Chapter 5

"Or at least I used to be" the young man finished.

"Clark" Clu whispered in amazement. "But you died 15 years ago. How are you here? You're supposed to be dead. And where is here?"

"Technically, I am dead"

"But that would mean that…I'm dead too" Clu said, shock filling his voice as the truth hit him. "But why now?"

Clark's heart broke as he saw the look on his baby brother's face. It broke even further when he thought about the fact that he was the cause of his brother's pain. He had been told to bring him here and he hadn't been able to break the orders. He had always said how much he wanted to be with his brothers again, but this wasn't the way he had wanted it to happen. Not so soon. Not while they were still so young. He'd known it would hurt Clu to bring him here ever since he was told to do it, but he hadn't had a choice. *Plus, how am I supposed to tell Clu that the reason he's here is to hurt Carey* he thought. He could hardly even believe he'd agreed to it in the first place….

Clu still couldn't believe what had happened. Or how it had happened. He felt exactly the same as he had when he was alive. If he didn't know better, he'd say he was still alive. But he did know better. He knew he was dead, but couldn't remember much about how it happened. The last thing he remembered was being hit by something sorta invisible that resembled a pixie, Leilani. *I was knocked out by a pixie!* Then he ended up here. Tears started welling up in his eyes as he thought of everyone he'd left behind. He thought how much this would hurt Carey, his parents, Fi, jack, Molly, and even Annie. He'd miss them all so much, especially Fi and Carey. He'd never be able to see them, or talk to them, or just be with them for such a longtime… He felt a tear run down his cheek.

Clark got up from his throne chair and walked to his baby brother's side as soon as he saw the first tear fall. He pulled him into a tight hug, something he hadn't done in so long. Clu broke down and sobbed heavily into his oldest brother's shoulder. Clark tried his best to comfort him, knowing all the while that he had caused Clu's pain. Eventually Clu's sobs subsided and he was able to talk. "What is this place?" he asked Clark.

"Um… this is a sort of limbo I guess. Few people ever come here, only when they have a special reason to have been brought here. Your body is dead, but your soul is still not totally gone from it. I've only seen about 10 other people in the time I've been here. Their souls eventually move on, but I'm here to stay, I guess."

It took a while for everything Clark had said to sink in, but once it did, Clu asked him a question that he didn't know how to answer without making things worse. "Why an I here then? I'm not special. I've got no mission. And why are you here? And how did you really die?"

Clark took a deep breath and started answering the only question he could…

[Fi's room, about 9 pm]

Fi stirred and woke up. She looked at Carey, who was still asleep with his head on her shoulder. But somehow, even though he was asleep, he was still crying. Tears were still flowing from his closed eyes, but not as heavily as they had before. She brushed the tears away and softly kissed his forehead. *He looks so sweet and innocent, so fragile* she thought. She stayed where she was for a while and then decided to get up. She started moving Carey gently so she could get her arm out, careful not to wake him. At that moment Carey stirred a bit and slowly opened his eyes to see Fi leaving.

"Don't let go" he pleaded, his miserable voice low and raspy.

She looked into those sad eyes, set in an even sadder, innocent face, and couldn't help but comply. *He looks so adorable* she thought, but instantly chased that thought away. It wasn't the right time for thoughts like that, even though she had gotten used to those thoughts ever since she'd come back on the tour. She wrapped her arms around him and let him lean into her, resting his head on her shoulder. He was still crying a bit, but fortunately not as much as before. She just held him like that until his sobs subsided and he had calmed down.

Carey was still in shock. It wasn't fair that Clu had died. *Why not me* he thought *Why Clu and not me?* The only thing that helped ease the pain and guilt any was knowing that Fi was still there, holding him. That he hadn't lost her too. He loved her so much, and now she was all he had left. Now, he'd have to look after her more than ever to make sure she wouldn't go like Clu and leave him all alone. Not only cause Fi had become his best friend, but also because he had slowly fallen totally in love with her. But he could never tell her, not without exposing himself to more pain, heartache, and embarrassment. Not without risking losing her friendship…

"Carey?" He was shaken out of his thoughts by the sound of Fi's voice. He shifted slightly and turned his head to look at her, letting her know she had his attention. She gathered her courage and asked him something, aware of the risk of making him break down again.

"Why were you saying not again before? Has it happened before?" Carey was surprised she'd even heard him, but decided to tell her anyway. She was the only person who would take him seriously and believe his story, not discard it as his imagination like his parents had done.

