CHAPTER 4 - Cordelia's secret.
The minutes felt like days. That night proved to be a long one for all of them.
Angel knelt beside the big couch, where Cordelia's sleeping form rested in a not so peaceful sleep. But she was sleeping. Finally. She needed her rest and that's all that mattered.
For now.
His hands seemed to tremble momentarily. His hands never trembled, he reminded himself. He took the books from on of her hands and placed it down on the floor beside her. She seemed so tired. More than usual, he thought, as he placed a small blanket on top of her.
He stayed there, motionless, watching her breathe in and out slowly.
He could not help the painful thoughts that kept crossing his mind.
The visions. The Powers.
Her being human.
Her fate.
Angel closed his eyes and took an unnecessary breath before standing up and silently heading towards the stairs.
From one of the desks, Fred, Wesley and Gunn watched him disappear at the top of the staircase.
"Is he going to be okay?" Fred asked, still staring at the empty staircase. "I mean, I realise that it may sound a tiny bit insensitive to be worrying about Angel right now, considering that Cordy's suffering from her visions keeps intensifying and her cousin's kind of just dying there from ghost- busting tendencies, but." she breathed as Wesley and Gunn stared at her with raised eyebrows. "Is he going to be okay?"
"He's worried." Wesley told her as he picked up another book.
"About Emily? He barely knows her. Granted, she's an innocent and she's a lot like Cordy - and I do mean A LOT - but." Fred ranted on and on again but stopped herself when she saw the serious look on their faces.
"About Cordy." Gunn pointed out before going back to his book.
"Why?" Fred questioned with genuine confusion.
Wesley took his glasses off and sadly glanced at Cordelia's sleeping body.
"Because watching Emily is like a preview." He said in a low, tired voice, and then turned to face Fred again. "Of what can happen to Cordelia." He finished as the room fell into a deep silence.
--
She was standing in the dark.
It was so dark. Everywhere.
What was she doing in the dark in the first place? She couldn't remember how she'd gotten there either. The darkness enveloped all of her senses, except one. That distinct feeling she always felt.
That familiar vision feeling.
Suddenly, bright flashes of light blinded her. A painful light.
Images flashed before her eyes in a disturbing sequence that almost prevented her from breathing.
The Groosalug.
[I]Groo: "I am unworthy of lifting your burden, highness."[/I]
A crowd of dripping, ugly beasts surrounding the hotel.
Cordelia breaking down in tears, holding a lifeless body in her arms.
[I]Groo: "It is foretold in the ancient prophecies that one will
come who is cursed with the visions. She will mate with the groosalug
whose demon blood shall absorb them."[/I]
All these images danced in her head, intercepted by images of angel, standing in a poorly lit room, staring into her eyes with such intensity while holding her face into his hands.
The sequence lasted mere seconds, and ended with the same blinding flashes of light.
Cordelia woke in a start; jumping into a seating position and gasping for air so desperately. She grabbed her chest in pain. Her face was covered in sweat, pure fear radiating from her face as she tried to regain a normal form of breathing. Alarmed, Wesley, Gunn and Fred dropped their books and rushed to her side, but she could barely notice their presence, or hear them, as she sat up and grabbed her head in pain.
Her heart was racing with fear, and mostly, utter confusion.
Definitely confusion.
--
Fred was now asleep on the couch while Gunn and Wesley watched Cordelia walk up the stairs in silence.
"Doesn't it bother you the amount of loose ends we got in this story?" Gunn shook his head in disbelief.
"Tell me about it." Wesley echoed the black man's confusion.
"Why do you think The Slayer mentioned an Hospital in her message? Doesn't that intrigue you in any way, shape or form?" Gunn inquired, staring at the answering machine.
"Well, seeing dead people has a tendency to make people think you're crazy." Wesley said in a patronizing tone.
"They had her committed??" Gunn exclaimed.
"That's what Willow said when Cordy called back." Wesley said, joining Gunn in his answering machine staring contest. "I think it's a good thing we've all agreed not to tell Cordelia's family about Emily's whereabouts." Wesley mused as they both kept staring at the phone silently.
