The Frog Emperor
***************
Akai: Da-
Kementari: KA!
Akai: No da
Kementari: KA KA!
Akai: Na no da!
Kementari: Kakaka!!!
Akai: Oo; We don't own FY na no da.
"A long long time ago in a place that was like Ancient China, (but wasn't),
there was an Emperor. The most handsome, attractive, best smelling, best
haired, most intelligent Emperor there ever was. His name was Hotohori,
which was a really good name because Hotohori sounds cool.Hotohori was
completely aware of his many talents, and often walked around showing them
off to the less fortunate in the looks department..
One day he was passing by a pond when out of nowhere, a frog appeared!
OK, so this frog's name was...uhm... Bob Marcus III. Yes. Bob Marcus
III. Bob Marcus III said to Hotohori, "Heika-sama, I am going to turn you
into a frog!"
"NAAANI?!" Hotohori exclaimed incredulously. Frogs were NOT pretty.
"Why!?"
Bob Marcus III shrugged. "Because I can. *ribbit*
POOF!! No longer stood the great, cute, handsome, beautiful, utterly
awesome and totally kawaii Emperor known as Hotohori but..
A frog.
A really ugly frog at that.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Hotohori wailed miserably as he stared at his froggy
hands. "I'm too beautiful to RIBBIT!" his tongue jumped out and he caught
a fly.
"Now you can sit here on this rock," Bob Marcus III said, "Or you can...
go in the pond. Have fun!"
And Bob Marcus III disappeared in a puff of smoke, leaving poor, non-kawaii
non-cute non-totally-utterly-shounen Hotohori with his rocks and bugs.
Just then, someone walked by. It was a monk with anti-gravity-hair-and-a-kitsune-mask-and-weird-speech-patterns. His name was Angsty Bishounen #27, aka Li Houjun, Aka Chichiri. Now, because most of the Suzaku Seishi were LAZY, not many of them actually PREPARED for being seishi .So only Chichiri could use magic no da. So un-shounen Hotohori knew he had found the right DAude.
"RIBBIT!! Chichiri!!" Hotohori yelled, jumping up and down on his froggy
legs. Chichiri stopped, looked around for a moment, then shrugged.
"CHICHIRI!!!" Hotohori said, hopping towards the blue-haired monk.
Chichiri perked up as he saw the frog. "No da!!" he jerked back and gasped.
"You're a frog no da!"
"It's me!! It's me!!" Hotohori pointed to himself. "THE EMPEROR!"
"Nn..nno..da!" Chichiri gasped. It had to be a trick of some sort,
since there's really no such thing as Emperors turning into frogs, though
princes wasn't unheard of. "Hotohori-sama?"
Chichiri stared. Blink. Stare. He took off his mask to better inspect
the frog, then fairly slammed it back on as the hoard of Rabid Fangirls
approached.
"D-da, you ARE Hotohori-sama na no da!!" He exclaimed as sullen-looking
fangirls retreated. "What's going on na no da?"
Hotohori was crying. In a kawaii-ish way, if frogs can do that.
"There was a frog, and he looked at me, and he cursed me and.." Hotohori
cried.
"No da," Chichiri lifted the ugly frog in his hand. "Don't worry Hotohori-sama
no da, we'll find a way to turn you back!"
Chichiri grabbed his kasa and stuck the frog deep inside, then set
the large hat on his head and sauntered back towards the palace.
Meanwhile, in the palace, there were two people.
One was a bandit.
One was a genius.
Both were Suzaku no Seishi.
And one was very, very drunk.
"Oi, Chiriko!" the red-haired seishi called to his studious comrade
over his wedontwannaknow cup of sake, "what's a duck!? Huaaaaa T.T"
And _I_ look up to _him_? Chiriko thought to himself irrately as he
proceded to write the kanji for "kagami".
Are you a Japanese student?
A kanji student?
A Chichiri fan?
Do you know how HARD the kanji for "kagami" is?
All right, with that said...
A great, looming shadow hung from the door, and it seemed to be a HUGE
warrior..
