London Rain

London Rain

Part Two

~Natsu~

A/N: My exams are finally finished! THANK GOD!!! So…now I have a whole summer to waste and I'm going to be able to write a lot more. Anyway…second part. The majority of people who reviewed wanted me to keep this part in Matt's POV, so that's what I'm doing. I'm not entirely sure what's going to happen so please ignore any huge gaping plotholes and try not to hold it against me too much, okay? Ta very much. Ooh, and thanks to whoever made that Clouds documentary that was on BBC 2 a few weeks ago for the help and ideas it provided. Nice one. And I've also noticed that this fic keeps trying to turn into some twisted version of Notting Hill. Oh dear.

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The door's red. With a little brass knocking thing and matching numbers. 42. I stare up at the building through the petering rain. It looks like a cross between a house and an apartment…I'm not quite sure what you'd call it. Housment, maybe. There's two empty glass milk bottles standing on the doorstep, flanked by a pot plant with little yellow flowers. Pot plant…everything looks so nice and homey and…it just seems to scream 'happy family'.

What the hell am I doing here? What if he's married now? And just never told me. What if he doesn't recognise me? What if…

I have a sudden urge to turn round and run away. And pretend that I never even thought of coming here. I glance over my shoulder and Yutaka's blocking my escape, watching expectantly, waiting for me to knock. Oh God…this is it…here we go. I raise my hand to knock.

I don't know why I'm so nervous. He's my friend. He's Tai. Why would I be nervous to see Tai? I should be happy to be able to see him again. It can be just like old times. We'll have the morning competition to see who can get ready fastest after the alarm clocks have been ignored and I'll lose as usual, even after I've been awarded extra time because my hair is rebelling. We'll spend the day apart and eat together in the evening, order a pizza or something if I can't be bothered to cook, and bitch about our days. Then get pissed in front of the TV. Get pissed and fuck.

Actually…maybe that one isn't such a good tradition to keep. The last thing I want is for something like that to happen. We're broken up and staying that way. Yes.

The knocker makes a satisfying clunking noise of metal against metal and I wait patiently, unconsciously fiddling with the sleeve of my coat. Yutaka sighs behind me, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. There's water in the milk bottles…I bet the pot plant likes all this rain…why hadn't he answered yet? Fuck, maybe he's not in. That would sure suck. I'd have to go back and…no, wait, I can hear noises. He's opening the door. Oh God I don't want to do this anymore. I want to go back to my extravagant hotel room and order as much as I can from room service. And Missy will have to pay for it all. Hehe…

And then the door's gaping at me, and I'm standing trying to focus on the achingly familiar figure holding the door. He's staring at me, not saying anything, a multitude of confused emotions flickering across his face. Time seems to have paused, the rain drops frozen in the air, my breath caught in my throat, the pot plant looking on…

Then all at once it's broken as a casual "Hi," slips from my mouth accompanied by a false, easy smile that I've perfected for the camera. I might as well be watching myself act, I feel so detached. Why am I using the camera smile? It's like seeing a movie and sitting helplessly as your favourite character takes the gun and blows their brains out.

"Oh." He says, obviously the first word his brain supplied, then shakes his head. "Hi."

He's giving me the strangest look…not quite confusion, not quite disbelief…more as though I've just performed some gravity defying feat that he knows couldn't possibly happen, but can't deny that he's seen it.

When he doesn't make a move I hear myself asking "Can I come in?" in the pleasant interview voice.

"Um…ye..yeah, yeah, of course. Yes, come in. Yeah." He mutters, sounding disorientated as he steps aside and I walk through the red door, followed by Yutaka. The inside of the house matches the outside. Friendly, tidy and with an unmistakable splash of feminine class. I feel a frown tugging at my features but it'll take more than that to shift the patented camera smile.

"So…" He starts uneasily as we all stand awkwardly in the hallway waiting for someone else to speak.

"So," I return, glancing down the hallway and expecting some upper class British woman to appear from nowhere. 'Well, aren't you going to introduce me darling?' She'll say coyly, attaching herself to Taichi's arm. Oh God, or worse, she'll be carrying a little kid with her nose and his eyes, cooing affectionately, 'Shall we go and say hello to Daddy's friends? Shall we?' And he'll smile affectionately and I'll be invited for afternoon tea or whatever and that'll be the end of everything and I'll have to go back to the hotel and marry Leslie or be alone for the rest of my life.

Yutaka coughs and I snap back to what's actually happening in real life to see my mobster-look-alike bodyguard shift uncomfortably under Taichi's suspicious gaze. Fuck, didn't introduce them. First rules of etiquette out the window.