--
Angel sat at the young girl's bedside, trying to make sense of all the thoughts that ran through his mind whenever he looked at her. He didn't know her. He'd never met her before, nor had Cordelia ever talked about her before she arrived in a theatrical manner on their doorstep. Why did he feel she was there just as much for him as she was for Cordy? Why did he get this strange feeling from her?
The room bathed in semi-darkness as he watched her sleep for a moment.
After a little while, Emily began to stir and open her eyes slowly. The exhausted look on her face seems to disappear a little when she noticed Angel sitting in a chair beside her. A tiny, weak smile spread across her face as she greeted him in typical teenage fashion.
"Hey." she whispered softly.
"Hey."
He returned her smile, with less radiance, but still.
Emily swallowed with difficulty, taking notice of how dry her mouth and throat felt all of a sudden. Her eyes looked around the room silently at first and she then turned back to face Angel.
"Where's Cordy?" she asked in a quiet, even tone.
"She's resting - finally." Angel answered in all simplicity.
The look in Emily's eyes seemed to wise, so old, so.He didn't know how it seemed. It was just striking. Like she knew more than anyone should be allowed to know. Wise beyond her years.
"She spent this whole time here didn't she?" Emily asked, already knowing Angel's answer.
One look at him and she knew that Cordy had stayed at her bedside for hours before finally being convinced to get some rest for herself. She needed it.
"She's worried."
"She shouldn't be." Emily gently replied. "Everything's going to turn out alright now."
Their voices were nothing more than dove-like whispers.
"How do you know?" Angel said, his eyes growing darker for an instant.
"Have faith." She told him in a serene tone of voice that seemed to hypnotize him for a few seconds.
"I'm not sure I know how to do that anymore." he confessed out loud, not really meaning for her to hear it but she did.
Emily looked at his lowered face and she exhaustingly smiled to herself.
"It'll come back to you." She whispered. "All in good time." She added as his eyes looked up to her once again.
Curiosity.
Intrigue.
He held all those in his eyes as he looked at her. He couldn't explain it.
"What's this?" Angel asked as he looked down at the girl's hand.
"Errm.tattoo." She answered as if it was obvious.
He looked down at the drawing tattooed in the palm of her left hand.
A cross and a rosary.
"Why would you have that tattooed on your hand?" he asked despite himself.
"Hello?? I DO live on the Hellmouth." She said with wide eyes. "You never know who you're going to meet in Sunnydale nowadays. This can be a very powerful weapon." She grinned cleverly.
Angel nodded, impressed.
"They didn't have that when I was there." He said, his tone obviously praising her logic.
"New trend." She simply replied.
A long silence followed this little exchange. Angel looked down, pondering whether to ask his next question or not.
He had to.
He knew Cordelia wouldn't. He had to do it.
"You didn't come here to be saved, did you?" Angel finally asked after a long silence.
Emily stayed silent, looking down at her hands for what seemed like forever.
"I can't be saved." She replied in a heartbreaking, rusty voice, never looking up from her hands. She paused, a sad smile crossing her face. "I'm not sure I want to." She whispered.
The look on her face. The sound of her voice.
Angel had trouble believing that this young girl lying on the bed in front of him was only 17 years old. That familiar thing in her eyes. He finally put his finger on it. That strength. That courageous face that served as a shield for the pain. That typical eyebrow-raising technique that was so reminiscent of Cordelia's tendencies.
That's it.
She reminded him of Cordelia.
Same hair. Same eyes. Same personalities.
Cordelia walked through the corridor towards the room she and Angel had put Emily in. She was still reeling from the vision. Or was it a dream? She didn't know. It had scared her, she knew that much. She approached the room when she heard voices.
"You care a lot about her don't you?" Emily's voice was heard asking. There was no answer. "Cordy, I mean." She specified.
Cordelia slowed down and stopped outside the door. Suddenly, she wasn't sure if she wanted to wait outside or go in. There was a little sadness in Emily's voice but mostly, there was relief.
Why relief?
Cordelia listened from the doorway.
"You don't have to answer." Emily quietly added after angel's long silence. "Just promise me one thing." She said as small tears slowly formed in the corner of her eyes.
