1 Chapter Twenty-two

M'aaranik breathed in deeply and let out a sigh.

"I love the smell of N'aanwaria in the morning, don't you?" He asked, grinning evilly. N'aadija just crossed her arms and pretended not to notice.

"Do you mean that manure field that we just touched down in? I'd say that was the prevailing smell in this area, M'aaranik!" N'aadija said sardonically.

"That's just part of my plan, you stupid little twit! Who would dare come into a place this offensive to the delicate N'aanwarian nasal receptors just to find us?"

"Speaking of that, I think my nasal receptors are signaling my digestive tract to go into reverse! What were you thinking?" N'aadija yelled, smacking him across the back of his head with one of her gloves.

"I wouldn't try that again, unless you want to go for a swim," M'aaranik said, motioning to the mucky ground with his hand. N'aadija rolled her eyes and put her hands on her hips.

"So, what's next on the agenda for this morning, O' Fearless leader?" She asked with amusement.

"I'm glad you asked, N'aadija," M'aaranik announced. "First thing's first. We have to burn this ship. It's the Narundi Fleet's only possible connection to us, if they find it!"

N'aadija felt a twinge through the force as she pondered his statement. Something about it struck her as seriously incorrect, and that thought drove fear into her heart.

"We can't be too certain about that, M'aaranik," N'aadija muttered in a grave tone.

"Why not? We slaughtered everyone on this ship! There are still no eyewitnesses to our murderous rampage!"

"Mmm, you put that so eloquently. Murderous rampage," N'aadija said, letting the words roll off her tongue.

"It's a beautiful thing," M'aaranik agreed.

'I was being sarcastic,' N'aadija thought. "Still, this ship is our only sure way out of here if they do recognize us. Don't be so impulsive, M'aaranik. You know what they say about burning starships!"

"N'aadija, that's a metaphor that refers to social situations! They meant it figuratively, not literally!"

"Still, we'd be better off hiding it instead of burning it," N'aadija insisted.

M'aaranik pulled out a thermal detonator and chucked it back at the ship. All three of them dove to the ground as the ship blew into a million atoms. N'aadija peeled herself out of the slop after the explosion had died down, in awe of how contained the blast had been.

"I disagree, my dear," M'aaranik said softly.

"What the hell was that, M'aaranik? Was that some new kind of thermal detonator?!" N'aadija asked in shock.

"I just adjusted the controls on the current ones. They were set to 'crap field'," M'aaranik said with a grin.

"Well, lets see if you can use that brilliant mind of yours to scare me up some CLEAN CLOTHES, you jerk!" N'aadija hissed angrily, throwing a handful of sewage at him.

"We've got bigger problems, you two! Manure's on fire!" Daa'salar said urgently, motioning for them to run. The three terrorists sloshed and slid through the field at full speed, trying desperately to escape the wall of fire that was quickly approaching. They ducked behind a stone wall as the wave of flame washed over them, tapping into the force to create a bubble of protection around them.

"Well, that certainly was fun, wasn't it?" M'aaranik said with a shrug as he got up and walked through the flames. N'aadija and Daa'salar got up and followed him through the fire to the edge of it.

"There still is the problem of me having no clothes to wear, M'aaranik!" N'aadija said crossly.

"I understand that N'aadija, and if you'll hold on for just a second, we'll go shopping! First, we need to get cleaned off, or else people will get suspicious when they see three manure creatures walk into a boutique!" M'aaranik growled, impatient with N'aadija's constant whining.

"That farm house looks like a good place," Daa'salar suggested. "We'll clean up under that sprinkler."

"Good thinking, Daa'salar," M'aaranik said, patting him on the back. "You always were my number one man!"

"He's your only man, stupid!" N'aadija said, rolling her eyes.

"Yes, it's an unfortunate thing for sure," M'aaranik said, narrowing his eyes at her and then ducking as she spat at him.

"You spat at me!! You disgusting little whore! Didn't your mother ever tell you that it's not nice to spit at people?" M'aaranik growled.

"My mother would be proud of me for spitting at you!" N'aadija said with a laugh as she stole the nozzle away from him.

"Guys, maybe if we all had a time share on the sprinkler then we'd all get along better," Daa'salar muttered.

