Disclaimer- I don't own HP, Korn, Terry Pratchett or Adema. And if you know of an extremely good Internet Latin-English dictionary, talk at me!
A/N- Yeah! People are enjoying this and reviewing! Oh well, this is the last chapter, until the Sequel that is!
SOMEBODY, SOMEONE?
A week. A week that had lasted a year. Lucius poured through the Octavo, looking for a spell, one that would allow them into another's mind. He was drunk again; there was no other way to truly read the Octavo, which was why it took so long. The Octavo burned, it penetrated the mind and ripped it into pieces, the shield of alcohol was all that separated you from insanity.
Lucius wasn't even sure of that anymore.
I can't stand to let you win
I'm just watching you
And I don't know what to do
Draco had been hiding; it was impossible to not see. Him, everywhere. That bastard was following him, making him think making his wrists hurt. Oh god his wrists hurt, he could see the blood on his arms still, it coated them, he was never clean. He'd had to go to the infirmary three times already, boiling water hadn't worked, neither had the sand paper or the fire… It only left more, more blood…
Draco leaned over the toilet again and threw up. Again.
Feeling like a fool inside
Feeling all the love you hide
Thought you were my friend
Seems it never ends
Ron was- different. Aside from that fact that Harry was acting so cold, Ron seemed withdrawn, folded up like a wilted flower. His hair was disheveled, and he didn't look at anything in particular. Hermione still spent time in the library, although the books she was reading were greatly different from the ones she had been reading. Her grades had actually begun to slip slightly, something that let people and professors know that something was wrong.
Ron was vacant though, although if you watched closely, you could see the pain in his eyes whenever he looked at Harry, the absolute betrayal…
I need somebody, someone
Can somebody help me?
All I need is some pain
Not just for me
Harry though… Harry was scary. People attempted to talk to him, everyone did, and all he did was smile a strange smile that sent shivers of fear down their spines, shivers that burned.
Inside Harry's mind the world was broken, it was torn into fragments. He no longer slept even though his entire body was dominated by needing to sleep, to die. He no longer craved pain, he only craved release, and soon it would be time… He could sense it, linked as he was to Wormtail, linked as he was to the very soul of the man that had killed his parents, that was in his debt-
That stopped him from endless beautiful oblivion.
Giving you with this and that
Giving gave nothing back
It's all related to
All the things I do
Dumbledore tore his hair in frustration, there had to be something he could do! Lucius was helping as much as he could, but they needed to reach Harry on a deeper level. Dumbledore knew that he was locking his feelings away, he knew that deep seated urge to sleep, to let the troubles hurt no more, to let it all go away, just let it all float away…
"No, we must do something, I must-" And Dumbledore stopped, he needed something to heal both Harry and Draco, and he knew… He took out his wand, and looked at it. What he was about to do was illegal in almost all wizarding countries, an unforgivable curse that was as effective as it was unpredictable.
There was no other choice.
Feeling like a fool inside
Seeing all the things you tried
I am nothing
And yet to Harry, the world was perfect. He had learned about 10 new hexes this week alone. He practiced constantly and had weaseled several all-purpose passes from the new DADA teacher who was in awe of him. Stupid whore that she was…
Harry's eyes didn't sparkle, they didn't show emotion. They weren't full of hate, Harry didn't hate, he didn't love, he did something so much more dangerous, his eyes chilled anyone that looked into them to the core of their soul. His eyes were filled with frozen iron will, it wasn't hate, it wasn't anger, it wasn't determination and yet it was all three mixed with a peculiar sadism and unholy amusement. Harry's eyes didn't see people any more; they saw things, comprehensive things, but things.
He looked through the book, turning the pages slowly and with a certain amount of leisure. His eyes alighted on a word and he smiled. At last, the Inficio hexes, the three greatest poison curses a wizard had ever invented. Invented by an ancient Japanese sorceress, each had a different affect. The first didn't affect the person for at least two days, before giving them a fever that wouldn't break unless they were given the blood of a white tiger killed on a Monday in the fog. The second took only a few hours, but it made a person die slowly over the course of a couple years, it was very similar to ALS, and yet it was the last one that was the most horrible.
It took effect immediately. It made every single sense except touch shut down. And then over the course of 3 days and 2 hours (the book said the witch had calculated it quite extensively) the body would bleed to death from the inside out as the blood was slowly transformed to acid, and the worst part was that it actually kept your body alive as it happened. Harry smiled.
