Uninvited: Defender of the Child
by You-Know-Who and Drucilla
Disclaimer: Yeah, they're still not ours, and we still wish they were. The lyrics aren't ours either, as far as we know they belong to Mercedes Lackey. Pretty song, very Holtz. Anyway... please read, please review, please enjoy. And no, it's still not what you think.

"Another friend
This means that the blood will fall
Can it not end
Why should I try having love at all
Sword is drawn, you take that stand
Soon you'll sever friendship's hand
Added to the bodies piled
Defender of the child!"
-- Mercedes Lackey, "Defender of the Child"

Tara had found a rather disgusting job as a waitress at a small restaurant not to far away from Holtz's crypt. She hated it there, but at least she was able to be some semblance of useful. She was also able to get some furnishings for where she was living with the money. She'd decided to call it a crypt, because it really was... but that didn't mean it had to be entirely uninhabitable. She was able to buy a decent bed from a second hand store as she didn't want to leave him with nowhere to sleep. She felt a bit awkward about buying a bed for someone else's house, especially a man, especially a man old enough to be her father, but she comforted herself with the fact that it was a twin bed, and the only way someone would be sharing it would be if they really didn't mind being hideously uncomfortable. And besides, it wasn't a house, it was a crypt. Dammit.

She had also bought a small rug. Hey, it was a step in the right direction. And besides, then the floor wouldn't be so cold in the mornings. Sometimes, despite the fact that it was LA and supposed to be nice-temperatured all year round, she would have sworn that it was winter just in that one room just to bother her.

She rather cheerfully set up the bed and rug after work. Lamps had also been rather nessecary considering how dark it was down there. She had bought some cheap books as well needing something to do when Holtz was monosyllabic.For a quarter, though they were well worth it considering her financial situation. Besides, having a lamp to read by was a good first step in being able to read a book.

He didn't seem to notice, though, when he came downstairs after an absence of roughtly 20 hours, looking exhausted, roughed-up, and frustrated.She looked up from a particularly trashy novel and frowned. He really did work too hard. He stripped off his jacket, practically dumped the weapons into the chest with the barest consideration for weapons etiquette, and sank heavily into a chair. She set the book down on her bed and looked over at him. "Hard day?"

He made a grunting noise of assent, then blinked and seemed to remember that she was there. He looked over at her... and noticed the furniture for the first time, and looked around wildly as though it was going to bite him.

"Umm....I thought I should probably get a bed so I didn't have to use yours," she said brightly. At least he'd get a good night's sleep now. Maybe. He seemed to have an inordinate amount of nightmares, though he never, ever acknowledged that they existed."And...I thought a lamp or two would be nice. It's kinda dark in here," she added.

He stared at her like she'd grown a second head. "......." She grinned sheepishly. "You might not think so, but I didn't want to read by candlelight."

He looked around. "And the carpet?"

"So my feet don't get cold," she said smiling.

"Ah....." he nodded slowly, still completely flabbergasted and perplexed.

"I hope you don't mind," she said resisting the urge to chuckle at his facial expression. He shook his head dumbly. "Okay," she said going back to her romance novel. He just kept staring at her, not sure at all what to do with her now. Tara put the book down again and looked over at him. "Are...you okay?"

"Yes..." he said almost automatically, or too quickly. "Of course..."

"You wouldn't tell me otherwise anyway though," Tara pointed out.

He blinked at her. For some reason, he didn't look like he'd expected her to figure that part out.

"I could make you some tea," Tara offered. He kept staring, surprise growing ever more evident. It didn't even seem to be displeased surprise. He just looked like he hadn't expected her to become domestic, abruptly. Tara cocked her head. "Or not...."

He finally snapped out of it, blinking a great deal as if to clear his eyes. "Oh... tea... yes, that would be.. nice. Thank you."

Tara nodded and set her book down on the bed before going off to get tea. She had a cup after work and that had been nice. His job was probably more stressful but...like so many things a cup of tea was a move in the right direction. Direction of what, she wasn't sure. But hey. She set the kettle to boil and rummaged around for some tea bags. Despite her reservations about the demon, she was glad he was good at grocery shopping.

Holtz watched her with a peculiar set of expressions on his face. Confusion warred with amusement, both of them battling belligerence and something tentative she couldn't quite figure out.

She hummed waiting for the water to boil a bit impatiently. Behind her, Holtz stood up, slowly walking the length of the room. He looked as though he was getting used to the new configuration, maybe in case he had to fight in it, or maybe just getting used to things like a normal human being.

