Body Disclaimers, Warnings, and Pairings: Please refer to the first part.

Indigo Eyes

"Faith?" he snorted. "Faith in what? What is even left to have faith in at all?"

It was at times like these that I resented the hell out of James for leaving Harry alone. Not that it was his fault. I resented the hell out of Lord Voldemort and Wormtail and the Death Eaters for leaving Harry alone. What that boy had gone through since the time he was a year old... I almost can't bear to think of it, even now. For sixteen years the people that should have been there for him, namely myself and Remus, just couldn't be. Harry had gotten one hell of a raw deal in life. He had to bear the burden of being the Boy Who Lived, he had to go without parents or family at all, and now he had to learn to deal with losing his love. I was hoping that it wouldn't have to come down to that after all, but when dealing with a Death Eater one always had to assume the worst.

As soon as Harry had buzzed Remus I knew that something wasn't right. He had agreed only to come in an emergency, and I was panicked that an emergency was already at hand. Not even home for twenty four hours and he was already having a hard time of things. Then he appeared in the doorway. Remus had barely shut the door before he collapsed into tears. Harry had courage to be so candid in telling us exactly what was on his mind. Now he was sitting here telling us that he had no faith. That there was nothing to put faith into anymore.

"How can you be so jaded at such a young age?" I thought out loud. I instantly regretted what I said because instantly there was nothing but suppressed rage coming from Harry.

"For the last nine months I have spent every waking moment trying to keep what little faith I had intact. And then for it all to be taken away just like that? Why does that happen to everyone in my life? First my parents, then Cedric, and now Draco, too? Why? And you ask me where my faith has gone? My faith has gone where they have gone and I doubt it will return without them. Not that it matters anymore. Nothing matters anymore. All there is to life is pain and suffering. Love is just another form of pain and it causes more suffering than a thousand Voldemorts ever could. I thought that I could take away Draco's torture and all I did was make it worse," he yelled. "Being jaded is not a way I would choose to be. Unfortunately, I never had a choice in the matter. Becoming jaded is the result of having all your hopes and dreams smashed at the critical moment of formation. Whenever I thought something was going my way Voldemort has come in and destroyed it. Voldemort and his selfish actions are the reason I am so fucking jaded. Begrudge me that if you must, because frankly I don't blame you. I hate not having the initiative to trust anything. I hate feeling so fucking hollow and cold. I don't know how to turn it around and even if I did I don't know that I would because at least I know that's the one thing I can always count on," he finished, sobbing.

"There is more to life than pain, Harry, you just have to give it time," Remus said. I was too shocked to say anything. I knew where he was coming from, and I didn't blame him for feeling the way he was.

"Is that so? Give it time? How much time, Remus? Has time healed your pain? Any of it? Has time made my father's death any less painful for you?" he asked coldly. Remus was definitely taken aback. He just sat there, staring at Harry. "That's what I thought."

"Harry, there are some wounds that never heal. You just can't let yourself get caught up in the pain. If you do, you will be no better off than your parents. Or Cedric, or Draco. That is Voldemort's plan, and you simply cannot give into him. You have fought too hard for too long to throw in the towel now. And to be perfectly honest with you, the only thing that does make James's death less painful is knowing that he left something behind that might be able to pick up where he left off. He was adamantly against Voldemort from minute go. He died fighting him. You are the reason he fought so vehemently to the bitter end. He loved you more than life itself and if you give up now, you will be squashing his memory into the dirt. He is proud of you for fighting so valiantly, I know that. And so am I. If not for you, Harry, I would not be sitting here right now. None of us would. You have done great things already and there are more great things yet to come. If you truly love Draco as you say you do, you will fight for him. Please, Harry, just be patient and be strong." Wow. I seemed to have found my voice. Harry just sat there staring at me. Tears were welling up in his eyes. He turned to Remus, opened his mouth as if to speak, then closed it. He looked down at the carpet.

"What was he like?" he said in little more than a whisper.

"James? He was very like you, actually," Remus replied, a small smile appearing at the corners of his mouth. He looked at me, and I found myself returning it. Thinking about James was painful, without a doubt, but his memory made me happy.

"The best friend anyone could ever want to have. He would do anything for you...."

"Including illegally becoming an Animagus just to give you some company," Remus interrupted. We both started laughing at the recollection of James telling Remus that we had learned to transform ourselves into animals so that he wouldn't be alone.

"He was so proud of himself. He jumped around like a maniac the first time he transformed. He was screaming, 'I did it, I did it. Won't Remus be surprised?'"

"Did he really?" Remus asked.

"Of course he did. He was the one that figured out where you disappeared to all the time. He was very perceptive and he was extremely intelligent. I wish you had gotten the chance to know him, Harry," I told him. He was smiling now, too. Thank the gods.

"I will never forget the day you were born, Harry. He called us all in such a frenzy I had never seen him in. He was so proud, I thought he was going to explode. The first time I saw you he said, 'That's my son.' And then he introduced us as though we were the same age. It was, 'Harry, meet Remus, Remus, meet Harry.'"

We were now reminiscing in full force. For the next few hours we sat there telling Harry about his parents. Why I hadn't before then... There are some things that he needed to be told face to face. He listened and laughed with us. Then I realized that this was the first time anyone had talked to him about James as he was when he was happy. I'm quite sure that he knew about how James had fought Voldemort, I just never realized that he knew nothing of his father as his father. I felt very honoured to be telling Harry about his family. I felt very honoured that I was that close to his family to be able to tell him about it. My only regret was that he didn't know these things for himself. That he heard them not from his father, but his father's friends.

At some ungodly hour of the morning, we finally decided to go to bed. We were really too hoarse to go on any longer, but Harry seemed much better than when he had arrived. Remus and I tucked him into the spare bed and waited until he fell asleep before we retired to our own. We didn't have to wait long, as Harry was completely physically and emotionally exhausted. He fell asleep almost as soon as he lay down. Looking down at him, I could have been looking down at James himself. Only his eyes were different. He had Lily's eyes.

"Let's leave him be," Remus whispered, tugging at my hand. I nodded and followed him out.

"What are we going to do with him, Sirius?" he asked when we had settled down for sleep.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, he's got nowhere else to go. Do you think Dumbledore will let him stay?"

"I don't see why not. Unless he's got a better suggestion. If he does, is it okay that I fight until he agrees to let us keep him?" I asked. I didn't want to think that after sixteen years, I would be denied the right to take care of my godson. For me, he was family. The only family outside of Remus that I had left.

"You took the words right out of my mouth."

"It's settled then?"

"Yes. Go to sleep."

"Good night."

"Good night, love."

*****

I rather like it. Do you? Shall I continue?