Disclaimer: Yeah. With the not owning. And the not suing. And the not flaming. Here's more of the saga of craziness. Hope you all enjoy it.

Gradually, things were able to fall into a nice pattern. Her job was a minor part of it and it had become easier to push it to the back of her mind when it was over. She still wasn't any closer to learning anything about her mysterious house-mate... crypt-mate, whatever... but her mere presence seemed to do something to alleviate the gloom that hung around the place.

She was thankful for that as he needed someone or something that could do that. He certainly got no companionship from the demon.... He continued hunting of course. She couldn't really say anything about that. It wasn't her place... And besides, it was kind of like living with Buffy again... she started giggling as she pictured Holtz and Buffy. They might have shared the same vampire-hunting thing, but that was definitely the only similarity there. But tonight, he had been gone for a really long time. Much longer than she could recall him being absent. She found herself getting mildly worried as minutes became hours. It was entirely possible that he'd just run into a tougher cadre of vampires than usual. Or maybe he'd actually stopped to take in some modern culture. Or maybe he really was lying in a ditch somewhere. In the back of her mind she could hear Dawn saying, "Ditches are bad. My mom always used to talk about the ditches."

He better not be in ditch, she thought, frowning. She hoped he came back okay. If he was hurt, she could help him she supposed but if he was... Thinking about it was not going to help at all, she decided and looked around for a book to read to take her mind off of his absence. Hours stretched into more hours. Even she couldn't stay up waiting for him this late. The words on the page started to blur as her eyes started to drift closed. She yawned sleepily, her hand drooping causing the book to fall to the floor. She curled up on the bed hoping he came home soon. Her dreams weren't pleasent ones. Faces from her past mixed with faces from her future, all in varying stages of pain or anguish or arrogant stupidity. Tara whimpered before waking up. She staggered off to the refrigerator and began warming up some milk. Maybe that would help her get some sleep. She yawned. She hoped Holtz had some excuse for being gone this long and making her worry.

As though her thoughts had conjured him from the aether, Holtz came stomping in, much less quietly than usual. Something must have gone really horribly wrong tonight... he was arguing with the demon, loudly and angrily. She peeked out from the refrigerator wondering what exactly had happened silently cursing the demon as she did so. Whatever they were arguing about, it had to do with some vampire named Angelus. The name was familiar, she knew she'd heard it before... but she couldn't think of where. Maybe someone Buffy had fought; they hadn't talked too much about previous battles, even the ones she'd been around for. It was as though once a fight was past and an enemy vanquished, it never existed. She decided not to warm up the milk after all and rubbed her eyes wearily.

Finally the demon left. Holtz was livid; whatever happened it must have been bad. She remained where she was, closing the refrigerator door quietly. Unfortunately, she hadn't closed it quietly enough. Or maybe she'd closed it too quietly. Whatever she'd done, he must have thought she was a vampire, because he whipped his crossbow out and shot a stake at her without a second thought. She yelped as it grazed her cheek and embedded itself into the refrigerator door behind her. Her eyes went wide and she sank to the floor shocked speechless and senseless by the bolt being fired at her.

He remained where he was for a second, and then he seemed to realize what had happened. The crossbow came down, and he went hesitantly over to her kneeling down beside her with a look of horror and regret on his face.

Tara managed to calm down slightly when he put the crossbow aside. Her heart was still racing but she concentrated on the fact that he was worried and obviously hadn't intended to hurt her......not on purpose anyway. He examined the cut on her cheek, probing at it carefully. At least he wasn't in a ditch, she reasoned, wincing slightly as he touched the cut. He winced in sympathy as she flinched from his hands, being as gentle as he could.

"B-bad night," she managed shakily attempting to make light of what had happened and failing..... He nodded once, shortly, pulling the last few splinters out of the cut on her cheek. She bit her lip to keep from whimpering as he did so. Finally all the splinters were out, and he looked at it for a long moment before kissing her gently on the forehead and standing, moving off to get the huge box of medical supplies again. Tara looked after him a bit concerned and a bit confused. She hadn't been expecting that...but....she didn't think she minded the small chaste kiss. She wondered if she should ask him about it, or treat it as a normal part of their definitely abnormal relationship. It was better than being staked if nothing else. She touched her cheek and waited for him to come back.

After a short time he did. She noticed the little things about his behavior this time that she hadnt' noticed the last time he'd patched her up. How he'd stare at the tubes of antiseptic before using them like he didn't know what they were. "Thank you," she said softly. Sure he had aimed and fired a stake at her...but.....well...he honestly hadn't meant to...and....he had been hurt enough without her making a big deal out of what had happened. Thanks or not, he still winced at what he'd done. She sighed softly unsure what to do now....