It was perfect.
Can somebody help me?
All I need is some pain
Not just for me
Dumbledore looked at Lucius, the man was still a little tipsy looking, but he knew his mind was functioning now. The sobering charm was particularly affective when cast by a powerful wizard, Dumbledore fit the bill. Draco walked alongside them, his eyes casting to each side nervously, his hand clutching his wrist as it twinged with pain. Lucius looked at him worriedly before it was buried under his façade of indifference.
They walked into the library and stood before Harry who looked up from memorizing the last Inficio hex. His eyes flashed, he knew that Dumbledore was up to something. Dumbledore looked at Lucius and nodded. Lucius flicked his wand and Draco was suddenly flung up over the table and next to Harry, and then Dumbledore uttered two words that would either save the two, or break them.
"Persentio Animus!"
I look, I sign
I need someone
Inside to help me out
Draco screamed as he felt pain, a depth of sorrow and blackness and despair that was unimaginable. How could emotion hurt like this? He wanted to cry, to let himself go crazy with racking sobs, and the feelings wouldn't even let him. He then felt anger, surges of wild hatred, and then cold, nothing but ice…
Harry didn't feel anything aside from fear, fear and something intangible, something that was angry, but panicky. His own emotions overruled it as his betrayal made him manifest power that he didn't know he had. Lucius' eyes widened, Harry was able to control his power, without a wand-
With what
I'm trying
I'm crying
I'm praying
In a pile of
Shit
I'm dying
I'm dying…
Harry's eyes flared and his body cracked with power, it exploded forth from him and swept through the room, the rock by him cracked and windows shattered. The flagstones grew hot and then froze, Harry looked like a vengeful god, a demon of death and hate and ice… Books near him froze and ice crept all over the library, students were screaming and the air was cold, colder than anything anyone there had ever felt, except for Harry, who lived with it every day buried in his soul. Only now it wasn't only in his soul, it was in Draco's.
He didn't care though, couldn't care. He felt nothing, nothing could touch him and- He suddenly found another power pressing down on him, one that made his look weak and pathetic, he knew that it was Dumbledore, and it made him angrier, in vain. The power suppressed his rage and dampened his hatred, and then it happened-
He heard Draco's screams…
I need somebody, somebody, somebody, someone
I need somebody, somebody, somebody, someone
Someone…A/N- I couldn't post something so short, so here's more!
The room cracked with tension, the strain was palpable in the air, it hummed and vibrated with energy. Lucius fought the magic that held him as he was forced to listen to Draco's screaming. Dumbledore restrained him though, just as he restrained Harry's strength. And yet-
Harry walked over to Draco, and looked at him, curiously. The boy was writhing on the floor, arching his body in sheer agony. Harry wondered at how Draco was able to get so much pain. He touched him and Draco's agony became his, and Harry smiled. The ice was being backed off; the pain was melding with it. Something was whispering in his ear, just a little longer, then it'll all go away, all of it…
"You old fool." The words were said with force, venom, they were said into people's minds. Dumbledore grimaced as he felt a surge of force from Harry. Draco sobbed; great dry heaving sobs that racked his rib cage with pain. It crackled, it was dry and it hurt sharply.
"Harry…" Draco whispered and something flickered across Harry's face. And then it was gone. Dumbledore yelled with triumph inside his head, but maintained his calm, if only Draco could break through…
"Harry? What is going on here?" Harry looked up into Hermione's face, and saw her kind caring worried expression, and once again his resolve seemed to weaken. She took a step forward and Harry involuntarily twitched his mouth as if to try and smile. And then it stopped.
"Go away 'Mione." He waved his hand and she was suddenly flung back- fast. Dumbledore grabbed her quickly, which Harry expected him to do, and when he was weak Harry struck the bonds. Dumbledore wavered and gritted his teeth, he would not let this boy go. Harry growled and was about to strike again when-
"Harry?" Once again, the third time, the third test, his name. Ron… Harry looked into the eyes of his best friend and something caved in him, he was hurting people, he was hurting his friend. He looked at Draco, and a tear fell from his eye. And his resolve hardened. He knelt and took Draco up in his arms and Dumbledore relaxed. He carried Draco over to Ron and looked into his eyes.
"Thank you Ron." And he kissed Draco on the forehead, and then Ron as well, Ron blushed on reflex and Harry just smiled.
