Stuff- this is the longest chapterall the ones afterwards are kinda short.

Fanfiction

S- What you reading red?
W- What? Oh nothing its just some fanfiction I printed off my computer.
B- Hey all! What's that Will?
W- It's just a fanfiction.
B- All right lets see it then.

New Recruit
Riley was on patrol…

B- I like it already.
S- Shut up Slayer.

…With the new recruit Eric. Clearly he was a man of military experience, but unwilling to talk about his past.

S- Bloody Initiative!

Riley accepted- he'd heard that this one had been in the Gulf war, and war was hard on a guy. The Initiative was different from the army, perhaps not easier. But then a change was as good as a rest, wasn't it?

W- That doesn't make sense!
B- It's a saying will

Eric looked confident in his new role. Sure he'd reacted in disbelief at first, everyone did. But once he'd seen the hostiles for himself,

S- Why? What's so Unbelievable about us?
B- yeah and who's Eric there's noone in the initiative called Eric!
W- Yeah buff that's why they call it Fanfiction not Encyclopaedia's

…He'd known that Walsh was telling the truth.

B- I thought Maggie was Dead.

And after training with Eric himself, Riley knew that he was easily strong and fit enough for the Initiative.

S- see slayer captain cardboard had to do the training twice.
B- It doesn't say that!
S- But think about it. He trained to join right and then he had to train again with this Eric guy.
B- Shut up Spike!

"So where should we be looking for these hostiles?" asked Eric. Riley gestured towards the graveyard.
"You have to be kidding right?"

S- So the new guy is thick as well as Slayer boy.
B- Spike once more and you'll fit in an ashtray!

Eric's voice was uncertain, wondering if Riley was winding him up.
"Nope there are more here than anywhere else in town." Riley told him matter-of-factly.

W- What about 'Willy's Place'?
S- See what did I say idiots.
B- Spike? (Holding up stake)
S- Sing me a new one sometime Slayer that ones gone stale.

"I guess everyone has their traditions or whatever. Va…hostiles, graveyards and lets face it, where else have they got to run to?"

S- Run! We never Run!

"Good point" then they hopped the wall and were in the graveyard.
Spike listened to the footsteps approaching, and exhaled the cigarette smoke slowly.

S- Yes! Here at last.
W/B- Woo hoo (sarcastically)

Before inhaling the night air through his nose. He was surprised to detect that these were humans headed this way. Well it was either the slayer's lot or just some damned idiots…

S- see I was right.

Or both, knowing what the slayer's friends were like,

W- Spike!
S- What it wasn't me, It was fanfiction Spike!
W- hmmm

Either way, it looked like he would be getting some action tonight.

B- yeah then Buffy comes along, Beats the crap out of Spike then stakes him!
S- In your dreams Slayer.

He peered out from behind a gravestone. Two youngish men in army get up? Odd. Both human, heavily armed, but without stakes or axes or anything that might actually hurt him.

B- Spike, Riley could beat you no weapons needed.
S- Oooh I'm scared!

-Clearly they were Idiots. Right well a meal was a meal, time to go and play with the food.

B- but of course he doesn't get very far because Buffy is just behind the next headstone ready to save Riley!
S- I thought you said soldier boy could take me Slayer!

"Evening" he greeted them, stepping out about a meter in front of them. He waited until they adjusted their eyes to focus on him. It wasn't that dark, surely there was even a moon tonight.

S- and blind as well, he must be to be going out with Slutty here. Ow watch it Slayer!
B- Oops, silly me. My hand must have slipped.

He paused again to look at the shorter one, who looked strangely familiar-, a face resembling one he had seen along time ago.

B- And as it turns out it was Drucilla dressed up as a man because she always wanted to be a soldier.
S- Bite your tongue!

"Hostile" muttered the bulky one, before looking closely at him, back to his friend, and back to Spike again.

B- Which one's the bulky one?
W- Well if the short one is Eric then the bulky one must be Riley.

Well that was the least insulting thing he had ever been called. Didn't the army train people to come up with decent insults?
"Me? Hostile?" asked Spike.

B- See Spike you admitted it you couldn't be hostile if you tried.
S- Just you wait Slayer!

"What makes you think that? You're the ones with the big guns pointed at me." But they weren't listening.

B- Because noone listens to Spike.

"How is it possible?" asked the shorter one.
"One more step and your dead soldier boy!"
"What are you?" Spike frowned; usually he had to turn to his game-face before questions like that started.

B- No Spike, They're shocked by your hair I think.
S- There's nothing wrong with my hair, ever look in the mirror Slayer.
B- Well I know you don't.

"Eric, step back, its some kind of trick!" the other one said. This did nothing to lessen Spike's frown, he was sure he'd remember if he'd played a trick on them. He'd be laughing at them by now,

W- that always gives it away.
S- What?
W- Laughing when you play a trick on someone cos then they know it's a trick.
B- You think too much!

