd wanted so badly to explore them more. He'd wanted a pet. But if Manticore had ever known they'd
probably have had the woods exterminated. Zane had had to kick the animals out of his way and go on
with the exercise so that his commanding officers wouldn't know what was up.

But, standing there next to Zack, it wasn't long before Max came out of her reverie and back to the issue at
hand. She watched his profile for a moment, knowing he was probably noticing this, but not turning away.
Again, she was struck by how perfect his features were. It wasn't something Zack paid any attention to,
which is probably what made him all that more attractive. And they were all designed to be beautiful, so it
wasn't as if any one of them could claim the praise for their physical attributes. It's just that Zack was such
a contradiction; more so than any of the X5s. He was so beautiful. But there was such darkness in his
eyes. He'd seen and done too much. Still, underneath that, Max thought Zack was every bit as wonderful
as his physical appearance. He'd just never gotten the chance to show that side of himself.

Finally, when Zack realized Max was still watching him, he turned, and their eyes met. It was like an
electrical charge went right through them, freezing them in place, trapped in each other's eyes.

Zack, too, was taken by the beauty of the person he loved. If he'd known Max's thoughts, he might not
have agreed with her conclusions about him. He had much less faith in his own humanity. But he put all
his faith in Max's. She truly was beautiful, inside in out, if he'd ever been sentimental enough to think so.
She was physically perfect, but she was also compassionate and selfless and brave. Of course, all of this
went without saying to Zack. Anyone could look at her and see how beautiful she was. Anyone could get
to know her and see what a good person she was. Despite, or maybe even because of her upbringing. But
just then, looking into Max's eyes, Zack was overcome by the surprising need to speak the unspoken. To
tell her how beautiful she was. Then to tell her how he loved her.

So that's what he began to do.

"You really are beautiful, you know that Maxie?" he said quietly. Then he reached up and cupped her
cheek in the palm of his hand.

Max's eyes widened. Max had never heard Zack talk like that in her entire life. And she'd dreamed, for so
long, of him doing exactly that, that at first she wasn't sure she heard him right.

"What?"

Zack laughed. And he smiled – really smiled. One of those rare Zack smiles that came so unexpectedly.

"Can't take a compliment, soldier?" he asked.

Slowly, Max began to smile, too.

"Zack?"

She couldn't believe this was happening.

Neither could Zack. It seemed all too easy. But then, it would also be all to easy to just end this
conversation and kiss her. To convince her to stay in a way that didn't require words. But they'd already
tried that route once before; they'd tried to express their emotions through making love. It had been
wonderful, but it hadn't been enough to appease their uncertain natures. Zack didn't want to make that
same mistake again. He wanted Max. But he wanted to resolve this situation first. He wanted it to be
clear, when they made love again, that love was the operative word there. There wouldn't be any fear, any
running away, this morning after.

So he stepped back, reluctantly tucking his hands in his pockets.

Max recognized his actions for what they were, and she, too, took a step back.

So this was it. The big talk. No use procrastinating.

Max charged right ahead.

"What did you mean?" she asked.

Zack blinked.

"What?"

Max shook her head, then clarified. "Last night. You said we'd stay here last night, and then today…"

Zack saw where she was going. "Today we talk," he told her.

It was a simple answer, but it was the one Max had been looking for.

"You're not taking me back to Seattle?" She saw something flash through Zack's eyes at the mention, and
his jaw tightened. But only for a moment, then it was gone.

"Do you want to go back to Seattle?" he asked, deceptively neutral.

Max looked at him. Okay, she hadn't imagined it. That was worry that had flashed through Zack's eyes.
It was there again. He was worried she would take him up on his offer and ask to go back. He hadn't
really wanted to send her away all along.

Max took a step back to Zack. Then she shook her head. "No, Zack. I don't want to go."

Zack released a breath he hadn't known he'd been holding.

"So, what's next?" Max asked then. Her throat felt so dry. Had she been right this morning? Had Zack
reconsidered? Did he want her and the baby – really want them?

Zack paused. Steeled himself. "Now…we go back to Seattle," he told her. Surprise leapt into Max's eyes,
and Zack continued before she could get the wrong idea. "You and me. For good."

There was silence. Max just stared at him. Was Zack saying…

"Zack…"

"It all started because of Tinga…nevermind that," Zack started talking before Max could say anything.
Damn it, he wasn't good at this shit, and he was going to get it out of the way before Max started making
her decision. "The point is, I know you wouldn't want to live the way I do, Max. Always running, always
keeping one step ahead of the enemy. Escape and evade. And you don't have to. Tinga made me think
maybe…maybe I don't have to either. I'm willing to try. To try it your way. Friends, a place to belong,
the whole thing. In Seattle. You won't have to give up your job or Original Cindy or anything."