He rummaged through the boxes of bandages, not entirely sure what to do with bandaids, although he did recognize the iodine. She wished he hadn't, it stung when he poured a little onto some cotton and brushed it along her cheek. She gasped softly. Ouch. She needed to really stop getting hurt if only to avoid the medicines in that box. He winced again, murmuring an apology. "It needs to be cleaned," he said though, reasonably.

Tara nodded. "It's okay..."

He sighed tiredly, and looked at the bandages, finally giving up on finding anything in there or figuring out what should be used to bandage the smaller cuts. "It shouldn't need stitching..."

"Okay...." She tried to come up with something else to talk about..but wasn't sure what to bring up. She touched her cheek pondering what they ought to do now..... He watched her for a second and then looked away, almost as though ashamed. With his usual taciturn withdrawing, he went to put away the medicine kit.

She sighed and stood up debating....Maybe a change of pace would be good for a bit. She didn't think she was going to be sleeping any time soon after that. She wouldn't mind going for a walk....although....the whole vampire thing probably would put a damper on that. When he came back he was heading almost directly for his bed. She didn't think he was tired, not after that display of temper and then hair-triggered adrenaline, but he probably didn't want to be sociable anymore.

She frowned slightly heading back to her bed and sat on it pulling her knees to her chest. He lay down on his own bed, legs crossed at the ankles, staring straight at the ceiling. He looked vaguely like a corpse. She hummed softly to herself staring at the floor with a lack of anything to do. So, neither one of them were going to sleep. Well, they might as well talk if that was the case. Didn't he ever get bored? Evidently not. He was still staring at the ceiling, nothing showing of what he was thinking or if he was even awake. How did he live like this? she wondered again. Well, she didn't think she was going to be able to sit like this all night. She didn't want him to get mad at her.....considering the whole crossbow thing...but... "Ummm...so..." He didn't look at her, didn't move. He was probably still awake though. "Since we're both...still up....we could talk...if you want to that is," she added hesitantly.

He sat up and gave her a very odd look. "You are.. strange."

"Strange?" She looked confused.

"Well, most young women I know.... knew... " his face clouded over briefly, then he shook his head. "Would not exactly accept being shot at... with such equanimity."

"Well, you...didn't really mean to.....and you...well, basically apologized afterwards," Tara said sheepishly.

"Does this happen to you often?" he asked dryly.

"Well, no," Tara said flushing.

"But you accept it as... normal."

"Odder things have happened to me," Tara said shrugging. He stared at her, perplexed. "One of my friends..is...a vampire slayer..." Tara said. Probably should have told him that sooner.

He stared at her, eyes widening slightly. "I...see. That .. yes. That explains it."

"Well, I mean I'm used to her staking..err..vampires....which isn't to say she...err...has tried to stake me....but...I mean, I've put up with worse. Spike for example...though he's not too bad." Boy, she was babbling to make up for him not talking. She chuckled softly.

"Spike....." he blinked. "A ... musician?"

Tara chuckled. "No...umm..he's a vampire actually."

He gave her a look of incredulity and disgust. "You make friends with the vampires?"

"No, just Spike. He...It's conplecated but he can't hurt anyone anymore. It's kind of funny. He's okay." Better than the guys she waited on at the restaurant.

He kept staring at her as though she'd done something... dirty, maybe. As though she'd been corrupted. "Vampires are evil, soulless beings. They do not make friends. With anyone."

"For the most part. Don't get me wrong. He's a soulless bastard, but he's also kinda sweet and harmless." Tara said.

"...." He did not understand this concept at all. "If he is a vampire, then he is far from sweet and harmless. If he hasn't killed you yet it is because he has something else in store. Vampires only keep you alive to suffer..." Bitterness echoed wildly through his words.

"Well....maybe...but Spike?" She chuckled. "Not hardly."

He shook his head slowly, not believing or not wanting to believe.

"It doesn't matter though. But with all the dumb stuff my friends have done lately, I can deal with a misunderstanding." Tara added. She guessed they were still technically her friends...she hoped so anyway.

He just sat there and watched her, conflicting emotions playing across his face. She saw confusion, disgust, concern, fear, and self-recrimination before she lost count. Finally he looked away and just lay back down.

"Wow. Maybe I should just shut up for good," Tara said shaking her head.

He glanced over at her from his supine position on the bed. "I.................................. .."

She shrugged. "Don't worry about it."