It seamed to have dragged them this far from boot camp.
"I can handle it Riley." Said Eric,
"I want to know why he's got my face."

S- My face!

"Got your face?" Spike almost laughed.
"If I had your face it would be torn off your body by now" Riley just looked at him wide-eyed.

S- Slayer you sure he's not a poofter.
B- What's a poofter?

"Not like that- you're his exact double! Don't tell me you didn't notice. Your sorts' meant to have pretty good night vision right"

S- Hmm 'My sort' stupid nancy boy!

"Right and I can see perfectly, he's nothing like me. Lets see- khaki? I don't think so. The hair's a few shades darker than the bleach I used on mine, and he's got a bloody suntan for god's sake. Plus he's a yank."

W- Your hair would look good darker.
S- I like my hair.

"Yeah but apart from that, you look exactly like me." Eric said
"Even I can see that. Aren't there any mirrors in this town."

S- To coin a popular Sunnydale phrase…Duh!

"I've not seen myself in a mirror in a hundred years mate." Spike told them trying to remember if he really did look like that!

B- Like what?
S/W- Eric!
B- Oh right.

If so it wasn't too bad, at least he wasn't being compared to that brick faced pillock,

B- Spike!
S- What?
B- stop insulting Riley, he's better looking than you any day!
W- Well actually, personally I think…
B- Will!
W- Sorry.

"Related" suggested Riley.
"You're his long lost twin hostile or something?"

S- How can I be if I'm over a hundred?

"Not likely." Said Spike.
"I never had any brothers…

S- how does the author know that.
W- Lucky guess.

…Plus I killed my parents along with most of my extended family as I was turned."

S- Hey! How'd they know that?

"My god" Eric said and Spike grinned at the shock in his eyes. Safe to say they didn't share personalities at least.
"Its what they do." Riley informed him grimly. Well maybe he wasn't entirely clueless after all. Evan though he was in a graveyard in Sunnydale, in the middle of the night.

S- Now that is stupid.

"I know but still…"
"Hey you live on the Hellmouth that's what you get." Spike said.
"No soul, no guilt, and I'm pretty hungry now, I don't care who you think I look like, the only question on my mind is which one of you is going to die first."

S- Riley! Riley! Riley!
B- Why do I put up with this?

"Not gonna happen bud." Riley replied and fired the weapon at him. About a million volts of electricity shot through his body and Spike was floored.

S- Look! Buggers shot me!
B- Aww poor Spike.

He struggled back to his feet before they could fire that at him again. Damn, now they had real weapons in the army? Just his luck. But he wasn't beaten yet.

B- No, but any second now.
S- Not bloody likely, I've read the last bit.
W- Spike!
S- what? I got bored.

"Hey" he called out, holding up his hands.
"If you kill me now, I wont be able to tell you what I have to say." Eric looked at Riley, and motioned him to step back. Spike waited until they'd lowered the guns, and then sat up on the table-like gravestone.

W- Cue cigarette.
S- Am I that predictable?
B- Yes!

"Well?" Asked Riley after a long pause in which noone said anything.
"Well What?" Asked Spike who was enjoying irritating them.

B- Where you born this big a pain in the ass?
S- What can I tell you baby? I've always been bad!

"Well tell us why you look so much like him!" he exclaimed angrily.

W- Can Riley even get angry?
S- Good point Red.
B- What is this gang up on Buffy?

"I haven't a clue" Said Spike.
"And if I did do you think I would just tell you like that?"
"I think you would like to save your sorry ass"…

S- (In hysterical laughter) Oh look at the puffed up manly man.
B- He could so kick your ass!
S- I'd like to see him try.
B- It can be arranged.

…Riley said trying but failing to intimidate Spike.
"I'd have thought you would be interested in saving yourselves to." Said Spike.
" This is Sunnydale. It's the graveyard. You don't need me to tell you this place is crawling with vamps"

S- And yet again duh!

"Hostiles" corrected Eric, almost automatically.
"Don't tell me what I am." Said Spike

B- What, a neutered Vampire that couldn't be bad if he tried.
S- What am I a broken record I'm Bad.

"I'm just trying to let you know that a bunch of your 'Hostiles' are right back there, and if you'd stop letting yourself get distracted by the best looking one, you would have seen them."

B- what are you smiling like that for?
S- Its true, and three guesses which part.
B- Hostiles (Same
W- Good-looking time)
W- I didn't just say that!
S- oh come on red everyone fancies me.

They turned, and peered through the darkness.
"I don't see them…" Said Riley, turning back, to find there was another one he couldn't see, Spike was gone.

B- Spike, what was that about running away?
W- (Quoting) He who fights and runs way lives to fight another day.

Eric cursed, and ran into the graveyard, trying to guess what way Spike had gone. Riley went the other way, one of them was going to find him sooner enough.

S- Riley ran all the way home to Buffy for protection because he got scared.

Riley heard the clunk of heavy stone from one of the crypts on his right, and ran into it, gun ready.

