Note: Again in Draco's POV.
His Way Is In Dismay
Apparently, 'just a while' means more like three days. For three days I received nothing from or about Lucius or my mother. I was starting to think that I was not going to hear anything at all. A large barn owl flew in our bedroom window on the morning of the third day there. Stroking its neck, I untied the letter written in an unfamiliar script. It took off as I sat there staring.
What the envelope contained I did not yet know, but it could not have been good news. Don't ask me how, I just knew it. Very slowly and with shaking hands I opened the envelope and unfolded the parchment.
Dear Mr. Malfoy;
I feel that it is my duty to inform you of your parent's where-
abouts. Lucius has been arrested and is being held indefinitely, though
where, I am not at liberty to say. His trial is pending, and you may or
may not be called on to testify. You will of course be required to place
a statement with the Ministry shortly.
Unfortunately, there is some rather tragic news regarding your
mother. There is no other way for me to tell you; all apologies. Narcissa
was recently informed that you would no longer be allowed in her care.
She took the news much harder than anticipated and has passed on, at
her own hand.
Again, I would like to apologize for not being able to speak in
person with you. Should you need anything at all, please feel free to
contact me.
Sincerely,
Arthur Weasley
Minister of Magic
First I started laughing. This was some really bad practical joke. The laughter turned to screams. This was some really sick irony. This was the worst thing that could have happened. Worse even than me being chained to a bloody wall in my own father's fucking dungeon. Worse than me dying against said fucking wall. The only light in my life at all for the first sixteen years of it was put out. Just like that.
Then I was sobbing against someone that I knew wasn't Harry. 'Where is Harry?' He wasn't there. He had gone off somewhere with Sirius just before I got that letter. The letter telling me my mother was dead. Arms tightened around me, in a rather protective fashion. I sobbed harder.
"My goodness, what on Earth is wrong?" I heard Remus asking very quietly. I gave him the letter. He read it and gave it back to me. After a quiet moment, he pulled me closer to him like a child. I know I'm not a very big person at all... Hell, I'm not even average. But I felt much smaller than I ever had before and it was pleasant to be like protected from the outside world in a more physical way. "I see," he finally managed to get out.
"I liked my mother, you know."
"I'm sure you did. I never knew her well, myself," he said quite regretfully.
Death does funny things to people. It can make someone who was an extra in one's life seem like a main character. It changes one's perspectives on a lot of things, but only temporarily. Remus will have forgotten about this in a few years. If even that long. But it is the one thing I know I will always remember.
"There's nothing I can really remember about her that stood out except that she liked me. She used to come to the dungeons to see me. She used to play music, too," I smiled. "Actually, she played a lot of Muggle music, if you can dig that."
"Hmm. I think I can. But what kind of Muggle music?" he asked.
"I don't know, come to think of it. It's really very beautiful, and the way this man sings it is awesome. It's like poetry set to some odd kind of orchestra. Harry reminds me of a few of those songs." The same thought occurred to me again. "Strange that it would be a Muggle who said it best."
"Why?"
"I don't know. I guess I was raised to think of Muggles as a sub-species. They're not on the same level as we are in any way, shape, or form. Because their minds don't have the capacity to think in terms of magick."
"Do you really believe that?"
"Not really. No. If a Muggle can put that much passion into a piece of artwork, who the hell am I to call him lesser?"
He laughed lightly. "Very eloquently said."
"Thank you," I said as I laughed back. I was starting to feel better. The rest of my breakdown could happen when Harry got home and I would have to show him that awful letter. Remus gave me one last squeeze, and got up.
"Care for a cup of tea?" he said, extending his hand.
"Sounds lovely," I replied, taking it.
We sat at the table in the kitchen sharing a pot of tea and chatting. Turns out that he's got no parents, either. Casualties in Voldemort's war. Same had happened to Sirius, as well. He told me about his life and losing his parents and I told him my side of the story. He was really a good listener and he would respond when there was something to respond to.
It was odd having a conversation with someone other than Harry. Especially Remus. He was the last person I ever expected to have a heart to heart about life with. 'Wait a minute.' "Why don't you like me?" I found myself asking quite suddenly. I didn't mean to say it, it just seemed to be on my mind.
"Pardon?" he said.
