Happily Ever After

Duooof

By: Xel-chan & Navi

Once upon a time, there lived a young boy by the name of Duo. Duo lived with his evil stepsisters and evil stepmother. His stepmother hated Duo.

"Clean this up you slob!" She ordered pointing at the crumbs she'd dropped. "No, wait! That's your dinner, enjoy."

Duo knew that somehow he'd get out of this. One day, he'll see his prince and live happily ever after. However, that day wasn't today. Duo would stare out of the window; waiting for the day true love would come and take him away from this hellhole. When love would-

"DUO!" A shrill voice screeched. Duo cringed. "Quit daydreaming you stupid boy and start on your chores!"

"I did them all."

"Well then, do them again! Quit stalling boy, get a move on!"

"Stupid stepsister and her stupid chores." Duo said as he stomped off.

Relena looked at her reflection. "Silly boy, he ought to be happy I took him in"

"Of course mother" her daughter, Une agreed.

"He ought to be grateful" Hilde, the second daughter quickly said.

"Hmph, he should be lucky I'm so nice"

"Of course mother" The voices rang simultaneously

"If only my father were alive" Duo mused sadly as he swept the floor for the fifth time that day.

But, Duo's father was alive! He was watching from a-far with sad eyes. Quickly, he formulated a plan. He grabbed his cell phone and dialed the numbers for "Godmothers Convention" and "Cupid's Junkyard Arrows (For love at 1st sight)"

"Damn these machine operators" He cursed

Finally, he got an answer. "Hello, Godmothers Convention, we guarantee we make you happy or your money back, how can I help you?" A nasal voice came over the line.

"I need a godmother"

"So does everyone else"

"I need her to have shooting skills"

"You plannin' on killin' someone, or just aiming for a prominent body part"

"It's Cupid's arrow, guaranteed to make you fall in love at first sight."

"Oh God! The sugary sweetness. I'm melting, meeellllting, oh what a world"

The Convention wasn't stupid. This job would require a high priority godmother. They put Wufei Chang on the job.

Duo cried silently to himself. Earlier, a courier had informed them of the ball. Duo had been so excited, hoping he could go. Unfortunately, his stepmother had once again squashed his hopes. He was all alone in this big dark and scary house.

Wufei straightened his skirt. "Damn these things! They keep riding up! Screw those people at G.C.! Screw them all." Wufei began to walk to the door and tripped in his high-heels. The fairy wings were getting itchy. "Injustice! This is the only job I can be accepted to. But I'll show them, I'll show them all." Wufei secretly planned to sabotage the plan. No justice, no fair. He's on strike! Go cheap cigars!

Duo's head came up when he heard something outside.

"Hurry up you weak onna! I don't have all day!" It must be his fairy godmother. It had to be! But, his fairy godmother looked a bit manly.

"What are you on crack?"

"What are you on rogaine? Where did you get that thing, the wig store?" Now make your stupid wish. I ain't got all day!"

"So much for being a kindly old lady"

"Shut up you weak onna and make your wish"

"Well," Duo began slowly, "I would like to go to the ball. That's it; I wish to go to the ball!"

"The ball? You're going to waste your wish on the ball? Fine, it's your life."

"What's wrong with wishing to go to the ball, meeting a handsome prince, and falling in love?"

"Hmph, it's your wish." Wufei said as he began to grant the wish.

"Now, what were those words? Uh. Hold on, I know this!"

"Bibbity Bobbity Boo?"

"Hell no! Oh I know! Slimy Warty Toad Skins!" Duo began to glow!

"Hurray! I'm a princess!"

"Yeah yeah. Now give me my $5.50."

"What?! The last one only charged $3!"

"Don't even try it. I'm giving you a ten cent discount cause you're a guy-princess, don't stretch it."

"Fine, can I stay up till midnight?"

"Ten!"

"Ten! Boy is this is a rip-off! I'm calling my lawyer!"

"We have a contract."

"Says who?"

"Says me, I just wrote it. Now sign."

"No."

"Fine" ~snap~ "Oooh Oooh Mr. Maxwell can I have your autograph?"

"Sure!" ~snap~

"Thank you!"

"Hey!"

"Goodbye!!"

"Hold on! Where's my pumpkin? Damn him! I need to catch a cab!"

When Duo arrived, the ball was in full swing. There was beer on the tables, and wine coolers on the floor. The "Thong Song" was pounding out of the subwoofers (bass speakers) Duo saw his stepmother and stepsisters, drunk and hanging all over the prince. The prince's nose was wrinkled in disgust. Looking around for the guards, his eyes connected with Duo's. It was love at first sight. Suddenly, a guard stumbled into Heero startling him from drowning in the beautiful amethyst eyes.

"So Heeeeerrrrrrooooo, ya gonnnnnaaa drink something or whhhhaaaaat" The guard slurred leaning on Heero's shoulder.

"Omae O Koruso" Heero threatened the guard.

"Thhaaaaats alright, you never kill the ones ya threaten"

Heero moved causing the guard to floor

"Ooooh, the pain"

Heero began walking towards the beautiful angel that had found its way into his home. Heero finally reached her, wading his way through drunken bodies. Just as he went to grab her hand, the clock struck ten. His beauty looked stricken. She then went to flee down the stairs.

"Wait!" Heero yelled after her, "What's your name?"

"My name is Du-ooof!"She fell down the remaining stairs.

Heero winced, that had to hurt. She got up and kept running. You had to admire a girl like that. It was at that moment that Heero noticed that she had left behind a sneaker.

"I'll find my beauty yet" Heero said determined as he walked back. "My beautiful duooof!"

Relena looked at her stepson carefully. He looked just a bit too happy. He was humming a song from last night while cleaning. Had he been there? Was Relena's evilness slipping? All Relena could remember was a hell of a headache she'd waken up with. Just then there was a knock at the door. Gossip had it that the prince was looking for some woman from last night. Hopefully it wiuld be one of her girls.

In his mind, Heero could still see the beauty. Her eyes filled with intelligence and her face as she fell down the stairs. He winced, bad memory. Hopefully he'd find Duooof here. Though, Duooof was an awfully strange name.

"You know your highness, this is almost all of the homes in the kingdom. If we don't find her here you will be forced to."

"Shut up"

"Yes sir, shutting up sir"

He hated annoying reminders form annoying people. Just the the dor was opened. A blonde woman curtsied to him.

"Good Afternoon your highness, what brings you to our lovely home on this lovely."

"Can we just get to the point, I ain't got all day ya know."

"Umm, okay," Relena checked the script "Alright it says I'm supposed to beg you to marry pig daughters, you find Duo by accident, you live happily ever after. Got it!"

Relena put on the puppy eyes. "Please prince, I ask that you consider my lovely refined.." *bump bump bump* Her ugly fat and totally unrefined daughters fell down the steps.

"I sure hope you have another pair of daughters cause that pair ain't working for you" Heero snickered. Just then he caught movement in the corner of his eye once again. "Who is that in the kitchen?"

"Oh, that's the maid."

"May I meet this maid"

"Duo!" Relena called curiously.

"Yes," he mumbled poking his head from the kitchen.

There, he or she, Heero couldn't tell, was. The beauty from the night before! Heero and Duo later got married and lived happily ever after. Relena was mad because evil stepmothers anonymous might take way her license. Hey, they'd done it to Snow White's stepmother.

~The End~