Legal Disclaimer: I don't own anything in my story, despite my delusions
Disclaimer: this was done in five minutes and in no way reflects my writing abilities. It's pointless fluff that should be forgotten immediately, but please read it anyway. Basically, it's Max's reflection of the virus.
I sit on the Space Needle, thinking. The warm breeze brushes through my hair, but I hardly notice, I'm so engrossed by my thoughts.
It's been 3 months since my escape. When I was in Manticore, all I wanted to do was escape. Now all I want to do is go back. Those b@stards destroyed the only thing that kept me going: Logan. He's still here, but I can't touch him, can hardly look at him without wanting to die. The physiology of touch was something I had always taken for granted. Now that it's gone, I wish I had appreciated it more. All those times our hands brushed at dinner, the way he showed me he was there when times got tough, gone. Everything that meant something to me was destroyed by the implantation of a virus.
Poison. I've been thinking about that word a lot lately. It's what I am. I can see it in the mirror. Logan tries to tell me that we'll beat it, but I know better. Even if there was a cure, it would be something else. I'm bad news. Think of all the people that I was responsible for that died. Tinga- I let down her little boy, Case. I promised to bring back his mommy and failed miserably. Ben-why? Why did he have to go wrong? He was always the creative one, could always find a solution. I don't even want to think about Zack. My big brother, dead to save me, despite the fact he hated what I had done with my life.
I don't go to Logan's much any more. It was so gradual, I didn't even notice at first. Instead off going to the penthouse for an assignment, I'd just phone unless it was highly classified. I think Logan thinks that it's because I'm seeing someone else, but it's not. There could be nobody else after him. I try to get through each day by looking forward, never back, but it's hard. I have to though. If I look back I'll realize what I've lost, and that's something I can't afford to do. I have to breath in and breath out, putting one foot in front of the other. People say I've changed. I just smile and nod my head, wishing I was anyone or anywhere else, but I'm not. The little bit of soldier in me was destroyed when I lost him. There is nothing worth the pain anymore.
I sigh and brush off my pants. I have to leave now, I promised to drop by the Crash tonight for Original Cindy's birthday party. She understands I won't stay long, I never do, but I want to put in an appearance. I won't look back because I may see something I can't afford to miss.
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