"Me, get along with him? You've got to be kidding!" N'aadija cried as she let the water run down her face and chest.

"You seemed to get along with me quite well this morning, my sexy little kitten," M'aaranik said seductively.

"On second thought, maybe you should be the one having this cold shower, M'aaranik! It might take your mind off of sex for a little while!"

"That's an impossibility, although I appreciate the offer," He said with a sly smile. Muck streamed from his hair in rivulets, and he seemed quite satisfied with himself. He knew just how to manipulate N'aadija, and that would prove quite useful in the future.

"So, what do you think we're going to do once we get this crap off of us? Are we going to walk into a department store soaking wet and demand new clothing?" N'aadija asked with her hands on her hips.

"No, my dear. We are going to ask those people up in that farmhouse for some dry clothes. They'd be wise not to resist," M'aaranik said while spraying off his pants and boots.

"Oh, and if they do, I suppose you're going to kill them, am I guessing correctly?" N'aadija asked with a sardonic smile.

"You know me well, don't you N'aadija? However, you're a little bit off the mark. I'm not going to kill them. WE'RE going to kill them," M'aaranik said, gesturing around in a circle to the three of them.

"Why am I not terribly surprised? You never could keep your blaster from going off for long," N'aadija said, smiling sweetly at him.

"In more ways than one," M'aaranik said, smiling back at her as he handed her the nozzle.

"I'd be surprised if anyone was home. I mean, their entire field of crops is one fire! Don't you think they would have noticed and come outside by now?"

"Indeed. Either they're gone, or we're. . . about to be ambushed! GET DOWN!" M'aaranik yelled at the top of his lungs as a couple of shots rang out. He pushed N'aadija down to the ground and then reached for his lightsaber to block the blaster bolts.

"What the hell are you doing pushing ME down, M'aaranik?" N'aadija cried in outrage as she stood back up. "Don't try to throw your weight around with m- -," Her words were cut short by her scream as a bolt passed though her abdomen. She dropped like a rock to the ground from the pain.

"N'aadija!" M'aaranik cried in shock as he rushed to her side. She looked up at him with tormented eyes as waves of agony washed over her, overpowering her.

"By. . .El'aanus' name, M'aaranik. . .I'll be damned if I'm. . .gonna' die here, in this. . .crap field!" N'aadija said in between gasps.

"You're going to be just fine, N'aadija," M'aaranik said frantically, trying more to convince himself than to convince her. "We just have to get you out of here, that's all!"

Suddenly the shooting stopped. Daa'salar gave a triumphant grunt and then came over to tend to N'aadija.

"I got him back with his own blaster fire, boss. He's either dead or wishing he was right about now," Daa'salar barked as he knelt down next to N'aadija.

"Not soon enough. . ." M'aaranik said feebly, in a daze.

"Lets get her into the house and get that wound dressed," Daa'salar said, clapping his friend on the shoulder.

"I should have listened. . .to you. I should have listened. . ." N'aadija moaned deliriously.

"Since when did you ever listen to me, N'aadija?" M'aaranik scolded, laughing bitterly.

"I'm going to be all right. . .it didn't hit any. . .vital organs," She whispered.

"Still, you're in shock, and that's just as serious as any wound you could get. We're going to move you now, N'aadija. On the count of three . . . one, two, three!" M'aaranik ordered as the two men lifted her up off the ground. N'aadija winced from the movement and she bit her lip, trying not to scream as they carried her up into the abandoned farmhouse.

"Put her up on that table, Daa'salar. I'll get her some blankets," M'aaranik said gravely, an obvious slump to his shoulders. "We need to get her stabilized as quickly as possible."

"Mother, what are those strange people doing in our home?" Asked the voice of a young girl.

M'aaranik whipped around with lightning speed to target the young girl and her mother with his blaster. His eyes blazed with fire, not wanting any more distractions to keep him from helping N'aadija.

"Please. . .don't shoot," Pleaded the woman with tears in her eyes. "We'll do anything you ask. Just. . .don't kill us too!"

M'aaranik felt a hand on his arm and jumped. He turned around to look into N'aadija's half open eyes. She shook her head weakly.

