I rescind the last decision - THIS, is the single dumbest filk in existence… and it decidedly lacks effort too!



I SAW WOLFWOOD KISSING SANTA CLAUS
(As sung by a nearsighted Milly [what, you didn't know she wore contacts?])

(Warning: if you don't know where this is going, YAOI hints ahead… [just this one…])

I saw Wolfwood kissing Santa Claus
Underneath the mistletoe last night.
He didn't see me creep
Down the stairs to have a peep;
He thought that I was tucked up
in my bedroom fast asleep.

Then, I saw Wolfwood tickle Santa Claus
Underneath his rear so snowy white; (Santa… where are your pants?)
Oh, what a laugh it would have been
If Meryl had only seen
Wolfwood kissing Santa Claus last night.

(The next morning, she wondered why Wolfwood and Vash were so hard to wake up… but they DID say something about opening presents early, so…)


~~~
And they just get worse….
~~~
Vash-san Got Run Over By A Thomas


Vash-san got run over by a Thomas
Walking home from the bar Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for me and Wolfwood, we believe.

He'd been drinkin' too much egg nog, /(and this is new how…?)/
And we'd begged him not to go.
But He'd left his "medication", /(Nick: I still say he's smokin' pot…)/
So He stumbled out the door and down the road.

When they found him Christmas mornin',
At the scene of the attack.
There were hoof prints on his forehead,
And incriminatin' Claus marks on his back.

Vash-san go run over by a thomas,
Walkin' home from the bar Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for me and Wolfwood, we believe.

Now were all so proud of Meryl,
She's been takin' this so well.
See her in there drinking her beer,
While Vash's gun she tried real hard to sell.

It's not Christmas without Vash-san.
All the group is dressed in black. /(and this is new for WOLFWOOD how…?)/
And we just can't help but wonder:
Should we open up his gifts or send them back?

Vash-san got run over by thomas,
Walkin' home from the bar Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for me and Wolfwood, we believe.

Now the goose is on the table
And the pudding made of pig. (Nick: what's that…?)
And a black and yellow candle,
That would just have matched the hair in Vash-san's wig. (He's BALD?!? O_O;;)

I've warned all my friends and neighbors.
Better watch out for yourselves."
They should never give a license,
To a man who drives a sleigh and plays with elves.

Vash-san got run over by a thomas,
Walkin' home from the bar, Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for me and Wolfwood, we believe

(Little did the group know… Meryl JUST happened to rent a Santa costume, the night before… Coincidence? Perhaps…)