He glanced at her again, confused and suddenly looking very vulnerable despite everything.

"It's just....I mean, don't you get lonely?" She said softly.

He turned back to stare at the ceiling, and said it so softly she wasn't sure she heard it. "Sometimes."

"You shouldn't have to be," Tara said sadly...even if she hadn't heard him say it, she thought he ought to know that.

He laughed bitterly. "In my particular profession, anyone close is food for the vampires. I learned that lesson a long time ago."

Tara winced. "I.....I'm sorry..."

He shrugged slightly. "It's not your fault."

"Yes but....I'm sorry because it happened to you," Tara said softly.

That did make him sit up and stare oddly to her. Perhaps it had been the way it was phrased.. or maybe he was reading more into it than she'd meant. "Why?" he asked slowly.

"Well...because....you're such a nice person I guess...because you didn't deserve that...Not that anyone deserves that but..." Tara said in an even softer voice.

"No..." he said softly. "No one deserves that."

She nodded. "How do you....how are you able to...handle it?" She asked though she regretted asking it as soon as she finished saying it...

Apparently deciding that staying in bed was fairly useless he stood, began to slowly pace the length of the room. He was silent for a long time before he finally answered her. "I don't know."

"I wish I could be more of a help to you," Tara said, more to herself than to him.

He stopped pacing, thinking about what she was saying. "Why?"

"Because you're alone," was all she could think of to say.

"Oh."

"You helped me alot....I mean, I haven't been any help to anyone in a while....It would be nice to be....helpful," she added.

He looked at her "Why do you feel you have to be helpful to everyone... to... mother everyone?"

"Not everyone," She said in protest. "And I don't want to mother you.....You may be brave, but even you need someone."

He shook his head stubbornly at that, "No. I don't."

She nodded firmly. "Yes you do."

He gave her an 'oh-really' look. "What do you know of what I need?"

"Everybody needs somebody," Tara replied.

"I don't."

"Suit yourself. I'm still going to try to help you," She retorted.

He stared at her incredulously. "Whether I want your help or not?"

"Yes," she said looking right back at him. "Because I need someone too."

He actually looked scandalized at that.

"Oh not that way, you dummy," Tara said chuckling. She felt like she ought to tell him she was a lesbian, but...she didn't think that would help.

Now he just looked confused. "Then.... Oh."

Tara chuckled some more.

He flushed slightly. "This... the way ... " he made a gesture over at the wall of now-blank television screens. "I suppose I shouldn't take everything for granted from... those boxes, but..."

"You're better off ignoring them," Tara said. "Especially the programs you've been watching..."

He frowned slightly. "What sorts should ..." he stopped. "Explain it to me," he said after a bit, half-request, half-demand.

"The way the programs work?" Tara asked, not sure exactly what he wanted to know.

He nodded slowly. "I... think so. It's hard. I don't know the right questions to ask."

"Ummm...well, they're kind of like plays. They're sort of true to life but they tend to have angles. Like urm....the writer wants the audience to be persuaded by what they see....," Tara said, trying to explain TV in general.

He nodded slowly, understanding at least the concept if not the medium.

"It's hard to explain what television is besides that....Ummm...you've seen photographs right?" She asked trying to decide how to explain how TV worked.... He nodded slowly again. "Well, with the boxes, it's like pictures...but they're able to move...like..people do in real life..." Tara said, pretty sure that made no sense...He was probably better off without television anyway. From his expression, anyway, it didn't look like it made sense to him.

"I... saw. The programs that Sahjhan gave me, to learn the history I had missed."

"Well, we use things that are sort of like cameras....and they record what happens in front of them. For example, ummm..if someone had one, they could record us talking with it," Tara said. This wasn't working. Maybe she'd have to buy him a video camera or something....The demon was a lousy guide to the mordern world, but she didn't think she was much better.

"I... see." He clearly didn't, really.

"I'm sorry..it...it's hard to explain. I don't watch much of it...but...ummm," Tara flushed feeling rather embarassed that she couldn't explain television. "There's some good stuff. Like Shakepearean plays."

He looked a bit startled, but pleasently so. "They still teach Shakespeare?"

"Yes," she said smiling. "And Marlowe...among others....ummm....There's all types of shows. Not just the ones you've seen."

"Ah..." he said slowly. "I was ... Sahjhan implied I could learn how the world was today from... those."

Tara frowned furiously. "Well, he's an idiot."

He arched eyebrows at her intensity of emotion. "Evidently." He sounded like he was trying not to smile.

She shook her head clearly frustrated. "What a....Wow. I really don't like him now."