"Sure." Angel said with a quiet nod.
"Don't let her get too scared to save herself." She finally spoke after taking a deep breath. "Please." she whispered.
Angel and Emily exchanged an intense stare that was only broken by Cordelia, who finally decided to walk in.
Acting as if she hadn't heard anything, she just stood there, managed a smile and took a deep breath. Her eyes locked with Angel's for a second and she had to force herself to look away. The images of her disturbing dream suddenly came back flooding through her.
"Hi..how are you?" Cordy asked, looking at Emily now.
"Good." Emily smiled.
Cordelia raised an eyebrow, not really buying Emily's tough act, but the young girl's genuine grin eased her suspicions.
"Well, good." Cordy said as she hurried towards the bed with a sudden and surprising agitation. "Get out of bed." She said as she helped the covers off of Emily's body.
"What are you doing? Why? Where are we going?" Emily breathed out the questions with a frown that mirrored Angel's.
"I think I know someone who can help you - at least a little bit." She said while shooting a look over at Angel. "A little help here Broody Boy?!"
Angel immediately helped Emily sit up on the bed and then looked at Cordy.
"You said it was too crowded in here, right?" Cordy said looking at her cousin's pale features.
"Yeah, but, Cordy." she began while shaking her head. "It's too crowded everywhere these days." She confessed.
"Not where I'm taking you." Cordelia answered while she and Angel helped a confused Emily up to her feet.
--
"Where are we?" Emily asked.
"My apartment, you Dummy." Cordelia said in a teasing voice.
"You know, if you weren't my cousin I'd be really offended that you've been calling me that since I was five years old." She said in a long breath.
Cordelia smile one of those 'I know' smile.
"Can you just stay here with her?" Cordelia asked Angel while she pulled out her keys.
Angel was holding on to Emily's fragile frame as they both stood behind Cordelia. On the way over there, he had figured out Cordelia's thinking.
He simply nodded.
"I just need to warn Dennis." She added, unlocking the door.
"Dennis?" Emily inquired, looking back and forth between the vampire and his seer. "Roommate? Boyfriend?" she raised an eyebrow.
"Ghost." Angel replied in a simplistic manner that nearly frightened the poor young girl.
Ghost? He had said Ghost.
"Errm.okay." She cleared her throat and shot a stern look at Cordelia. "Bringing me here was a good idea [b]how again?!?[/b]" she said as a tiny fear crept into her tone.
"Don't worry." Cordy said, trying to reassure her cousin. "Dennis is going to help. He's not going to do anything to you. He's very Casper-y. Very friendly." She said trying to ease Emily's fears.
"Casper-y?" Emily repeated, not too sure about this.
"Yes, very helpful and such an attentive roommate, unlike others." Cordy said shooting a side-ways look at Angel.
"I can be attentive." he said on the defensive.
"Don't worry, just give me a minute." She said, walking into the apartment by herself.
--
[I]Later that night.[/I]
"Thanks Angel." Cordy said as she walked him to the door.
"Anytime." He said turning back to face her.
He paused, looking at her with worried eyes.
"Are you sure you want to stay here by yourself with her? I mean, at the hotel it seemed more.more." he stumbled on his thought there.
"More crowded?" she tried to finish his thought. Not exactly the word he had in mind but he realized that she was right. "Angel, I know what I'm doing. Dennis can protect her here. At least for now." She said in a soft voice. "He's not going to let any ghost or spirit walk in here so."
They both looked over at Emily, sitting on the couch and chatting with an invisible Dennis. Angel and Cordelia raised their eyebrows when they saw Emily burst into laughter all of a sudden.
Weird.
"They seem to be getting along." Angel acknowledged with a small grin.
"We'll be fine Angel." She said after a short pause.
"If you need anything."
"I know, I know.Now go!" she said with a hand gesture. "Go be a big bad Vamp and do whatever it is that vamps do." she paused and tilted her head and frowned at her own words. "Well, not big and bad in a 'grr' way of course, but.you know." He smiled. "So go and brood a little as you broody boys like to do." She smiled as he stood in the doorway.
