Title: Jedi Story
Author: Arion
Summary: A parody of Toy Story although it does not stay strictly with the script. Think of it as Star Wars characters in a Toy Story plot.
Rating: PG--it was G but there's a sexually frustrated Obi-Wan and I'm planning on going somwhere with that.
Genre: Humor--it's just for laughs people...just for laughs.
Warning: None...unless you have a problem with walking, talking toys.
Disclaimer: Star Wars and Toy Story characters, ideas, etc. belong to their respective people. I make no money off this...it was just to make people laugh. You've heard of a laugh, right?
Charlene is in her bedroom. Sitting on the floor playing with her various Star Wars action figures and all their cool little toys. Obi-Wan Kenobi is currently in the role of the bad guy and Qui-Gon Jinn is, of course, the hero. Surrounding Charlene and the toys are cardboard boxes. Substitutes for bars, ships, and other various buildings. There is a humongous box that stands for the Naboo Palace, which Obi-Wan is positioned in front of.
Charlene talks for the meager toys.
Obi-Wan is waving a blaster around in the air. "All right everyone! This is a stickup! Don't anybody move! Now empty that safe! Credits, credits, credits!"
Queen Amidala stands defiantly in front of the Palace, dressed in one of her many odd outfits. "We will not cooperate."
"Quiet, Amidala, or your handmaidens get run over." Obi-Wan points to the captured handmaidens with the blaster.
Handmaidens: "Help us! Help us!"
The Queen's handmaidens are tied together and a podracer, piloted by Anakin Skywalker is ready to run them down at the drop of a lightsaber.
Amidala is fearful for her loyal bodyguards "Oh, no, not my handmaidens! Somebody, do something!"
Suddenly, Qui-Gon comes leaping out of nowhere, landing a few feet from Obi- Wan. He crosses his arms and stoically looks at Obi-Wan.
Qui-Gon: "I sense a fair amount of stupidity in you."
Obi-Wan: "On, no! Qui-Gon Jinn!"
Qui-Gon: "I'm here to stop you, Obi the Kid."
Obi-Wan: "How'd you know it was me?"
Qui-Gon: "Are you gonna come quietly, Braidboy?"
Obi-Wan: "You can't touch me, Qui-Gon."
Qui-Gon: "Wanna bet."
Qui-Gon Force shoves Obi-Wan over Yoda, who, for some, perhaps stupid, reason, was standing behind him. Obi-Wan trips over him and falls head over heels into a pile of blocks and is soon buried beneath them.
(Star Wars theme is heard faintly)
Charlene scoops up Qui-Gon in one hand and joyfully exclaims, "You've saved the day again, Qui-Gon!"
She pulls the round little ring attached by a cord on Qui-Gon's back and he proudly says, "You're my favorite Padawan."
Charlene, in a fit of joy, then runs out the door and downstairs, where she's greeted by her sister, Lana. Lana is busy redecorating the dining room for a birthday party. Streamers hang from the ceiling and balloons float up from the floor amid the banners and signs that say, "Happy Birthday, Charlene!!!"
"Oh, wow, this looks great! It's really is so nice of you and Mom and Dad to throw the party for me before we move. Considering my birthday isn't for another week."
Lana smiles at the extremely excited Charlene. "It'll be a good note to move on. Everybody's going to be here in a few minutes. Run upstairs and change will you."
Lana points to the choice of clothing Charlene has on: a cloak with the hood pulled up over her head. Charlene turns and races back up the stairs.
After changing into more suitable party clothes, Charlene is soon heading back downstairs again to await all the presents and party goers. Qui-Gon is left on top of her bed, slumped over. The door clicks shut.
After a few seconds, Qui-Gon's eyes blink and he sits up. "Pull my string and call me Jabba. The birthday party got moved to today." He looks out over the bedroom floor. "Okay, everybody, coast is clear!"
Obi-Wan digs himself out of the pile of blocks as toys come out from all over the place.
Obi-Wan brushes himself off. "I'm not supposed to be a robber. Does she see this braid?" Obi-Wan pulls on the braid hanging off the side of his head. "I'm a Jedi, not a Hutt," he complains to everybody nearby.
Qui-Gon starts looking around, as if for something in particular. He spots Captain Panaka nearby. "Have you seen Yoda?"
"No, master Jedi."
Qui-Gon nods at him. "Very well, Captain, thank you."
Qui-Gon slides down the bedspread to the floor, landing easily.
"Um...Yoda?"
Yoda slowlys makes his way out from under the bed, dragging a Star Wars checkers game with him. "Right here I am. This time Sith you be."
"Yoda, no..."
Yoda interrupts him. "Very well. Then Jedi you can be."
