Yippy skippy, Part 4. Some definition of couplings. I'm not entirely sure what else, but I know that much. Have fun reading!
Disclaimer: I own a spiral notebook full of drawings, a few fanfics, and a bunch of crummy disclaimers. What do you want?!
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Part 4
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Akane returned to her room to complete her assignments, but something was distracting her. She chuckled to herself. Whatever could it be? Maybe her new fiancé/pig, the directionless aquatranssexual boy who had recently taken refuge in her home, or the freaking AMAZON who had just burst through the WALL and claimed both boys? Noooo, her life was perfectly NORMAL. Why why why why WHY did her father have to be so STUPID? She sighed.
Of course, there was the matter of Ryoga. Why he was so nice and protective of her, she had yet to figure out. They had just met, but she felt… something. It was just nice being around him - or her, as the case may be. She hoped she didn't *like* him, as the girls in her class would have termed it. Heh, tomorrow was going to be fun. There was little doubt that SOMEHOW they would figure out that they were all living together. All her friends would think she was involved with two guys, and her reputation for "Tough-as-nails, I-don't-NEED-a-guy-to-prove-my-worth, Get-near-me-and-die Tomboy" would be gone forever. She wasn't sure if she liked this or not, but she thought it was better than being termed "easy." Then, there would be the boys. Most of them would just give up after seeing how strong Ryoga and Ranma were. Kuno, of course, would harass them and challenge them to no end, but he was an idiot and not much of a problem.
Akane glanced down at her blank paper. What was the assignment again, anyway? She sighed. Maybe she could concentrate later. She wondered if Kasumi needed any help in the kitchen, but (mercifully) she decided against it.
***
Meanwhile, Ryoga attempted to do the same assignment, with about as much success as Akane had. She glanced to the other side of the room, where Ranma was snoring peacefully. 'What an idiot,' Ryoga thought to herself. 'Why is Akane stuck with him?' Ryoga wondered momentarily why she cared so much about who Akane was engaged to, but immediately stopped. Nobody deserved that jerk as a fiancé. Least of all kind-hearted, beautiful Akane.
Ryoga wondered sometimes if Jusenkyo had a sense of humor. Of COURSE she would be cursed right before visiting the Amazon village. Of COURSE she had to trip and fall into that puddle right before entering and requesting directions. Maybe, just maybe there was someone who controlled this type of thing, who had a cruel sense of humor, who laughed heartily at the misfortunes of the Jusenkyo-cursed. Of course, sometimes it was good. Ryoga snickered to himself. Of course Ranma would be a pig. It brought out his inner spirit. She amused herself by imagining Ranma the Pig in the uniform for middle school, trying to snag the airborne bread but getting trampled by the crowd. It suddenly occurred to Ryoga what this would say about his curse, but decided not to pursue it. Jusenkyo works in mysterious ways, and not the same for everyone, after all.
Ryoga's thoughts returned to Akane. How could she be so graceful and kind, while hidden beneath her lovely exterior was pure fury and strength? She still said Ranma didn't deserve Akane, no matter what. If she had to protect Akane from that jerk, that was what she'd do. After finishing the stupid homework assignment, though. Ryoga doubted it very much that she would be able to find it again if she left it.
***
Now, we turn to Shampoo…
Shampoo smiled widely as she walked down the street. "Shampoo glad Great Grandmother say Shampoo may follow Ryoga and Ranma! Was hard to find loophole in ancient Amazon law, but it worth it!" Shampoo chirped cheerily to herself. One might wonder why she would be speaking out loud and in Japanese, considering the fact that she could hardly speak the language. Shampoo herself wondered this, but disregarded the thought. She had better things to think about.
"Shampoo, my love!" cried a long-haired man in white robes to a telephone pole.
"What is it, stupid Mousse?"
Said blind Amazon flipped his glasses down over his eyes. "Shampoo! Why do you run away whenever I manage to find you? Why did you come here, anyway?"
Shampoo rolled her eyes. "How many times Shampoo have to tell stupid Mousse, Shampoo here to see Ryoga and Ranma."
