By LEONheart Kennedy
Chapter Two
OR.......
"Bart, I REALLY need that!"
Bart is still dragging Fei around the Yggdrasil by the collor of his shirt, heading forward the hanger, varous crew members point and laugh at the bawling Fei.
Fei: Bart, please, let me go! Wah! What if Elly see's us?
Bart: Oh, shut up, quit bitchin', and be a man. We're going to Aveh and we're going to go on a date if you like it or not.
Fei: Well, *sweat* if we're going on a date, don't we need to dress up? *Bart stops.*
Bart: Hey, you're right! I need to put something on! *Jerks Fei forward so that their noses almost touch.* And just to make sure you don't escape, we'll have to change in my room.
Fei: Your room........you don't mean...........*Bart Smiles* I'M NOT GETTING UNDRESSED IN FRONT OF YOU!
Bart: Oh, really. *Cracks her whip.*
Fei: Well, ah.............
Bart: That's what I thought!!! *Drags Fei to her room, opens the door and.....* AAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Fei: What? What's wroooooooAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
*-------------------------------------*
Sigurd is now waiting by the hanger, hoping to stop Bart before she kidnaps Fei.
Sigurd: When and where did I go wrong? I mean, how wrong is it to keep a persons real gender a secret from them if it's for the good of the country? Not that wrong...well then again.......*He's soon cut off as the door to hanger is opened and in runs Fei with Bart cradled in his arms, rushing torward Xenogears. Both of them screaming bloodly murder.* Bart, Fei? *Starts running* What's wrong? *Sig notices that Bart is openly crying her eyes out.*
Fei: Can't stop and talk now Sigurd, we have to go. NOW!!!!!!!!! *Fei rushes to Xenogears' cockpit, sets Bart into it, sits down himself, and hauls ass out of the ship by crashing through the ceiling.*
Sigurd: What the hell was that about?? *The hanger door opens once more and here rushes in Rico wearing nothing but a leather thong with buckles and holding a bunch of flowers.
Rico: You better not come back Fei or I'll preform a Lorana Bobitt on your sorry, fucking, slut ass, for taking away my BARTY! *See's Sigurd looking at him in shock* What are YOU staring at?
*----------------------*
Both Bart and Fei are now 1,000 feet above the Yggdrasil in Xenogears, Bart rocking back and forth with her knees drawn up to her chest while Fei trys to see strait.
Bart: Think happy thoughts, think happy thoughts, happy place, happy place, dark chocholate, Squaresoft games, silk dress, Star Ocean EX, daddy, yaoi doujinshi, happy thoughts......
Fei: It's okay Bart, we're away from him. Far, far away........
Bart: Oh, Fei, my hero. *Grabs Fei's face and pull him into a deep kiss*
Fei: MMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmpppppphhhhhhhhhh!! *Pulls Bart way* Bart, can I please land the gear before you start that again?
Bart: Hell, no, I'm HORNEY NOW! *Yanks Fei's seat back and strattles Fei's hips.*
Fei: Bart, I need to pilot the gear! *Bart growls and hits the 'autopilot' button.*
Bart: There, now shut the fuck up and FUCK ME!! *Reaches down and rips Fei's crappy green pants off*
Fei: HEY, watch out, I need that...err....equiptment down there.
Bart: Well so do I..........
Fei: Wait, Bart...we shouldn't...... BART!!!!!!!!!!
*-------------------------------------*
Sigurd: I can't believe you did that Rico? Have you no shame?
Rico: Hey, don't look at me, Elly told me to be direct.
Elly: That's not what I ment! Durring what part of the conversation did I say 'Sneak into Bart's room and stay there in nothing but a dishcloth worth of leather and a smile?'
Sigurd: Well, no we have to find Bart and Fei before something bad happens.
Elly: Like what? *All of a sudden, the walkie-talkie used to communicate with Xenogears springs to life. I don't know if there is such a thing, but hell, it's my story and it's there!*
Sigurd: *Picks it up* Bart? Fei? Do you read? *Nothing but static, until the moans and pants of Bart and Fei fill the room.
Fei: Yes, YES! Who's my dirty girl who likes it from behind?
Bart: YES! OH, god! Harder Fei! HARDER! YES!!!
Sigurd: Oh.....my........GOD!!!!!
Rico:..........I'LL KILL HIM.
Bart: Huff..........huff....yes......oh.......oh.....ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!
*---------------------------------*
Bart: *Takes her thumb off the 'call' button on the walkie-talkie* You're right Fei, this is fucking hillarious.
Fei: *Snickers* Give me it! Gimmie!!!! *Thumbs the call button* Oh, Bart! You're such a dirty little girl, aren't you? So dirty...........! Scream my name, baby, SCREAM IT! *Bart snatches the talkie*
Bart: Fei!!! FEI!!! Punish me, I've been so very bad! *Takes her thumb off the call button* Hahahahahahahahh!!! Your turn, your turn!*
Fei: *Thumbs the button* Alright, my dirty little butt pirate, how do you like this. *starts to grunt* You like that Bart, huh, you like that? I bet a dirty little pirate like you would love it if I just fucked you all day huh, you little slut.
Bart: ........... Fei, that was a bit too harsh............
Fei: Yeah, you're right, sorry............ *thumbs the button* ...... You've been such a good little girl, how about I lick you right there.....huh..........
Bart: *joining Fei in the gag* Ohhhhhhhhhh, ffffffeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiii, ooooooooohhhhhhhhhh............don't stop, don't.......feels soooooooo gooooooddddddd.........
*---------------------------------*
Sigurd: Forget you killing Fei, I'M GONNA DO IT! *Everyone stars at Sigurd.* Nobody fucks my little sister in the ass and then calls her a slut, nobody!! HE'S DEAD!!!!!
Rico: Hell no, I called it. I get to kill him!!!!
Elly: No, I'm gonna kill him!
Sigurd: Well, how do we decide who gets to kill him.
Elly: *Holds up a deak of cards.* Poke'mon anyone?
*---------------------------------*
Bart: Okay, that's enough. *hangs up the walkie talkie.* That was fun though.
Fei: yeah, we should do it more often.
*silence*
Bart: Not bad for our first date.
Fei: ......yeah........
Bart: ...............
Fei: Bart......... * Bart faces Fei, who captures her lips in a deep kiss. Moments pass before fei lays Bart down in the chair and gos about removing her clothes.
*------------------------------------*
Who will kill Fei? Who is the ultimate Poke'mon Xenogears master? When will Fei realise he doesn't have a condom? Will Rico ever have Bart as his own? What's up Elly's ass? What will Fei and Bart do for a second date? Find out next time on 'Revenge of the Tomboy Princess!'
Elly: I choose you, Weezing!