Qui-Gon kneels down in front of the small creature. "Not now, Yoda. I have disturbing news."
Yoda's small ears perk up. "News disturbing you say!"
Qui-Gon shushes Yoda. "Shh! Gather everyone for a meeting. And act happy about it."
Yoda nods at the tall Jedi. "Understand I do." Yoda starts off with a frown on his face as Qui-Gon looks on.
"Be happy!" Qui-Gon commands with a stern voice.
Yoda's frown immediately turns up in a smile and he starts chuckling to himself as he calls for everybody's attention. "To staff meeting everybody shall come!"
Qui-Gon glances at a couple of handmaidens standing idly by. "You two, you're on podium detail." They simply bow and run off to do his bidding.
Qui-Gon spies an object by the Queen's makeshift palace. "Hey, who moved my doodle data pad over here?"
As he picks it up, Watto comes flying around the corner, flapping his wings madly and wearing a Jabba the Hutt mask, a muffled yell comes from behind it.
"Hello, Watto." Qui-Gon doesn't look up as he fiddles with the data pad.
Watto pulls the mask off. "Were you scared? I want to be ready for Halloween. So, were you scared this time?"
This is the seventh time that Watto has tried to scare a Jedi. Qui-Gon looks over his shoulder at him as he walks away. "I was close to being scared that time."
Watto looks disappointed. "I was trying for fearsome but I just don't feel it. I think I'm just coming off as annoying."
'He has no idea how annoying he already was.' Qui-Gon thought as he rounds the corner of the "Palace" and comes face to face with a blaster pointed at him. He peers down the top of the gun at Amidala before she shoves him inside the cutout door of the "Palace."
Amidala follows him and stands just inside. She smiles up at Qui-Gon.
He smiles back. "Uh...Hi Amidala."
She comes forward until she is standing right in front of him. Her hands walk up the Jedi's cloak to his chest where she grabs it and pulls him down closer to her.
"I just wanted to thank you, Qui-Gon, for rescuing my handmaidens." She bats her eyes at him.
His smile grows wider. "Oh, uh, it was nothng."
A sly smile creeps onto her face. "What do you say I give them tonight off?"
Qui-Gon's jaw dropps slightly. "I, uh..."
Amidala turns and begins walking away. She throw him a wink over her shoulder. "Remember, I'm just a couple of blocks away."
Yoda's nearby commands break into Qui-Gon's thoughts.
"Up front smaller toys will be."
Qui-Gon turns to see that the podium has been set up and all of the toys are assembled. Anikan and R2 D2 are a couple of who's who in the front row.
Qui-Gon steps up to the podium which was basically a couple of audio tapes stacked on one another. He clears his throat before he begans.
"The first item today: has everyone picked a moving buddy?"
A chorus of complaints rose up from the audience ranging from "What!" to "You can't be serious!"
Watto pipes up. "I didn't know we were supposed to have one already."
"Do we have to hold hands?"
Qui-Gon's already serious look turns even more serious. "Do you believe this to be a joke? We have only one week left before the move. I don't want to leave anyone behind." He looks over each toy with his stern gaze. "A moving buddy. If you don't have one, get one!"
"All right, next." Qui-Gon glances down at his data pad. "Uh, oh, yes. Tuesday night's plastic corrosion awareness meeting...was, I think, a big success. We want to thank C3PO for putting that on for us. Thank you C3PO."
C3PO nods. "You're welcome, sir."
Qui-Gon pretends to be looking at his data pad. "Okay. Oh, one, uh, minor note here. Charlene's birthday party has been moved to today. Next, we have..."
Qui-Gon is interrupted by a myriad of gasps and complaints.
"Wait a minute!"
"What do you mean the party's today?"
"Her birthday's not 'til next week!"
"Have they lost their Toydarian cubes?"
Qui-Gon waits for everyone to quiet. "Well, obviously, they wanted to have the party before they move. I'm not worried nor should you be."
Watto hovers next to Qui-Gon. "Of course he ain't worried. He's been Charlene's favorite toy since the beginning."
Obi-Wan, ever the loyal Padawan, sticks up for his Master. "If Master Qui- Gon says it's all right then it will be. He's never steered us wrong before."
"Come on, every Christmas and birthday we go through this," Qui-Gon adds.
Watto, not one to be shot down immediately, continued with his argument. "But what if Charlene gets another Toydarian, a mean one?"
Qui-Gon resumes his command of the meeting. "Now listen. No one is getting replaced. This is Charlene we're talking about. It doesn't matter how much we're played with. What matters is that we're here for Charlene when she's needs us. That's what we're made for right?"
Just then Anakin speaks up. "Pardon me. I hate to break up the staff meeting but they're here!"
