He Isn't...

A/N: wow. Two chapters in one night. This is another shortie though. As if any of them are long...I figure it's prolly late jan in my timeline. No more than five more fic to finish the series, I figure....

*****

It takes me most of the day to remember what Francine had told me the night before. The other things I remember make me wonder how gay I really am...but Harry still haunts my mind. I'm not going to change for him. Even if I could change, even if I thought that would make him give a damn about me, I still wouldn't.

I'm satisfied with my life as it is. The thought of becoming one of them, a muggle lover...it's beyond me. I feel secure in my position right now. Sure, Lucius Malfoy's Son isn't the best of titles, and I can't stand my father, but there are privileges.

I can't admit to being a good person. At times, I think I'm barely human. Do I really give a damn about anything? When Cedric Diggory died, didn't I think it was funny? There shouldn't be anything funny about death. I do scare myself sometimes, but I don't want to be good.

And he wouldn't care about me, even if I were.

That's the whole thing, isn't it? That I am, and he isn't. I have never once truly thought that anything could ever happen between us. Not after he shot me down on the train way back at the beginning of first year, and then I didn't realise what I was feeling. He's very much on the straight side...though...he never has been able to hold a girlfriend...no. I don't even want to think about it. It's just not going to happen.

Ever.

Such is life.