*Standard disclaimers*

Shisou: Chichiri

Behind the Mask



By Take (May 1998)





I watch them together, Miaka and Tamahome. They're laughing, eyes whispering secrets not meant for other eyes. They make a good couple. I can't help wondering what my life would have been like if.but it does no good to dwell on it. That's in the past, something to be forgotten in the daylight, and to be remembered in the darkest hours of the night.

I know the other Seishi view me as the perpetually smiling monk; the happy- go-lucky man whose joking, mischievous nature is at odds with the hostile situation Konan and Kutou has become. I'm sure they wonder how a monk such as I came by the jagged scar that mars the left side of my face. Wouldn't they be surprised if they knew?

Betrayal cuts deep; I learned that lesson well. My blind jealousy cost me more than just my eye. It cost me the woman I loved, and more importantly, the life of my best friend.

So let the other Seishi think what they like. I know what I am, what I have done.

I'd become a monk to atone for my sins. Ironically, magic has changed from penance to pleasure.

I learned that to survive, one must be able to laugh. For my Miko, for my fellow Seishi, I will laugh. Not for myself.

There are times when I find myself wishing that the Seiryuu Seishi would kill me, so that maybe, I can finally end this unstoppable flood of memories.

What lies behind the mask? A scarred and lonely man full of regrets, but slowly rebuilding his life. And a promise to protect the ones he loves, at the expense of his own life, if need be.





~Owari~