"Oh, Taichi, this is Yutaka, my bodyguard. Yutaka, Taichi." I say as standard, waving my hand in the respective directions.

"Nice to meet you." Yutaka says gruffly, holding a hand out to Taichi, which he shakes politely.

"Yes…you too. Bodyguard, huh? Wow, I thought that maybe…" I notice for the first time that Taichi's voice is edged by a faint whisper of a British accent as he trails off, leaving the thought unfinished. He recovers with a brisk "Never mind. So…hey, it's great to see you again Yamato." He says with a grin as plastic as mine. It's so weird to hear him call me by my full name

"Yeah." Why can't I think of anything to say to him? I realise suddenly that it's my place to talk since I was the one that turned up unexpectedly on his doorstep. "I was…uh…in the neighbourhood, I guess, and Takeru gave me your address so I just thought I'd stop by and say hi," I say.

"Oh. Right. Well…do you want to come in?" He says conversationally, gesturing down the hallway. I decide not to point out that we already are 'in', knowing what he means. I'm about to agree when Yutaka coughs again.

"I…er…better get back. Missy will be missing you and…yeah," he pauses "I'll see you soon then, Yamato."

"Yeah."

"Call me if…you know, you need anything. Uh…yes. Well. Nice to meet you Taichi." He says, turning back to the door with mild paternal sadness.

"Yutaka?" I start, feeling as though I owe him the world. Which I do. "Thanks. A lot."

He just nods.

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It takes me a while to remember where I am when I wake up the next morning. After I explained how fucked everything in my life was, Taichi hesitantly agreed to let me stay for as long as I needed to. The 'guestroom' is as immaculately clean as everything else in this house, including Taichi's personality. He might as well be a completely different person. All last night, he didn't make one insulting comment, one dirty joke; he just…talked politely as if his mother was watching disapprovingly over his shoulder. I am utterly unimpressed. Where was the fire? Where was the passion? Where was everything that was Taichi? Perhaps I was just remembering a him that doesn't exist. Perhaps this is what he's always been like. I shake my head. What a pile of crap that is. I know Tai and I know that that wasn't him.

Shit, that light is so bright. And my stomach is churning. This is like the hangover of the century. Withdrawal symptoms, I guess. I swing my leg over the edge of the bed, reeling at the monstrous effect that it has on the tangled mess of my nerves. There's a mirror across the room. Perhaps if I aim for that I have a chance of not falling flat on my face. I stumble the few challenging feet to the mirror, grabbing the edge of the dresser in front of it and peer into the spotless glass. It feels like a tractor has been running repeatedly over my head…which would explain the current state of my hair. I look terrible. Terrible, terrible, terrible. My skin is even paler than usual, and my eyes are dull with deep purple smudges hung beneath. Did these pyjamas get bigger or am I really that thin now? I look like an anorexic teenager. I feel terrible too…I don't even know what day it is today.

No wonder Yutaka and everyone was so worried.

I sigh, glancing around for a clock. It's 11am. I should probably eat something. I wince as my stomach alerts me that eating would be a pointless exercise. All I want to do is curl up under the bedclothes, away from the sunlight and the incessant noise of the birds. I'm contemplating doing just that when there's a hesitant knock at the door before Taichi's head appears.

"Oh, you're up. Um…" He starts uncertainly, glancing around the room as if he expects to see empty vodka bottles and burnt down joints strewn all over the place. "Do you want breakfast?"

"Coffee would be good." I answer, trying to sound as normal as possible and flatten my hair at the same time.

"Right. Coffee." He says, then disappears again.

Christ…hmm, I wonder where the bathroom is?

* * * * * * * * *

Sunday. Today is Sunday, according to Taichi. I'm looking vaguely more presentable now. Or at least…my hair is under control and I'm wearing clothes that actually fit. Big step up.

This coffee is doing wonders for my head as well. I sip it appreciatively, taking in the kitchen around me. The walls are buttery yellow and there's oak and fresh, herbs everywhere. It's obviously a girl's kitchen. Just…minus the girl. I ponder this for a moment.

"Tai?" I ask finally.

"Mmm?" He's reading the newspaper. Well, the sports page of the newspaper.

"Did you decorate everything yourself?"

He looks up. "God, no. That was Marie."

"Oh." Marie? Well that explains it. Not that I care what her name is of course. We're just friends.

"Marie lives next door," he says pointedly, "She's married."

"Oh." I say again, trying to sound uninterested. As if I care. There's an awkward pause then…

"Who's Missy?" He blurts suddenly and I blink.

"My manager. Why?"

