Title: Good Bye the Yellow Brick Road

Timeframe: AU

Ratings: PG-13. Angst

Summary: After years of thinking Obi-Wan had died, Qui finds him again, but he is no longer the Obi-Wan he used to be.

Disclaimer: The usual I don't own any of Lucas' SW characters. You all know which ones are mine and which ones aren't.

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The warm sun's ray caressed his hard-lined features as the gentle morning's breeze brushed by him. Slowly, he stirred awake and opened his heavy eyelids to greet the early dawn's light. It was beautiful. The landscape before him was strikingly magnificent.

There were luscious green grass all around him and the multicolored flora that intertwined with the green foliage wove an intricate pattern of exotic beauty and serenity.

If only the scenery before him could offer him a peace of mind.

Carefully, he tried to push himself off the wet soil. How long had he been there? Apparently all night long, but even so, it was not enough. Nothing he could do would ever be enough to quench his guilt. He stood up and brushed the dirt off his brown cloak. A prolonged sigh escaped from him. Dawn had come and it was another day, just like it had been for the last three years.

Another day to live and another day to mourn.

But today, this day in particular, was different.

The man began to walk across the long stretch of grass, but each step seemed so painfully heavy. He trudged his tall stature, step by step, until he reached a white fountain that sprouted clear blue water. The sight of the simple architectural structure made his eyes brimmed with tears. The clear blue water was just too reminiscent for comfort.

Today marked the third anniversary of that fateful day when his soul had died. It was a day he could not forget, or perhaps a day he needed to remember. His eyes closed reflexively and an image of a ginger hair boy instinctively filled his thoughts. A small smile crossed his face.

He could remember so distinctively those energetic blue-grey eyes that poured such warmth and love into his life, the impish grin that had brought him so many bouts of joy and laughter. But most of all, the genuine magnanimity of the boy's heart that served as a beacon of light, reflective of everything the Jedi Order stood for.

And now.everything was gone. The boy was gone.

The man fell to his knees as turbulent emotions engulfed him. Sorrow, anger, and guilt plagued him. His hand clutched the slender grass beneath him tightly, but the physical aggression proved futile to calm his waves of anger and resentment.

He was angry, angry at what had happened, angry at the Force for taking away the one thing he treasured most, but most of all, he was angry at himself.

"Early you are this morning, Qui-Gon" A voice broke his barrage of self- resentment.

He knew too well whom the voice belonged to and a sense of frustration immediately surfaced. Why couldn't he just be left alone? Immediately, he brought his shields up in an attempt to keep his anger and frustration from emanating.

"Master Yoda" He said without much emotion.

"Trying to shield from me I see. Hmmph. Not much that will do you." The diminutive Jedi Master hobbled over to Qui-Gon.

Qui-Gon didn't answer, but kept his eyes off toward the sunrise in the horizon.

"How feel you?" Yoda asked as he looked at Qui-Gon inquisitively.

"What?"

"Heard me I know you did." Yoda snorted. He rested his small chin on the small gimmer stick before him.

"I'm fine Master." Qui-Gon said with a hint of annoyance. He stood up and prepared to leave when he felt something whack him in the knee. Instinctively, he jumped to the side with a scowl and turned to face his former Master. "That was uncalled for."

"Through with you I am not, so sit down."

"Master." Qui-Gon began to protest when he saw a determined glance from Yoda. It was one of those eye glares that he knew he was in for a long discussion. "What do you wish to speak with me about?" Qui-Gon said with a sigh.

"Three years it's been today, yes?" Qui-Gon didn't answer. Yoda hobbled his way to the edge of the fountain and propelled himself on it. "Blame yourself you still do. Worried I am."

"Master, we've been through this."

"Been through you have not. Great self-resentment and anger I sense in you. Tell me your feeling is. Help you I will."

"I don't need any help. I'm fine!!!" Qui-Gon said angrily.

"Proved my point I have" Yoda said almost jovially.

Qui-Gon paused in silence. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Talk about it you must. Too long it has been."

"I told you, I DON'T want to talk about it. Why can't you and the rest of the Council just leave me alone?"

"Hmmph. Unable to deal with the loss, it is obvious. But blame yourself for Obi-Wan's death, you must not. No fault was yours." Qui-Gon didn't answer but looked away. "Most unfortunate what had happened, but fault lies not with you."

"You don't understand" Qui-Gon said softly, more so to himself.

"Reveal your reason is"

"I should have gone back for him."

"Priorities you had at time."

"He was my responsibility!!"

Yoda was silent.

"I left him there don't you understand?!!" Qui-Gon shouted vehemently. "I abandoned him, physically and emotionally." Yoda remained silent, listening intently to his former apprentice's emotional outburst. "I couldn't trust him.no, I couldn't trust myself. I blocked him out, kept him at bay and.now he's gone! So don't you tell me it wasn't my fault!!" Qui-Gon got up and prepared to leave.

"Years it's been. Time to let go. Move on you must. Want it, Obi-Wan would have" Yoda tried to reassure.

"No, that's where you're wrong. I can't move on." Qui-Gon said sadly. "It's a guilt I have to live with."

"Mysterious the Force is. Work in many ways it does."

"There are no more 'yellow brick roads' for me Master."

Qui-Gon walked away without a glance looking back. Tried as he might to remember the happy memories he had had with Obi-Wan, one image dominated his thoughts.

An image of those clear blue-grey eyes swelled up with unmistakable tears of bewilderment, hurt, and betrayal.

The eyes that longingly wanted to ask him why he would want to end the apprenticeship.

The eyes that held so much pain and anguish at his decision, but accepted such with great humility.

And the same blue-grey eyes that looked at him in defeat for the very last time.