by NightsDawne
[Still miserably flu-y, but I hate laying around. Let me know in review if I'm under the influence of meds and need to revise.]
Chapter 7: Accident Prone
Irvine made his way back into Squall's room after receiving the all-clear from Dr. Narachi. "Heya buddy."
"I don't want to hear it, Irvine." Squall flipped through several soap operas on the tv.
"...All I said was 'heya'." Irvine dropped into a chair clumsily, knocking over the bedside table with his cast and a crutch. "Oops. I'll get it." He struggled to get up again, hopping to the side to avoid the overturned table and bumping a flower arrangement on the windowsill with his hip. It tipped over, sending the two next to it to the floor in a domino effect.
"Just.. sit down, will you?" Squall held his hand up to ward off Irvine's dangerous presence from entering his personal space. "You're worse than Selphie would be with those things."
Irvine sheepishly collapsed back into the chair. "It's harder than it looks, y'know. Nice flowers."
"Whatever. Not really my thing." Squall adjusted his pillows and leaned back against them.
"Um... " Irvine chewed on his lip. "Look, Rinny's gonna ask Laguna if he wants ta take a blood test. So you can prove Sis was wrong."
"Yeah?" Squall sat up again. "Then I can get it over with and forget this whole thing."
"You betcha." Irvine grinned. "Unless, of course, it comes back with a match."
"It won't."
"What if it does, Squall?" Irvine sighed as Squall clenched his jaw. "Will ya just consider the possibility? In completely hypothetical terms if ya want."
Squall frowned. "Hypothetically, if he were my father, which he isn't, I don't see what difference it would make. I'm eighteen."
"Well, I don't get the idea that Laguna's gonna insist ya join little league so he can yell at your coach or anything."
"What?" Squall eyed Irvine.
Irvine chuckled. "I mean, I think he knows you're a man, not a kid. He wouldn't treat ya like one."
"So then what's the point?"
Irvine shrugged. "I dunno. Be friends? Have someone ta send a father's day card to? Learn the family's top secret barbeque sauce recipe?"
Squall furrowed his brow. "I don't cook."
"It's a Galbadian thing. Gotta hand down the recipe from father ta son... oh, nevermind, Squall. What about just bein' friends?"
"...Galbadians hand down barbeque recipes?"
Irvine waved his hand. "Will ya forget about the barbeque thing?"
"You brought it up. You throw something completely wierd like that at me and expect me to just forget it?"
"Squall, focus!" Irvine took a deep breath. "Why don't ya just think about bein' friends with Laguna?"
"Because he's an airhead." Squall leaned back, making another round of the daytime dramas and talk shows.
"So am I, and we're friends."
Squall glanced at Irvine from the side. "I never called you an airhead."
Irvine chuckled. "Not ta my face, but you forget 'bout my incredible mind reading powers."
Squall sighed. "You're different."
"Oh yeah? Why?"
Squall frowned, not replying for a bit as he tried to think of an answer that would finalize the discussion. ".. You listen. All he does is talk. Way too much."
"Would save you the trouble of openin' your mouth a lot." Irvine scratched his toes with the tip of a crutch. "You ever listen ta the stuff he says?"
"I spent an entire night listening to him yak like an idiot to Julia when I was stuck in his brain."
Irvine raised a brow. "She got a major hit song out of listenin' to him for one night. Were ya listenin' or did ya just hear him?"
"I tuned it out for sanity's sake by the time he got to his adolescence. His childhood was bad enough."
Irvine blinked. "Laguna had a bad childhood?"
"No, a boring one. His parents had a chocobo farm. You have no idea how he can drone on about molting."
Irvine snickered. "Well, he was probably pretty damn nervous that night. Y'know, most of the time, he's damn funny. And cool. Real friendly, not at all stuck up."
"In other words, nothing like me?" Squall crossed his arms, eyes narrowing.
"Never said that. I'm just sayin' he's fun ta be around. Ya might like him if ya just give him a chance."
