The Truth About Pies
It was a normal day at a school in some part of the USA, well, as normal as it could get with two teachers who were between visits to the insane asylum, three crazy people and another crazy person that now goes to a different school, but got confused and came here instead.
"Hey, shut you're trap! They aren't supposed to know that those stupid kids get us locked up all the time!" Ms. Jensen hissed.
"Well, I happen to like the jackets that those nice men in white coats give us, they are so in style! Plus, I like to hug myself!" Mr. Debreceni yelled.
Right..... like I was saying-
"What part of shut up- don't you understand?!?!?" Ms. J yelled.
"Maybe the shut part?" Mr. D suggested.
"Whose side are you on, buddy?!?!"
"The losing side!" Mr. D yelled triumphantly.
Ms. J lunged at him, and soon hair and pink lace were flying everywhere!
A door suddenly swang open.
"Mwahahhahahahahaah!!! Obey us mere mortals!" a pastry with an eye patch yelled.
"NOOOOOO!!! We'll never give up!!!" Ms. J yelled, "Mr. D- we must think of something!"
Mr. D threw his hands up, "I give up!"
The pastry grinned evilly, "Tell his majesty that we have the first two rooks."
"You mean pawns?" a muffin asked.
"I KNOW WHAT I MEAN!!!!!" it yelled.
MEANWHILE.......
"Kyr, why.... well, why?" Sage of Zelda 64 asked.
"BORING!!! No craziness there!!!" Kyr answered.
"Dum duh duh duh yah na na na- HEEEY MACARONI!" Madame Zola sang, doing the macarena.
"Run for Cover!!!" Sage yelled, tackling Madame Zola.
"Why did you do that?" MalonHunter asked.
Sage looked up nervously, " After those noodles tried to take over the world, I'm still a little jumpy..."
"A little?" Madame Zola asked, her voice muffled because it was implanted in the ground.
Suddenly, a pie-meteor hit the ground, revealing a message.
"MMMM- Apple!" MalonHunter said, tasting the pie.
"Obey me mortals!" the message started, "P.S- the pie is poison."
Everyone looked at MalonHunter, who just ate some more.
"If I have to die, I'm gonna die hard!" she yelled.
"Ohhhh, like the parachute-less skydiving thing?" Madame Zola asked.
"Mph-Hm," MalonHunter muttered through a handfull of apple pie.
PoP! - oh noooooooo!!!
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Not here- anywhere but here!" Link screamed.
"Yes here, where else?" Kyr asked.
"Timbuktu? China? Spain? The Moon? Anywhere but the US!!!" he cried.
"DIE!" a chocolate muffin yelled as he shot chocolate chips at Link.
MalonHunter and Kyr looked at each other in surprise, then shouted, "FUDGE MUFFINS!!"
BANG!!! A chocolate chip ran strait through Link.
"............" Sage passed out.
"What's wrong with her? It's just a little blood..." Charlie said, walking up.
"The PoP master strikes again..." MalonHunter moaned.
PoP - Link- well, what was left of him, disappeared.
"Salt and Vinegar, Salt and Vinegar!" Kyr yelled.
"NO! I am Colonel Custard! Resistance in futile!" the pastry with the eye patch said.
"REALLY?!?! Then why am I not DEAD?!?!" MalonHunter yelled.
"Why- why aren't you dead....- Commander Crabcake, explain why she isn't dead!"
"Erm, well, the immune system of... well, in truth, I really don't know..." the crabcake stuttered.
"IMBECILE!!!" Colonel Custard yelled, setting the crabcake on fire.
"French Toast!!" Kyr yelled.
"Why is it, that people always appear out of nowhere in your stories?" Madame Zola asked MalonHunter
"I'm just lucky, I guess..." MalonHunter said, looking around, "Dagnabit... no dragon, or hairy spider, or....."
"What do you- RUN!" Sage yelled.
Soapy frying pans went flying towards the pastries, killing quite a few.
"Hmmmm, my aim appears to be a little off...." Numair said.
"FISH!!!" Sage and MalonHunter yelled in unision, laughing their heads off.
"What? Where?" Kyr asked, "Where Sushi?!?!?"
"Oh NO....." Charlie muttered.
"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! To many people- can't think!" Madame Zola cried.
PoP - all the 'extras' disappeared.
"Hey where'd everyone go?!?!" Madame Zola asked.
"Forget them, where'd MalonHunter go?" Sage asked.
"Mwahahha! The pie sent your little friend into oblivion!" Colonel Custard yelled, running off.
"Is oblivion in the Middle East?" Kyr asked.
"Shut up!!! We gotta find MalonHunter!" Sage yelled.
"How, I mean if she is in oblivion... wherever and whatever that is...." Robin muttered.