She lifted herself up on her toes and wrapped her arms around his neck, giving him a small hug, obviously surprising him.
"Thank you." She whispered in his ear before pulling away and shooting him a smile.
Emily watched the scene unfold before her eyes and simply watched in silence. She saw Cordelia close the door behind Angel. She saw Cordelia drag herself back to the couch, silently. Always in silence.
Cordelia sat on the floor and leaned her back against the couch, grabbing one of the ancient books she had borrowed from Wesley and throwing herself into it. Emily watched her as she lied on the couch, her tired and fragile muscles aching at the simple thought of moving. There was a long silence while Emily stared at her cousin with an apologetic look in her eyes.
"I'm sorry." Emily finally spoke in a dejected utterance.
Cordelia looked up from her book, a little taken aback.
"Why?"
"All of this." She whispered back.
"Nonsense." Cordelia argued in a determined tone. "Okay, so you didn't really catch me in my best week, and it's not like we're taking full advantages of LA's overrated fun circle, but, details, details, details." Cordelia said. "I'm not sorry you're here. I'm actually glad you are." She said with a specific honesty that Emily recognized, and acknowledged with a nod. "Now, if we can just find some way to change that whole cursed with Powers issue that us Chase girls seem to be plagued with." she said, flipping the pages of the book she held in her hands.
"Cordy." Emily said, her smile suddenly fading.
"You know, I think those All-Mighty People have underestimated the power of Cordelia Chase's icy stare. Not the first ones though." she said, purposely ignoring Emily's words.
"Cordy don't do this." Emily said, interrupting her cousin.
Cordelia paused and sighed as she lowered her eyes.
"You won't find anything in those books." She added as Cordelia sat there, immobile. "You won't because I looked. I did. But you know what? That's okay. I don't' want you to focus your energy on saving me. That's not why I'm here."
"Then why?" Cordy asked, turning to face Emily. "Then why are you here?" she repeated, nearly choking on the words.
"Because one of us deserves to be save." Emily said as she stared at Cordelia's face.
"What is that supposed to mean??" Cordy blurted out as a confused look came across her face.
"Let's just say that I've extended my area of expertise when it comes to my power." Emily said. From the look in Cordelia's eyes, she felt compelled to continue. "I'm just like you - in so many more ways that you think - but the difference is that I never found what you found here." She said throwing her hands in the air as she looked around. "I'm a Chase too, you know." She said as a glimpse of regret filled her words. "I know what that can do to a kid. It's not a family, it's a prison that we have. But what you got here.I never found that in SunnyHell. All I really had was this power. And I got into it. Whenever the Powers needed a hand with something, I was there." Emily quietly and carefully tried to explain without revealing too much.
"I don't get it." Cordelia whispered, shaking her head.
"I gave them a hand whenever they needed some extra favor, or some help with some things.even if it had nothing to do with my Crossroad Power." Emily explained. "Let's just say that they owe me big." She laughed softly. "And trust me, I'll collect."
"Then do it now!" Cordy exclaimed in a louder voice. "Ask them to give you back your normal life!"
"No." Emily quietly replied.
"Why not??" Cordy's voice sounded slightly angry for some reason now.
"I made a deal with them." Emily whispered almost to herself.
"What kind of [I]deal[/I]?"
"It doesn't matter." she replied as Cordelia stared at her with a glimpse of desperation in her eyes. "It doesn't matter what kind of deal I made with them.I've known for a long time that I can't be saved from this." She said.
A long silence invaded the room as Cordelia sat back down on the floor, exhausted by the information Emily had just dumped on her.
"But you can." Emily whispered after a while.
Her voice.
Low yet knowing all at once.
Cordelia looked at her, a mix of emotion running through her.
"You can be saved. You and I both know that." She said as she sat up on the couch slowly.
"I don't know what you're talking about." Cordelia turned away from her cousin, avoiding the discerning look she was throwing her way.
"Yes, you do. I know they told you." Emily spoke, looking at the back of Cordelia's head. "He can save you."
A silence invaded the room.
"Don't be afraid to let yourself be saved." Emily whispered, almost in a pleading voice as Cordelia stared down at the floor in front of her.
