Body Warnings and Disclaimers: please refer to the previous chapter.

But Not Evil But Estranged

Harry was here. But where was here? The infirmary. I was brought here last night. That's right. I had no real memory of it actually happening, but I seemed to know that it had. I opened my eyes and kind of shivered when I saw Harry. He looked up at me, his green eyes filled with concern. I smiled at him. He was the last person I was expecting to see, but the only one I wanted to.

"Hi," he whispered.

"Are you really here, or have I died and gone to heaven?" I replied. He looked like he needed to have his shoulders massaged. Being as I was in no position to do so at the moment, I settled for flattery.

He grinned at me. "Is there a difference?" He was being playful as well.

"Not really, now that I think about it. When did you get here?"

"Just a minute ago. I didn't wake you, did I?"

"It's probably time that I woke up, anyway." Oh, dear. "I have no idea how long I've been sleeping," I said, voicing my thoughts. I looked up at Harry again. "Do you know?"

He just sat there and stared at me for a moment before saying, "No, darling, I don't know. Quite a while, I imagine." He sounded almost apologetic.

'Wait a minute.' I smiled. That was a first. "You've never called me that before," I told him.

He blushed, realizing that that was the first time either one of us had ever used a pet name for the other. "I guess I just..." he trailed off.

"Are you apologizing?" I asked.

"No."

"Good."

"Why's that?"

"Because if you were I would have to be highly disappointed," I explained. The relief he was obviously feeling was flooding over his entire person. He was smiling genuinely now. I was so glad to see him, to say the least. There must be something somewhere that thinks I'm worth it to keep around, because it was amazing what I had just been carried away from. No one escaped the Death Eaters once they had made up their minds that you were going to die. What had happened to me was sheer miracle. Then I remembered thinking that all I wanted was to see Harry and that I just wanted to hold his hand and that was exactly what I was doing at that very moment. Yes, like I have said before, I was blessed.

Madame Pomfrey announced her arrival by throwing the curtain back. She had a goblet that undoubtedly held some kind of sleeping potion or something used to make the gashes across my body heal faster. She set in on the bedside table as she said, "Hello, there, nice to see that you've come to. I was afraid that the sleeping potion I gave you was too potent."

She gave me sleeping potion? "No, it wasn't I don't think." 'Wait a minute.' "How long have I been here?" I asked. I didn't honestly know how long I had been here. I had no sense of time since the car pulled in front of Malfoy Manor whenever it was that the train pulled in the station. I had no idea how long I had been in the dungeon before being taken out by those other people I didn't know.

She sighed. "Since about ten o'clock last night."

If I had been there since ten o'clock last night, that must mean that this was Saturday. We had gotten home at about four thirty. In that case, they must have gotten me out sometime around nine thirty, which meant that... "Five hours." I thought it out loud. I didn't really realize I had said it until I saw the looks on Madame Pomfrey and Harry's faces. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," I apologized. Then I started to talk, although I didn't really know why. "I guess it just doesn't hurt anymore." And I realized that it really didn't hurt anymore. It was in the past. "It's over, after all, right? I mean, there's no way he'll ever be able to touch me ever again, is there?" I was trying to fight off the urge to cry at the thought of ever going back, no matter how irrational the thought was.

Madame Pomfrey just smiled at me and said, "No, sweetheart, you'll never have to see him again."

I wasn't really all that sure to take her word one hundred percent. But on the other hand, I was no longer in the dungeon and I was certainly not going to go back into his care, or his lack thereof. Would I go with my mother? No, she would most likely be charged with something for not reporting Lucius's activities. She was no longer an option. It was starting to look like I had no options at all.

Madame Pomfrey gave me the goblet to drink. "The more you sleep, the less painful this will be for you, dear. Just get some rest. Harry, perhaps we best leave him," she said, motioning to Harry. He didn't move.

"NO!" I found myself shouting. "He stays." Harry was not going to go anywhere. Now that he was finally at my side, no one was going to take him away from me.

"All right, then. Just calm down, it's all right," she replied, throwing a disapproving glare over both myself and Harry.

The sleeping potion she gave me was starting to take effect. I was starting to drift off as I felt Harry's hands on my ankles. "You know, Harry, I really love you," I told him as quickly as I could as I was rapidly losing control over my mouth. Then I drifted off to sleep.

