A/N: Two Winnie-the-Pooh POOH! songs! And don't tell us you don't know which two! (I think some Europeans schools grade by numbers instead of letters, but, since we're American, we stuck with what we know.)
Black Cauldrons and Grades don't Mix
Two shapeless blobs tip-toed away from the Fat Lady in her frame . . .
We're just little black cauldrons,
brewing towards that grade book . . .
We're only little black cauldrons,
pay no attention to little us
Everyone knows that a cauldron never changes grades,
no not a grade . . .
"Unless a Weasley gets a hold of it."
We're just bubbling around the dungeons
wondering where we will tip
Deep in the heart of Hogwarts
Where potions brew many days,
Hidden among the toads and warts
The infamous grade book lays.
"Ah-ha, the book! The Book!"
"Careful, he might have it booby-trapped."
"Hey, people are paying us good money to fix these grades . . . and some not. We got work to do!"
"We got to be careful!"
A snakey named Malfoy has an "A"
And Crabbe and illiterate Goyle?!
"WHAT?!?!"
Fred pointed at the book, eyes wide. "Ohh, bribery! BRIBERY!"
"Well, we'll set that right!" George stated with a proud grin.
Oh, here's Harry, here's 'Miney, and here's Ron!!
"Fred, he's our brother!" George said as his twin hefted the quill.
"I know, and he'll thank us!"
George looked at the grade and grimaced. "Oh . . . guess you're right."
And now, y'all, how about you?
With a regal and serious finesse, both twins hefted quills and looked seriously at the opened book in front of them.
How about you?
"A!" Fred crowed indiscriminately, splashing the grade down.
How about you?
"B!" George countered.
The little cauldrons sure know their stuff!
"Too right!"
And how about you?
"C!"
How about you?
"E!"
"You forgot 'D'."
George sniffed. "No, I'm not giving anyone that grade."
"You had it."
"Shhh!" George said, pushing his brother causing his brother, with his enormous potbelly, to roll around the floor like a misshapen bowling bowl.
Tipping, slipping little cauldrons!
****
The grade book was set down lovingly, with not tricks or ties attacked. Even still, Fred whispered,
"George Weasley? I think Snape may S-U-S-P-E-C-T something."
"Oh, you can spell!"
"Perhaps he'll think another lil cauldron did it?"
"Why he just might. You never can tell with cauldrons."
"Oh, We're just little black cauldrons brewing away from that grade book . . ."
****
They walked through the halls in their costumes, occasionally bumping into each other with clangs.
"Do you really think the cauldron costumes were necessary?"
"This is a musical. They always wear weird stuff!"
"Good point, but I think next time we shouldn't use our cauldrons. Now we got to buy new ones."
"Why didn't you think of that before! We got a Potion Test tomorrow!"
"With our grades, we can fail one test."
"Wha . . oh, good point . . . good point, Brother Cauldron."
