Goldilocks And The Three Guys

Once upon a time, there were three guys who lived in a little house in San Francisco. There was a great big burly guy; there was a middle-sized cross-dressing guy; and there was a wee little fairy guy.

One day, the middle-sized cross-dressing guy made a big batch of delicious chocolate dipped strawberries for... later. He/She filled a great big bowl for the great big burly guy, a middle-sized bowl for him/herself, and a wee little bowl for the wee little fairy guy. But no one was interested in eating at the moment. They all wanted to go watch gay-porno films at a certain theatre. So out they went, leaving the three bowls of strawberries on the table.

While the three guys were at the theatre, a teenage girl named "Goldilocks" (darn she had weird parents!) and her "boyfriend" named "Chris" came to the house. Goldilocks knocked at the door (she had seen the middle-sized cross-dressing guy before, and thinking he was actually female wanted to "meet" him), but of course, no one answered because they were at a gay-porno film. So Goldilocks opened the door, which was a very naughty thing to do (at least to most of us it seems naughty, but this Goldilocks was a very naughty girl so she didn't give a damn), and walked in, with Chris following behind.

There they saw the three bowls of chocolate dipped strawberries waiting on the table, and suddenly she was very horny. So she grabbed Chris and threw her/him on the table and... *cut to later scene*

The bowls of chocolate dipped strawberries were spilled all over the table and the floor, and many of them squashed into jelly. Goldilocks and Chris were putting their clothes back on, when Goldilocks decided she needed a place to sit down. So went into the next room where there was a love seat. She and Chris sat down and sure enough, it's time again to cut to a later scene! (gotta keep this PG-13 rated people!)

The love seat was now in total disarray, with the pillows strewn all over the room as well as some shreds of clothing. As Goldilocks and Chris were putting what remained of their clothing back on, Goldilocks decided that she now needed to lie down. So up the stairs they went, and found a room with one great big bed in it. Sure enough, we once again must cut and go to a different scene!

By this time, the three guys had finished watching gay-porno films and... doing whatever else they were doing, and were on their way back home. No sooner had the great big burly guy walked into the house than he let out a girl-like scream. "Someone squashed my strawberries! Damnit!" He said, once again speaking in his big burly sounding voice.  "Someone screwed up all the work I went to!" said the middle-sized cross-dressing guy in his/her medium-sized poorly done female voice. "Someone squashed my strawberries too," said the wee little fairy-like guy in his wee little fairy-like voice, "and they squashed all of them!" The big bury guy turned to the wee fairy-like guy "Stupid, they're ALL squashed!"

Puzzled, the three guys went to the next room to sit down on their love seat to think things over. But when they got there, the love seat was a total mess and clothing shreds were strewn about the room. "Someone's been screwing on my love seat!" said the great big burly guy in his great big burly voice. The medium-sized cross-dressing guy threw up his/her hands in surprise "Without me?!" he/she said in his/her medium-sized poorly done female voice. At that the wee little fairy-like guy burst into tears. "Someone has been screwing on my love seat and they did it without me!" he said in his wee little fairly-like voice "And lookit the mess they made! It musta been fun!"

The great big burly guy took one look at the love seat and stamped off up the stairs, followed by the middle-sized cross-dressing guy, and the wee little fairy-like guy.

In the bedroom the great big burly guy let out another rather girl-like scream. "Someone has been mussing up my bed," he said in his once again big burly voice. "Someone has been screwing in my bed!" the medium-sized cross-dressing guy said in his/her middle-sized poorly done female voice. "First off, we all share the same bed," began the wee little fairy-like guy, "Secondly, someone was not screwed in it, someone is BEING screwed in it. But sadly, their both female." Sure enough, there were Goldilocks and Chris... Rather busy and not really noticing anything going on around them. But the wee little fairy-like guy's voice distracted them at last. Goldilocks' and Chris' eyes widened in surprise as they took a closer look at the medium-sized cross-dressing guy. "Holy crap! You're male?!" Goldilocks exclaimed. "Uh, yeah... I guess..." replied the medium-sized cross-dressing guy in his medium-sized poorly done female voice. "ARG! Well you suck!" Goldilocks screeched and dragged Chris out of the house and down the street (neither was dressed...). And never again did Goldilocks or Chris wander near the three guys' house in San Francisco.