**

The sky outside was black when I woke next. I must have been asleep all day. Harry was still sitting beside me. He was beaming, truly, like someone's mum. I couldn't help but return it, Harry has one of those personalities that gives off contagious moods.

"What are you grinning about?" I asked him.

"Youwannacomehomewithme?" he said so fast, I didn't catch it.

"One more time, but slow down, please."

"Do you want to come home with me?" he repeated.

"Come home with you?" What was he getting at? How could I go home with him? He lived with the worst Muggles ever to walk the Earth, they weren't going to let Harry take me home with him.

"Yes, come home with me and stay in the same house as me and wake up with me in the morning and--"

"How? Those Muggles won't let you take me home with you."

He seemed thoughtful for a moment, his grin slightly fading. "I don't live with those Muggles anymore," he finally told me.

"What do you mean?"

"They threw me out last night after my uncle read the letter you sent."

"He read the letter I sent?"

"Yes, and he threw me out because I'm a pouf."

"What did I say in that letter?" I was rather aghast at the prospect of Harry being kicked out of his house because of something I had no recollection saying.

"Don't you know?" he asked as though I had committed some horrid faux pas.

"All I remember about that letter was that I wanted to tell you that I love you. I don't honestly remember a whole lot of what happened yesterday at all, let alone a letter I wrote when I was only half conscious," I stammered.

"No, I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I was just wondering, that's all," he apologized. "And that was one of the first things you said, actually." His grin was returning. "And I believe you repeated it several times."

"Which would be how he found out, right? In combination with a signature, I would assume?"

"Righto. But that isn't important at the moment."

"So who are you living with, then?"

"My godfather, Sirius, and Remus Lupin. Remember Lupin? He taught Defense Against the Dark Arts in our third year," he explained.

Oh, dear. He didn't like me at all. I didn't know much about Sirius, except that he had spent twelve years in Azkaban for a crime he didn't commit. I knew the man who had committed it, Peter Pettigrew. But everyone called him Wormtail. He had been at Malfoy Manor on more than one occasion for a multitude of reasons. Mostly on Voldemort's business, of course, but other was pleasure. I shuddered when I thought about him or any of the others that had come to Malfoy Manor for that particular reason.

"Are you okay, Draco?" Harry asked, snapping me out of my current train of thought.

"Yes, I was just thinking...." I trailed off. I didn't know how to explain what I was thinking. I wasn't really thinking anything specifically, just pictures and feelings were flashing through my mind. I was still fighting off the haunting images of Lucius and the other Death Eaters. I always have been, and that will probably never change.

But then there was how I was feeling in the here and now. (Or there and then, as it were.) I really didn't feel all that much about it. It was a part of my life that now seemed so distant and unreal. The aches and pains and scars on my body could have been from anything at all. It could have been a Quidditch accident for all I cared. Whatever it was that had caused it was no longer a part of my life. It wouldn't happen again, so why bother to worry about it? Lucius and the others were going to come down, and that was what was important.

The only other important thing at all was that Harry was at my side and he was going to take me home with him. Not to live with some horrible Muggles, either. Although I was extremely apprehensive about meeting Lupin as a person and not as a teacher. And Sirius as Harry's only family. 'But it is going to work out just fine,' I told myself.

"I wonder what is going to happen to my mother," I said quite suddenly, startling not only Harry, but myself as well. "She'll probably be charged with something as well, won't she? I mean for keeping Lucius's secrets and letting happen what she let happen." Tears were starting to fill my eyes. "I don't want that to happen, you know."

"I know you don't. Tell me about her," Harry whispered.

"She's really a neat lady. She only did what she did because she had to, Harry. Lucius would have had her head if she made one wrong move. And my head as well. He never gave her any keys, you know. She broke enchantments to come and see me in the dungeons. She was probably getting punished for it, now that I think about it. It's just all wrong, Harry." I was sobbing in full force now. Harry was sitting beside me, holding my hand. After a few deep breaths I calmed down enough to speak. "I'm sorry for going to pieces like that, I guess... well, we all need to cry, right?"

He kissed my forehead before responding. "I know I do my fair share." He held me for another moment until Madame Pomfrey appeared, throwing the curtain back once again.

"All right, let us look you over once more. You should be about ready to go. How do you feel, dear?"

"Stiff and sore."