"No reason. Just…" He says with visible relief. "Just wondering." He couldn't really have thought…Missy and me? God that's a funny thought. I'm picturing her dressed like Bride Barbie with white lace and pink ribbon everywhere, happy little forest creatures scampering around her feet, when the phone rings and Taichi gets up to answer it. Then maybe one of the forest creatures will bite her or shit on her foot or something.

"Hello?"

Yeah…or maybe they'll all bite her at once. Go for the throat.

"I'm fine…what?"

Then the headlines would be all "Yamato Ishida's bride-to-be savaged by gopher" and there'd be special TV documentaries, "Can we really trust small mammals?" And parents would be afraid to let their kids leave the house and there'd be gopher patrols in every neighbourhood…

"No he's…it's just…" Taichi's saying glancing at me as I make a valiant attempt to wipe the incriminating smirk from my face, "he's just a friend." Pause. "Well…sure, I guess so. I don't think…" He frowns, takes the phone from his ear and stares at it before hanging it up again.

"Um…that was Marie. She's just coming over to say hi. Is that okay? She's really nice, you'll like her." He tells me in a rush as if I'm going to throw a tantrum and refuse to meet her.

"Yeah, that's fine."

"Oh good." He says and almost immediately I hear the door open.

"Hello?" Calls a cheerful London voice as a middle-aged woman with hap-hazard red hair bustles into the kitchen.

"Hi Marie." Taichi says with a somewhat apologetic glance in my direction.

"Alright love?" She kisses Tai's cheek in a motherly kind of way before turning sharp green eyes to me. "And you are…"

"Yamato. It's nice to meet you."

"Oh fuck, Yamato from the television. And the radio. And…oh fuck." She says. Hmm, never heard that one before.

"Um…yeah."

She smacks Taichi's arm in what was probably supposed to be a friendly way. Looked kinda hard though…but who am I to question British culture. "You said it was just a friend!"

"He is." Taichi replies sulkily.

"Well…honestly." She huffs, rolling her eyes at me and sitting at the table as if she lives here. "Wouldn't mind a nice cuppa," She says to Tai, who frowns and turns to fill the kettle. "So. So, so, so…what brings you to London?" She asks me excitedly.

"Oh…we're supposed to be doing a concert but…"

"But…"

"But, I've sort of run away so…well, they can't do it without me and…"

"Nice one. I guess they'll have everyone looking for you and everything, huh?" She asks grinning mischievously and I feel myself warming to her instantly.

"Yeah, probably."

"Gosh, I've always wanted to do something rebellious like that…ta, love," she thanks Taichi, accepting the cup of tea and setting it down in front of her. "Mmm," She murmurs, as if agreeing with something I've just said, "But I don't think Bertie would be overly impressed if I did…"

"Her husband," Taichi supplies, pulling out another chair since Marie has taken his.

"Anywho. You're quiet today m'dear. Where's the sugar…ah…" I watch with fascination as she stirs an unhealthy amount of sugar into her tea and sips it greedily. Taichi sighs audibly.

"I'm just tired, I guess,"

She snorts, skilfully managing to do it without spraying tea everywhere. "Bollocks. What have you been doing to make you tired? It's Sunday for Christ's sake. Unless…" She shoots a wicked glance in my direction, "Taichi, I thought you said he was just a friend…"

His eyes widen amusingly as she chuckles away into her teacup.

"No, it's nothing like that." I assure her, and I'm proud of how calm I keep my voice.

"Yes well…come on love!" She's speaking to Tai again. "Where's my firey Taichi, hmm? How do you expect me to relive my lost youth through you if you turn into a wet blanket on me?"

God, I love this woman. Go on Tai, answer her. Where's the 'firey Taichi' we all know and love?

"I'm not turning to into a wet blanket…it's just…oh, I don't know."

She tilts her head, frowning with concern. "You're not going strange again, are you? Because I'll call Alice. I will."

"I'm fine Marie." He pouts, glaring at her while she tuts away.

"And Alice would be…" I ask, wondering if I have another name to panic about. Or…not panic about. Because I don't care.

"A friend," Taichi says as Marie informs me,

"She was his therapist. Lovely girl. Could do with a bit of meat on her, but she was a real sweetie…lovely."

"You had a therapist?" I ask before I can stop myself, but Marie keeps talking so it doesn't seem to matter.

"I wonder how she's getting on…old Alice. Might give her a ring just to catch up…what do you think, Taichi? We could have a barbecue and have Alice round. And what's-his-face from down the road. You know…Mr.thingy. With all the cats."