The minutes felt like days. That night proved to be a long one for all of them.
Angel knelt beside the big couch, where Cordelia's sleeping form rested in a not so peaceful sleep. But she was sleeping. Finally. She needed her rest and that's all that mattered.
For now.
His hands seemed to tremble momentarily. His hands never trembled, he reminded himself. He took the books from on of her hands and placed it down on the floor beside her. She seemed so tired. More than usual, he thought, as he placed a small blanket on top of her.
He stayed there, motionless, watching her breathe in and out slowly.
He could not help the painful thoughts that kept crossing his mind.
The visions. The Powers.
Her being human.
Her fate.
Angel closed his eyes and took an unnecessary breath before standing up and silently heading towards the stairs.
From one of the desks, Fred, Wesley and Gunn watched him disappear at the top of the staircase.
"Is he going to be okay?" Fred asked, still staring at the empty staircase. "I mean, I realise that it may sound a tiny bit insensitive to be worrying about Angel right now, considering that Cordy's suffering from her visions keeps intensifying and her cousin's kind of just dying there from ghost- busting tendencies, but." she breathed as Wesley and Gunn stared at her with raised eyebrows. "Is he going to be okay?"
"He's worried." Wesley told her as he picked up another book.
"About Emily? He barely knows her. Granted, she's an innocent and she's a lot like Cordy - and I do mean A LOT - but." Fred ranted on and on again but stopped herself when she saw the serious look on their faces.
"About Cordy." Gunn pointed out before going back to his book.
"Why?" Fred questioned with genuine confusion.
Wesley took his glasses off and sadly glanced at Cordelia's sleeping body.
"Because watching Emily is like a preview." He said in a low, tired voice, and then turned to face Fred again. "Of what can happen to Cordelia." He finished as the room fell into a deep silence.
--
She was standing in the dark.
It was so dark. Everywhere.
What was she doing in the dark in the first place? She couldn't remember how she'd gotten there either. The darkness enveloped all of her senses, except one. That distinct feeling she always felt.
That familiar vision feeling.
Suddenly, bright flashes of light blinded her. A painful light.
Images flashed before her eyes in a disturbing sequence that almost prevented her from breathing.
The Groosalug.
[I]Groo: "I am unworthy of lifting your burden, highness."[/I]
A crowd of dripping, ugly beasts surrounding the hotel.
Cordelia breaking down in tears, holding a lifeless body in her arms.
[I]Groo: "It is foretold in the ancient prophecies that one will
come who is cursed with the visions. She will mate with the groosalug
whose demon blood shall absorb them."[/I]
All these images danced in her head, intercepted by images of angel, standing in a poorly lit room, staring into her eyes with such intensity while holding her face into his hands.
The sequence lasted mere seconds, and ended with the same blinding flashes of light.
Cordelia woke in a start; jumping into a seating position and gasping for air so desperately. She grabbed her chest in pain. Her face was covered in sweat, pure fear radiating from her face as she tried to regain a normal form of breathing. Alarmed, Wesley, Gunn and Fred dropped their books and rushed to her side, but she could barely notice their presence, or hear them, as she sat up and grabbed her head in pain.
Her heart was racing with fear, and mostly, utter confusion.
Definitely confusion.
--
Fred was now asleep on the couch while Gunn and Wesley watched Cordelia walk up the stairs in silence.
"Doesn't it bother you the amount of loose ends we got in this story?" Gunn shook his head in disbelief.
"Tell me about it." Wesley echoed the black man's confusion.
"Why do you think The Slayer mentioned an Hospital in her message? Doesn't that intrigue you in any way, shape or form?" Gunn inquired, staring at the answering machine.
"Well, seeing dead people has a tendency to make people think you're crazy." Wesley said in a patronizing tone.
"They had her committed??" Gunn exclaimed.
"That's what Willow said when Cordy called back." Wesley said, joining Gunn in his answering machine staring contest. "I think it's a good thing we've all agreed not to tell Cordelia's family about Emily's whereabouts." Wesley mused as they both kept staring at the phone silently.
