I do not own Slayers. Don't sue me. You won't get anything. I suppose I do own Kim, Mimi, Anne, Janine, Julia, Leah, Sara, Penny, Nicole, and Amanda. But you can steal them if you want.

---

Mimi was happily walking down a street happily, humming 'Don't be Discouraged' under her breath.
She idly though about how that last ZelxAmelia fic she had found was so cool, and how she would have to add that page to her hundreds of favorites. Sigh. Zelgadis and Amelia were such a perfect couple. They went so well together... If only all those other fans on the internet could see that. She looked idly at the clouds as she walked. Funny... that cloud almost looked like Zelgadis. It was even the same color as he was. And the Zelgadis cloud was falling very fast.

Thump. Mimi's eyes widened in surprise and disbelief. Zelgadis, the all-mighty Zelgadis had landed right in front of her!

"Oh my gosh... It's really you, isn't it?! You're Zelgadis!"

Zelgadis stood up, and looked at her with a confused expression.

"How do you know my name, and where am I?"

"I-it's really you! THIS IS SO COOL!"
Mimi quickly glomped Zelgadis happily, as his eyes abruptly grew to the size of dinner plates. Suddenly, Mimi realized what she was doing, and jumped back.

"Oh! I'm so sorry! I forgot! How could I do that? You belong with Amelia!" she exclaimed. Zelgadis stared even more.

"A-amelia?! What-"

"Oh, you mean you haven't married her yet in the Slayers world!" Mimi concluded, her face growing happier by the second. "Well, I can help you realize your true feelings! You two are the perfect couple!" She pulled out numerous lists, pictures, and stories, to help her prove her point."See, first, it's obvious that you two like each other. She blushes a whole lot in your presence, and you in hers. See?" She shoved some screenshots into his face. "And second, your natures compliment each other so well. She's optimistic, you're pessimistic, she's extroverted, you're introverted. She can accept you for who you are, and bring you out of your shell, while you can calm her down and keep her personality in check! She'll cheer you up, too! She supports you in every way! You guys look so cute together! Everyone knows opposites attract!"
She seemed quite proud of her little lecture. Zelgadis, on the other hand, seemed to be frozen in a 'shocked, disturbed, and incredibly weirded-out' expression.
"And finally," Mimi stated, bringing up her hand, "you two are a CANON COUPLE, FOR GOD'S SAKE! THE CREATORS INTENDED FOR YOU TO BE TOGETHER! YOU GUYS SHARE EYECATCHERS! SEE? IT'S ALL THERE!" Little stars and bright lights surrounded her as she finished her speech, little hearts in her eyes. "A match made in heaven... And now, for visual/textual evidence!" she declared, posing again as she took out a 5 foot tall stack of paper from somewhere. It was completely composed of tons of fanfics, as well as every fanart and official picture of Zelgadis and Amelia together that existed on the net. With a flourish, she picked a random fanfic from the pile. It was a nice long one, that lasted a few chapters. Of course, it also happened to be a highly detailed, slightly out of character lemon fic, but she didn't really pay attention to that."Here! Read this! One of many, many stories that shows how perfect you two are for one another!"

Ten minutes later, Zelgadis's eyes were popping out again, and a gigantic blush covered his face.

"...That is not me," he managed to state after a few seconds of silence.
Mimi, however, didn't seem to notice this, as she started speaking again."See? It's all here! You two are meant to be! The world's perfect match!"

Suddenly, there was a large poof and a puff of smoke, as a girl popped up from nowhere. An extremely angry girl, to be precise, with a little nametag that said 'Hello, I'm Anne' on it.

"Oh no you don't!" she exclaimed furiously, closing in on Mimi. "Don't you dare tell Zelgadis that he belongs with Amelia! There is no way that they could ever be together!"

Zelgadis sighed in relief. Whoever this person was, they didn't seem dead-set on setting him up.

"Everyone can see that he and Lina are meant to be!"

"W-WHAT?!" Zelgadis exclaimed in shock. At his shout, Anne looked over at him, as an ecstatic expression overcame her face.
"Oh yes, Zelgadis-sama! You and Lina are truly the best couple! See, I have evidence right here!" And she too pulled out several graphs, images, and lists to shove into the view of the poor shocked (and very much disturbed at this point) chimera. "See, you two are the only intelligent people in the whole series! You two can carry on a decent conversation! You can keep her temper in check! She can cheer you up! You're both resourceful, cool, smart, stubborn, and strong! You guys are close in age, too! You guys can tell what one another are thinking! How can you even think of going out with that little annoying justice freak?!"