"But Shampoo-"
"Mousse go AWAY!" Shampoo shouted, followed by a rather rude Chinese word, as she kicked Mousse into the horizon. "Now that done with, Shampoo find airens.
***
Akane finally finished the assignment and headed out for the dojo. With any luck, she could get some training done before dinner.
"Hey, Ranma! Will you spar with me?" she called into the guest room.
"Yeah, right. You might get hurt," Ranma responded, not looking up from his textbook, which looked suspiciously like it had a manga hidden inside.
"Wha?" 'Does he really care if I get hurt?'
"A clumsy macho chick like you would probably trip and get a concussion," finished Ranma.
"Why you…"
Insert here any of your favorite sound effects associated with a severe malleting, such as WHAM, POW, SPLAT, SMASH, BONK, WHAP, etc.
"I'll help, Akane," Ryoga volunteered.
"Sure, like you can even FIND the dojo," a heavily bandaged Ranma commented.
"Who asked you, anyway?" retorted Ryoga as he tossed a large textbook at Ranma without turning his head, nailing Ranma in the nose.
"Thanks, Ryoga. You're a real friend, unlike SOME people," Akane said, sticking her tongue out at poor injured Ranma. She then took Ryoga by the hand and led her out the door.
'Heh, who needs a tomboy like her, anyway?' Ranma thought to himself before he resumed "studying."
***
"Are you sure you don't want to change back before we train?" asked Akane.
"Nah, I should train this body too so I'm used to it."
"Oh."
The two assumed their stances. For a moment, no one moved. Then, as if on a command, both opponents attacked.
'Wow, she's so graceful,' Ryoga marveled as she dodged a punch.
'She's actually taking me seriously,' Akane thought, ducking a kick.
"Akane! Ranma! Ryoga! Mr. Saotome! Dinner is ready!" Kasumi called from the kitchen.
"I guess we can finish this after dinner," said Akane, panting slightly.
"Okay. I'm gonna go change back first, though."
"Sure. Do you want me to lead you there?"
"Umm, please. Don't want to end up in Sydney again…" Ryoga giggled nervously.
***
"So, how was school?" conversed a cheery Kasumi.
"Fine, except for when I had to catch that idiot Ryoga when he was trying to go to the gym and almost got hit by a truck!"
"Oh, so you actually stayed awake long enough to have an opinion, Ranma?" questioned Akane.
"I think it was okay… Except for that guy that kept calling me his goddess when I was in my girl form. It gets old after a while…"
"Great, Kuno-baby's got another target?" Nabiki commented.
"Be quiet Nabiki. Ryoga, don't worry. Just try and stay in your boy form when you're in school and he won't give you a second glance," Akane assured him.
Shampoo chose this moment to burst through the wall.
"And we just h-had that f-fixed," sobbed Soun.
"What do you want?" asked Akane angrily.
"Shampoo come for husbands!"
"Oh no…" said Ranma and Ryoga in unison.
Shampoo chose Ranma to glomp. Of course, she'd make up for it later by glomping Ryoga. Why on earth did her airen look so scared all of a sudden? She then realized that, in her haste, she had accidentally knocked over a glass of water. Stupid curse! That still didn't explain why Ranma looked so afraid. Unless, of course, he didn't like cats. No matter. They could easily find their way around this small misfortune and be happily marri-
"YAAAAAAAAAAHHH! GET IT OFF GET IT OFF GETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFF-"
"SHUT UP!" shouted Ryoga, punching Ranma in the head and knocking him unconscious.
One kettle of hot water, some clothes, and several bandaids later…
"What's with Ranma?" Akane asked, concerned.
"Well…" said a somewhat sheepish Genma. "It's like this…"
Once again, we go to a flashback sequence.
"Hey Pop, whatcha got there?" asked little bitty ten year old Ranma.
"Son, you are going to learn a powerful new technique. Come here." Genma reached into the box and produced a long string of fish sausages. "Hold still." He tied them around the curious child, then picked him up.
"Pop? What're ya doin'?"
"Today, Ranma, you learn the Cat Fist. It may be difficult, but I have faith in you, boy." With that, he tossed Ranma into a large pit in the ground. He then proceeded to drag a large wooden board over the opening.