She quietly sang "Greenselves" to herself seeing as he seemed to like older songs....well, older things in general. She imagined she'd figure out just what was up with that more clearly as time went by. After a little while, more to himself, he began to hum along with her and then, slowly and very softly, to sing. He didn't actually have that bad a voice; it was quite pleasent. Comforting. She began to do the countermelody as he began to sing it softly. As he realized what she was doing, he began to sing slightly louder, for her as well as for himself.

Tara sang slightly louder as well and jumped a bit startled when the tea kettle began to make a high pitched whine. Holtz stopped singing altogether. She took the tea kettle off the stove and filled the two cups she had set aside with water.

She handed him one of the cup and added some honey to her's. He murmured thanks to her as he took the cup, careful with his fingertips and the hot cup. She sat down at the small table and waited for her tea to cool down. He watched her over the brim of his cup, more settled, now. She smiled down at her tea cup. She wondered why he looked at her so much.

After he ascertained that she probably wasn't going to pull any more surprises out of her hat, he began to carefully sip the tea. Tara sipped at hers as well after awhile, bemused.

After a while it cooled enough that he could actually taste it, and he made a pleasently surprised face at the taste. "Good..." he said quietly, drinking in the tea with a soothed, calmed expression on his face. His eyes were starting to drift closed.

Tara smiled and finished drinking hers. She felt better in general and began thinking about what else to get for the crypt. Tara nodded. "You should go sleep," she suggested picking up his cup and hers, moving to the sink to rinse them off.

He startled, waking up abruptly. "I'm n..." he started to protest, then blinked abruptly as he realized what he was about to say. Tara chuckled. He scowled at her. "You're too good at that."

She chuckled some more. "Sorry." He shook his head and sank further into his chair, almost sulking. After a while though, he did start to nod off. She coughed. "Ahem...sleep. You can even use your bed."

He blinked at her. He was so tired he didn't even realize he was half asleep. "Mmm?"

She shooked her head amusedly. "You need to sleep." She got up and went over to help him out of the chair. He made some sort of growling comment at her and jerked away. At least, he tried to jerk away. It was more of a limp tug. Tara moved back a bit startled. "Okay....sleep here then."

He half-heartedly glared at her, a glare that was muted by the fact that he couldn't keep his eyes opened. She thought he was trying to say something derisive, but the first part didn't come out at all and the second part was something that sounded like. "...haven't needed a mother for 25 years." She thought. He was slurring, he was so tired.

Tara shook her head. "No, but you could use some sleep."

"'m fine..." he yawned in the middle of the sentence, which completely ruined the effect. This in fact made him so irritated that he sprang up out of his chair and attempted to stride grumpily around the room.

Tara covered her mouth with her hands and attempted to conceal a giggle. He glared at her tiredly, but was starting to acknowledge that it was a losing battle. Clearly, however, his male dignity was protesting strenuously at being mothered by a young woman.

"We can make a deal," Tara said trying not to smirk. "You sleep, I leave you alone."

He sighed. "I am an adult, you know. I can put myself to bed."

"I know, so go to sleep," Tara said attempting to not look amused.

He started to retort, stopped, thought about it, and settled for glaring, knowing that she was right and he was being childish. Tara chuckled. "I offered to leave you alone." He made a vague sort of grumpy noise at her, entirely unsure how to react to a young woman who was mothering him kindly and determinedly. Tara snorted in amusement. "Go. Sleep. Please?"

"You're not too old to put across my knee, you know," he commented grumpily, throwing his coat over the chair and making his way over to the bed. Slowly, making a point.

"True, but this changes nothing," Tara said folding her arms as she followed him still amused.

"Are you going to tuck me in, now?" he grumped at her. His tone, though, was changing from decidedly displeased to wryly accepting.

If you like," Tara said beaming up at him ingratiatingly.

He was seated on the bed and about to lay down when she said that, and stared at her incredulously. "You wouldn't...."

Tara grinned. "Oh wouldn't I?"

He started to shake his head, and then he actually saw her expression. He lay back on the bed slowly, almost looking as though he were afraid she was going to attack him with kindness."I.... I'm not sure."

Tara giggled. "I think I will." She began to tuck him in. He stared at her, nearly cringing back from her hands, utterly incredulous. Tara cocked her head questioning. "What?"

"You... you're..." he actually seemed afraid of her, though there was no discernible reason why. She frowned, afraid she was doing something wrong, but waited to see if he would end the sentence. "Why....?" he asked finally, his face clouding back over with the usual lack of expression as he practically burrowed under the covers.

"Because, you tucked me in," Tara said softly.