"I'm sorry. I guess I just sort of get the impression that you're not too fond of me. Or haven't been up to this point," I tried to explain.
"Well, most of that is just the fact that I don't know you. I must admit that I did have a few reservations about you. Again, mostly just because I don't know you. At least not that well."
I laughed at him. For the first time ever, Remus Lupin was going out of his way to make me feel comfortable. Or at least talk to me like a real person. "Maybe not, but then again, you did take me into your home, so I guess you can't have had all that many misgivings, right?"
"I've had my misgivings, and I can't lie, but I do still trust Harry, and therefore you are a friend as well. True, up to this point I have been rather.... childish about the whole matter. But the key phrase in that statement is 'this point'," he said, choosing his words carefully.
"So what does 'this point' have to do with, from your position?" I asked.
"Well, to be perfectly frank, I am growing rather fond of you. Maybe this point is where I learn to grow up and not be so damned closed minded." He smiled sort of slowly, the thought apparently becoming amusing. "Funny," he said distantly, "I never thought a Malfoy would be teaching me about being open minded." Coming back to the present, he seemed to realize what he said and with quite the startled look on his face, as well. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that."
"That is quite apparent, judging by the look on your face," I replied, giggling at him. "But really, it's okay, don't worry about it."
After a few more moments of chattering, I excused myself on the pretense that I was tired and needed to sleep. This was the furthest thing from the truth, but I desperately needed to be alone. I needed to process the news I had received not long before. I needed to write to this Arthur Weasley and find out if there was going to be a service.
If nothing else, being a Malfoy has taught me that when business needs to get done, you need to get the business done. Sitting down at the small desk in the corner of the room, I began to write to Arthur Weasley. I asked him when and where the services would be, thanked him for his condolences and apologies, and included a brief statement that I hoped would be sufficient for the Ministry.
No sooner had I sent my owl, Piewackett, off than Harry walked in the door. Now it was time to gash the wound open again and bleed all over the place again. I was hoping that this was going to be the last time I would have to explain what happened. The moment he saw me his smile faded into a mask of concern.
"Draco, you look awfully pale. Are you feeling all right?"
"Yes, I'm fine. Sort of. I've gotten a letter from the Ministry. They say that my mother is dead. She committed suicide because she wasn't allowed to look after me anymore," I spat out. Speaking faster made it more likely to be coherent as I was quickly losing myself to sobs.
"Oh, dear. I'm so sorry, love," he said as he picked me out of the chair so he could hold me.
"I never thought she would do herself in like that. Why did she have to do that?" I sobbed into his chest. "Didn't she know that it wouldn't have to be that way forever?"
"Maybe she just didn't know what else to do," he offered. He pulled me tighter to him and kissed me on the forehead. I started calming down, though very slowly. Harry continued to pet and kiss me until I finally got myself under control.
"Are you okay?" Harry asked carefully, as though his words alone would make me break.
"I suppose. There's not really any point in carrying on like that, is there?"
"Grieving isn't really a bad thing, you know," he replied, setting me on the bed. "How else are you supposed to work through it if you aren't allowed to be emotional?"
I laughed. "I think I've been plenty emotional, thank you. I'd actually like to stop being that way all the bloody time; I would like to live a relatively normal life now."
"How relatively normal do you want your life to be?" he asked, laughing.
"Really, I'd just like to sleep in a real bed and eat on a regular basis and say whatever the hell is on my mind without being beaten afterward." Harry looked nothing short of completely scandalized when I finished. "Sorry."
"Well, you're with me now, so there's no need to worry. And I think that we can work on this whole 'normal' life you're talking about," he added with a smile.
"You think so?"
"For you, anything."
Feeling Harry's lips on mine was enough to make all the pain and trauma of my life disappear. And when we weren't directly touching, he made my life less painful and traumatic just being there. He and his family (or what I shall refer to as his family) took me into their home. That in and of itself was enough to make me optimistic, at least. I may no longer have had my mother, but I still had Harry and that was worth a hundred thousand years in Lucius's damned dungeon.
*****
Look, I know that Arthur Weasley as the M.o.M. is uncreative. It's minor, give me a break.
Sorry it took me so long to get this up, my muse took a vacation. And things will get better for Draco, I promise. Thank all of you who have reviewed, this is for you. *blows kisses and gazes lovingly about* Cheers!
