A/N: All right, hopefully this shows up, and if it does, then it kind of goes along with Snape's schedule. You should have read this BEFORE Snape's, and I tried to switch the chapters, but.... sigh. Looks like Bill Gates has a whole lifetime of problems ahead of him.
I owe my inspiration to Jelsemiun, who asked for Harry's schedule. Here it is! Once again, no death threats, I love Harry Potter, THIS IS A PARODY.... And it's also something to do while I write chapter seven of A REMUS STORY. Anyway, I don't know what classes come first, so bear with me in this.
Disclaimer: Not mine. Any of it.
Harry Potter's Daily Schedule
By: Xaviera Xylira
7:30 AM: Wake up to Ron's snoring.
7:32: Hit Ron with a pillow to wake him up and discontinue the horrendous snoring.
8:00: Head down for breakfast after meeting up with Hermione in the Common Room.
8:06: Dodge Peeves, who discovered the school's supply of ever-lasting neon paint and is using it for malicious wrongs (nothing unusual).
8:15: Eat breakfast. Watch as Malfoy sneers and smirks when passing Gryffindor table. Make mental note to tell Fred and George to aim bludgers directly at him at the next quidditch match.
8:45: Finish breakfast, then let Hermione drag Ron and me to the library where we will proceed to read up on the "Occamy", Hagrid's new baby.
9:00: First class of the day--- Herbology. Pretend to be interested and try not to let Sprout catch Ron and I making "inappropriate faces" behind her back.
10:15: Care of Magical Creatures. Pretend to be sorry when Hagrid says that the occamy flew away while secretly wondering how the hell a bird that big could fly.
11:30: Break--- follow Hermione to library to read up on "Graphorns", which Hagrid said would be next class.
NOON: Have lunch, thanking Merlin for the normal morning.
12:01 PM: Roll eyes as McGonagall approaches Gryffindor table, saying that Lord Voldemort has ordered an issue saying that he wanted me "dead or alive, but preferrably dead, with my head severed and pickled and roasted and served to him on a silver platter for his dinner." Make mental note to never say things too soon.
12:45: Proceed to History of Magic, ignoring the whispers, stares, glares, worried glances, blank gawking, gaping, and other such variations. Also ignore Binns droning on about some goblin rebellion or other. And try to ignore Hermione, who is sitting beside me and nagging me to take notes while she herself is writing feverishly.
2:00: Go with Ron to Divination, making fun of Trelawney the entire time, but only after checking the windowsill for tell-tale blue beetles. Try not to gag when Trelawney predicts my death for the seventy-sixth time (Ron is keeping a tally).
3:15: Break--- Meet with Hermione in the Great Hall and let her lead Ron and me to the library to read up on curses and jinxes incase dear old Voldie decides to pop up tomorrow night or something.
3:45: Transfiguration--- Forgive Neville as he apologizes for transfiguring my books into sheep.
5:00: Charms class. Try to ignore the levitating Flitwick and concentrate on making my quill flash different colors.
6:15: End classes for the day. Thank Merlin that Potions wasn't on the schedule, then proceed to dormitory and then to the quidditch pitch for practice.
6:23: Duck bludger that Fred sends my way, and ignore when he calls out the excuse for me needing some "surprise action."
8:30: Quidditch practice over, stick around for some extra rounds after team leaves.
8:35: Try to look mildly surprised as some Death Eater in disguise makes me touch a portkey, thereby sending me to the super-secret lair of dear old Voldie.
8:40: Try not to sigh and groan as dear old Voldie tries to be intimidating and makes a big long dramtic speech to his Death Eaters about how THIS will be the FINAL TIME that he'll have to defeat THE BOY WHO LIVED.
9:05: Speech is finally over. Proceed to duel, try not to get hurt (well, no duh), remember the curses.
10:55: Escape dear old Voldie with only one broken arm and a few fractured ribs. Wand still perfectly intact, Hogwarts is safe, touch portkey, and it's home sweet home.
11:00: Look pleased and surprised when awarded 500 house points for defeating dear old Voldie. Make a mental note to write dear old Voldie a thank-you letter for not killing me this time around, and that I look forward to our next meeting. Remember to include coupons to The Three Broomsticks, as usual.
11:05: Fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow, and prepare for another day. Make sure to put silencing charm on Ron for his snores; it's Double Potions tomorrow, and I need all the sleep I can get.
A/N: I don't like it. Not as much as Voldie's. But oh well. R/R if you want to. Maybe next time I'll do Snape's schedule... if there is a next time for this "fic".....
