Second chapter. But I guess you already guessed that, huh?
2. "Toto, I don't think we're on the Disc anymore."
And as Death had said, five minutes later five figures dropped on the floor. Four of them looked rather old, the other like
he was in his twenties. The other big difference was that younger one was skinny, while three of the other four looked
rather chubby. The fourth one looked like he exercised on a regular basis. The four had impressive beards, while the younger
one didn't look like he needed to shave in the next few weeks. After a couple of seconds, someone landed on the heap. "Six?
There's six of 'em!" Buffy said, after the sixth had dropped.
"Gee Buff, good to see you finally got that counting problem under control." After a death-glare from Buffy, Xander decided
to shut up.
The heap started to move, and the one on top jumped off rather quickly. He was carrying a camera, a small cage filled with
salamanders, looked rather pale and was wearing dark glasses. Buffy took out her stake, and got ready to kill this vampire,
but he jumped behind the heap.
"Vait, vait! Do not kill me, I am a black ribbon vampire! I stopped drinking zer B-vord a very lonk time ako."
"Say what?"
"I meant I no lonker drink zer, zer, blood." The vampire replied, obviously uncomfortable with 'zer B-vord'.
"Yeah right! And I'm supposed to believe that!" Buffy was getting more irritated by the minute. Vampires everywhere, but
could she kill one? Nope.
"I can proof it, younk lady, if you give me vun minute." He produced a certificate from his coat, and gave to Willow, who
was standing near him.
"'Uberwald Temperance Movement'." She read aloud. "There's some official talk that I can't really understand, but at the
bottom it says: 'The bearer of this certificate, Mr. Otto Chriek has pledged not to drink blood (or the b-word) again.' It
has his signateure down here." She looked at the vampire, who was still hidng behind the unconscious heap of wizards.
"Where's your ribbon then? According to this, you're supposed to carry it whereever you go." The vampire took a black
ribbon out of his pocket, and showed it to everyone. "Well, he's alright, I think." Willow concluded.
"He's alright? He's alright? He's a vampire! They're evil! Remember MY purpose in life? I kill them, 'cause they kill
people!" Buffy though a bit about her sudden outburst. "Well, except for Angel, 'cause he has a soul."
Giles had taken the certificate, and was reading it. "Buffy, this looks pretty official, and although I see your point, I
think we should give this Otto a chance."
Buffy sighed. "Fine."
The vampire smiled. "Zank you. Vould you mind if I took a picture of you? You zee, I am a iconographer." He held his camera
up. "I take pictures." The gang looked awkward at each other, but decided to go along. "Alright everybody, smile!" He held
up his cage of salamanders, and the camera clicked. The salamanders emitted a bright flash of light, and when everybody was
able to see again, Otto was gone.
"I told you we shouldn't trust him! He probably ran off." Xander concluded, when he saw Otto was missing.
Buffy looking at the pile of dust surrounding the camera. "I don't think so, Xand." She pointed at the pile.
"Oh. Well, saves you some time, doesn't it?" Xander said with a smile.
"Vat vere you sayink?" The familiar voice asked behind them.
Xander stared disbelievingly at the vampire. The others seconded it.
"Vat? You are lookink like you never zaw vampire before." He asked.
"Well, the ones we see don't turn back to life." Buffy replied, still wondering how he had gotten back.
"Ah, zat is eazy to ekzplain. In case of emergenzies, like zis vun, I alvays carry a bit of B-vord vit me." He smiled.
"Th-That's certainly a clever solution." Giles said, after calming down from the shock.
"Zank you." He took out the picture, and gave it to Giles. It was like a small painting of the group.
When the heap of wizards began the stir, and the one on the bottom to moan with pain, the group turned to Otto. "So, Otto,
what's with your friends here, who are they?" Xander asked, pointing to the heap.
Otto looked at it. "Ah yes, zer wizards. Very nice people, I vas interviewing zer Archchancellor, for zer newspaper, and all
off a zudden, here I am. Quite a zurprise, I can tell you. As far as I know, zey are all wizards." He pointed to the older,
least chubby one. "That is zer Archchancellor, Ridcully. I do not know zer others, sorry."