--
Angel sat at the young girl's bedside, trying to make sense of all the thoughts that ran through his mind whenever he looked at her. He didn't know her. He'd never met her before, nor had Cordelia ever talked about her before she arrived in a theatrical manner on their doorstep. Why did he feel she was there just as much for him as she was for Cordy? Why did he get this strange feeling from her?
The room bathed in semi-darkness as he watched her sleep for a moment.
After a little while, Emily began to stir and open her eyes slowly. The exhausted look on her face seems to disappear a little when she noticed Angel sitting in a chair beside her. A tiny, weak smile spread across her face as she greeted him in typical teenage fashion.
"Hey." she whispered softly.
"Hey."
He returned her smile, with less radiance, but still.
Emily swallowed with difficulty, taking notice of how dry her mouth and throat felt all of a sudden. Her eyes looked around the room silently at first and she then turned back to face Angel.
"Where's Cordy?" she asked in a quiet, even tone.
"She's resting - finally." Angel answered in all simplicity.
The look in Emily's eyes seemed to wise, so old, so.He didn't know how it seemed. It was just striking. Like she knew more than anyone should be allowed to know. Wise beyond her years.
"She spent this whole time here didn't she?" Emily asked, already knowing Angel's answer.
One look at him and she knew that Cordy had stayed at her bedside for hours before finally being convinced to get some rest for herself. She needed it.
"She's worried."
"She shouldn't be." Emily gently replied. "Everything's going to turn out alright now."
Their voices were nothing more than dove-like whispers.
"How do you know?" Angel said, his eyes growing darker for an instant.
"Have faith." She told him in a serene tone of voice that seemed to hypnotize him for a few seconds.
"I'm not sure I know how to do that anymore." he confessed out loud, not really meaning for her to hear it but she did.
Emily looked at his lowered face and she exhaustingly smiled to herself.
"It'll come back to you." She whispered. "All in good time." She added as his eyes looked up to her once again.
Curiosity.
Intrigue.
He held all those in his eyes as he looked at her. He couldn't explain it.
"What's this?" Angel asked as he looked down at the girl's hand.
"Errm.tattoo." She answered as if it was obvious.
He looked down at the drawing tattooed in the palm of her left hand.
A cross and a rosary.
"Why would you have that tattooed on your hand?" he asked despite himself.
"Hello?? I DO live on the Hellmouth." She said with wide eyes. "You never know who you're going to meet in Sunnydale nowadays. This can be a very powerful weapon." She grinned cleverly.
Angel nodded, impressed.
"They didn't have that when I was there." He said, his tone obviously praising her logic.
"New trend." She simply replied.
A long silence followed this little exchange. Angel looked down, pondering whether to ask his next question or not.
He had to.
He knew Cordelia wouldn't. He had to do it.
"You didn't come here to be saved, did you?" Angel finally asked after a long silence.
Emily stayed silent, looking down at her hands for what seemed like forever.
"I can't be saved." She replied in a heartbreaking, rusty voice, never looking up from her hands. She paused, a sad smile crossing her face. "I'm not sure I want to." She whispered.
The look on her face. The sound of her voice.
Angel had trouble believing that this young girl lying on the bed in front of him was only 17 years old. That familiar thing in her eyes. He finally put his finger on it. That strength. That courageous face that served as a shield for the pain. That typical eyebrow-raising technique that was so reminiscent of Cordelia's tendencies.
That's it.
She reminded him of Cordelia.
Same hair. Same eyes. Same personalities.
Cordelia walked through the corridor towards the room she and Angel had put Emily in. She was still reeling from the vision. Or was it a dream? She didn't know. It had scared her, she knew that much. She approached the room when she heard voices.
"You care a lot about her don't you?" Emily's voice was heard asking. There was no answer. "Cordy, I mean." She specified.
Cordelia slowed down and stopped outside the door. Suddenly, she wasn't sure if she wanted to wait outside or go in. There was a little sadness in Emily's voice but mostly, there was relief.
Why relief?
Cordelia listened from the doorway.
"You don't have to answer." Emily quietly added after angel's long silence. "Just promise me one thing." She said as small tears slowly formed in the corner of her eyes.