He sighed, giving up or giving in, and just lay back and closed his eyes, tacitly surrendering. Tara wasn't sure if he would be happy if she sang so she decided not to.... "Sweet dreams," she said sweetly. He muttered something that sounded vaguely rude and definitely sleepy. After a while his breathing evened out, his posture relaxed into sleep.

Tara hesitantly went over to her bed and picked back up the silly novel she had been reading trying to puzzle out what all that had meant. After a while, he began to twitch slightly, muttering agitatedly as he usually did. Nightmares, she'd guessed. Tara put the book down and went over to his bed. Yeah, it probably would tick him off...but... She began singing "Scarborough Faire" in a soft, soothing voice. It actually seemed to have an effect. Slowly, he stopped muttering, stopped twitching, and eventually lay quiet. She sang as many verses that she knew and when he seemed to drift off, she went back to her bed silently.

No sooner had she gotten back to her bed and gotten settled when he started writhing again, more so than she'd gotten used to seeing. It looked as though he were almost battling someone. She caught a few words, mostly protestations and denials... and then a loud, anguished scream of rage as he sat up so violently he nearly fell off the bed entirely.

She gasped and raced back to the bed to see if she could help him at all. How awful! He didn't deserve this at all.... He'd woken up, pale and shaking, and was staring around as though he had no idea where he was or who she was. She wrung her hands trying to figure out what was wrong. She sat down tentatively at the end of the bed.

He looked around wildly, his eyes finally coming to rest on her with a slowly-clearing expression. He looked as though he were trying to return to the usual stern emotionless facade (it was a facade, she was rapidly realizing) he maintained around her, but was failing miserably. His eyes were so sad... but he was slowly winning the struggle to maintain control, to stay calm and ice cold.

She looked at him wishing there was something she could do to help. She began singing a soothing lullaby hoping it would help him even if he was trying to hide his pain. He stared at her sharply, with mingled disgust and annoyance... and relief and gratitude. She continued to remain troubled and concerned as she sang. After a short while annoyance and stubborn refusal to acknowledge a connection to anyone won out. He turned away from her and lay back down.

She let her voice trail off and got off the bed returning to her own miserably. She turned off the lamp next to her bed, set her book on the floor and got ready to go to sleep herself. If he wanted to be alone, she decided, she'd leave him alone....for now. She felt his eyes on her back for a long time, though, before he finally slept.

She found it hard to go to sleep at all even after he fell asleep.....unsure what to do or if she was the problem. He needed to pursue more pleasant interests, she determined. She'd have to find a way to cheer him up so he wouldn't be in so much pain. She also, she decided suddenly, should find out if he had more of a name than just... "Holtz." It sounded so... so much like a hitman and he wasn't just a vampire slayer. Maybe that was the biggest problem... except that if he had personal reasons for devoting his life to dusting the undead...which she understood.... but.....oh well...he needed a friend if nothing else...even if he didn't think he did.

She sighed and curled up under her own covers, listening to him toss and turn. She missed Willow suddenly, missed having someone to hold her at night and be brave for her. Now that she was suddenly thrust into the position, not of mothering people because she'd done that all the time for the Scoobies, but of being brave... now that she had to be the brave one, she wasn't liking it at all.

She miserably supposed she'd have to get used to it...She could be brave...but it made her feel so lonely....If only Willow hadn't been so... well, stupid, Tara was forced to admit. She'd been arrogant, and she'd been stupid. Tara'd seen the consequences of excessive uses of magic, over and over again she'd seen them. And yeah, maybe she was a bit paranoid about using magic because of it, but that didn't mean Willow had to try and compensate for it. And then Willow had taken away her memories and nearly everyone else's. She was so selfish sometimes. She.....Tara missed her....but...what else had she been supposed to do besides leave?

She needed to get over Willow. Find some other nice woman her age. Only... she had no idea how to go about looking. She needed something she could rely on more than anything else. Some semblance of security....which is why she had left...and now...well, she didn't quite know where she was at, but she had definitely taken a different route than she had intended....

She sighed. She wouldn't meet anyone nice where she worked. Maybe she should go out to a club or something. At any rate ... then again, considering some of the people at the few clubs she'd been to... maybe the bookstores. Or some place. Somewhere. Anywhere. There had to be someone she could depend on. Willow had been her first real girlfriend, and now that she was gone, Tara missed her... but also missed having someone who was just... there.

She couldn't go back to Sunnydale....she had to make this work somehow. But right now, in the middle of the night, working at a greasy spoon with only a depressed, obssessive, nightmare-prone older man vampire hunter for company... she was so very lonely.