"Eat Apple Pie!" Kyr yelled, scooping some in her mouth.
Sage and Madame Zola did the same and-
PoP - they were gone.
MEANWHILE.......
Thud! MalonHunter hit a brick wall, or was it a floor?
"Where in the name of Nefertiti's sandals, am I?!?!" she yelled, standing up.
"Why are you asking me?" Charlie yelled.
"Cause your the only one to yell at!"
"Well, if YOU wouldn't write these RETARDED stories!!!"
"Don't hurt me!!! I'm just an innocent bystander!!!" Rauru whimpered.
"I won't if you tell me where I am!" MalonHunter yelled.
"I don't know! Ever since that dragon tossed me, then- PoP - I came here, and it's scary here!!! HELP ME!!!!!" Rauru sobbed, wrapping his arms around Charlie's shoes.
"Er- right, is anyone else here?" Charlie asked.
"I am...." Numair said.
"Whoa, if you jump off a cliff, whack a big spider and- well, I'm outta here!" MalonHunter yelled, backing up slowly.
"Anyone else?" Charlie asked., rolling his eyes
"YES!!! And it is about time you got here! Do you realize what I've had to deal with?!? I'll never get all the dirt out from under my fingernails!" Zelda yelled, coming around a tree.
"Wonderful, anyone else? A talking elephant maybe? A constapated cow?" MalonHunter muttered.
"Hey, it could be worse..." Charlie said.
"Worse?!?!? We've got the Fish, the Elton John wannabe, the prissy spoiled brat, me, and you!" she yelled.
"What has fish got to do with anything?" Numair asked.
"Everything!" MalonHunter muttered.
"Right, well, maybe we will get rescued," Numair said hopefully.
"By who?!?!?" Charlie and MalonHunter yelled.
"ERRRRRRRR. Nevermind then....."
MEANWHILE....
Sage, Kyr and Madame Zola landed in a grassy field, miles from anywhere and everywhere.
"Eat the pie! What a great idea!!!" Sage yelled, "Now how do we get out?!?!"
"Will we get out?" Madame Zola asked.
WILL THEY GET OUT?
STAY TUNED UNTIL NEXT TIME....
Authors note- ahhhh boredom...... just r/r, even if you didn't like it, i need a laugh........ oh, and i don't own numair, any zelda characters or charlie (from harry potter)- everyone else belongs to themselves..... or the loony bin....... these days, i can't tell......
It was a normal day at a school in some part of the USA, well, as normal as it could get with two teachers who were between visits to the insane asylum, three crazy people and another crazy person that now goes to a different school, but got confused and came here instead.
"Hey, shut you're trap! They aren't supposed to know that those stupid kids get us locked up all the time!" Ms. Jensen hissed.
"Well, I happen to like the jackets that those nice men in white coats give us, they are so in style! Plus, I like to hug myself!" Mr. Debreceni yelled.
Right..... like I was saying-
"What part of shut up- don't you understand?!?!?" Ms. J yelled.
"Maybe the shut part?" Mr. D suggested.
"Whose side are you on, buddy?!?!"
"The losing side!" Mr. D yelled triumphantly.
Ms. J lunged at him, and soon hair and pink lace were flying everywhere!
A door suddenly swang open.
"Mwahahhahahahahaah!!! Obey us mere mortals!" a pastry with an eye patch yelled.
"NOOOOOO!!! We'll never give up!!!" Ms. J yelled, "Mr. D- we must think of something!"
Mr. D threw his hands up, "I give up!"
The pastry grinned evilly, "Tell his majesty that we have the first two rooks."
"You mean pawns?" a muffin asked.
"I KNOW WHAT I MEAN!!!!!" it yelled.
MEANWHILE.......
"Kyr, why.... well, why?" Sage of Zelda 64 asked.
"BORING!!! No craziness there!!!" Kyr answered.
"Dum duh duh duh yah na na na- HEEEY MACARONI!" Madame Zola sang, doing the macarena.
"Run for Cover!!!" Sage yelled, tackling Madame Zola.
"Why did you do that?" MalonHunter asked.
Sage looked up nervously, " After those noodles tried to take over the world, I'm still a little jumpy..."
"A little?" Madame Zola asked, her voice muffled because it was implanted in the ground.
Suddenly, a pie-meteor hit the ground, revealing a message.
"MMMM- Apple!" MalonHunter said, tasting the pie.
"Obey me mortals!" the message started, "P.S- the pie is poison."
Everyone looked at MalonHunter, who just ate some more.
"If I have to die, I'm gonna die hard!" she yelled.
"Ohhhh, like the parachute-less skydiving thing?" Madame Zola asked.
"Mph-Hm," MalonHunter muttered through a handfull of apple pie.
PoP! - oh noooooooo!!!
