A/N: Kevin Smith said that the fates of the people who died on the re- opening of the church were in the minds of the viewers, so here is my take on it.

Disclaimer: It all belongs to Kevin Smith!

Loki awoke from what seemed to be a deep trance, he felt his side which was cleansed and healed. He felt no pain. He looked around at his surroundings, it was different, and he certainly wasn't alive. Yet still, he was not home he was where he had feared, hell. "Why do I always have to listen to that son of a bitch?" he sighed as he dwelled on the four days leading to this arrival. But then he remembered it was he whom thought of the plan to kill wrong doers, forgetting that those who kill have wronged.

But still he was down here, killed by his best friend, his partner, his hope. He knew Bartleby wasn't thinking clearly that something had popped manipulating his mind and driving him to the point of destruction. Loki knew though any minute he and all existence would disappear or he would be joined by his betrayer.

What seemed to be hours passed as the flames around him rose, with the screeching sound of the sufferers filled the air tickling Loki's spine as if it was he who was being tortured. A shriek from above filled the air as it fell closer and closer to the hard stone floor. Bartleby was now huddled on the ground clasping his head with his arms. As he stood he felt his chest and his head realizing that they were back to normal. "What have I done?" he sighed as he turned facing his friend who he had failed. "I'm sorry," he said as he began to weep.

Loki turned his back to him holding back his own tears and walked away towards his new home, the one he had feared of for so long. Azreal approached Loki in full white suit and chest. "I heard you got outsmarted by those two stoners," Loki said to him.

"Don't get me started! You didn't seem to get past them yourself." He replied on full defense.

"Hey, fuck you man, I had no plan of hurting those dudes, and they were pretty cool."

"Yeah well welcome to hell, stay away from the flames they can really make an ass sting. And stay away from that room over there." He said pointing to a door that said 'worst possible punishment ever.'

"Why?"

"They've been playing Mrs. Doubtfire in there for the past five years. And I heard next week they're showing Forces of Nature and All the Pretty Horses."

"Why would they want to make people suffer like that?"

"Well hence the name 'worst possible punishment ever'. Oh yeah, I'm supposed to tell you that Lucifer wants to see you and Bartleby right away."

"Well you'll have to pass the message onto that fuck cuz I ain't talking to him."

"Jesus, you two and your childish games. So the guy killed you, it's not like he slept with your wife or anything."

"I don't have a wife dumbass and even if I did we don't have dicks to fuck with!"

"Oh, in that case, what a fuck! I guess I'll have to tell him them."

"Thanks." Loki said as he backed away from Azreal. As he began to turn forward he knocked over a massive torch that continued to knock several other torches and finally stopped as it knocked over an enormous statue of Lucifer. "FUCK!" Loki screamed.

Azreal approached Bartleby who was still hunched over in a ball.

"Why look at this motha fucker right here." Azreal said rather cheerfully.

Bartleby looked up at him wiping his tear stained cheeks, "still pimpin I see." Bartleby replied giggling for the first time in what seemed forever.

"I just wanted to let you know how much I look up to you for being so brave and strong on your mission to get back up." Azreal sighed.

"Well I don't," Bartleby said with his eyes down cast.

"Lucifer wants to see you."

Bartleby just nodded as he stood up and walked towards the florescent sign reading 'Lucifer's Pit' not looking down at the ground as he tripped over a stone. The floor began to rumble as a small crack began to form on the surface, growing longer and larger till a big crack formed separating two portions of hell. "Damnit!" Bartleby screamed.

The two friends met again as they entered Lucifer's office. Loki stepped aside, "you first mon ami," he said as Bartleby thanked him. Loki stuck out his foot as he tripped him and he fell flat on his face. "Haha! Tricked you, you fuck!"

"Why does that get me every time?" Bartleby sighed.

"You know what," Loki began, "I guess that we could be friends again, if you let me kill you next time."

"I wouldn't wanna die again any other way. Did you hear about that moron that knocked over the Lucifer statue?"

Loki took a deep gulp, "Yeah," he responded, "what about that guy who split up hell back on the west side."

At the same time they sighed and said "yeah, I don't wanna talk about it."

The two former angels finally made it into Lucifer's office as they stood there waiting for him to speak. "You're supposed to bow." Lucifer said in anticipation.

The two looked at him bewildered. "Why?" Bartleby finally asked.

"Yeah, well no one likes you anyway!" Lucifer responded. "Jeez, you two have been here for two minutes and you've already given me a fucking head ache!"

"Just doing our best, sir." Loki responded.

"Well my two petite morons, have you seen the mass destruction of my once great kingdom?"

The two looked in different directions and Loki began to whistle the 'Martin' theme song. "I thought so," Lucifer said. "I'm beginning to see why God got rid of you two, and I never agree with her! So this is why I have decided to make an agreement with you."

"Agreement? What kind of agreement?" Bartleby asked.

"Well I have decided to send you back to Earth, New Jersey. I think another day with you two and hell would be destroyed!"

"Yeah and what do you get from this?" Loki cut in. "Do we have to sell our souls to you or something? Trick God into giving you the throne?"

"No, you see, I don't like you two, not at all."

"We love you too, sir." Loki remarked.

"See point proven. You two made me look a fool during your little escapade and it pissed me off. Now since I can't erase you from time I decided to send you to that nice little shit hole."

"Well Luc," Bartleby began, "Loki and I are beginning to like it a lot down here."

"What?" Loki began as Bartleby stomped him on the foot.

"If you want to get rid of us we're gonna need a few. hmm. benefits."

"And what is that?"

"Loki and I want to become angels again but with all the gear, you know anal organs, digestive system, not to forget immortality."

"Deal but same provisions, you ain't getting back into heaven, and if you try to I will have you buried into a hole and you ain't going nowhere heaven or hell got that?"

"Deal." Loki and Bartleby answered and with a snap of his fingers Bartleby and Loki disappeared.

A/N: I know a lot of that didn't make sense but it did before, really it did. I can try to write more if you want but you have to ask. Buh bye nah!