Pearl Harbor and The Real World
Sequel

A/N: Come on, you know you like PH cast member humor.
P.S. Seriously thinking of having Jay and Silent Bob. I haven't seen any of those movies, lol. But I am renting Dogma tonight and me and a bunch of my friends are seeing Strike Back in a few days.

Scene: Cuba, Josh, Ben, Kate, James, Alec all on the Pearl set.

Cuba: Where's darling Krysta?

Kate: She said she sneezed this morning and had to stay home.

James: NSYNC was on TRL today. Is that a coincidence?

Jerry: I will not tolerate that. We will cut out her part and she will not work for us, understood?

Cuba: Why? Poor Krysta dear.

(Jerry shakes his head and mumbles under his breath): I always get the gay ones.

Josh: H to the IZZ-O, V to the IZZ-A.

Ben: These fucked up retards.

Josh: Yo Jay-Z bro, when you gonna visit the crib man? I know Cuba probably scares the shit out of you, he does that to a lotta peeps. But come on bro, the house ain't that scary!

Kate: I've got a crush on you, I hope you feel the way that I do.

Josh: What white girl shit are you singing?

Kate: It's Mandy Moore. She is so talented and real. Not like Christina Aguilera. (that is one of my BIGGEST pet peeves when someone says that Jessica-Mandy-Christina-Britney is different than one of the other ones. THEY ARE ALL THE SAME.)

Alec: I like it. I've got...a crush on...you. I hope you...feel the way...that I do.

Ben: Jerry, do you have any real guns around here?

Jerry: Real? No. But I agree with you.

Josh: Dude! It's 4:45! We gotta watch TRL!

Cuba: Josh darling, I thought you didn't like that show.

Josh: No man! It's got some great music. Puffy, Jay-Z, Sum 41, Alien Ant Farm, Little T and One Track Mike. Awesome shit, man.

Cuba: Okey dokey Josh baby!

(Josh turns on TV)

James: Isn't that Krysta?

Sure enough, Krysta is standing there with a huge sign that reads "I WANT TO BE MRS. NSYNC!"

Ben: God, help us all. Help all the fucking retards that clog our country. Hell, help all the fucking retards that clog our house!

Carson Daly: I like your sign. What's your name?

Krysta: Oh my God, am I on TRL?

Carson: Yes.

Krysta: Hi, I'm Krysta! Oh my God, is NSYNC here?

Carson: Um, yea.

Krysta: Oh crap, what if Josh sees this? What if Jerry sees this? I'M DEAD!

Carson: Who's Josh and Jerry?

Krysta: Josh Hartnett, he likes this show.

Josh: THAT'S ME!

Krysta: and Jerry Brukheimer is making the movie I am in!

Carson: Josh Hartnett? Like the teen flick guy?

Krysta: Dunno. He's just this guy that lives with me. But so does Ben, Cuba, Alec, Kate, and James.

Carson: Do these people have last names?

Krysta: Ben Affleck, Cuba Gooding Jr., Alec Baldwin, Kate Beckinsale, James King.

Carson(looking like he hit the lottery): You live with these people? (thinks for a minute) You're on the Real World, aren't you?

Krysta: Yea.

Carson: Ladies and gentlemen, this was not planned. It just goes to show you what can happen on a live show.

Krysta: Where's NSYNC?

Carson: And after this video, NSYNC!

Sum 41 comes on the screen.

Josh: I DON'T WANNA WASTE MY TIME, BECOME ANOTHER CASUALTY OF SOCIETY!

Ben: Shut him the hell up.

Josh: Sorry.

James: So, Krysta's out, right?

Jerry: That little bitch. Going off to New York in the middle of shooting!

Kate: Oh my Gosh Carson is so hot!

Alec: Hey, ain't that the girl who used to live with us? (he points at screen)

Ben: Yes, you fucking bitch! (Cuba giggles) Who do you think we were talking about.

Cuba: Sh, she's talking.

Krysta: Hi, Justin. I'm like so your biggest fan EVER!

Justin: Yo, watch u talkin bout? Britney said she was my biggest fan! That girl has a RACK!

Alec: Damn straight.

Joey: What about me?

Krysta: You're fat.

Joey: I am not fat! I'm skinnily challenged. Right Lance?

Lance(who was checking out Joey's ass): What? Skinnily challenged? Right.

Cuba: Oh my God. I think I found my soulmate! (gets out cell phone)

Krysta(cell phone rings): Hello?

Cuba: Ask Lance if he'll go out with me.

Krysta: Um, okay. Lance, do you know Cuba Gooding Jr.?

Lance(giggles): Yes.

Krysta whispers in Lance's ear.

Lance: Oh my Gosh yes! Yes yes yes!

Krysta(in to cell phone): Uh, he said yes.

Cuba: OH MY GOSH! NO WAY! I need a new outfit and a Gucci handbag! Oh, no time, no time! (runs off set).

Krysta: Moving on.

Chris: Why is no one MY biggest fan?

Krysta: Might be the wheelchair races you participate in.

Chris: WHEELCHAIR RACES RULE!

Krysta: Justin, call me! Okay! I love you!

Justin: Who dat?

JC: I was gonna marry Bobby but I got high. I was gonna be Mr. Bobby but I got high. Now I'm a depressed ass and I think you know why. Cuz I got high, cuz I got high, cuz I got high.

Another Girl: OH MY GOSH, JC I WANT TO HAVE YOUR CHILD!

Joey: Why doesn't anyone want to have my child? Oh, TWINKIES!

Carson: And now we all know why NSYNC sucks. It's because they got high. Later.

TRL signs off.

Josh: That was interesting.

Ben: Who are the fucked up retards that run that show?

Alec: I got a girl waiting for me. I'm leaving.

Ben: Going home.

Josh: Me too.

Kate: MANDY MOORE CONCERT TONIGHT!

Cuba(reenters the set): Did someone say Mandy Moore?

James: Uh, Ben. Wait up!

They all leave.

Jerry: There goes my blockbuster hit.