All characters in this play are purely fictional. They are not based on any neopets or people living or deceased (and that is certainly for the best).
On with the show!!
Fruit of the World
Cast of characters:
Minsterel: Your average, everyday Neopian (??!!!). Or not. He has an insatiable craving for cantaloupe.
Walaki: Minsterel's blue wocky.
Madrigal: He claims to be a top tv anchorperson, but I've never heard of him. Have you?
Malarki: Madrigal's red aisha.
Setting: Minsterel is standing next to a cart filled with cantaloupe that has been abandoned by its vendor. He is in the marketplace in Neopia Central with Walaki. They are both chowing down, quite noisily, on said cantaloupe. As he finishes off a slice, throwing the rind to Walaki who devours it with the seeming hunger of one who hasn't eaten for weeks, Madrigal passes by, trailed by Malarki. Minsterel grabs the startled Madrigal by the arm. Malarki gives Walaki a haughty stare and turns her head.
Minsterel: You must savor the scent of cataloupe!
Madrigal: What are you talking about? You're insane!
Minsterel: Crazy? No! The key word here is: human!
Madrigal: I don't have time for your piggish ways, man!
Minsterel: What? Oh. (Minsterel proceeds to clean up the cantaloupe juice that's dripping down his chin, wiping it with his sleeve. Walaki continues devouring cantaloupe rinds as Malarki watches, rapt, in feign disgust.) Please excuse my discomposure!
Madrigal: Unmannerly fool! (he shouts this as Minsterel grabs another slice of cantaloupe from the abandoned cart). You daft pilferer!
Minsterel: The vendor has gone! What else shall I do? (he says this while eating quite messily)
Madrigal: Forbearance, forbearance! 'Tis a virtue! (Malarki nods vigorously, licking a bit of cantaloupe juice that has fallen onto her paw, still entranced at Walaki's eating habits)
Minsterel: Well, we don't all suffer from good breeding?
Madrigal: I am a top tv anchorperson! (Malarki purrs and tilts her neck so Walaki can get a better view of the heart-shaped diamond pendant around her neck. Walaki follows suit, showing off his new, yet messy, red bandana)
Minsterel: Well, we can't all be quite so charming! (He returns to chomping the cantaloupe, throwing another one to his faithful neopet, who chomps just as noisily, if not more.)
Madrigal: I belong in the limelight! Gone with thee! (He motions for Minsterel to leave; he simply takes another loud bite of cantaloupe.)
Minsterel: More cantaloupe? Capital idea! (He throws more down to Walaki, who offers a bit to Malarki. She sniffs at it tentatively but does not taste of this forbidden fruit.)
Madrigal: You think you're some hotshot? You're mistaken!
Minsterel: You think you're some hotshot? You're mistaken!
Madrigal (he pulls something out of his pocket): I have mace! I'll blind you, insolent fool!
Minsterel: Would you truly go to such a measure?
Madrigal: What's gotten into me? I-I'm sorry!
Minsterel: I blame our paternal society!
Madrigal: Do you mean to be symbolic here, man?
Minsterel: I just want a decasyllabic play!
Madrigal: Do you concentrate on each word you say?
Minsterel: Indeed. Solid interpretation there!
Madrigal: I'll say it again. You're insane! Good day! (Madrigal walks away in disgust, and Minsterel begins to laugh hysterically. Malarki, lingering behind, meows and takes a dainty bite of Walaki's cantaloupe, then the bite turns into a crazed frenzy of cantaloupe-eating mania. A match made in heaven!)
Minsterel: Ahh, like clockwork! More cantaloupe? Why not!
Fin.
Author's note/warning: This is a bit (okay, maybe a bit more than a bit) strange. Why? Put aside your assumptions about the author and let me explain! I was bored. I had a dictionary and paper next to me. My plan of action? Pick a bunch of words randomly out of the dictionary and then incorporate them into a play. This was written in a very short amount of time, with some rather odd words that I had to throw in, thus resulting in a rather odd bit of drama. (see also An Instrument of War, although this one I think is the stranger of the two!)