"AMELIA IS NOT A LITTLE ANNOYING JUSTICE FREAK! SHE'S WAY BETTER FOR ZEL THAN LINA IS!" Mimi screamed at Anne. Anne, however, continued her lecture.

"And Gourry can't go out with Lina because he and Sylphiel deserve to be a couple! Besides, you and Lina can tell what one another are thinking half the time! And Lina accepts you as a person! Both of you are calculating and determined to get what you want! In the original Slayers series, Lina made you laugh!"

"Hey! Amelia made Zel laugh lots of times!" Mimi yelled, shoving some more screenshots into Anne's face. "And ZelxAmelia has way more pictorial evidence!"

"There is no way that those two could be a couple!"

"Is too!"

"Is not!"

And a major catfight began, as the two obsessive fangirls fought it out on the street. A hand reached out of the little battle, holding a packet of paper. The hand tossed the paper to Zel.

"Read it!" Anne cried as she fought. "It's one of tons of LinaxZelgadis fics out there! You two are meant to be!"

Against his common sense, Zelgadis began to read the story. Which happened to be another lemon fic.
Needless to say, the poor guy was very, very frightened when he was done. And even more so as Anne and Mimi threw him ZelxAmelia/ZelxLina evidence whenever they could get a limb free from their brawl.

"I can't believe those two idiots! Poor guy... You've had to suffer a lot of stupid fangirl nonsense, haven't you?" a teenage girl sympathized, as she suddenly appeared in front of him. Zel looked at her, hardly daring to believe his eyes.

"Don't ask. My name's Leah, and I sympathize with you completely. How could you be considered a couple with Lina or Amelia?"

A sane person! He had finally found a sane person on this crazy world!

"I mean, after all, you obviously go best with Xellos!"

"XELLOS?! Y-YOU THINK I BELONG WITH XELLOS?!"

She looked at him strangely. "'Course I do, honey! You two are positively adorable together! And besides, you're both part mazoku, you're gonna have a long lifespan and he already does, you always worry about him so much when he's gone..."

"I-I DO NOT!"

"Sure, you claim that you're just worried about what he's up to... But everyone can see that it's love! The way you call him 'fruitcake', how you always grab him by his shirt when he first appears in an episode and pull him close-"

"You have a sick mind."

By this time, Mimi and Anne had slowly stopped fighting as they looked over at the scene.

"And Xell-kun accepts you too, Zelgadis! He likes you! And you have to realize that you like him back!"

Mimi and Anne were looking murderous as they stepped towards Leah.

"ZELGADIS- DOES- NOT- GO- WITH- XELLOS!"

"Well, actually, it is a more plausible solution than AmeliaxZel..." Anne mused to herself.

"NO, IT IS NOT!"

A fanfic fluttered innocently from Leah's hand over to Zelgadis. He stepped away from it nervously. He did not want to read a lemon fic involving him and Xellos. What was with these crazy people, anyway? Did anyone here even have an ounce of common sense?

"Oh, Zelgadis, you must be ignoring all these people here because you're dead set on Filia! You two are the best!"

Nope. Everyone here was positively insane. Maybe if he ignored them, they'd just go away.

"And see, Zelly-kun? Here's pictures of you and Filia!" the FiliaxZel supporter (who's name was Kim, by the way) positively squealed as she held up bright, badly computer-edited images of the two that were stuck together so it looked like they were holding hands, hugging, ect. They were some of the better ones that Zelgadis had been forced to see that day. "Why people don't see that you and Filia belong together is beyond me. It's all there! You two actually get along fairly well, and have pleasant conversations! Half the time, you two are not participating in the normal chaos! You- she- oh, I can't possibly explain it in mere words! Here, read this fic!"

And she threw it (as well as several polls, reasons, and altered images) into Zel's hands just before she was attacked by Leah, Mimi, and Anne.

Zelgadis stared at it for two seconds, then threw it to the ground.

"What is it with you maniacs and putting me in lemons?!"