Author: Arion
Summary: A parody of Toy Story although it does not stay strictly with the script. Think of it as Star Wars characters in a Toy Story plot.
Rating: PG--it was G but there's a sexually frustrated Obi-Wan and I'm planning on going somwhere with that.
Genre: Humor--it's just for laughs people...just for laughs.
Warning: None...unless you have a problem with walking, talking toys.
Disclaimer: Star Wars and Toy Story characters, ideas, etc. belong to their respective people. I make no money off this...it was just to make people laugh. You've heard of a laugh, right?
Charlene is in her bedroom. Sitting on the floor playing with her various Star Wars action figures and all their cool little toys. Obi-Wan Kenobi is currently in the role of the bad guy and Qui-Gon Jinn is, of course, the hero. Surrounding Charlene and the toys are cardboard boxes. Substitutes for bars, ships, and other various buildings. There is a humongous box that stands for the Naboo Palace, which Obi-Wan is positioned in front of.
Charlene talks for the meager toys.
Obi-Wan is waving a blaster around in the air. "All right everyone! This is a stickup! Don't anybody move! Now empty that safe! Credits, credits, credits!"
Queen Amidala stands defiantly in front of the Palace, dressed in one of her many odd outfits. "We will not cooperate."
"Quiet, Amidala, or your handmaidens get run over." Obi-Wan points to the captured handmaidens with the blaster.
Handmaidens: "Help us! Help us!"
The Queen's handmaidens are tied together and a podracer, piloted by Anakin Skywalker is ready to run them down at the drop of a lightsaber.
Amidala is fearful for her loyal bodyguards "Oh, no, not my handmaidens! Somebody, do something!"
Suddenly, Qui-Gon comes leaping out of nowhere, landing a few feet from Obi- Wan. He crosses his arms and stoically looks at Obi-Wan.
Qui-Gon: "I sense a fair amount of stupidity in you."
Obi-Wan: "On, no! Qui-Gon Jinn!"
Qui-Gon: "I'm here to stop you, Obi the Kid."
Obi-Wan: "How'd you know it was me?"
Qui-Gon: "Are you gonna come quietly, Braidboy?"
Obi-Wan: "You can't touch me, Qui-Gon."
Qui-Gon: "Wanna bet."
Qui-Gon Force shoves Obi-Wan over Yoda, who, for some, perhaps stupid, reason, was standing behind him. Obi-Wan trips over him and falls head over heels into a pile of blocks and is soon buried beneath them.
(Star Wars theme is heard faintly)
Charlene scoops up Qui-Gon in one hand and joyfully exclaims, "You've saved the day again, Qui-Gon!"
She pulls the round little ring attached by a cord on Qui-Gon's back and he proudly says, "You're my favorite Padawan."
Charlene, in a fit of joy, then runs out the door and downstairs, where she's greeted by her sister, Lana. Lana is busy redecorating the dining room for a birthday party. Streamers hang from the ceiling and balloons float up from the floor amid the banners and signs that say, "Happy Birthday, Charlene!!!"
"Oh, wow, this looks great! It's really is so nice of you and Mom and Dad to throw the party for me before we move. Considering my birthday isn't for another week."
Lana smiles at the extremely excited Charlene. "It'll be a good note to move on. Everybody's going to be here in a few minutes. Run upstairs and change will you."
Lana points to the choice of clothing Charlene has on: a cloak with the hood pulled up over her head. Charlene turns and races back up the stairs.
After changing into more suitable party clothes, Charlene is soon heading back downstairs again to await all the presents and party goers. Qui-Gon is left on top of her bed, slumped over. The door clicks shut.
After a few seconds, Qui-Gon's eyes blink and he sits up. "Pull my string and call me Jabba. The birthday party got moved to today." He looks out over the bedroom floor. "Okay, everybody, coast is clear!"
Obi-Wan digs himself out of the pile of blocks as toys come out from all over the place.
Obi-Wan brushes himself off. "I'm not supposed to be a robber. Does she see this braid?" Obi-Wan pulls on the braid hanging off the side of his head. "I'm a Jedi, not a Hutt," he complains to everybody nearby.
Qui-Gon starts looking around, as if for something in particular. He spots Captain Panaka nearby. "Have you seen Yoda?"
"No, master Jedi."
Qui-Gon nods at him. "Very well, Captain, thank you."
Qui-Gon slides down the bedspread to the floor, landing easily.
"Um...Yoda?"
Yoda slowlys makes his way out from under the bed, dragging a Star Wars checkers game with him. "Right here I am. This time Sith you be."
"Yoda, no..."
Yoda interrupts him. "Very well. Then Jedi you can be."