"Well…that's how Clark died too" Carey managed to say. Fi remembered that Clu and Carey had once had an older brother who had died soon after she was born. She had never actually met Clark, but she'd heard people mention him and had seen pictures of him.

"How exactly did he die?" she asked, hoping the question wouldn't upset Carey. He took a couple of deep breaths to calm down and started telling her the story…

~~~ [Flashback begins. Both Carey and Clark are experiencing it and telling it] ~~~

"Come on Clark, gimme the ball!" 4-year-old Carey whined.

"You're gonna have to catch me first!" 8-year-old Clark shouted as he started running around the back yard. The two older boys were playing outside while their parents were inside with Clu, their 2-year-old baby brother. Clark was supposed to be watching Carey, making sure he didn't get in trouble, but they usually ended up watching out for each other. Carey was only four, but he already felt it was his duty to watch out for both his brothers.

Carey chased Clark into the front yard, but he was still far behind his older brother. They continued the chase until Clark tripped, making the ball fly out of his hands. It rolled onto the sidewalk and then into the very edge of the street. Carey saw his chance and ran towards it. He didn't notice an oncoming car that was swerving wildly on the street.

The car kept getting closer and closer, still swerving wildly, sometimes onto the sidewalks. Clark noticed the car coming closer to his little brother. "Carey watch out!" he shouted as loud as he could, running towards his brother. Carey turned and saw the car just as Clark pushed him out of the way. He saw the car go past, hitting neither him nor Clark. He looked around and saw Clark lying on the street. As far as Carey could understand, his brother was simply sleeping in the street. He walked over and shook Clark, trying to wake him up cause he knew it wasn't smart to sleep in the street.

Clark felt himself get hit by something, but he knew it wasn't the car cause it passed right by him. He fell to the ground and felt everything go black for a while. Then he woke up and stood up, but he realized that he could still see himself lying there and Carey crying. *What's going on?* he thought as he viewed the scene before him.

"Clark, come on, wake up" Carey said as he shook his brother. He suddenly realized that Clark wasn't gonna wake up and he yelled for his parents to come out of the house. He started crying thinking that whatever was wrong with Clark was his fault. He hugged his brother fiercely, and saw him suddenly start glowing. Then he saw Clark turn into a bunch of little rainbow-colored bubbles that then disappeared. He then saw his parents come running out of the house.

They saw him crying and asked him what had happened and where Clark was. Carey explained exactly what had happened, but his parents said that it wasn't possible. That he was just seeing things. Ned and Irene pulled him into a hug and held him while a neighbor told them a more believable version of how their oldest son had died. Carey just cried, wondering why no one believed the truth, and blaming himself totally for what had happened to his brother. *He's dead cause I ran in front of that car. I helped kill him.* he thought, mentally beating himself up. He had killed his brother and would never see him again. He kept crying until he eventually fell asleep in his dad's arms.

Clark suddenly felt as if he was being broken into pieces, but it didn't hurt. He saw himself start glowing and then turn into a bunch of bubbles. He then felt everything go out of focus for a while. Then it went back to normal. He was in a room full of short girls who were talking to him excitedly. They told him he was to be their ruler. He believed them and asked for no further explanation for the moment.

~~~ [End of flashback] ~~~

[Back in Fi's room]

"That's pretty much what happened. And today…it happened again." He felt like crying but no more tears would come..

"Oh Carey…" Fi said. She knew what it was like to lose a loved one. "Poor you, having to live through that twice…" He looked so sad and so worn out. She pulled Carey into a tight hug and held him like that for a while.

Just then the door opened and Annie walked into the room, followed by Jack.

"Hey…" Annie started saying, but stopped. Fi noticed her and pulled away from Carey a bit. Annie looked really tired and that made Fi look at her watch. It was almost 11pm. That made her realize that Annie had probably come in here to sleep.

Carey realized he would probably have to go back to his room. "But I can't go in there" he whispered to Fi. Fi thought about what he had said and came up with a solution. But it would only work if Annie agreed. Meanwhile, Annie had realized what the problem was, and was thinking the same as Fi was.

"Annie, would it be ok with you if Carey takes your bed and you sleep in the boys' room?" Fi asked. Annie instantly agreed, but she saw that Jack was about to object. She gave him a look that made him shut up. The hand she clamped over his mouth helped too. Carey looked gratefully at both Fi and Annie.

They all went to change. Then they all retreated to their rooms and went to bed. Fi hugged Carey goodnight one last time before she went to her own bed and they both fell asleep, worn out by the day's events.