"Like you'd like your father if you gave him a chance."
Irvine frowned. "We're talkin' 'bout you and Laguna."
"Laguna's not my father. But what about you and Cid, anyway? Are you going to be friends with him?" Squall fastened his grey eyes on Irvine's violet ones.
Irvine dropped his eyes. "...I dunno. He didn't want me."
"Have you asked him why not?"
Irvine shook his head. "I ain't really been dyin' ta talk to him."
Squall smirked softly. "But you want me to get buddy-buddy with Laguna. Hypothetically."
Irvine chewed on his lip, then looked up with a slight grin. "Make ya a deal. If the test comes back with a match, I'll talk ta Cid if you'll talk ta Laguna. Okay?"
"That's letting you off completely because the test won't come back with a match."
"Do we have a deal or not?" Irvine held his hand out.
Squall looked down at the hand, then back up at his best friend. He sighed and looked away, giving Irvine's hand a shake. "Deal. For whatever it's worth."
Laguna looked down at the needle in his arm, blood filling a lab tube. "How long is this going to take?"
The phlebotomist popped the lab tube off and slid the needle out, bandaging the spot where it had been. "Done already, Mr. President."
"Huh?" Laguna blinked. "Oh, I meant the test itself."
The girl adjusted her glasses before starting to label the vial. "Oh, that. Usually about two days."
Laguna nodded, standing and rolling down his sleeve. "Great, thanks. Don't I get a sticker?"
"Sure, help yourself."
Laguna grinned, tearing off a sticker from the roll on the workstation. "Cool, Scooby Doo. Thanks, bye!" He turned and walked out, peeling the sticker off and smacking it proudly to his sleeve. Two more days and Squall's denial would be over. Not that Laguna was at all sure that would solve the problem.
Squall had never been overly enthusiastic about him, of course. He hadn't even been sure for a while that it was the SeeD commander who had been buried in his memories, the recurring presence in his past that he and his two friends Kiros and Ward had referred to as 'the faeries', not knowing at the time that they were young people from the future. Kiros had recognized Irvine immediately, even though he had never seen him. It was as if the two had developed a kinship, a bond from their time sharing Kiros's life, but Squall seemed to have no such bond for Laguna. And now it seemed that the news of their relationship had only widened the distance between them.
Laguna stuck his hands in his pockets and sighed, gazing at the tile as he made his way back toward the cafeteria. Whatever decision Squall made, he was determined to respect it, but he'd never be able to turn his back on the fact that he had a son. Squall took after his mother, but he was half his father as well. There had to be some common ground between them.
Laguna reached the end of the painted green line that showed the way to the eats and looked up just in time to have the double doors of the cafeteria slam into his face. He stumbled back, putting both hands up to his nose as it started to bleed. "Ow."
"Fucking A, are you trying to kill people, babe?" A strong hand reached out to grab Laguna's arm and keep him from falling.
"Oops, sorry, I didn't know anyone would be on the other side." Bouncing brown hair and green eyes full of concern filled Laguna's field of vision. "Are you okay?"
Laguna blinked and pulled his hands down to look at the blood flowing down his wrists. "Guess if I have to have a broken nose it's a good thing I'm already in a hospital."
"OHGODIT'SSIRLAGUNA!" Selphie yanked a handkerchief out of her pocket and held it up to Laguna's face, stepping on his foot.
"Great, you're trying to kill a president." Laguna looked up to the side as he hopped back with a whimper, seeing Seifer Almasy as his supporter.
"It's okay, really, Selphie." Laguna wriggled his toes in his shoes to see if they still worked. "It was just an accident."
"I'm so so sorry. Here, let me see if it's really broken." Selphie stepped forward again.
Laguna put one hand over his face defensively and backed against the wall. "It's probably not. I'll just go to the ER."
"We'll help you!" Selphie grabbed Laguna's arm, yanking his hand away from his face painfully. "Help him, Seifer!"