Holding a frog.
Tasuki, being the water-hating person he was, didn't like frogs. The
first thing in his mind was..
"AH!! BURN THE !*^**!** *!**! THING!!" he pulled out his tessen..
"NOO da!" Chichiri waved his hands frantically. "It's HOTOHORI!"
Chiriko laughed. Tasuki looked at Chichiri as if he'd just lost his
marbles.
"It's true!! It IS me!!" the frog whined.
"Ha! That's the !***^! funniest !**!^ I've heard all day!!" Tasuki
grinned. "So Chichiri, how'd you get the !*^*^! thing t'talk?"
Chichiri sweatdropped. "It really IS Hotohori-sama na no da!!"
Hotofroggy looked at the bearers of Wing and Stretching pleadingly.
Chiriko sighed and began to try to write "tigress" fritfully. This
was turning into sooome day... _Chichiri-san_ going bonkers...
"I believe ya," said Tasuki.
Chiriko raised an eyebrow. "Tasuki-san, are you still drunk?"
"No no no," Tasuki said dismissively. "How can ya NOT fsckin' believe
'em!? Think about it!!"
"Daaa?" said Chichiri kawaii-ily. Hotohori thought he heard a fangirish
rustle in the bushes. He turned, but saw nothing.
"Well, please explain yourself then, Tasuki," he stated calmly, albeit
a bit nervously.
"OK..." Tasuki started out.
"We've got #%^# symbols appearin' on our bodies."
"'cause of some #$%%@ bird."
*sweatdrop* "Ribbit gozaimasu...."
"We've met a pervert who changes his #$%@ age..."
"Uhm..." Chiriko said nervously.
"A guy who wears a fsckin' WASHER on his head..."
"DA!" Chichiri growled angrily. Several fangirlish sniffles...
"An' t'top it all off, no 'fense Chiriko-kun, yer majesty, but aintcha
fsckin' DEAD?!"
*sweatdrooooooooooooop*
"Tasuki seems to think the best when he's totally, utterly, intoxicated,"
Chiriko stated.
"SO WHAT THE HELL!!? WHY THE $%^$% SHOULDN'T I BELIEVE IT!?"
Everyone sweatdropped.
"He's right," a crankly voice crackled from behind Tasuki.
O.O "AIIIYIAHAH!!!! HOW MANY !*^*!^* TIMES HAVE I *!^*!^* TOLDJA NOT
TO !**^*^! SNEAK UP ON ME YOU LITTLE !*^**^!!!"
Kementari: Taiit..taii..spelling onegai?
Akai: *shrugs* I dunno...da?
ANYWAY...it was the mean-creepy faced lady that we don't know how to
spell name..
"No da! Can you help us?"
Taii-funny-lady floated towards Hotohori, examining his froggy legs
and arms. "He can be changed back, yes.."
"How?" Hotofroggy whimpered.
Taii-funny lady thought. "There is a legend.. that if a frog gets kissed
by a princess, he will change back."
This would have worked but, of course with every story that you need
a princess in, they're not there.
"What about Suzaku no Miko no Da?" Chichiri asked. "I mean, in the manga
no da, they sometimes are weird and translate it as "princess" na-"
"NO!!!!" came a Takahome-ish bellow from a few doors down. Everyone
sweatdropped.
"So, what do we do, Ta-Tai-Tai-Yi-Jun!!" Chiriko exclaimed happily,
remembering the manga variation.
"Yeah, how 'bout it, Sunakake Baba?"
*WHAP!!!*
"!$%^#$!!!"
Tasuki whimpered as he ran off to examine his fang. Chichiri set Hotofroggy
down on a table, then settled himself down in front of the mean cranky
weird lady.
"Well, we could always go out and look for one, no da." Chiriko brightened.
"You mean.. go on an adventure and find a princess?!"
"Hai no da!" ((Trunks is hot)) Chichiri beamed. "An adventure!"
So, Hotofroggy, Chichiri, Chiriko, and Tasuki (who was being dragged
along for the sake) all left for.. a princess.