"I…it's kind of cold for barbecues, isn't it?"

"Nonsense. It'll be like Guy Fawkes night. Must remember to tell Bertie…sorry, did you say something?" She's asking me suddenly, while I'm still trying to work out what she's just said about cats and barbecues.

"Sorry?"

"Oh, would you listen to that? 'Sorry'. Don't hear much of that from youth today, do you? All we ever get out of you is…"

"Marie…" Taichi starts wearily

"Sorry love, showing my age again, aren't I?" She grins sheepishly, "What were we talking about? Barbecues…yes. Oh no! Alice. Yamato was asking about Alice!" She says triumphantly, patting my arm for emphasis.

"Was I?"

"Yes," She says firmly, turning to Taichi.

"What?"

"Tell Yamato about Alice."

He shrugs. "There's not much to tell…she's a friend of Marie's and I was having trouble dealing with work…and stuff." He says, glancing at me. Oh fantastic. I guess 'and stuff' translates to being me. Way to make me feel guilty.

"Mmm…" Marie's murmuring again, "Did him wonders, she did. Oh Jesus…look at the time!" She cries suddenly, bolting up from her seat, "Bertie's brother's coming for Sunday roast and the chicken's not even in the oven yet. Sorry love, better run. I'll speak to you tomorrow. Go ahead and give Alice a call for me, won't you? Nice to meet you, Yamato." She rushes out in confusing cyclone of smiles and frizzy hair, leaving the two of us sitting, windswept and stunned, at the kitchen table.

"That's Marie," Taichi says after a moment, with a trace of his old smile as he reaches for his coffee. I nod, trying to think of something to say.

"Mmm…" He's murmuring like Marie now. God help him. "Look at the rain…" He says, looking out the window in an attempt to get us through the silence.

"Oh yes. It's…bad." And the prize for conversation goes to…

"We get a lot of rain here."

"Yeah?"

"Mmm…It has to do with…" He pauses, thinking, "um…yes."

"Right."

"Yeah…"

"So…" Fuck, I need a cigarette.

"So…you know what?" He asks suddenly.

"What?" I answer intelligently.

"This is stupid." I raise an eyebrow and he adds, "I mean, we're still friends…right?" I nod, alarmed by the uncertain tone of his voice.

"Of course. There's absolutely no reason why we can't just pick up where we left off. Before…everything."

He blinks. Wait…that sounded a bit…

"I mean before we…you know, not before I…well…" I say, flustered.

"I know what you mean." He says with a grin. "We're friends."

"Yes. And it's not like anything's going to happen." Oh wait…what if that's not what he thinks?

"No." He sips his coffee.

"No." I echo, turning my attention to my own cup.

He sighs and looks up. "So. How have you been then?" he asks in a voice that suddenly sounds like his own, and I give him my best withering look. "I mean apart from the whole being a suicidal druggie thing," He adds, smirking.

"Apart from that? Um…" I start mock-thoughtfully, "Still crap." He rolls his eyes.

"It can't be that bad. You're famous! It must be fucking sweet…"

"It's not." I say darkly. Of all the subjects not to get me onto…

He tilts his head, studying me and asks, "That bad huh?" I'm always amazed how he can read me exactly simply from the way I say two words.

"Yeah."

He frowns. "Why?"

I suck in a sharp breath and let it out again. "Can we not talk about this now, please?" I say, avoiding his eyes and he drops it instantly.

"Sure. Of course. You know…you won't like me saying this, but…"

"What?"

"Well maybe you should talk to Alice." I almost laugh out loud. Oh yeah, because the last therapist was so helpful.

"I…don't get on too well with shrinks, Tai."

"She's not a shrink. She's really nice," He says encouragingly, "Just meet her once and if it goes really crap then you don't have to see her ever again."

I frown.

"Come on Yama, what do you say? Do it for me?" He asks innocently and his eyes add 'because you owe me fucking big time and you know it'.

I do know it. I sigh defeatedly. "Alright. But only once. I'm holding you to that."

He holds up his hands. "Fine, fine. I'll call her now, shall I? I have to work tomorrow, so she can probably see you then." Tomorrow? Do I have to?

"Won't she have other appointments?" I ask feebly and he grins secretively.

"Oh she'll make time for you. Trust me."

I'm trying to work out just exactly what that's supposed to mean, and desperately hoping that she's not a fan as he's picking up the and punching in the number.

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A/N: So…that would make Matt Julia Roberts. *snickers* Sorry if that was a bit short. I didn't want to go into Alice yet because that's gonna be a long one. Have to wait till next time. How will you ever survive?

Reviews would be nice. ^^