Chapter Nine: A Surprise Concession


Cameron and Joey stood at the bottom of the stairs, hearing Patrick's obnoxious music emanate through the walls from his room on the second floor.

"I don't think he's going," Cameron groaned despairingly.

Joey was about to respond when Cameron's mother came walking from the kitchen, a large plate containing a sandwich in one hand.

"Hey, Mom, I -"

"What are you two doing?" Mrs. Stratford asked suspiciously.

"Well, if you must know, we're meeting with a small study group of friends."

Mrs. Stratford's gaze narrowed slightly. "Otherwise known as an orgy?" she accused.

Cameron sighed dramatically. "It's just a party, Mom. Everyone's going to be there and -" Cameron cut his words off when Patrick came down the stairs and moved toward the kitchen. " - Attila the Hun over there won't go, but I shouldn't be penalized because of it."

"Patrick," Mrs. Stratford said. "Do you know anything about a party tonight?"

Patrick shrugged and continued into the kitchen.

"Mom, everyone expects me to be there."

"Cameron, you know the rules. If your brother doesn't go, you don't go."

Cameron turned on Patrick, who had come back into the foyer with an apple in his hand. "You are such a jerk!" he fumed. "You are ruining my life because you aren't normal!"

"What's normal?" Patrick asked, shrugged again just to irritate his brother.

"Bogey Lowenstein's party is normal, but you're too busy being a bastard to know that."

Deciding to ignore the mild curse word from her younger son, Mrs. Stratford merely inquired, "What a Bogey Lowenstein?"

Continuing to glare at Patrick, Cameron pleaded, "Can't you forget for just one night that you're completely wretched and go to the party?"

Patrick grimaced before finally admitting, "I know about the stupid party, and I thought I'd go ahead and put in a brief appearance."

As Cameron and Joey took in this information and began hooting and slapping high-fives, Mrs. Stratford noticeably paled and muttered, "Oh no, it's starting."

Cameron briefly hugged his mom, saying "It's just a party, Mom."

Mrs. Stratford measured her son's expression for a moment, then said, "You have to wear the belly."

Cameron gasped in dismay, taking a quick step back from her. "Mom, no. Joey is here!"

"Only for a few minutes," she said as she ran to the front hall closet and wrenched open the door. "Just around the foyer for a few minutes."

Cameron looked stricken as he closed his eyes in shame.

Mrs. Stratford came out of the closet holding a large vest with a distended stomach hanging in front. Joey stifled a laugh as his friend's mom walked over to Cameron and forced him to place his arms through the vest so that the stomach hung in front of him.

"I just want you to think responsibly and weigh every decision. If you don't, you might impregnate girls and this is what they have to go through."

Cameron moaned, "You are so mentally unbalanced."

Patrick threw out the core of the apple he just finished. "Can we go now?"

Mrs. Stratford quickly moved nearer the front door, saying "All right, wait a minute. No drinking. No drugs. No kissing. No tattoos. No piercings. No ritual animal slaughters of any kind." She took a deep breath. "And one more thing," she added. "Cameron, don't talk to any girls without Patrick around."

"Why?" he asked, squirming in the uncomfortable vest he was still wearing.

"Because Patrick will scare them away."

At this comment, a mildly annoyed Patrick flung open the front door, only to find Kat Verona standing there, her finger about the press the doorbell.

"Nine o'clock, right?" she asked, her cheeks flushing slightly as she smiled up at him.

Despite himself, Patrick felt some pleasure at seeing her at his door, although he concealed it behind a well-placed scowl.

"I know," she continued. "I'm a bit early."

Patrick held up his keys. "I'm driving," he said curtly, moving past her and away from the door he left open.

Kat peeked in the open door and saw the younger brother Cameron standing there. "When did your brother get so fat?"