I hate you, Mikagami Tokiya.
You're pathetic. I repeat, for emphasis: pathetic. You don't agree, do you? You think you're wonderful. You think you're so amazing, the way you live for your sister's death. You think you're better than everyone else, because your life is not simply about school and girls.
Sure, you're smart. Sure, you're beautiful. But so what? So are loads of people. That's no achievement, being smart and beautiful. It's nothing to be proud of. You were gifted with that through no accomplishment of your own. It would have been better for you to be ugly and stupid, because you don't make use of what you have in any way but selfish ones.
You are stupid. You're stupid to throw your life away, stupid to isolate yourself, stupid to live in the past. You have no future, because you have no present. You're bent on only one thing, revenge. You're wasting your life trying to kill someone, and you don't even know who he is. If that isn't being stupid, what is?
You think too much of yourself. You're proud and arrogant and egotistical. You look down on everyone else. Nobody is good enough for you. Why? Because they have the courage to be happy.
You think that's a sin. Happiness is something you can do without. You don't need friends, lovers, family. You don't need happiness. You don't need happiness. You don't need happiness.
You think that'd come true, if you repeated it enough times?
You're cold, haughty, distant. You respond with callousness to the kindnesses your companions show you. You turn down friendship. (After all, you don't need happiness.) You reject anything and anyone who doesn't have anything to do with your dead sister. You simply can't be bothered. Nobody's good enough for you. The only person you ever want to rely on is yourself.
You run roughshod over everyone else. You don't care about their individuality or their personality. You force them to fit into your world, never mind that they have their own. You're rude and derisive and just plain cruel. Worse, you don't feel the least bit guilty about it.
You pride yourself on your control over your emotions. You don't see that in actual fact is it your emotions that control you. At first it was your anger over the murder. It's not as simple as that now, though. You're tired, after years of struggling. But you're not going to give up fighting; you're not going to give up searching. You're too pig-headed for that. You call it determination and resolve. You use words like dedication. Commitment. Perseverance. You're only deluding yourself, you stupid fool. It isn't that. It's pride. Stubbornness.
You won't admit there's a deep loneliness within you, and that you're just a little boy wanting to be loved. You won't admit that you're too weak to deal with your sister's death. You never let yourself heal; you turned her memory from yourself by making yourself drunk with the need for revenge.
You're so pathetic, and I hate you.
I hate Mikagami Tokiya.
Too bad I am Mikagami Tokiya.
You're pathetic. I repeat, for emphasis: pathetic. You don't agree, do you? You think you're wonderful. You think you're so amazing, the way you live for your sister's death. You think you're better than everyone else, because your life is not simply about school and girls.
Sure, you're smart. Sure, you're beautiful. But so what? So are loads of people. That's no achievement, being smart and beautiful. It's nothing to be proud of. You were gifted with that through no accomplishment of your own. It would have been better for you to be ugly and stupid, because you don't make use of what you have in any way but selfish ones.
You are stupid. You're stupid to throw your life away, stupid to isolate yourself, stupid to live in the past. You have no future, because you have no present. You're bent on only one thing, revenge. You're wasting your life trying to kill someone, and you don't even know who he is. If that isn't being stupid, what is?
You think too much of yourself. You're proud and arrogant and egotistical. You look down on everyone else. Nobody is good enough for you. Why? Because they have the courage to be happy.
You think that's a sin. Happiness is something you can do without. You don't need friends, lovers, family. You don't need happiness. You don't need happiness. You don't need happiness.
You think that'd come true, if you repeated it enough times?
You're cold, haughty, distant. You respond with callousness to the kindnesses your companions show you. You turn down friendship. (After all, you don't need happiness.) You reject anything and anyone who doesn't have anything to do with your dead sister. You simply can't be bothered. Nobody's good enough for you. The only person you ever want to rely on is yourself.
You run roughshod over everyone else. You don't care about their individuality or their personality. You force them to fit into your world, never mind that they have their own. You're rude and derisive and just plain cruel. Worse, you don't feel the least bit guilty about it.
You pride yourself on your control over your emotions. You don't see that in actual fact is it your emotions that control you. At first it was your anger over the murder. It's not as simple as that now, though. You're tired, after years of struggling. But you're not going to give up fighting; you're not going to give up searching. You're too pig-headed for that. You call it determination and resolve. You use words like dedication. Commitment. Perseverance. You're only deluding yourself, you stupid fool. It isn't that. It's pride. Stubbornness.
You won't admit there's a deep loneliness within you, and that you're just a little boy wanting to be loved. You won't admit that you're too weak to deal with your sister's death. You never let yourself heal; you turned her memory from yourself by making yourself drunk with the need for revenge.
You're so pathetic, and I hate you.
I hate Mikagami Tokiya.
Too bad I am Mikagami Tokiya.