Ranma glanced around nervously, trying to stand up. He watched as the light shrunk, until it was reduced to a tiny sliver. Suddenly, a dark shape darted over the patch of light. Ranma felt something sharp dig into his arm, so he shook it vigorously until the creature finally let go. He adopted a defensive stance, scanning the pit to see what had attacked him. He failed, however, as the light completely disappeared.
As his eyes adjusted to the dark, he saw a pair of hungry eyes. Then another. Five more. Ranma gasped in fear. What kind of monster was this?
"Meeeowww," said the monster.
Ranma sighed in relief. It was only a cat. Okay, a bunch of cats. But they wouldn't hurt him. After all, they were sweet little house pets, right?
"Owww!" cried Ranma as another set of teeth dug into his leg, then a set of claws scrape his back.
"Pop? POP! HELP!" Ranma cried desperately, but there was no answer. The cats continued their relentless attack, scratching and biting ravenously.
"No! Pop! HEEEEEEELLLLLLP!"
Then, everything went black.
***
Everyone looked at Genma, shocked. Excluding Ranma, of course, who was still in shock.
"What kind of father would do that to his son?" Akane demanded.
"Not even Ranma deserves THAT!" Ryoga put in.
"Ranma hate Shampoo because Shampoo cat?" asked Shampoo, tears welling up in her eyes.
"Since when have you been a cat, anyway?" asked Ryoga.
And now, another flashback!
"Shampoo almost to Amazon village! Hope Great Grandmother can find loophole in Amazon law so Shampoo marry Ranma and Ryoga!" She glanced around. "Where stupid Mousse go, anyway? He not bother Shampoo for while…"
As if on cue, Mousse jumped out from behind a bush.
"Shampoo!" he cried, missing her entirely, falling into a spring, and promptly becoming a duck.
"Hahahahaha! So this legendary Cursed Training Grounds of Jusenkyo! As duck, Mousse no bother Shampoo! Shampoo free! Hahahaha!" In her laughing, Shampoo tripped and fell backwards into another spring and turned into a cat.
"Meow? Grrr… RAAAAOOOOOOOOW!"
Off in his office, the Jusenkyo guide happened to glance up from the book he was reading to see a duck wearing glasses fly into the sky without moving its wings. It appeared that a small pink cat had launched him there.
"Must be more guests. Why they never read warning signs? Should probably get fence. So sad. Did not get chance to tell honored visitors about springs and tragic tale of them. Oh, well." He went back to reading his book.
***
"Who is this Mousse, anyway?"
"Is guy from Amazon village. Wants to marry Shampoo. Shampoo think he too stupid. Is blind, too. Is his fault I have curse!"
Ryoga felt strongly that he had heard something like this before, but he wasn't sure where. He dismissed the thought quickly, turning his mind to the current issue.
"But he seems nice enough. Why don't you try going out with him?" asked Akane.
"Shampoo told you, he almost blind. He propose to anything he think is Shampoo, even telephone pole. Is too stupid."
"He didn't follow you here, did he?" asked Ryoga, trying to block out the impending sense of doom.
As if to answer his question, a duck flew through the hole in the wall that Shampoo had made earlier.
"Mousse?" asked Shampoo.
"Quack!"
"Stupid Mousse go away! Why you follow Shampoo?"
"QUACK!"
Shampoo sighed. "Shampoo see husbands later. Must get rid of Mousse. Should tell Great Grandmother about Cat Fist, too. Bye!" Shampoo hit Mousse over the head, rendering him unconscious. She tossed him out the hole in the wall through which she entered, then followed.
"Ryoga, you got any other friends you want to tell us about?" asked Ranma sarcastically.
"Shut up!"
"Hey, Ryoga, want to finish sparring?"
"Sure," answered Ryoga, grateful for the interruption.
"Tomboy…" Ranma muttered as the two exited the room.
***
Well! It's finally finished! If you haven't noticed yet, I'm a big fan of the Akane/Ryoga pairing. Just wait until you see who I pair Mousse with. Watch for Part 5, in which I have absolutely no idea what is going to happen!