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Not here- anywhere but here!" Link screamed.
"Yes here, where else?" Kyr asked.
"Timbuktu? China? Spain? The Moon? Anywhere but the US!!!" he cried.
"DIE!" a chocolate muffin yelled as he shot chocolate chips at Link.
MalonHunter and Kyr looked at each other in surprise, then shouted, "FUDGE MUFFINS!!"
BANG!!! A chocolate chip ran strait through Link.
"............" Sage passed out.
"What's wrong with her? It's just a little blood..." Charlie said, walking up.
"The PoP master strikes again..." MalonHunter moaned.
PoP - Link- well, what was left of him, disappeared.
"Salt and Vinegar, Salt and Vinegar!" Kyr yelled.
"NO! I am Colonel Custard! Resistance in futile!" the pastry with the eye patch said.
"REALLY?!?! Then why am I not DEAD?!?!" MalonHunter yelled.
"Why- why aren't you dead....- Commander Crabcake, explain why she isn't dead!"
"Erm, well, the immune system of... well, in truth, I really don't know..." the crabcake stuttered.
"IMBECILE!!!" Colonel Custard yelled, setting the crabcake on fire.
"French Toast!!" Kyr yelled.
"Why is it, that people always appear out of nowhere in your stories?" Madame Zola asked MalonHunter
"I'm just lucky, I guess..." MalonHunter said, looking around, "Dagnabit... no dragon, or hairy spider, or....."
"What do you- RUN!" Sage yelled.
Soapy frying pans went flying towards the pastries, killing quite a few.
"Hmmmm, my aim appears to be a little off...." Numair said.
"FISH!!!" Sage and MalonHunter yelled in unision, laughing their heads off.
"What? Where?" Kyr asked, "Where Sushi?!?!?"
"Oh NO....." Charlie muttered.
"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! To many people- can't think!" Madame Zola cried.
PoP - all the 'extras' disappeared.
"Hey where'd everyone go?!?!" Madame Zola asked.
"Forget them, where'd MalonHunter go?" Sage asked.
"Mwahahha! The pie sent your little friend into oblivion!" Colonel Custard yelled, running off.
"Is oblivion in the Middle East?" Kyr asked.
"Shut up!!! We gotta find MalonHunter!" Sage yelled.
"How, I mean if she is in oblivion... wherever and whatever that is...." Robin muttered.
"Eat Apple Pie!" Kyr yelled, scooping some in her mouth.
Sage and Madame Zola did the same and-
PoP - they were gone.
MEANWHILE.......
Thud! MalonHunter hit a brick wall, or was it a floor?
"Where in the name of Nefertiti's sandals, am I?!?!" she yelled, standing up.
"Why are you asking me?" Charlie yelled.
"Cause your the only one to yell at!"
"Well, if YOU wouldn't write these RETARDED stories!!!"
"Don't hurt me!!! I'm just an innocent bystander!!!" Rauru whimpered.
"I won't if you tell me where I am!" MalonHunter yelled.
"I don't know! Ever since that dragon tossed me, then- PoP - I came here, and it's scary here!!! HELP ME!!!!!" Rauru sobbed, wrapping his arms around Charlie's shoes.
"Er- right, is anyone else here?" Charlie asked.
"I am...." Numair said.
"Whoa, if you jump off a cliff, whack a big spider and- well, I'm outta here!" MalonHunter yelled, backing up slowly.
"Anyone else?" Charlie asked., rolling his eyes
"YES!!! And it is about time you got here! Do you realize what I've had to deal with?!? I'll never get all the dirt out from under my fingernails!" Zelda yelled, coming around a tree.
"Wonderful, anyone else? A talking elephant maybe? A constapated cow?" MalonHunter muttered.
"Hey, it could be worse..." Charlie said.
"Worse?!?!? We've got the Fish, the Elton John wannabe, the prissy spoiled brat, me, and you!" she yelled.
"What has fish got to do with anything?" Numair asked.
"Everything!" MalonHunter muttered.
"Right, well, maybe we will get rescued," Numair said hopefully.
"By who?!?!?" Charlie and MalonHunter yelled.
"ERRRRRRRR. Nevermind then....."
MEANWHILE....
Sage, Kyr and Madame Zola landed in a grassy field, miles from anywhere and everywhere.
"Eat the pie! What a great idea!!!" Sage yelled, "Now how do we get out?!?!"
"Will we get out?" Madame Zola asked.
WILL THEY GET OUT?
STAY TUNED UNTIL NEXT TIME....
Authors note- ahhhh boredom...... just r/r, even if you didn't like it, i need a laugh........ oh, and i don't own numair, any zelda characters or charlie (from harry potter)- everyone else belongs to themselves..... or the loony bin....... these days, i can't tell......