The heap started to move more, and muffled sounds came from it. "Who is lying on my bottom? I demand that person gets off
my bottom immediately!" And "Where am I? Where are we?". The one who Otto had called Ridcully said: "Right. Colleagues, find
out whoever's on top, and let that one get off us this instance!" And so, the one on top got off, and they all managed to
stand up, some with a little help. Ridcully had inspected the room, and was now inspecting some of Buffy's crossbows.
"Hey, you can't touch those! They're dangerous!" Buffy warned the older man.
"I should hope so, little girl, otherwise they would be off no use!" He replied and took one out. "Hmm, this looks like a
good one. Where did you order it?" He tested it on the dummy, and shot it in the head. "Very good."
The other four had wondered off to the shop, two of them sitting in a chair, one other sitting on the floor, and the
youngest reading some books. "Excuse me, gentlemen, but this is my shop." Giles said. The three nodded to him, and two of
them continued their discussion, while the other was staring into space. The other one ignored him. Giles looked at Otto in
desperation, who shrugged.
In the training room Buffy had convinced Ridcully to let go of the bow, and were entering the shop. "I see you've already
met some off my fine staff," Ridcully announced with glee. He pointed to the two in the chairs. "They're the Dean and the
Senior Wrangler," And the mention of their title, they nodded. He pointed to the one on the floor. "That's the Bursar." He
was still staring into space. "Bursar? Bursar! Meet these people, will you!" He shouted to the man, who nodded to acknowledge
their presence. Ridcully turned to the others. "He's bit cuckoo in the brain, but brilliant when it comes to numbers. And
the last one is our young researcher, and our Professor in Invisible Writing, mister Stibbons." Stibbons waved a bit,
still reading.
The Senior Wrangler had gotten up. "Well, now you know who we are, so do you mind telling us how to get home, because it's
almost dinnertime, you know." He patted on his big stomach.
"Uh, we'd be happy to, but all we know is that Death send you here." Willow stammered, surprised by how these wizards were
acting.
"Death eh? Leave it to him to send us around wherever he bloody well pleases." Ridcully said. "But that's easily solved,
men, let's do the ol' ritual!" The others looked a bit glum. Except for the Bursar, who hadn't heared it.
"Sir, I don't mind summoning demons, that's prefectly natural, but Death?" The Dean said, still sitting comfortably.
"And besides, we don't have a fresh egg." The Senior Wrangler added.
"Oh, we don't need that, HEX thinks two tomatoes and a bit of mayonaise are enough." Ponder said, putting the book away.
Buffy looked at Ridcully. "Hex? There's another one of you around here?"
"Oh no, no. HEX is our thinking machine." Ponder replied.
Willow was a bit dissapointed. These guys didn't look like wizards she could learn something from. But now Stibbons had
mentioned something she knew things about. "Thinking machine? You mean a computer. I didn't know wizards used computers."
Ponder looked surprised. "Computer?" He thought a bit. "It does seem to be an approriate name. How do you know about it?"
"We have similar things in our world."
"OUR world? You mean we're not on the disc anymore?!" The Dean yelled, shocked.
"Yes, Dean, didn't you pay attention? They just said Death had send us here." The Senior Wrangler looked smug.
"You're actually on a planet called Earth." Giles informed them. "It's round, like a ball."
"Round? That's bizarre! You'd fall off." Ridcully stated.
"No, there's thing called gravity, and it keeps us from falling off." Xander explained.
"So, this gravity, is that your god?" Ponder asked, interested in this new planet.
"No, it's a physical thing, it's just there. We don't worship it, it just is." Xander said, not knowing how to explain it
any further.
"Well, I for one don't take any of this nonsence. A ball-formed planet doesn't make sense, everybody knows that. You'd fall
off, no matter how many 'gravity' you have. Just sail towards the horizon, little girl, and you'll fall off in no time." The
Dean wasn't someone who accepted new views easily, and didn't trust any foreigner.
"That's it! I've had with you so-called wizards! You fall from the sky, you try out my crossbows, you sit in chairs like
you own them, and you just take books!" She grabbed the book from Ponder, who was a bit shocked by this sudden outburst.
"Toto, I don't think we're on the Disc anymore." The Bursar announced, happily.