Seifer sighed and put his hand under Laguna's other arm. "Why can't we just leave the man alone, babe? That would be helping him."
"Because it's Sir Laguna!" Selphie insistantly guided the president down the hall, stepping on the back of his shoe and pulling it off. Laguna stumbled and would have gone down if Seifer hadn't grabbed him again.
"Selphie, give him two feet of space for safety reasons, okay, babe?"
Laguna cringed behind Seifer as Selphie retrieved his shoe. "It's fine. Really."
Selphie held the shoe out. "I feel so bad, though. I mean, here I am, the president of your fan club and I might have ruined your beautiful profile!"
Seifer looked over his shoulder. "I can hold her down while you escape if you want."
Laguna took his shoe hesitantly. "I think my nose will be fine." He bent down to put his shoe back on, the motion putting his bad leg into a muscle cramp. He grabbed the back of his thigh with a wince, trying to stand again.
"What did I do now?!" Selphie skipped over Seifer's foot to help Laguna up.
Laguna drew back from her in alarm, tripping over his own feet to sprawl on his back on the floor. "Nothing! Leave me alone, please!"
Seifer eyed the two. "And just think, President, she's on your side."
Selphie chewed on a fingernail. "I'm really so sorry about this." Seifer reached down to help Laguna to his feet. Selphie tilted her head. "Do you think I could just get maybe an autograph?"
Seifer got Laguna situated against the wall so he could get his shoe back on safely. "Babe, you've already got a momento of the occassion, his blood all over your bandana."
"If I give you an autograph will you go away, please?" Laguna pulled his knee up and slid his shoe on, then tried to rub the cramp out.
"I can't just abandon you." Selphie looked around. "I know! I'll go get a wheelchair! Then nothing can happen to you!" She danced off before either man could protest.
Seifer sighed and looked at Laguna. "... She really likes you."
Laguna grinned reflexively. "I'm flattered... in pain, but flattered."
"She's not always this much of a klutz." Seifer shrugged. "Well, sort of, but not this dangerously."
Laguna put his foot down on the floor as he got the cramp under control. "You're Seifer Almasy." He held out his hand. "We've never actually met before, I don't think. I'm Laguna Loire."
"I know." Seifer eyed the bloody hand and cleared his throat. "Um, right. Yeah, I'm Seifer."
Laguna looked at the condition of his hand and withdrew it sheepishly, wiping it on the front of his shirt. "This is going to make a great humorous anecdote someday."
"I'd rather just forget it happened." Seifer ran his hand through his hair, looking down the hall to where Selphie was running a wheelchair towards them.
"Well, we can if you want to." Laguna furrowed his brow. "Isn't she going a little fast with that thing?"
Seifer didn't answer, shaking his head as Selphie slipped on the slick tile, losing her grip on the wheelchair. He quickly pushed Laguna out of the way as it crashed into the wall where he had been. "You okay, babe?" Seifer looked to Selphie, who was bouncing back to her feet.
"Just fine. Oh, Laguna! I almost hit you!"
Laguna stared at the wheelchair warily. "You're not going to push it with me in it, Selphie."
"I'll push." Seifer spun the chair around. "Selphie, other side of the hall."
Laguna dropped into the chair nervously. "That sounds like a safe distance." He put his hand to his nose to try to stem the flow of blood as Seifer steered him safely to the door of the emergency room. "Thanks. Really. It's been a pleasure."
"No wonder you're a politician. Lie like you mean it." Seifer pushed Laguna into the ER. "Medic!"
Dr. Galoway looked up and ran over. "What happened?"
Seifer shrugged, surrendering the president to the medical staff. "My girlfriend. Humorous anecdote. Later, President." He turned and walked out, dragging Selphie with him.
"I hope your nose is okay!" The perky brunette waved cheerfully to Laguna. "I'll have all your fan club members send emails!"
Laguna sighed in slight relief as the doors closed on Selphie. "No wonder I don't have to be afraid of her boyfriend. All he has to do is stand by and let her do the damage."