~*~

15 minutes later, things had gotten slightly out of hand. No less than 9 different girls were arguing, screaming, and fighting with one another.
The MartinaxZel fan (Nicole) was heatedly arguing with Amanda (who was an avid supporter of ZelxGourry). Zel was being bombarded by 3 girls who believed that Valgaav, Sylphiel, and Eris were who he was destined to be with (Sara, Janine, and Penny respectively). Fanfiction, pictures, graphs, and essays on Zelgadis/someone coupledom flooded the street, and the local pedestrians had decided to take detours around that particular area. Mimi, Leah, and Kim were trying to out-reason eachother, while Anne was trying to find reasons to ridicule everyone else's reasons that Zelgadis should be with anyone besides Lina. Zelgadis was just trying to ignore everyone, along with the thoughts that had accompanied the very disturbing lemon fics that had been forced upon him. If he ignored everything, he would be fine. Everything would turn out okay, and somehow he'd get back to where he had come from.

What he did not want was another puff of smoke, which signaled the arrival of another girl. This one looked to be about 16 or so, and was dressed in casual attire (she was named Julia, and had just been transported from in front of her computer).

She looked at Zelgadis and squealed with delight. Then she noticed the other warring girls in the area, and decided that she would need a strategy.

"Jeez! You girls are so arrogant! Thinking you can pair Zel up with whoever you please!"

That got everyone's attention.

"After all, there's only one person that Zelgadis can rightfully be with. AND THAT PERSON IS ME!"

Julia jumped down and mega-glomped Zelgadis. "Oh Zelly-kun! We are simply meant to be! Unlike all those other suggestions, I will do whatever you want me to! I'll follow you everywhere, loyally obey you! I'll help you find your cure! And I don't care that you're a chimera! You're so dreamy just as you are now!" She squeezed him extra tight, eyes closed in happiness.

Which turned to pain a second later, as half the girls started throwing things at her.

And the arguing began again in earnest, as all 10 girls fought about how their couple was the best.

"ZEL AND LINA!"

"ZEL AND AMELIA!"

"ZEL AND XELLOS!"

"ZELLY-KUN AND ME!"

Zelgadis decided that maybe now he could sneak away from the madness. But his movement was suddenly noticed by Janine.

"Hey! Zelgadis! Who do you think you belong with?"

"Yeah!"

"You want Amelia, don't you?"

"No! He wants to be with me!"

"Actually..." Zelgadis remarked, deciding that telling them would be the best solution.

The girls leaned in, anticipation written all over their faces.

"The person I love..."

They were really excited now.

"Is Miwan."

The fangirls' eyes widened. Their faces were complete and uttershock.

"M-MIWAN?!"

"Yeah, actually. We're getting married next month. Now, if you excuse me, I really need to be on my way so I can try to find a way back to my world." And the girls were too shocked and disappointed to stop him. There were a few seconds of silence.

"...Well, that sucks."

"What to do now?"

"Hey!" Mimi announced as she came upon an idea. "Let's see if we can find Xellos! He and Filia are the second best couple in the universe!"

"What?! Are you joking? Xellos and Lina are the best!"

"No! It's XelxAmelia all the way!"

"I still think Xellos and Zelgadis go together!"

"XELL-KUN BELONGS TO ME! ME!"

And the forgotten lemon fanfics, pictures, polls, and romance reasons blew away in the wind.

----

Afterword:

^^ Well, that was fun. Weird, and probably not very good, but fun to write. This was a bit of random insanity I thought up this morning, while I was lamenting about not being able to write my other Slayers fic *which is essentially my first slayers fic, and is actually a fairly serious canon romance*. In terms of the coupling here, let me establish that I don't support ZelgadisxMiwan. It just seemed like one of the craziest couples I could come up with at the moment... I actually prefer ZelxAmelia. Please don't take any of this fic personally, I was just having fun. And if I used your name in this fic, I did so unintentionally. I just picked random girl names for my fangirls. I did not base any of the fangirls on real people out there *'cept maybe me, a little... but I don't think that matters. ^^;* And this is my first posted slayers fic, so please be nice. Or at least use constructive criticism if you flame me.

And when I wrote this fic, I had to do a little 'research' on reasons for various couplings. My thanks to 'The Princess and the Chimera: A Zelgadis and Amelia Coupledom Shrine', 'Lisie's Cute Zelgadis Shrine', 'The Victory Shrine To Love', 'My Xellos and Zelgadis Couple shrine', and... That page that I forgot the name of that has many reasons for ZelxLina coupling (^^;), for providing me with reasons for the various couples.

And I have a sneaking suspicion that I copied someone else's fic in some way without realizing it. If that is true, I am really really really really sorry...