"Yes, that is to be expected. You were pretty broken up when you came in here, you know? You look a million times better now, though." She stood back, smiling as though she were admiring a piece of art she had just finished working on. "Much better, my dear. Don't forget to see me before you leave, all right?"

"Of course," I said, taking a set of robes from her. She closed the curtain again and bustled off to do something else.

"Harry?"

"Yes?"

"Do you think you could help me up? I seem to be having a hard time on my own." I couldn't sit up by myself. It hurt so bad all through my back. Harry had one hand against my back, the other holding my hand. He helped me stand on my feet and really, he deserves most of the credit for getting me dressed. I was rather helpless, standing there feeling like I was breaking in a million different places all at once. At least I was strong enough to support my own weight.

"Are you going to make it all right?" he asked?

"Yes, I'm going to be fine. Just don't let me fall or anything, okay?"

He laughed. "Don't worry."

"With you around? Surely you speak of the impossible."

After a few short kisses and testing my weight on each of my legs, we set off. Madame Pomfrey gave me more potions and ointments for my joints before letting us go. I felt rather ludicrous carrying a bag full of medicines but nothing else. Again the anger at Lucius for making me so helpless was coming over me. I was going to overcome this if it was the last thing I ever did. Harry had to practically carry me down the stairs. The shame of this was only compounded when I saw that Lup- Remus and a great black dog were standing in front of the doors watching this. They were watching Harry carry me.

Remus had a smile fixed on his face. It was like a mockery of a smile. The dog sat there rather apprehensively. Harry introduced me first to Remus and then to the dog as Sirius. I didn't know that he was an Animagus. I shook his... hand, I guess, and he started to like relax, so I took that as a good sign.

The short ride was very uncomfortable. Remus was stewing very much in his own world. Harry and Sirius were just as uncomfortable because of the same thing I was. Then we reached the house and Remus quickly disappeared up the stairs. Harry and I went to the kitchen, where he put on a pot of tea.

"What was all that about?" I asked Harry after another moment of awkward silence.

"I don't really know. He seemed fine up until we came down to meet them."

"Wonderful."

He sat down next to me and Sirius came into the kitchen with us. No sooner had he sat down then Harry said, "What's wrong with him?"

"He's acting like an old man," he said quite bitterly. "I don't honestly know what's wrong with him, although I am rather put off by it, myself. Don't worry, he'll come around."

"Yeah, sure," Harry said extremely sarcastically.

"Oh, honestly. Are you really going to let his pettiness put you in such a state?" He was right of course. "That's what I thought. Now how is that tea coming along?"

"Oh, yes." Harry got it all together and rejoined us at the table. After a few moments of battling himself, Sirius got it up to have the 'talk' with us. It was really rather amusing, though I also found it quite touching. He clearly hadn't done this before, but he was putting forth great effort. My father had never done that with me. He had never influenced me in any positive way whatsoever in my entire life.

"Do you have any kids of your own?" I asked suddenly. I didn't really mean to, it just sort of slipped out.

He didn't seem offended as when he replied, his tone was light. "No, I don't"

"Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you did." I found myself saying very truthfully.

"Why's that?" he asked, genuine curiosity in his voice.

"Because you act like you know what you're doing a lot better than my father does," I said as I looked down at the floor. I was feeling like I was overstepping boundaries, so I kind of added on, "Then again, the only thing he ever did well was working for the Dark Lord. Fitting, isn't it?"

Harry snorted in response and obviously alarms were going off in Sirius's mind as well. He excused himself and suggested that we go to sleep. We followed his advice and went off to find the room that we would be staying in.

Apparently, Harry wasn't interested in sleeping either. I was disappointed that I couldn't move, I was still so sore. He didn't seem to mind, as he just lay there with my face in his hands and his mouth on mine. For the longest time we lay there like that before Harry broke the kiss to whisper, "I love you, Draco," in my ear, making me shiver.

"And I love you," I replied, laying my head on his chest.

I was thinking about my mother again. I wondered what was happening to her. The ministry workers would probably be there already, going through all of their belongings and what have you's. I started crying when I thought of all the questions she would have to answer. She would have to admit weakness. I was wondering how she would take that. The thought of her going to Azkaban scared me more than anything else. My mother did not belong in that place. She never meant any harm, not even towards me. Or perhaps she would be allowed to go and start over again. I chose to think about that as a more plausible outcome as it was the least painful for me to think about. Couldn't I disillusion myself for just a while?

*****

Poor Draco.