Max blinked. Oh, my God! In one, long rush, Zack had just offered her a future she'd never even dared to
think about. Could she have Zack and stay in Seattle, too? Could he settle down in one place? She
wouldn't have to choose between him and stability; she wouldn't have to wonder, every time he stepped
out the door, if he was coming back.

"I can't believe this is happening…" Max said aloud, but she said it with a dawning smile.

Zack smiled, too.

"Believe it, Maxie," he told her, reaching out to take her face in both his hands. "I want to be with you."
Then, with a gesture that was so uncharacteristically gentle, and so endearing in its awkwardness, Zack
reached tentatively out to lay a hand across Max's not-yet-rounded stomach. "And the baby."

Max's eyes brimmed at it all. But she could help asking "Why?"

Zack's smile turned ironic. It was funny she thought she had to ask. To him, it had been as if he'd been
wearing his heart on his sleeve ever since they'd met.

"Why? Because I love you, Max." Max felt a charge run through her at the words. He'd never spoken
them before. She'd felt loved by Zack by his actions; by the way he'd made love to her that one night; and
by the gentleness he'd shown her these last couple of days. But he'd never actually said that he loved her.
Until now. "I always have," he continued, softer now. "I came to Seattle two months ago to tell you."

Max's eyes darkened at this revelation. She'd wondered, after he'd left, why he'd come in the first place.
So much happened during his brief stay that she'd never gotten the chance to ask his reasons. Then,
afterwards, the thought that he might have come just to see her, and that he had left only because of her
clumsy, frightened reaction that morning, was just too awful to entertain. Now she knew she'd been right.

"I'm sorry, Zack," she said. "I'm sorry I ran away that morning." There was almost a pleading note to her
voice. She wished she could tell him how sorry she was. "Everything had changed so fast…I was
just…scared, I guess…"

Zack brushed away a tear that had fallen down Max's cheek.

"I know," he told her.

"I love you, too, Zack."

There they were – those words once spoken, now repeated in daylight. The words Max had spoken to Zack
that night they'd spent together. Zack's eyes closed a moment.

"Max…you don't have to…"

"But I do, Zack," Max insisted. She knew it would be hard for him to believe it, after all that had happened
between them in the past. But she knew she'd never love anyone as much as she realized she loved Zack.
"I love you," she repeated. "Maybe I always did. I just didn't realize it till you left for Canada with
Tinga."

Zack looked up at her in surprise. Even then? She'd loved him even then?

"Max…"

"I should have stayed with you that morning," Max said.

Zack shrugged. There was a lot of "should have"s in their past. "I shouldn't have left. But I was scared,
too, Max."

Max's eyes widened. Then she gave him a crooked smile, as well. Zack, mighty CO, admitting he was
scared?

"I can't believe I'm hearing this." How many times was he gonna make her say that in one conversation?

Zack caught the teasing tone in her voice.

"Don't have a lot of faith these days, do you, Maxie?" he teased, as well.

But then Max grew serious.

"Oh, I've got faith. In you. I just…when I told you, at the motel…"

"Max…"

"It's okay," Max told him, meaning it. "You were surprised. Believe me," she stressed, thinking about
those sixteen pregnancy tests, "…I know the feeling. But I…I thought you didn't want to accept us. The
baby. And me. I thought you asked about me going back to Seattle because you didn't want us going with
you."

Zack shook his head.

"I've always wanted you, Max. And I…"

Zack glanced down at the hand still resting on Max's stomach. All the concerns and uncertainties he'd
entertained before came back to him. But so did the determination to do this thing the right way.

"I…love the baby," he finally said, almost as if he didn't realize he was saying it aloud.

Max looked at him, speechless with shock.

Then Zack looked away uncomfortably, with a sheepish grin. If Max didn't know better, she'd have sworn
that was a blush…

"Well, I want to. Give me a little time. I'm new at this, okay?"

Max laughed. God, she loved him.

"Okay."

Then Zack turned back to her. They were standing practically in one another's arms, and their eyes were
locked. There was just one thing else. One more matter Zack had to resolve. It probably wasn't the time.
But the question had burned on his brain ever since their trip over here last night, and couldn't be contained
any longer.

"Max…"

Sensing the change in tone, Max frowned.

"Yeah, Zack?"

"I just gotta ask…don't get upset, okay?"

"Uh…okay."

"The baby…" Zack took a deep breath. He convinced himself that he was prepared for whatever answer
she gave him, though the pang he felt gazing at her told him he knew which answer he'd prefer. "Am I…I
mean, is it…who…"

Zack stumbled over his words for a minute, then cussed.

Max raised an eyebrow.

"Zack, what are you trying to ask?"

Okay, fine. Better to just come out and say it.

"Max…who's the baby's father?"