And here ends this chapter. Leave your review in the little box below!
2. "Toto, I don't think we're on the Disc anymore."
And as Death had said, five minutes later five figures dropped on the floor. Four of them looked rather old, the other like
he was in his twenties. The other big difference was that younger one was skinny, while three of the other four looked
rather chubby. The fourth one looked like he exercised on a regular basis. The four had impressive beards, while the younger
one didn't look like he needed to shave in the next few weeks. After a couple of seconds, someone landed on the heap. "Six?
There's six of 'em!" Buffy said, after the sixth had dropped.
"Gee Buff, good to see you finally got that counting problem under control." After a death-glare from Buffy, Xander decided
to shut up.
The heap started to move, and the one on top jumped off rather quickly. He was carrying a camera, a small cage filled with
salamanders, looked rather pale and was wearing dark glasses. Buffy took out her stake, and got ready to kill this vampire,
but he jumped behind the heap.
"Vait, vait! Do not kill me, I am a black ribbon vampire! I stopped drinking zer B-vord a very lonk time ako."
"Say what?"
"I meant I no lonker drink zer, zer, blood." The vampire replied, obviously uncomfortable with 'zer B-vord'.
"Yeah right! And I'm supposed to believe that!" Buffy was getting more irritated by the minute. Vampires everywhere, but
could she kill one? Nope.
"I can proof it, younk lady, if you give me vun minute." He produced a certificate from his coat, and gave to Willow, who
was standing near him.
"'Uberwald Temperance Movement'." She read aloud. "There's some official talk that I can't really understand, but at the
bottom it says: 'The bearer of this certificate, Mr. Otto Chriek has pledged not to drink blood (or the b-word) again.' It
has his signateure down here." She looked at the vampire, who was still hidng behind the unconscious heap of wizards.
"Where's your ribbon then? According to this, you're supposed to carry it whereever you go." The vampire took a black
ribbon out of his pocket, and showed it to everyone. "Well, he's alright, I think." Willow concluded.
"He's alright? He's alright? He's a vampire! They're evil! Remember MY purpose in life? I kill them, 'cause they kill
people!" Buffy though a bit about her sudden outburst. "Well, except for Angel, 'cause he has a soul."
Giles had taken the certificate, and was reading it. "Buffy, this looks pretty official, and although I see your point, I
think we should give this Otto a chance."
Buffy sighed. "Fine."
The vampire smiled. "Zank you. Vould you mind if I took a picture of you? You zee, I am a iconographer." He held his camera
up. "I take pictures." The gang looked awkward at each other, but decided to go along. "Alright everybody, smile!" He held
up his cage of salamanders, and the camera clicked. The salamanders emitted a bright flash of light, and when everybody was
able to see again, Otto was gone.
"I told you we shouldn't trust him! He probably ran off." Xander concluded, when he saw Otto was missing.
Buffy looking at the pile of dust surrounding the camera. "I don't think so, Xand." She pointed at the pile.
"Oh. Well, saves you some time, doesn't it?" Xander said with a smile.
"Vat vere you sayink?" The familiar voice asked behind them.
Xander stared disbelievingly at the vampire. The others seconded it.
"Vat? You are lookink like you never zaw vampire before." He asked.
"Well, the ones we see don't turn back to life." Buffy replied, still wondering how he had gotten back.
"Ah, zat is eazy to ekzplain. In case of emergenzies, like zis vun, I alvays carry a bit of B-vord vit me." He smiled.
"Th-That's certainly a clever solution." Giles said, after calming down from the shock.
"Zank you." He took out the picture, and gave it to Giles. It was like a small painting of the group.
When the heap of wizards began the stir, and the one on the bottom to moan with pain, the group turned to Otto. "So, Otto,
what's with your friends here, who are they?" Xander asked, pointing to the heap.
Otto looked at it. "Ah yes, zer wizards. Very nice people, I vas interviewing zer Archchancellor, for zer newspaper, and all
off a zudden, here I am. Quite a zurprise, I can tell you. As far as I know, zey are all wizards." He pointed to the older,
least chubby one. "That is zer Archchancellor, Ridcully. I do not know zer others, sorry."