B- And sent so much voltage through Spike his head exploded.
W- Then the crypt has Spike covered walls, very trendy.
S- What is this? Another round of kick the Spike.

Unfortunately, the five vampires in this crypt where equally ready, and all set on Riley at once, who managed to Zap one of them before being mauled by the others.

B- Spike you can stop dancing its only a fanfiction. And Will I thought you liked Riley?
W- Sorry Buff, I got caught up in the moment (Willow looked embarrassed as she and Spike climbed off the table)

"Goodbye Buffy" he called out silently to the night, as his heart was torn from his chest.

W- Aw that's sweet.
S- what? The Buffy part or the bit where he gets hi heart ripped out?

Spike found a hiding place behind a tree,

B- Hiding now are we?

And crouched low to the ground, hearing Eric getting closer with every step. Then he rocked back on his heels to gain a little comfort, and heard a twig snap. Damn.

B- Yeah clever Spike! I hope Eric beats you to a pulp.

Eric walked stealthily over to the tree, and when Spike leapt out at him game-faced, dropped his gun.

W- I always wondered how you do that?
S- What?
W- Make your face all bumpy?
S- Oh its easy, when you get turned the muscles in your face get all deformed and…
B- You have no idea do you?
S- Not a clue!

However, he had the presence of mind to wrench a branch from another tree.

B- That's more like it.

"Hey you know that stick is a much better weapon than your fancy artillery." Spike informed the soldier.

S- Look at you Slayer, you go all wide-eyed when anyone mentions bits of wood its weird.

"You'd do good to remember that"
"I don't know much about who you are, but I know I'm meant to bring you in alive."

S- What so all those guys in lab coats can mess around in my head with their bloody computer chips!
W- Calm down.
B- You really have a thing for him don't you?
W- No, of course I don't.

Eric told him.
"And why the hell do you look so much like me?"
"I'm hardly likely to bloody well tell you if you've got me at the end of a stake." Spike said.
"You think I'll just tell you your information and then let you kill me? Not a chance!"

S- See Slayer you hear the words 'Spike' and 'Stake' in the same sentence and you go into a little dream world.
W- I think it a very dusty one.

"Look, Ok, we'll do this your way." Eric conceded, dropping the branch…

B- Idiot
W- so, you're back with us.
B- Please let this story have a dusty ending.

…But staying a safe distance away.
"What's your name?"
"Spike"
"What's your real name?" he asked.
"Bugger off, its none of your business." Spike told him annoyed.
"What's yours?"
"Eric Swan"

W- Right now I get it; he's that guy from millennium.
S- he doesn't look anything like me!
W- he does so!
S- Ok then maybe a little.

"Right, good, so where did your parents come from? Or grandparents? Any London ancestry?" Spike was curious to solve the mystery as well.
"Yeah my great-great-grandmother was English." He said
"Anne Marsters"

S- Annie! How does he know Annie?
B/W- Annie?
S- My little sister.
W- You have a sister?
S- Well, had.

Spike's mouth fell open. That was his last name. His surname that he hadn't told anyone in over a centaury, and Anne had been the baby.

S- How the hell do they know all this?
W- That's your name?
S- Yeah, so?
W- William Marsters?
S- Well not anymore.
B- What, so its Spike Marsters
W- Or even better William 'The Bloody' Marsters

The baby, of course! He hadn't bothered to kill her, because she wouldn't have been much of a meal, and nobody had expected her to live anyway. She'd had the whooping cough,

S- Bloody hell!
W- What?
S- That's true as well!

And Spike left her alone. Maybe someone had found her and taken her in, and she'd grown up, married left London. It all made sense now.
"So, you're my baby sisters great-great-grandchild" Spike said.
"Pleased to meet you"

W- You think it could be true.
B- What?
W- The thing about Anne growing up, what if there's some relative of Spike's walking around out there?

"You to, you know there's a lot to be learned about the past, if we just talked to the hostiles instead of went out and killed them all the time, it could be a massive opportunity. Just think your living history!"

S- sounds more like he's related to Giles than me!

Bloody hell, now the soldier boy was sounding like a watcher.
"Yeah that's true I suppose." Spike agreed, stepping forwards to close the distance between them, face still amiable and disarming.
"But then there is a pretty good reason why you shouldn't talk to guys like me all the time"

B- Cos they can be a terrible bore.

"Why?" asked Eric, brow knotted in a frown,
"We're Evil" Spike said simply, and then snapped the man's neck, a trick which came considerably more easy to vampires than humans. It was all in the angle.

S- Well, I'm off out.
W- Why?
S- Now because of that bloody fanfiction I'm bloody paranoid about having realities, I need a drink!
B- Well we should really get back to the dorm, come on will.
W- no you go on ahead, I'll lock up the shop. I'll be out in a minuet.

Spike and Buffy left, Willow shoved the fanfiction in her bag and tidied up a bit. On her way out as she turned the lights out she turned back to the room.
"Willow Marsters, I could live with that." Then the door closed after her.