"Sure." Angel said with a quiet nod.
"Don't let her get too scared to save herself." She finally spoke after taking a deep breath. "Please." she whispered.
Angel and Emily exchanged an intense stare that was only broken by Cordelia, who finally decided to walk in.
Acting as if she hadn't heard anything, she just stood there, managed a smile and took a deep breath. Her eyes locked with Angel's for a second and she had to force herself to look away. The images of her disturbing dream suddenly came back flooding through her.
"Hi..how are you?" Cordy asked, looking at Emily now.
"Good." Emily smiled.
Cordelia raised an eyebrow, not really buying Emily's tough act, but the young girl's genuine grin eased her suspicions.
"Well, good." Cordy said as she hurried towards the bed with a sudden and surprising agitation. "Get out of bed." She said as she helped the covers off of Emily's body.
"What are you doing? Why? Where are we going?" Emily breathed out the questions with a frown that mirrored Angel's.
"I think I know someone who can help you - at least a little bit." She said while shooting a look over at Angel. "A little help here Broody Boy?!"
Angel immediately helped Emily sit up on the bed and then looked at Cordy.
"You said it was too crowded in here, right?" Cordy said looking at her cousin's pale features.
"Yeah, but, Cordy." she began while shaking her head. "It's too crowded everywhere these days." She confessed.
"Not where I'm taking you." Cordelia answered while she and Angel helped a confused Emily up to her feet.
--
"Where are we?" Emily asked.
"My apartment, you Dummy." Cordelia said in a teasing voice.
"You know, if you weren't my cousin I'd be really offended that you've been calling me that since I was five years old." She said in a long breath.
Cordelia smile one of those 'I know' smile.
"Can you just stay here with her?" Cordelia asked Angel while she pulled out her keys.
Angel was holding on to Emily's fragile frame as they both stood behind Cordelia. On the way over there, he had figured out Cordelia's thinking.
He simply nodded.
"I just need to warn Dennis." She added, unlocking the door.
"Dennis?" Emily inquired, looking back and forth between the vampire and his seer. "Roommate? Boyfriend?" she raised an eyebrow.
"Ghost." Angel replied in a simplistic manner that nearly frightened the poor young girl.
Ghost? He had said Ghost.
"Errm.okay." She cleared her throat and shot a stern look at Cordelia. "Bringing me here was a good idea [b]how again?!?[/b]" she said as a tiny fear crept into her tone.
"Don't worry." Cordy said, trying to reassure her cousin. "Dennis is going to help. He's not going to do anything to you. He's very Casper-y. Very friendly." She said trying to ease Emily's fears.
"Casper-y?" Emily repeated, not too sure about this.
"Yes, very helpful and such an attentive roommate, unlike others." Cordy said shooting a side-ways look at Angel.
"I can be attentive." he said on the defensive.
"Don't worry, just give me a minute." She said, walking into the apartment by herself.
--
[I]Later that night.[/I]
"Thanks Angel." Cordy said as she walked him to the door.
"Anytime." He said turning back to face her.
He paused, looking at her with worried eyes.
"Are you sure you want to stay here by yourself with her? I mean, at the hotel it seemed more.more." he stumbled on his thought there.
"More crowded?" she tried to finish his thought. Not exactly the word he had in mind but he realized that she was right. "Angel, I know what I'm doing. Dennis can protect her here. At least for now." She said in a soft voice. "He's not going to let any ghost or spirit walk in here so."
They both looked over at Emily, sitting on the couch and chatting with an invisible Dennis. Angel and Cordelia raised their eyebrows when they saw Emily burst into laughter all of a sudden.
Weird.
"They seem to be getting along." Angel acknowledged with a small grin.
"We'll be fine Angel." She said after a short pause.
"If you need anything."
"I know, I know.Now go!" she said with a hand gesture. "Go be a big bad Vamp and do whatever it is that vamps do." she paused and tilted her head and frowned at her own words. "Well, not big and bad in a 'grr' way of course, but.you know." He smiled. "So go and brood a little as you broody boys like to do." She smiled as he stood in the doorway.
