How You See Me
Chapter 3

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"What are you doing out here?"

He snapped out of it and lowered his arm. What kind of a question was that? She had been dead for three months and she wants to know what he's doing out here. What ever happened to 'It's nice to see you.'?

"Patrolling. Y'know, I'm the big bad now, with my super strength and all. You haven't exactly been up for the job as of late."

"Excuse me for being dead!" Buffy snapped.

Spike sighed.

"Look Slayer, that's not what I meant. Just answering your question is all."

The two of them stood there searching for something to say, but nothing sensible came to mind.

Spike's eyes roamed over her, she looked the same, just as cute as she'd always been.

And just as untouchable.

"Well I'm here now..so you can go."

"Right then, I won't be in your way again." He brushed past her and headed in the direction of his crypt.

"Spike..wait." She called after him.

He stopped in his tracks but didn't dare turn around. Tears had welled in his eyes and he wasn't sure that he could keep them back.

"I just wanted to say..um, thanks for taking care of things..y'know, patrolling, and Dawn.."

"I do good by my promises, I swore to protect her till the end..and I will."

"Well, thank you, it helps to put my mind at ease."

"A bloody pleasure pet." He growled and continued on his way home leaving a surprised Buffy. She'd thought he would have taken it a bit differently..maybe even in the back of her mind she'd wanted him to declare his love for her again.

Something about knowing that Spike would always be there to back her up had been a great comfort to her before and right now it was the sort of comfort she was in dire need of.

Granted she didn't share his emotions, or what used to be his emotions..she wasn't sure how he felt now, but he was the only one, besides Dawn, who she felt she could trust. No matter how many times she told herself the people around her were her friends, she couldn't help but think their reasons for bringing her back were purely selfish and not one cared enough to try and understand her. Even if Spike was up to something she could trust him to tell her straight up.

She bit her lip as a lone tear made it's way down her cheek; it was only the second time she'd been able to cry since she'd been back.

She sat on a nearby tombstone and hung her head, letting the tears come freely.

She didn't hear the soft footsteps behind her and was too surprised to make a decent attempt at fighting back when one strong hand clamped over her mouth and an arm locked around her chest, pinning her arms to her sides...

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Her slave. Her puppy. Following her wherever she went. Taking care of her, protecting her.

Yes he knew she trusted him. At least that was something. He hadn't seen the hate he'd feared in her eyes..but that could have simply been because everything had happened so fast and she had never realized what a failure he truly was. So until she knew the truth she would trust her sister's life with him, and at times even her own. But would she trust her emotions with him, her heart? Never.

He was far too below that.

He growled and punched a tree in passing.

Well if all she wanted was a bodyguard then that's all he'd give her. None of that sappy nonsense from before.

If she ever wanted anything more from him, which he at times doubted, and at other times was sure she would, she would have to live without it.

He had given her his all and she'd denied him even a crumb of hope. Well she wasn't the only one who could lock her heart away.

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"Where's Buffy?" Xander asked. "Isn't it, y'know, past the vampire's bedtime?" He grabbed one of the donuts and shoved a chunk of it into his mouth.

"I don't know.." Willow said, with a worried look on her face.

"It's not like Buffy to.." Tara began, but then stopped herself remembering that this wasn't the same Buffy as they'd all known.

"Maybe she ran into Spike and.." Dawn piped up before she was quickly cut off.

"Dawn!"

"What?? I was just going to say there was a big monster or something and it was an all nighter.."

"Maybe..We can ask him."

"Maybe she just wanted some time to herself.." Willow mused.

They all nodded in agreement, but in the back of their minds they were all worried that it might have been something worse.

Not one of them would voice their fears though, Buffy had only just gotten back and they couldn't bear to loose her again. It couldn't be possible that something terrible had happened, they had already had their share of terrible things...Buffy had already had her share.

It wouldn't be fair.

TBC...