"No, not again M'aaranik. Don't do it," She whispered. "Let them help us."

"They've already seen too much, N'aadija. We already killed her husband!" M'aaranik growled impatiently.

"No, YOU killed her husband, or you Daa'salar. I don't know which one! Just STOP KILLING PEOPLE! God, whatever happened to threatening people with death? Now it's just 'bang, you're dead'!" N'aadija said angrily, raising her voice and then cringing as she regretted it later.

"All right. If you help us, we will spare your lives," M'aaranik said seriously. "However, if you tell anyone that you saw us here we will take great pleasure in dispatching you both. Do I make myself clear?"

"C-c-crystal clear," The woman said with a nervous nod. "Go and get the medicine chest for the man, Liaa'na!"

The little girl gave her mother one last terrified look and then disappeared into another room. M'aaranik tried his best to soothe N'aadija as Daa'salar kept a careful eye on the woman and what was going on outside the farmhouse.

"Here it is," The little girl said softly as she handed a plasteel box to M'aaranik and then she hurried to hide behind her mother. M'aaranik took out sterile bandages and some antiseptic fluid, and he began to clean out N'aadija's wound.

"Good god, M'aaranik! That stuff burns!" N'aadija cried, wincing as he applied the fluid to her wound.

"It's specially formulated to cauterize the wound as it cleans it, so of course it's going to burn!" M'aaranik said tensely, his brow furrowed with concern. "Whatever it can't heal we can fix with jedi healing techniques. You're going to be fine."

"Thank you," N'aadija whispered, glancing over at the little girl and her mother. The girl peeked one tear-streaked eye out from behind her mother's leg and gazed curiously at N'aadija. She could see what the girl was thinking. How could such a nice young woman be with such mean old men? N'aadija smiled bitterly to herself as she pondered the question.

'I don't know, ask the Narundis,' Thought N'aadija as she dropped into a healing trance. 'They're the reason why I'm here right now. . .'

N'aadija awoke sharply to a loud crash. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Daa'salar tumble to the floor. She immediately snapped to attention, reaching for her lightsaber as she rolled off the table into a fighting stance in one smooth motion. She came face to face with the farmer that Daa'salar had supposedly killed earlier. Blood streamed from a cut on the side of his forehead. It was enough to cause considerable pain, but not to kill.

'Damn you Daa'salar for not doing the job right the first time!,' N'aadija thought in dismay. She swooped her lightsaber in an arch that chopped off the barrel of his blaster. "Try firing with that!"

The color drained from the farmer's face as he realized he was defenseless against her. He put up his hands to shield himself from her attack, and then was surprised when there was none.

"M'aaranik!! Lets get out of here! We've over stayed our welcome," N'aadija yelled at her partner while keeping a close eye on the farmer. M'aaranik picked himself off of the floor, rubbing a bump on the back of his head. He was obviously annoyed from being ambushed yet a second time.

"Grab Daa'salar. We're leaving now," N'aadija commanded.

"Fine, we'll go now!" M'aaranik said with a scowl as he helped Daa'salar to his feet. "As for the three of you, not a word to anyone that you saw us here on your farm, if you value your lives."

The farmer moved closer to his wife and daughter as M'aaranik delivered the final warning and he put a protective arm around both of them. All of this was missed by the three renegade jedi as they hurried off the property toward Freedom City.

"All right, so that was a very bad idea on my part," M'aaranik admitted.

"Just one in a long chain of many bad ideas I might add," N'aadija said with a smirk.

"Shut up, you! I've had enough of your sass! Anyway, I see that we still have the problem of dirty clothes to contend with. I wouldn't want poor N'aadija to have to wear anything but spotless designer clothing for her job as a terrorist," M'aaranik sneered, eliciting a smack on the arm from his female cohort.

"Go ahead and make fun of me, but the fact is that we can't walk around looking like this! We would surely draw attention!" N'aadija snapped.

"Actually N'aadija, you better think of leaving that muck on your face," Daa'salar said uneasily.

"What are you talking about Daa'salar?"

Daa'salar pointed to a Wanted poster on a bulletin board that showed a clear picture of N'aadija from her modeling days.

"Oh f'aalran dung!" She cussed under her breath as she stared at the poster in disbelief.