The Pie Thickens


"Your highness, the kids have gone to oblivion. The school is ours to conquer..." Colonel Custard, bowing his head to the floor told a shadowy figure.
"Excellent! First the school then the world!" the shadowy person said.
"Why the school? It's only a- well, a school..." Custard blurted out.
"That school holds the key to world domination!!! Don't question me!"
MEANWHILE.....
MalonHunter's group was trudging through a forest, dragging a delirious Rauru between them on Numair's cloak.
"Waaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh! Ack! Elton John be praised, the wee folk stole me lucky charms!" he cried, ripping his hair out.
"Maybe if we put a cone-thing around his neck he'll stop tearing his hair out...." Charlie thought aloud.
"Hmmm, well, maybe if we leave him, we won't have to care at all!" Malonhunter retorted.
"Why does HE get to sit?!? I'm royalty here! I shouldn't have to ruin my shoes!" Zelda whined.
"Guess how much I care?!?" Malonhunter yelled.
"I'm guessing none." Charlie commented.
"Cute- REAL cute- keep complaining, girly, and I'll give you a reason to complain!" Malonhunter yelled.
"Patience is a virtue!" Numair said cheerfully.
"Then I'm not that virtuous- I'm usually a patient person, but you people just push me to this.... What I wouldn't give for a bazooka... or a pizza..." she muttered.
Suddenly, the Little Caesar's man ran through, blasting all the trees in his way.
"Why am I not surprised?" Malonhunter muttered.
MEANWHILE....
"Eat the pie- oh yeah.... Let's all just eat the pie!" Sage complained for the millionth time.
"What de....." Gambit stuttered, walking up.
"Why always these freaks?!?!?!?" Link moaned, feet dragging.
"Indeed. A fascinating concept, really..." Beast muttered to himself as he bounced up.
"Oooooh lots peoples!" Kyr yelled.
PoP- Beast disappeared as Numair appeared.
"Fish!!!" Sage yelled, laughing hysterically.
"What is this fish thing?!? I keep hearing about it, and I don't have the slightest idea as to what it means!" Numair yelled.
"What has that to do with the price of peas in Persopolis?" Sage yelled, still cracking up.
"Hey look! A forest!" Link cried.
"I wonder if there are any cliffs or really big spiders...." Sage mused aloud.
MEANWHILE....
PoP- Numair disappeared as Monkie appeared. (Monkie is a person!!!)
"Follow the red brick road, Follow!" Monkie yelled.
PoP- she was gone.
"Ok, so we don't have to worry about Fish, and Monkie left, so we don't have to worry about her, though I still do... hey... there's Sage and... and... Oh lord... why all the people?!?!" Malonhunter muttered.
"Ricky Martin be flamed, Elvis Presley's hair be laying on the freeway!" Rauru yelled.
Malonhunter suddenly booted Rauru over the head saying, "Elvis Presley died, they deep fried the king!!!"
"Where am I? Who am I- I AM MICHAEL FLATLY, LORD OF THE DANCE!!!" Rauru yelled, starting an Irish jig.
"THIS is why I say we ditch him!" Malonhunter yelled.
"I'm starting to agree....." Charlie muttered.
"YOU CAN'T DITCH HIM!!! HE'S A SAGE!!!" Zelda started yelling, "HE-"
"FINE!" Malonhunter yelled, "Ok, we won't ditch him!"
"Good!!" Zelda huffed angrily.
"We'll ditch you both!!!"
"Who?" Link asked, walking up, "OH! Good idea, let's!"
"Oh shut up, all of you!" Sage yelled, "We have to get out of here!"
"How?" Kyr asked.
"Follow the red brick road..." Malonhunter said, staring at a red brick road leading to the unknown.
"I won't ask how you know that, but since we don't have any other choices, let's go," Sage said, walking off.
"Why do I always get stuck with the worst jobs?" Malonhunter muttered to herself as she tied a dancing Rauru on a leash.