She lifted herself up on her toes and wrapped her arms around his neck, giving him a small hug, obviously surprising him.
"Thank you." She whispered in his ear before pulling away and shooting him a smile.
Emily watched the scene unfold before her eyes and simply watched in silence. She saw Cordelia close the door behind Angel. She saw Cordelia drag herself back to the couch, silently. Always in silence.
Cordelia sat on the floor and leaned her back against the couch, grabbing one of the ancient books she had borrowed from Wesley and throwing herself into it. Emily watched her as she lied on the couch, her tired and fragile muscles aching at the simple thought of moving. There was a long silence while Emily stared at her cousin with an apologetic look in her eyes.
"I'm sorry." Emily finally spoke in a dejected utterance.
Cordelia looked up from her book, a little taken aback.
"Why?"
"All of this." She whispered back.
"Nonsense." Cordelia argued in a determined tone. "Okay, so you didn't really catch me in my best week, and it's not like we're taking full advantages of LA's overrated fun circle, but, details, details, details." Cordelia said. "I'm not sorry you're here. I'm actually glad you are." She said with a specific honesty that Emily recognized, and acknowledged with a nod. "Now, if we can just find some way to change that whole cursed with Powers issue that us Chase girls seem to be plagued with." she said, flipping the pages of the book she held in her hands.
"Cordy." Emily said, her smile suddenly fading.
"You know, I think those All-Mighty People have underestimated the power of Cordelia Chase's icy stare. Not the first ones though." she said, purposely ignoring Emily's words.
"Cordy don't do this." Emily said, interrupting her cousin.
Cordelia paused and sighed as she lowered her eyes.
"You won't find anything in those books." She added as Cordelia sat there, immobile. "You won't because I looked. I did. But you know what? That's okay. I don't' want you to focus your energy on saving me. That's not why I'm here."
"Then why?" Cordy asked, turning to face Emily. "Then why are you here?" she repeated, nearly choking on the words.
"Because one of us deserves to be save." Emily said as she stared at Cordelia's face.
"What is that supposed to mean??" Cordy blurted out as a confused look came across her face.
"Let's just say that I've extended my area of expertise when it comes to my power." Emily said. From the look in Cordelia's eyes, she felt compelled to continue. "I'm just like you - in so many more ways that you think - but the difference is that I never found what you found here." She said throwing her hands in the air as she looked around. "I'm a Chase too, you know." She said as a glimpse of regret filled her words. "I know what that can do to a kid. It's not a family, it's a prison that we have. But what you got here.I never found that in SunnyHell. All I really had was this power. And I got into it. Whenever the Powers needed a hand with something, I was there." Emily quietly and carefully tried to explain without revealing too much.
"I don't get it." Cordelia whispered, shaking her head.
"I gave them a hand whenever they needed some extra favor, or some help with some things.even if it had nothing to do with my Crossroad Power." Emily explained. "Let's just say that they owe me big." She laughed softly. "And trust me, I'll collect."
"Then do it now!" Cordy exclaimed in a louder voice. "Ask them to give you back your normal life!"
"No." Emily quietly replied.
"Why not??" Cordy's voice sounded slightly angry for some reason now.
"I made a deal with them." Emily whispered almost to herself.
"What kind of [I]deal[/I]?"
"It doesn't matter." she replied as Cordelia stared at her with a glimpse of desperation in her eyes. "It doesn't matter what kind of deal I made with them.I've known for a long time that I can't be saved from this." She said.
A long silence invaded the room as Cordelia sat back down on the floor, exhausted by the information Emily had just dumped on her.
"But you can." Emily whispered after a while.
Her voice.
Low yet knowing all at once.
Cordelia looked at her, a mix of emotion running through her.
"You can be saved. You and I both know that." She said as she sat up on the couch slowly.
"I don't know what you're talking about." Cordelia turned away from her cousin, avoiding the discerning look she was throwing her way.
"Yes, you do. I know they told you." Emily spoke, looking at the back of Cordelia's head. "He can save you."
A silence invaded the room.
"Don't be afraid to let yourself be saved." Emily whispered, almost in a pleading voice as Cordelia stared down at the floor in front of her.
