Author's note: IZ & co aren't mine, but the story idea is, duh.
Do GIR and Zim remind anyone beside me of Pinky and the Brain?
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First Chapter (really this time it is)
Zim sighed, stretching out in a chair in his underground lab. He blinked to get the contact sensations from his eyes and scratched his scalp and wiggled his antennae, finally free from that itchy wig. In an unusual moment for the Irken, he thought dispiritedly on how for the past five or so Earth years he had thought up many brilliant (he thought) plans, each of which had been foiled by either Dib (that stinkbeast pest) or other foolish Earth trickiness. For a few seconds he was discouraged- but only a few. He sat up resolutely and began scheming for the next days attempt- this time it would work, nothing would interfere with his brilliance this time!
Dib, too, was at home putting his evidence on Zim into another report for the Eyeballs. He checked the clock. Soon Mysterious Mysteries' would be on, and then he could maybe get in some spying time at Zim's before getting his sleep for the next day's defense of Earth. This time, he thought, the Eyeballs will see the truth behind the creature posing as a human hi skooler, noseless, earless, and the shortest guy in the 10th grade, though admittedly not as short as he used to be. This time he would actually get to the meeting on time, with the report, with his glasses whole and unbroken, with his projector, and free of anything else that had gone wrong those countless other times. Not tomorrow, but the next day, the truth, the truth would be out!
Gaz was in the living room downstairs, playing away furiously at her GameSlave 16+, box of pizza in reach of spare hand. The only thought other than the game crossing her mind was Maybe Dib will do something other than spy on that pitiful alien tomorrow, after all these years... not!
GIR was in Zim's kitchen, attempting to get a cupcake from the top cupboard.
Eh, eh! he grunted as he jumped up on the counter and teetered on the edge, stretching to reach the top shelf... WHUMP!
Oh, no, cupcake! he cried, standing up in the gooey mess of sat upon cupcake on the floor. Maybe Master can make a new one: chocolate, with green icing, and... and... the Scary Monkey on top! Eeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GIR ran screaming around the kitchen floor, walls, and ceiling, finally smashing through the toilet, down the elevator, and into the lab. Still running, GIR wooshed by his master, yodeling maniacally, only stopping when he saw what Zim was working on.
Ooooh, Master is making a GIANT TV!!!! YAY!
NO, GIR, I am constructing a holographic multiplier screen to broadcast my image many times into the television boxes of humans everywhere, making them believe that the Armada is at hand. Once they see the desperation of their situation, that will be realized in full when the real Armada arrives soon like they said yet again, the filthy humans will submit to me without actually facing the powerfulness of my... power! Zim raved while GIR stood on his head.
GIR moaned, Master, I wanted a giant TV... and a cupcake!
Didn't I tell you there was one in the cupboard? Zim absentmindedly reprimanded his childlike robot. He sighed impatiently as GIR whimpered subserviently. Fine. I'll go get you a cupcake. But don't TOUCH that screen!
GIR's eye's flashed red as he saluted, and then turned blue again as he turned back to the giant screen. GIR thought. The Scary Monkey Show is on in a minute, but I can't touch the screen... Master didn't say that the controls were a no...
Up in the kitchen, Zim was muttering about his giant screen plans while he rooted around the kitchen. The thing was a transporter before, so I'll have to modify the pictorial amplifier, and adjust the spranditch so that it doesn't take the real me, only the image, and- He was cut off by GIR-like screeching, and then an ominous silence. Zim let out an Irken curse and stormed into the elevator through the toilet, leaving the lid up in his haste.
GIR! WHAT DID YOU DO? Zim snapped, striding up on the rear side of the screen. Hearing no response, he cautiously peered around the edge of the screen, and gasped at what he saw: his controls tampered with, a cupcake wrapper, and a rubber piggy lying forlornly on the floor before the screen. And no GIR. Walking around to look at the front of the screen, expecting to see the little robot plastered to the monitor while the Scary Monkey stood and... stood on his show, Zim instead beheld the horrifying sight of... a blue, swirly mass of clouds. He walked right up to the bottom of the really tall TV monitor, reached his hand out to tap the surface experimentally, and was sucked through, with barely any time to holler a
Meanwhile, at Dib's house, the teen was just finishing his Mysterious Mysteries' program, agitated at the conclusion.
But I saw a gryphon, I really did, they are real, I have the photos to prove it, although it got too close and scratched the camera lens with its beak! he protested.
Give it up, Dib. Sure they're there, but no one will ever believe you. Why should you care if they do or not? Gaz advised in between levels.
Dib shut up. He stood, stretched, yawned, and headed upstairs to get his improved spying gear on. He hadn't been getting enough sleep lately, staying up in the wee hours of morning to catch some clue of Zim's newest plan. The alien had been unusually inactive over the past few days, a sign to Dib that he was up to something. So what if he lost sleep over it if he negated the threat to his planet? His classes were sleep through easy and boring anyway, with Ms.Bitters snaking her way into every one of his courses. Dib gathered his tools and slipped out the front door.
The night was unusually dark and clear. Not a cloud lurked in the sky as Dib hurried along the street, keeping his tall, thin frame as low to the pavement as possible. Suddenly, from the gloom rose a high, towering green and purple house with a fence surrounding a well manicured, garden gnome filled yard. Was it Dib's imagination or were the eyes glowing in the dark? The air shimmered sharply as he reached the gate, peered in, stood tall and walked right up to the front door, ringing the bell politely, and acting for all the world like a normal visitor. Dib knew from years of experience that by now Zim would have retired to his lab to plot, leaving the little dog... robot... thing called GIR to keep up the defenses. With a brainfreezie at the ready, Dib waited for the odd little creature to answer the door. He would bribe the bot, be invited in, and use the time befor Zim came up to check on his servant to find an inconspicuous way into the underground lab.
But GIR did not answer the door. Puzzled, Dib reached up to knock, and the door swung open soundlessly. Cautiously he stepped inside, wary of a trap, but after standing inside the door foolishly for a minute or so, he gathered up his courage to go all the way inside. Nothing jumped him, nothing tackled, nothing tied him up, and no Zim came striding up cackling evilly at his success. Dib wandered into the kitchen, wondering at the dimmed and flickering lights, the strange poster above the... toilet? What was a toilet doing in a- oh, yeah, Zim's kitchen. Anything was possible concerning Zim.
Hm. The lid was up, and it seemed to be purple on the inside. Dib leaned over curiously and saw, instead of the typical toilet bowl, a ladder along one side into an... elevator car? He looked around once again, suspicious of some trick or joke, stared into the toilet, and, thinking Oh heavens I can't belive I'm doing this, Dib climbed awkwardly into the toilet. Once inside, he muttered, Now, how does this get to the lab? and the house computer answered, shocking him.
Yes, Master, too the lab
The capsule started to shake as it bore Dib down the tubing to the last level onto which Zim had exited. Dib stepped out, camera ready, snapping up evidence of the vaulted ceiling of the room lined with a tangle of pipes and tubes. What caught his eye in the mass of alien technology was a huge TV screen depicting a swirling array of blue and grey clouds. Oddest of all was the little rubber piggy lying on the floor before it as if abandoned. Dib walked over to the piggy first, clicking pictures, taking notes, and turned to stare up at the screen. He stepped closer and closer to it, enthralled, and reached out to feel the texture of the extra terrestrial monitor. His big mistake.
I should have known, ALIEN SCUM!!!!!! Dib screeched as he was sucked through the GIR modified screen.