SLAM!!! A pie went hurtling at the Earth at unheard of speeds, creating a crater the size of Texas.
"Good lord...." Numair muttered.
"Oh well, let's go..." Malonhunter muttered.
"ARE YOU CRAZY?" Zelda shrieked.
"Err, yeah, so?"
"Look at what you are walking into!!" Madame Zola yelled, "You'll die!"
"That's the idea!!! I've always wondered what it is like to die..." Malonhunter yelled, walking off.
"Oh, what the heck, I die all the time!" Link muttered, following Malonhunter.
"Michael Flatly must follow the kind Chihuahua!" Rauru yelled, giving the leash to Malonhunter.
"Wait up......" Charlie muttered.
"Well, let's go, Mon ami...." Gambit said, walking in the opposite direction.
"Yeah, we'd better..." Fi-ER-Numair agreed.
Sage, Madame Zola and Zelda followed, as Kyr sat there, obviously confused.
"AAAAAAHHH!!! BRAIN OVERLOAD! WARNING- SELF-DESTRUCT IN 5-4-3-2-1-0!!!" Kyr yelled.
"C'mon Kyr," Malonhunter called.
Kyr cartwheeled to catch up, somehow not falling down once.
BANG!!! Another pie came and landed on Kyr, Rauru, Link, Charlie and Malonhunter.
"NO!!!" Zelda yelled, "Link- I never told him..."
"Wonderful.... this is turning into a soap opera... and no one really cares about Link anyway..." Madame Zola said, a little too cheerfully.
"I DO!!!" SAge yelled.
"What de...." Gambit muttered.
The place where the meteor/pie-thing had landed was glowing, and suddenly-
PoP- they returned to the real world.
"Hey... I thought they would be here already.... They can't really be dead..." Sage muttered.
"Naaaah, people in these stories die all the time... they don't stay that way..." Madame Zola yelled, suddenly dancing around.
MEANWHILE....
"Where are we?" Link asked.
They were in a dark, metal room.
"Huh? Oh... well, I would say a prison...." Malonhunter muttered, looking around.
"Wha??? I'm Britney Spears! Oops I did it again!" Rauru started singing.
"If your Britney Spears, then I'm Christina Aguilera!" Kyr yelled.
"Oh yeah?!? Then back off Barbie!" Rauru yelled.
Rauru and Kyr started fighting.
"It's times like these that I wonder if I'm awake..." Charlie muttered.
"Nooo... It's times like these that I KNOW I'm not that crazy!" Malonhunter muttered.
"If YOU are Britney Spears, then that makes ME Justin Timberlake!" Link cried.
"C'mon sweetie!" Rauru called to Link.
"Now that's just wrong!" Malonhunter moaned.
"Why do I get dragged into these things?" Charlie muttered.
"One word- DRAGONS!" Malonhunter cried, laughing evilly.
"I hate my life...."
MEANWHILE.....
"I really thought that they would be here by now..." Sage said, looking under bushes and in lockers.
"How will we ever find them?!?" Zelda whimpered, "I miss Link.
"You won't ever see them again!" a velvety voice said.
"Is that... NO- NOT-" SAge stammered.
"Yes, 'tis me, Varice!" a blonde woman cried, appearing out of nowhere, "And thanks to my dear brother, you shall never see them again!"
"You said that already..." Madame Zola muttered.
"KILL HER!" Varice ordered one of her 'thinking' pastries.
The pastry, which was a crepe, shot blindly at Madame Zola, but missed entirely and blew Zelda's head clear off.
"Ding Dong the witch is dead!" Madame Zola started singing, dancing around a fallen Zelda, "It's about time someone killed her off!!!"
"We have to rescue them!!" Sage cried.
"I'm more worried about dodging Varice, but how?" Fish muttered, trying to hide... which is pretty hard when you are THAT tall.
"Yeah... how???" Madame Zola asked.



HOW, INDEED...
FIND OUT NEXT TIME...
OR MAYBE THE TIME AFTER THAT...
OR AFTER THAT....
OR AFTER THAT....
OR....

TO BE CONTINUED......

Did you like it???? Tis boredom, my friends, plain and simple