Author: Dazzling

Email: glitter_and_glam@hotmail.com

Disclaimers: I am not Donald P. Bellasario. Enough said.

Summary: Vignette - Harm's POV during the 'AP' kiss. Apologies for the rambling. (A lot of thoughts for a 1-2 second kiss, but hey, I'm a fic writer, I can control time if I want to.)

Reviews & Feedback: Please? Please please please? I don't like begging, but.

AWKWARD MOMENT #310

We stand in the doorway. She looks up at the ceiling, inclining her head. My eyes follow, and I see the mistletoe hanging there.

"Awkward moment number 310," she says, slightly amused, a small smile playing on her beautiful lips. She moves towards me slightly, and I bend my head down. Her lips meet mine, and feelings I thought I had buried wash over me with the force of a tidal wave all over again.

Her touch sends chills through me - the kind you get when everything in that one moment in time is perfect, and you wish like anything that you could freeze it and live in it forever. That's what I want. To stop time, and just to have her and me under this mistletoe for eternity.

Eternity. It's a word that brings up memories I'd rather forget. The past is done, and I can't take back what a fool I was. But if you'd said back then that in nearly two years, I'd be standing here bringing to reality the only dream I've ever wanted so badly it hurt, I would've laughed. It seemed impossible. After all, I gave my dream up in Sydney.

But here we are. Almost six years, hundreds of cases, numerous partners and one fiancé from when we met, and my breath still catches at the sight of her. I've seen her laughing and I've seen her crying, I've seen her depressed and I've seen her ecstatic, and no matter what she looks like, each time she walks into my life I fall a little bit more in love with her. If I hadn't completely fallen for her before tonight, before the party, this meeting under the mistletoe has pushed me all the way.

Yeah, I'm falling. I'm plummeting downwards, through an endless spiral of bottled-up emotions, and it all revolves around her. Sometimes, I want to stop falling, want to let her know exactly what she does to me. Other times, I'm content just to keep drowning in the beauty of her eyes, watching her every day, knowing that I'm at least in her life as a friend.

I once whispered that I'd give up my girlfriend to be with her. And I would have, if said girlfriend hadn't given me up first. Hell, I'm not angry, I'm glad she gave me the out. But ever since both of us became single, most of what we've done has been dancing around the one topic that neither of us can seem to confront.

I'm a lawyer, I'm a pilot, and I'm not meant to be scared of anything. Yet, I'm petrified of what effect being in love with her will have on me. I'm also frightened of what to do about it. Sure, I love her. Loving her is the easy part. Acting on that feeling is something I still haven't been able to do. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to.

As we break away, I remind myself that this time, there's no Renee, no Mic, no engagement party. Nothing holding us back but ourselves. And that's the biggest obstacle we have to make it past.

FIN

A/N: No, there's no sequel. Nor will there be Mac's POV. Cause if I do that, this'll most likely turn into a series like 'Stop Making Me.' and, well, I know how that turned out *grin*. So, that's it.