"You're a great friend, tell 'Mione I love her." Ron shook his head what? And then Harry whirled around to face Dumbledore, and "smacked" him hard with raw magical force. Lucius turned to catch Dumbledore with a spell, but the old man's nose was broken once again and he was limp in Lucius's spell net. And Harry was gone.
"He comes." Wormtail crowed. His silver arm glittered with power and the Dementors around him rustled in silent apprehension, this was it, the test if their new lord was worthy of them or not. Suddenly Harry was there, standing amidst the Dementors, the creatures he feared most in the world.
He didn't fear them now. They actually shrunk back from him, his rage and hate and sheer depression destroyed any shred of positive emotion they could have stolen. The Dementors, for the third time in their creation, collectively felt fear. The first time, after they had been created by the nightmares of Griffyndor himself. The second time, when Lord Voldemort had contacted them and now this…
But Wormtail took no notice of any of it. For him there was only a pair of green eyes, nothing complicated, nothing poetic, they were just green, special for nothing that he could see. Except, they were Lily's… Lily… Wormtail felt pain sear his brain and then shrugged it off. He rose up in the chair, he was disgusting, his clothes were dirty smelly rags. He seemed to notice this and waved his hand. They patched themselves and cleaned, and he was dressed now in complete robes, soft clean…
"Peter." Harry said, throwing his voice out, making it fill his rib cage and the room, it rang with command. Wormtail looked at him and cocked his head. "Because of you I cannot rest, because of what have become I must live this torment constantly, so don't think this is personal, because it is simply so much more than that." Harry ended his little speech in a whisper, and then he attacked. With a spell that Wormtail never expected.
"Expecto Pantronum!" And out of the end of his wand came a great silver stag and it looked like-
"Prongs?" Wormtail asked in wonder, and the stag merely looked at him, and then-
"Goodbye Peter, Inficio Naishukettsu!" And Wormtail spasmed and screamed as he became deaf and blind. To be suddenly plunged into a world with no sound or sight was enough to make him go crazy, and to feel the pain of the curse… He collapsed and Harry was secure in the knowledge that the man would die a horrible death. He turned his back and therefore missed the worried look the stag shot him before vanishing.
Now, now he was free…
"Wake up." Ron hissed to Draco. Lucius was reviving Dumbledore cautiously. The old man lay back and Lucius whispered constant healing charms under his breath. Finally Dumbledore coughed violently and awoke.
"Damn you, wake up Ma- Draco." Ron shouted, his voice twisted with panic and rage. Draco shuddered and then opened his eyes. He started in fear and then anger.
"Where is he?" His voice quiet and full of rage. He shoved Ron back and rose up to face a wearied looking Dumbledore. "Where is he? What did he do to me?" He shouted and waves of emotion swept over them, confusion anger fear despair- love?
"We must hurry, it may already be too late." And he took out a small stone with a run carved on it. He grabbed Draco and Ron while Lucius grabbed his shoulder, and then-
"WHY CAN'T I DIE?" Harry cried out. The Dementors were in a panic, fluttering everywhere about the castle that was Azkaban. Other prisoners cowered from Harry's rage. The castle was already looking wintry and where ever Harry walked frost bit into the stone floors. He finally grabbed one withered looking prisoner and growled a question to it.
"Who are you?" The prisoner, a woman, gulped.
"I'm- Nalia Lestrange." Harry froze and then his look became positively vengeful.
"You, Voldemort mentioned you." He leaned in close to the woman. "I didn't like Voldemort very much, but maybe you can still serve him in the bowels of Hell, I couldn't tell you." And she screamed as Harry froze her spine, literally.
He stood then, and looked at himself. Somewhere deep inside of him he knew that this was wrong and yet-
No Harry, this is right, this is what you were meant for, why else would Voldemort, who feared no witch or wizard have tried to kill you, he knew of your power, knew of this strength. Harry nodded, listening to the voice, disregarding that one thing that had been an anchor for as long as he'd known of Voldemort, Dumbledore was greater than him.
Because he was greater than Dumbledore. The voice whispered and cajoled him, and he knew that the voice was right. The world was dirty, it was his job to clean it, and then he could rest, sweet dark black sleep… The prisoners and Dementors had clustered around him as he'd thought, and he smiled at all of them. No better time to start than the present.