Qui-Gon kneels down in front of the small creature. "Not now, Yoda. I have disturbing news."
Yoda's small ears perk up. "News disturbing you say!"
Qui-Gon shushes Yoda. "Shh! Gather everyone for a meeting. And act happy about it."
Yoda nods at the tall Jedi. "Understand I do." Yoda starts off with a frown on his face as Qui-Gon looks on.
"Be happy!" Qui-Gon commands with a stern voice.
Yoda's frown immediately turns up in a smile and he starts chuckling to himself as he calls for everybody's attention. "To staff meeting everybody shall come!"
Qui-Gon glances at a couple of handmaidens standing idly by. "You two, you're on podium detail." They simply bow and run off to do his bidding.
Qui-Gon spies an object by the Queen's makeshift palace. "Hey, who moved my doodle data pad over here?"
As he picks it up, Watto comes flying around the corner, flapping his wings madly and wearing a Jabba the Hutt mask, a muffled yell comes from behind it.
"Hello, Watto." Qui-Gon doesn't look up as he fiddles with the data pad.
Watto pulls the mask off. "Were you scared? I want to be ready for Halloween. So, were you scared this time?"
This is the seventh time that Watto has tried to scare a Jedi. Qui-Gon looks over his shoulder at him as he walks away. "I was close to being scared that time."
Watto looks disappointed. "I was trying for fearsome but I just don't feel it. I think I'm just coming off as annoying."
'He has no idea how annoying he already was.' Qui-Gon thought as he rounds the corner of the "Palace" and comes face to face with a blaster pointed at him. He peers down the top of the gun at Amidala before she shoves him inside the cutout door of the "Palace."
Amidala follows him and stands just inside. She smiles up at Qui-Gon.
He smiles back. "Uh...Hi Amidala."
She comes forward until she is standing right in front of him. Her hands walk up the Jedi's cloak to his chest where she grabs it and pulls him down closer to her.
"I just wanted to thank you, Qui-Gon, for rescuing my handmaidens." She bats her eyes at him.
His smile grows wider. "Oh, uh, it was nothng."
A sly smile creeps onto her face. "What do you say I give them tonight off?"
Qui-Gon's jaw dropps slightly. "I, uh..."
Amidala turns and begins walking away. She throw him a wink over her shoulder. "Remember, I'm just a couple of blocks away."
Yoda's nearby commands break into Qui-Gon's thoughts.
"Up front smaller toys will be."
Qui-Gon turns to see that the podium has been set up and all of the toys are assembled. Anikan and R2 D2 are a couple of who's who in the front row.
Qui-Gon steps up to the podium which was basically a couple of audio tapes stacked on one another. He clears his throat before he begans.
"The first item today: has everyone picked a moving buddy?"
A chorus of complaints rose up from the audience ranging from "What!" to "You can't be serious!"
Watto pipes up. "I didn't know we were supposed to have one already."
"Do we have to hold hands?"
Qui-Gon's already serious look turns even more serious. "Do you believe this to be a joke? We have only one week left before the move. I don't want to leave anyone behind." He looks over each toy with his stern gaze. "A moving buddy. If you don't have one, get one!"
"All right, next." Qui-Gon glances down at his data pad. "Uh, oh, yes. Tuesday night's plastic corrosion awareness meeting...was, I think, a big success. We want to thank C3PO for putting that on for us. Thank you C3PO."
C3PO nods. "You're welcome, sir."
Qui-Gon pretends to be looking at his data pad. "Okay. Oh, one, uh, minor note here. Charlene's birthday party has been moved to today. Next, we have..."
Qui-Gon is interrupted by a myriad of gasps and complaints.
"Wait a minute!"
"What do you mean the party's today?"
"Her birthday's not 'til next week!"
"Have they lost their Toydarian cubes?"
Qui-Gon waits for everyone to quiet. "Well, obviously, they wanted to have the party before they move. I'm not worried nor should you be."
Watto hovers next to Qui-Gon. "Of course he ain't worried. He's been Charlene's favorite toy since the beginning."
Obi-Wan, ever the loyal Padawan, sticks up for his Master. "If Master Qui- Gon says it's all right then it will be. He's never steered us wrong before."
"Come on, every Christmas and birthday we go through this," Qui-Gon adds.
Watto, not one to be shot down immediately, continued with his argument. "But what if Charlene gets another Toydarian, a mean one?"
Qui-Gon resumes his command of the meeting. "Now listen. No one is getting replaced. This is Charlene we're talking about. It doesn't matter how much we're played with. What matters is that we're here for Charlene when she's needs us. That's what we're made for right?"
Just then Anakin speaks up. "Pardon me. I hate to break up the staff meeting but they're here!"