He smothered back a chuckle.

"What?" Tara said confused.

"Your.. innocent indignance..." he looked slightly embarrassed to be that patronizing. Only slightly, though. "It's charming."

Tara flushed. "Oh."

He shrugged slightly, almost apologetic. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to be patronizing."

She chuckled. "No..it's just sweet...." She colored a bit more. "Umm...."

He smiled slightly.

"See? Isn't talking nice?" She said, beaming, trying to cover up her embarassment.

He started to chuckle, and then he actually thought about it. Realized how long it had been since he'd had anything like a normal conversation. Realized how long it had been since he'd allowed himself to have anything like a normal life. "Ye-es..." he said slowly, unsure. "Yes."

"Well, we'll just have to talk more so you can be more sure about it," she said smirking.

He looked vaguely startled at her determination to keep him talking. "Uh........."

Tara chuckled attempting to sound devious just to bother him. It didn't exactly fool him, but he was vaguely bothered by her intentions anyway. "Unless you don't want to ever talk again...that will be depressing," Tara said shrugging.

He folded his arms across his chest and stared at her. "You are an... interesting young woman."

"You...are...an interesting man who is a bit grumpy sometimes but usually very nice," Tara said, smiling.

Holtz actually looked vaguely indignant. "Grumpy?"

"It's endearing," Tara protested.

He laughed. It was a rusty, unpracticed laugh from a mouth unused to laughing anymore, but it was a laugh. "You are strange, Tara." It was, perhaps, the first time she'd ever heard him use her name.

"I'll take it as a compliment and thank you," Tara said chuckling slightly. Hrm...she wondered what his first name was.... He chuckled, shaking his head wryly. "I've been called much worse," Tara said shrugging and smiling. "At work even."

Holtz arched eyebrows at her. "Oh really?" he asked, sounding... indignant on her behalf, actually, more than anything.

"Yeah," she shrugged.

"Such as....?" he prompted when she didn't continue. "I am assuming, since I hear... well. On those programs that some of these names are repeatable in present company."

"Hmmmm.....I've been called just about everything," Tara said wrinkling her nose in disgust. Holtz scowled. "It's not that bad," Tara said noticing him scowling.

"And the others where you work allow this?"

"My boss does most of it," Tara said shrugging feigning indifference.

Holtz's eyebrows shot up into his vaguely-receeding hairline. "Oh?"

"He's a sleeze, but a job's a job."

He shook his head slowly. "You should not have to put up with that sort of lechery for any money."

"Probably not, but I do need a job. I'll get a better one soon," Tara said optimistically.

He sighed. "Are you entirely sure those... programs," he gestured at the wall of televisions, "Are not more of a reflection of life than you would like to think?"

"They are and they aren't. Some days they're more true than others," Tara said softly. "They're a way of dealing with life, I guess."

"Ah......" He left it at that.

"Life isn't as simple as TV shows," Tara said sighing.

He echoed her sigh. "Very little is as simple as it appears..."

Tara nodded. He lapsed into his customary silence again... "We should rent movies sometime," Tara said after awhile.

He gave her a quizzical look.

"They're like TV programs only much better," she said in order to provide some clarification.

"Ah........" He nodded, at least willing to accept the concept if not quite understanding.

"There's some really good adaptations of Shakespeare." She wondered what he'd think of cartoons and chuckled.

He actually looked intrigued at this. "Ah... hmm."

"You'd like them," Tara assured him.

He chuckled at that. "All right."

Tara smiled and yawned. "You should go to sleep," he said immediately.

Tara chuckled. He smiled. "No sleepy," she said yawning again. "You should go sleep."

He chuckled. "Of course you're not," he said, pointedly inserting a yawn between his words.

"See, look. You're tired," she said smiling.

"As are you," he returned, smiling back.

She shrugged. "Fine..fine...I'll go sleep." She didn't move though.

He chuckled. "The bed is that way, as I recall," he said, pointing at her bed right next to her.

"So it is," she said covering her mouth with her hand as she yawned and began moving over to her bed. He chuckled again and watched her, not moving.

She stopped suddenly. "Oh..good night then," she said turning around. She impulsively gave him a hug before going over to her bed. He blinked, and barely recovered himself in time to hug her back before she went over to her own bed.

Tara smiled sleepily as she crawled into bed. Holtz watched her bemusedly for a second before taking to his own bed. Tara dozed off rather quickly not anxious for the work the next day but rather happy at the progress they were making.

It took Holtz considerably longer to fall asleep... though when he did, his dreams were at least peaceful, if not actually pleasent.