"Finite Vita." And he laughed as all the prisoners died; it was a spell made from his will alone and the power of his wand. No other wizard could have cast it, it was the new killing curse, one that would kill all within it's reach, it was beautiful and Harry's first gift to the world. The Dementors tried to flee, but Harry was one step ahead of them.
He reached down the bond with Draco and drew out his lover's ability with emotions, to broadcast the opposite of hate and despair and all negative emotion. It was not happiness, for the only true antipathy to emotion is apathy. And that was what Harry broadcasted, and the Dementors died. And then Harry realized how close he was to death; he spent far too much energy and was drawing on his very life force. Only one thing left to do.
He slammed the bond between him and Draco shut and then concentrated masking himself from detection, before apparating to the one place that he'd lived in for most of his life, the cupboard under the stairs, and collapsed wearily onto the bed they had still left in their after all those years.
Before he fell asleep, his scar pulsed green, and there was the eerie air of great amusement, and then a chuckle, one that was hauntingly familiar…
And then sweet blissful Nirvana overcame him.
"He's gone." Was all Draco would say. The boy had screamed briefly before they had disappeared, and after arriving in Hogsmeade Dumbledore had briefly checked to make sure Draco was alright before Apparating all of them to Azkaban, just before Harry left. He walked forward to examine the dead bodies and empty robes of the Dementors. Draco had dropped to his knees in exhaustion; Harry had been drawing energy from him.
Ron caught him and gently held him while Lucius stared in awe at the death and destruction the Boy Who Lived had wrought…
"He's gone all right, I am a fool-" Dumbledore started and Lucius interrupted him.
"I think we are all fools, and yet, we are all we have. Potter will turn out worse than Voldemort if this continues, he must be stopped-" Lucius began and was in turn interrupted by Ron.
"If you hurt him I will kill you." He whispered as he held Draco in a way he'd never thought possible. He couldn't believe it, the Harry he knew would never do such things, but the evidence was before his eyes, no way to deny it.
Sometimes destiny is crueler than you can imagine. And sometimes, pain is the kiss of life.
"Don't forget Draco." The voice whispered, "Meet me where the wall are weak, and then we can find Twighlight…"
The Beginning…Shout Outs-
DragonSoul-Well that shows you that neither happens, he goes deeper and deeper into the rabbit hole is all… And I loved that scene in Magic's Price, my first ever slash book I read! But I can't stand her new Valdemar stuff… Whatever, so you love psychopathic Harry? If you need to you can always borrow him, but I'm growing pretty fond of him too.
Creamy Mimi- I've told you how much I love you right? Your review is exactly the kind I'm trying to evoke, it's nice to know that it worked!
Mizzy- RUN OUT OF FANCY WORDS!!! OH NO! Whatever will I do????? Sure you can put your fics on my archive, anything you want, and who gave you a weird review on what? I'll go check it out so I can bash them over the head with a blunt piece of wood and then do something really creative and painful involving a spork and some salt…
Jivanna- Well you never should have tried to guess what I was going to do, you can't predict crazy people! Hee hee… That includes Harry by the way. *Psycho Harry glares at author and then attempts to hex him to death* EEK!
Silver Hawk- Hmm… 10 eh? I think that I should really refrain from gloating but why would I do that of all things? ^_^; You can write serious stuff I bet, just pretend your cat died and listen to naughty rock music. That's what I do, except the dead cat part. I write depressing stuff to Korn, Adema and that one Hoobastank song.
SophieB- You don't know that half of how vampirish Narcissa is, I tried to be subtle but maybe I was too subtle, did you catch the red liquid in the bottles? I'm glad to know that you like the descriptions, I'm trying for description, if you have any critiques or advice those go over really well…
Katxue- I didn't think it was that explicit, but should I up this to NC-17? It's up to you guys, I don't intend on doing the sort of incredible detail that comes with describing certain parts of the human anatomy, the "nether regions" if you will. Psycho Harry doesn't dig that. (Oh, I think I've found a muse at last!) Psycho Harry, witty Hermione and Sarcastic Draco, that'll be them!
Sarcastic Draco- "Ah great we're fucked."
Psycho Harry glares around before getting an odd glint in his eyes.
Witty Hermione turns another page in The Witches Guide to Curing Insanity.
LOVE TO ALL, AND A GREAT "BIG HAPPY HOLIDAYS" (CHANUKAH IS OVER AND I GOT THE MOTHERLOAD!)
END OF PART OF 1 OF "SHADOWS AND ICE"
