How to be a Sith Lord
The ultimate lessons from a true Master! Learn to be a Sith Lord even if you can't use the Force at all, if you don't have a lightsaber, and if you don't have a single drop of Force-talent in your fingers!
Please note that some of these "lessons" are violent and that I do NOT expect anyone to take this stuff to heart! It's just my way of releasing my boredom and do not take this stuff seriously. No I do not do any of the material I suggest here.
1. Master the "glare." All Sith know the glare.
- Sidious uses the glare to get the Nemodians to cooperate and to control them.
- Steps to mastering the glare.
- Take in a deep breath
- Narrow your eyes to slits
- Use your anger and attempt to make your eyes burn
- If all else fails, slice them with your lightsaber or candle if lightsabers are not available. They'll feel the burn anyway.
- Learn to hate everything.
- Steps to Mastering Ultimate Hatred
- Kick yourself repeatedly.
- Punch yourself and cause yourself as much pain as possible.
- Now look around you, telling your brain that the cause of your suffering is due to the objects around you. Blame the Jedi for your sore elbow. Relish in the feeling of blaming someone else. It always works and makes you feel good too.
3. Obey your Master always.
- Go back to Number 2 and think that you'll experience that pain if you don't obey.
- Remember that it isn't about honor, it's about not suffering. Obey to save yourself. The day will come when you'll stand over your Master's dead body.
4. Learn to feel no compassion.
- Again beat yourself. Attack yourself with your lightsaber. Kick yourself where you don't like to be kicked.
- Relish in the pain. Think more about your own suffering than the suffering of the person that needs your help. Balance out this equation: I suffer or he suffers . . .
5. The Force is your strongest weapon. Learn to levitate objects.
- Go into a room and drill nails into the roof, making a U shape with the nail so that you can hook something onto it. Hope that no one notices
- Tie invisible pieces of string to a pencil and then loop the string back up towards the ceiling around a hook.
- Loop it back down so that if you jerk on the string hidden in your hand, the pencil will fly up towards the ceiling.
- Say "Tada!" and destroy the evidence quickly.
6. Mind Control: How and When
- Keep in mind that mind control should be used sparingly and only under rare circumstances. (oh what the heck? We're Sith, not Jedi!) Use mind control whenever it will benefit you or give you pleasure.
- Go out and get a nice looking weapon. Knives and guns do nicely, baseball bats work equally well.
- Approach the person you wish to use mind control on.
- Take deep breaths, tell them what you want, and then using delicate movements, swing your weapon into view.
- If they refuse to respond, press your weapon closer.
- Normally, they choose to respond to your wishes. If you have a stubborn fool that you're threatening, just turn away. He ain't worth wasting precious time on.
More lessons coming up, depending on the reviews! If you really hate this, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be violent, but Sith Lords are pretty cruel.
