Disclaimer: All Harry Potter characters belong to J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros.
The next morning, the students entered the stinking (What do you expect the aftermath to be?) Great Hall and ate their breakfast. Malfoy was still groaning of how Peeves' Dungbombs made 10 bruises on his hands and 7 on his legs. Hermione looked as if she was going to faint *bang* at the stench but unfortunately did not.
When they wandered about the "still-stench-free" grounds, Harry noticed a black dog near a bush.
"Sirius?"
Harry, Ron and Hermione came in the bush. The dog transformed into Sirius Black.
"How is that Butt doin'?" Sirius asked.
"Dumbledore did something really stinky with it," Harry replied.
"I know. Dumbledore sent me a letter. I see that you're having fun,"
"Yup. What do you want now?"
"Nothin'. Just want to tell ya, DO NOT GIVE THE BUTT TO VOLDEMORT!"
"Why?"
"I heard news that he's gone insane. Terrible. I overheard his plans."
"What are his plans?"
"Can't tell ya. Too disgusting."
That's when a short figure jumped out of a nearby tree.
"NO! Pettigrew!"
"STUPEFY!"
The next moment, nothing.
"You have them?"
"Yes, master,"
"Good. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! *snort* *snort*"
Harry woke up of a sudden.
"Woke up too soon, Potter?"
"Voldemort."
He looked around. He recognized the place at once. He had seen this place before…in a dream…last year.
"The Riddle House." Harry observed.
"You are now in my USELESS home. Your friends too are fortunate to drop in,"
Harry saw Ron, Hermione and Sirius beside him.
Voldemort examined Harry and took out a piece of parchment.
"Is this what I'm supposed to find, Wormtail?"
"Yes, my lord."
Voldemort then took out his wand and tapped it. The parchment expanded back into the Marauders' Butt. Hermione fainted *bang*.
"Yes. This is it, Wormtail. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! *snort* *snort*"
"Master. You need your medication."
"Oh yes! *snigger* I have an appointment at the Joyful Place Hospital For the Mentally-Challenged and People Like You-Know-Who at 9 o' clock. Hmmm…maybe I should kill some people on the way *wheeze* Now, Wormtail, give me the dagger."
Wormtail then took out a box.
Ron whispered, "He is beginning to sound like a madman,"
Voldemort opened the box and took out a GIANT MEAT CLEAVER about 2 feet long and 1 foot wide and it gleamed although it was very dark. He began to laugh hysterically like a madman.
"On the other hand, HE IS A MADMAN!!!"
Voldemort then cut the Butt into two.
Hermione who took the wrong time to wake up, fainted *bang* again.
He searched through what's inside the Butt and took out a stick filled with brown muck.
"Alas! I have found James Potter's wand!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"
Harry felt as if he was going to throw up. "THAT'S MY DAD'S WAND?!"
"What! What! What did you say?" said Hermione when she was awoken by Harry's shout.
Voldemort turned around. "Exactly, his wand is the only wand which can cast the Farting Charm. Want to have a taste of it?"
Hermione groaned.
"GASSIUS TOTALUS!!"
A stench worse than the Marauders' Butt filled the House.
Hermione (What else?) fainted *bang*.
"What are you *cough* going to *cough* do with it?" Harry asked.
"For years, I had *cough* used too much of the *cough* Killing Curse. I'm afraid my wand had run out of curses. So what better way to replace magic than MUGGLE TECHNOLOGY?"
He pulled out a cloth, revealing a huge gadget.
"What is that?" Ron asked Hermione.
"Can't you recognize a cannon when you see one?"
Voldemort hugged the cannon as if his girlfriend was in front of him. "With James' wand in this compartment," He then opened a drawer and put the wand inside it. "I can dominate the whole world with the GREEN PLANET PROJECT *thunder roaring*"
Wormtail then asked, "Master's growing trees?"
Voldemort looked back at Wormtail with disgust. "Why would Lord Voldemort, the greatest sorcerer in the world, PLANT TREES?"
"To save the world?"
"AAAARRRRGGGHHHH!!!! Never mind. When I press the red button, the electricity from the generators *taking deep breath* and reach for the magnetrons to form high frequencies around collected by the flow of charges through the primary wire and manage the negative charges from the secondary power line and turn the gravity ozone to the magnetrons and run from the parallel plug to the uneven plug and form the high pitched electrons that will act like a black hole and collect some of the Farting Charm from the compartment containing the wand and…it's no use showing off one-breath words…then will flow towards the contrary flow and zigzag around the electromagnetic field like a pinball and then the powers will energize my FACTORY!!!"
Questions burst into Sirius and Ron's puny minds.
"What is a tacfory…er…factory?" blurted Ron and Sirius at the same time.
Hermione replied, "I suggest all of you go and take Muggle Studies for a head start,"
Voldemort pressed a blue button and a door opened revealing a HUGE building.
"As I left out, the funnels will release green gas and the whole world will be flooded with gas, thus succeeding my GREEN PLANET PROJECT *thunder roaring*!"
"Master's planting trees?"
"AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!! Never mind. HahahahahahamuahahahaHaHaHaHAHAHAHAHAHAMUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"
Sirius whispered, "Ron, I have to agree. He is a madman."
Harry shouted, "SOMEONE CALL THE ASYLUM!"
Wormtail quickly took out his mobile phone and called The Joyful Place Hospital for The Mentally-Challenged and People Like You-Know-Who.
"Call done."
"NNNNNOOOOOO!!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! OOOOHHH! OOOHHHH! OOOHHH!! OOOHHH! STAYIN' ALIVE! STAYIN' ALIVE!"
"Man, I love this song," said Sirius as he danced with the groove.
"Master, your singing is too great. So great, I want to dance with you."
"Sure," Voldemort purred. "YOU ARE THE DANCING QUEEN! YOUNG AND SWEET ONLY FORTY-FIVE!"
"I RESENT THAT! I'M ONLY 37 YEARS OLD!" Pettigrew shouted. "I'm a SLAAAAAAAAAVE FOR YOU!!" The windows cracked.
"Thank you. Anyway, back to business. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
As he laughed hysterically, he motioned towards the red button.
"NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!"
