insert standard disclaimer here
comments/criticism/worshipful praise/flames to pyro72@excite.com
Takes place between episodes 6 and 7, on Shenju and Shido's wedding
night.
Forgive Me
Shido-sama was crying.
I gently nudged him awake. It was still hard to believe that
Shido-sama, the most perfect man I had ever met, was my husband and
was sleeping next to me. But even more shocking was the fact that
right now he was weeping like a small child.
"Shido-sama," I whispered, "wake up. You're crying."
He did wake, then, and gathered me tightly in his arms. I could feel
his tears soaking into my hair.
"What's wrong? Did you have a bad dream?"
"Worse than bad," he muttered. "I don't want to upset you with it."
I drew back enough so I could see his face. "Please, Shido-sama," I
pleaded. "Tell me. I've wanted to be with you for so long, and now...
you're leaving tomorrow, and I still want to know all about you. So
please... tell me?"
He sighed, then rolled over onto his back and stared at the ceiling.
"Do you remember a slave boy in my family when we were kids? He had
white hair. His name was Ageha."
I frowned. A slave boy? I don't really remember slaves... well, there
was that one he..
"You mean the one you were always stealing food for?"
"Yes, him." Shido-sama laughed bitterly. "Even when I tried helping
him, he hated me. He was the closest person I had to a friend besides
Shuri."
"Did something happen to him?"
"Yes." He paused, then turned and looked at me fully in the eye. "I
beat him a few days ago."
Normally I would gasp or do something similar, but I remained silent,
waiting for him to continue.
"He knew where Tatara was, but he wouldn't tell us. So we captured
him. And then I had him whipped." Again he laughed bitterly. "Ageha
always was so proud. Even after being beaten bloody, he still wouldn't
talk."
"He knew where Tatara was! He's a rebel! Why is he upsetting you so
much?" I cried, empassioned. In the morning my dear husband would be
leaving to fight Tatara, and he could possibly... well, of course he'd
survive. But any friend of Tatara's was just another enemy for Shido
to face and be hurt by. I couldn't forgive any of them if anything
ever happened -
"Yes, he is a friend of Tatara's," Shido-sama said, almost as if he
was reading my thoughts. "And he will never lead Tatara wrong. He did
for Tatara exactly what I would do for Shuri." He sighed and kissed my
forehead. "It was killing me to hurt him," he admitted ruefully. "It
was the first time in my life I ever raised a hand against Ageha. When
he was with my family, I tried to be kind to him. I didn't want to be
anything like my father, who beat him indiscriminately. But my actions
a few days ago probably confirmed what he always suspected." He shook
his head slightly, his warm breath teasing my bangs. "Even though I
gave him his freedom, he'll never forgive me. Especially not now."
"That's not true!" I exclaimed, raising myself up on one elbow.
"You're a wonderful, kind person. You cared about him, and he betrayed
you. One day he'll see his mistake and realize how kind and loving
and wonderful..." I couldn't help it anymore. I started crying.
Tomorrow, my husband of one day would be taken away from me, taken
away by all those horrible men - Tatara, Ageha, even the Red King -
who wouldn't let him lead a peaceful life.
"Sshhhhh," he whispered, taking my face into his hands and gently
kissing the tears away. "Maybe you're right and one day he will
forgive me. When all this is over and we have the country we've been
dreaming of."
He held me gently and rocked me until I started to doze off. Just on
the edge of sleep, though, I heard him whisper,
"Maybe he will forgive me. But by then it may be too late."
comments/criticism/worshipful praise/flames to pyro72@excite.com
Takes place between episodes 6 and 7, on Shenju and Shido's wedding
night.
Forgive Me
Shido-sama was crying.
I gently nudged him awake. It was still hard to believe that
Shido-sama, the most perfect man I had ever met, was my husband and
was sleeping next to me. But even more shocking was the fact that
right now he was weeping like a small child.
"Shido-sama," I whispered, "wake up. You're crying."
He did wake, then, and gathered me tightly in his arms. I could feel
his tears soaking into my hair.
"What's wrong? Did you have a bad dream?"
"Worse than bad," he muttered. "I don't want to upset you with it."
I drew back enough so I could see his face. "Please, Shido-sama," I
pleaded. "Tell me. I've wanted to be with you for so long, and now...
you're leaving tomorrow, and I still want to know all about you. So
please... tell me?"
He sighed, then rolled over onto his back and stared at the ceiling.
"Do you remember a slave boy in my family when we were kids? He had
white hair. His name was Ageha."
I frowned. A slave boy? I don't really remember slaves... well, there
was that one he..
"You mean the one you were always stealing food for?"
"Yes, him." Shido-sama laughed bitterly. "Even when I tried helping
him, he hated me. He was the closest person I had to a friend besides
Shuri."
"Did something happen to him?"
"Yes." He paused, then turned and looked at me fully in the eye. "I
beat him a few days ago."
Normally I would gasp or do something similar, but I remained silent,
waiting for him to continue.
"He knew where Tatara was, but he wouldn't tell us. So we captured
him. And then I had him whipped." Again he laughed bitterly. "Ageha
always was so proud. Even after being beaten bloody, he still wouldn't
talk."
"He knew where Tatara was! He's a rebel! Why is he upsetting you so
much?" I cried, empassioned. In the morning my dear husband would be
leaving to fight Tatara, and he could possibly... well, of course he'd
survive. But any friend of Tatara's was just another enemy for Shido
to face and be hurt by. I couldn't forgive any of them if anything
ever happened -
"Yes, he is a friend of Tatara's," Shido-sama said, almost as if he
was reading my thoughts. "And he will never lead Tatara wrong. He did
for Tatara exactly what I would do for Shuri." He sighed and kissed my
forehead. "It was killing me to hurt him," he admitted ruefully. "It
was the first time in my life I ever raised a hand against Ageha. When
he was with my family, I tried to be kind to him. I didn't want to be
anything like my father, who beat him indiscriminately. But my actions
a few days ago probably confirmed what he always suspected." He shook
his head slightly, his warm breath teasing my bangs. "Even though I
gave him his freedom, he'll never forgive me. Especially not now."
"That's not true!" I exclaimed, raising myself up on one elbow.
"You're a wonderful, kind person. You cared about him, and he betrayed
you. One day he'll see his mistake and realize how kind and loving
and wonderful..." I couldn't help it anymore. I started crying.
Tomorrow, my husband of one day would be taken away from me, taken
away by all those horrible men - Tatara, Ageha, even the Red King -
who wouldn't let him lead a peaceful life.
"Sshhhhh," he whispered, taking my face into his hands and gently
kissing the tears away. "Maybe you're right and one day he will
forgive me. When all this is over and we have the country we've been
dreaming of."
He held me gently and rocked me until I started to doze off. Just on
the edge of sleep, though, I heard him whisper,
"Maybe he will forgive me. But by then it may be too late."