The heap started to move more, and muffled sounds came from it. "Who is lying on my bottom? I demand that person gets off
my bottom immediately!" And "Where am I? Where are we?". The one who Otto had called Ridcully said: "Right. Colleagues, find
out whoever's on top, and let that one get off us this instance!" And so, the one on top got off, and they all managed to
stand up, some with a little help. Ridcully had inspected the room, and was now inspecting some of Buffy's crossbows.
"Hey, you can't touch those! They're dangerous!" Buffy warned the older man.
"I should hope so, little girl, otherwise they would be off no use!" He replied and took one out. "Hmm, this looks like a
good one. Where did you order it?" He tested it on the dummy, and shot it in the head. "Very good."
The other four had wondered off to the shop, two of them sitting in a chair, one other sitting on the floor, and the
youngest reading some books. "Excuse me, gentlemen, but this is my shop." Giles said. The three nodded to him, and two of
them continued their discussion, while the other was staring into space. The other one ignored him. Giles looked at Otto in
desperation, who shrugged.
In the training room Buffy had convinced Ridcully to let go of the bow, and were entering the shop. "I see you've already
met some off my fine staff," Ridcully announced with glee. He pointed to the two in the chairs. "They're the Dean and the
Senior Wrangler," And the mention of their title, they nodded. He pointed to the one on the floor. "That's the Bursar." He
was still staring into space. "Bursar? Bursar! Meet these people, will you!" He shouted to the man, who nodded to acknowledge
their presence. Ridcully turned to the others. "He's bit cuckoo in the brain, but brilliant when it comes to numbers. And
the last one is our young researcher, and our Professor in Invisible Writing, mister Stibbons." Stibbons waved a bit,
still reading.
The Senior Wrangler had gotten up. "Well, now you know who we are, so do you mind telling us how to get home, because it's
almost dinnertime, you know." He patted on his big stomach.
"Uh, we'd be happy to, but all we know is that Death send you here." Willow stammered, surprised by how these wizards were
acting.
"Death eh? Leave it to him to send us around wherever he bloody well pleases." Ridcully said. "But that's easily solved,
men, let's do the ol' ritual!" The others looked a bit glum. Except for the Bursar, who hadn't heared it.
"Sir, I don't mind summoning demons, that's prefectly natural, but Death?" The Dean said, still sitting comfortably.
"And besides, we don't have a fresh egg." The Senior Wrangler added.
"Oh, we don't need that, HEX thinks two tomatoes and a bit of mayonaise are enough." Ponder said, putting the book away.
Buffy looked at Ridcully. "Hex? There's another one of you around here?"
"Oh no, no. HEX is our thinking machine." Ponder replied.
Willow was a bit dissapointed. These guys didn't look like wizards she could learn something from. But now Stibbons had
mentioned something she knew things about. "Thinking machine? You mean a computer. I didn't know wizards used computers."
Ponder looked surprised. "Computer?" He thought a bit. "It does seem to be an approriate name. How do you know about it?"
"We have similar things in our world."
"OUR world? You mean we're not on the disc anymore?!" The Dean yelled, shocked.
"Yes, Dean, didn't you pay attention? They just said Death had send us here." The Senior Wrangler looked smug.
"You're actually on a planet called Earth." Giles informed them. "It's round, like a ball."
"Round? That's bizarre! You'd fall off." Ridcully stated.
"No, there's thing called gravity, and it keeps us from falling off." Xander explained.
"So, this gravity, is that your god?" Ponder asked, interested in this new planet.
"No, it's a physical thing, it's just there. We don't worship it, it just is." Xander said, not knowing how to explain it
any further.
"Well, I for one don't take any of this nonsence. A ball-formed planet doesn't make sense, everybody knows that. You'd fall
off, no matter how many 'gravity' you have. Just sail towards the horizon, little girl, and you'll fall off in no time." The
Dean wasn't someone who accepted new views easily, and didn't trust any foreigner.
"That's it! I've had with you so-called wizards! You fall from the sky, you try out my crossbows, you sit in chairs like
you own them, and you just take books!" She grabbed the book from Ponder, who was a bit shocked by this sudden outburst.
"Toto, I don't think we're on the Disc anymore." The Bursar announced, happily.
And here ends this chapter. Leave your review in the little box below!
