AN: Yeah, eventually I'll write a serious Harry Potter fic,
eventually. I have another 2 ideas for funnies and then we'll see. =)
Dunno why but they just demand to be written. LOL...
Standard disclaimers apply... Review if ya liked it, or didn't!
Umm, didn't edit or really add to the content... Just changed around
the paragraph form to try to make it clearer who's speaking at the end.
Thank's ya'll. =)
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Hen Day~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Come on Percy, just one more..." A bleary eyed Percy stared
fuzzily at his two younger brothers.
"You sure this is just butterbeer, it tastes stronger
somehow..." Fred and George exchanged one meaningful look over a
still suspicious Percy's head. Fred winked and George stifled a
rebellious chuckle.
"Really Percy? Mine tastes fine... Maybe it's just been
awhile since you've had some. Go ahead though, it's your twenty first
birthday and we paid for the next round already. It'd be a shame to
waste it." When Percy still hesitated George leaned forward.
"Come on Percy, don't you trust us, your very own brothers?"
Now, if Percy had been absolutely sober warning lights would have gone
off with that too innocently asked question. Unfortunately, or
perhaps fortunately for my plot, Percy was already half gone. His
alcohol fogged brain couldn't quite grasp why some part of him didn't
want to drown the next waiting pint but, spurred by Fred and George's
puppy dog faces Percy shrugged, resigned, and downed his next drink.
Several hours later...
"This stinks... He's not even fun drunk." Fred poked a half
unconscious Percy with distaste. Percy moaned and started to snore
loudly into the spilled beer puddle he had fallen asleep into. One
thumb inched towards his mouth.
"That's it," Fred said. "If he starts sucking his thumb we
are so out of here, without him. Actually," Fred continued, warming
to the idea, "that might be kinda funny. Perfect prefect Percy found
passed out in local pub... Imagine the scandal! Delicious!" George
was shaking his head though, a lop sided grin on his face, as he
pulled out a small plastic bottle. Fred stared at it, eyes wide.
"I... I didn't think they were ready," he whispered as he took
the bottle reverently. George looked proud of himself.
"I did some work last weekend when you were off selling our
fake wands to corporate sponsors. I think they're ready for a beta
test." Both twin's eyes turned to Percy, identical smiles twitching
on their faces.
"Mum'll kill us," Fred said.
"Probably."
"And Percy will never forgive us." George snorted.
"I hope not." Fred looked at his twin, eyes shining.
"Would you like to do the honors?" George unscrewed the top
and took out a small yellow pill at random.
"What'd we make the yellow ones?" Fred asked conversationally
as they propped Percy's head up and opened his mouth.
"Dunno," George answered absentmindedly as he shoved the pill
down his older brother's throat.
"Platypus or giraffe... something like that. We'll know when
he wakes up." The two sat back and let Percy's head fall back to the
sodden table with a wet smack, the Animal Make Believe Joke Pills
safely contained in their pill bottle in front of their unconscious
sibling, extremely pleased with themselves.
Three hours later a more interesting Percy woke up. It took
them twenty minutes to get him to the pub's fireplace and ready for
the floo powder. Fred and George were both laughing so hard they were
hysterical and Percy... Percy seemed to have become rather preoccupied
with trying to lay an egg. Apparently yellow was chicken.
The next morning...
Arthur Weasley came rambling in for breakfast. "Good morning
dear, how are you?" Molly looked up and Arthur sighed.
"Who did what?" Molly glowered.
"I'm not sure but I think we should send Fred and George an
owl... They took Percy out for a bit of a guys party last night and
now he's acting very odd..." Arthur raised red brows and Molly
sighed. "All right," she conceded, "weirder than usual." Arthur
pulled out a chair and beamed as his breakfast appeared before him.
"How do you mean?" he asked absently as he dug in. Molly
snorted.
"Well, for one he asked for worms and bird seed for
breakfast."
Arthur shrugged nonchalantly.
"Come on dear... You know how he is. He's probably doing a
report over his vacation time. Anything to get in someone's good
graces." Mrs. Weasley smiled with her husband but it was strained.
"Arthur, honey, you don't understand. He wanted them for
breakfast, to eat."
Arthur Weasley swallowed.
"Come on dear, even if that is a bit out of the ordinary it
doesn't mean there's anything wrong with him." Mrs. Weasley brought
her husband his orange juice. He winced when she slammed it down on
the table.
"There's more?" he asked weakly when faced with her furious
gaze.
"Yes," she snapped. "He also asked me, quite clearly, to
liberate the chickens."
Arthur Weasley paled.
"Well, maybe he's been getting ideas from Hermione." He met
and wilted under his wife's incredulity. "All right, all right...
I'll go talk to him. There's still no proof our son isn't just
insane. I mean Fred and George are good boys... They'd never do
anything to hurt Percy, permanently," he added as a somewhat belated
afterthought.
"I wouldn't dear."
Arthur Weasley sighed, exasperated.
"Why can't I go talk to him?"
Mrs. Weasley smiled again, tightly, painfully.
"He's busy."
Mr. Weasley rose with a disbelieving snort of his own.
"Doing what? Counting his bird seed?"
"Actually he's building a nest on top of the hat rack out of
some of my favorite scarves. Doesn't want to be disturbed."
Deflated, Mr. Weasley sank weakly down into his chair.
"All right," he said, defeated. "I'll send an owl to Fred and
George... A nest?"
Molly Weasley nodded solemnly.
"Okay, okay... I'll handle it, hopefully before he tries to
fly..."
eventually. I have another 2 ideas for funnies and then we'll see. =)
Dunno why but they just demand to be written. LOL...
Standard disclaimers apply... Review if ya liked it, or didn't!
Umm, didn't edit or really add to the content... Just changed around
the paragraph form to try to make it clearer who's speaking at the end.
Thank's ya'll. =)
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Hen Day~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Come on Percy, just one more..." A bleary eyed Percy stared
fuzzily at his two younger brothers.
"You sure this is just butterbeer, it tastes stronger
somehow..." Fred and George exchanged one meaningful look over a
still suspicious Percy's head. Fred winked and George stifled a
rebellious chuckle.
"Really Percy? Mine tastes fine... Maybe it's just been
awhile since you've had some. Go ahead though, it's your twenty first
birthday and we paid for the next round already. It'd be a shame to
waste it." When Percy still hesitated George leaned forward.
"Come on Percy, don't you trust us, your very own brothers?"
Now, if Percy had been absolutely sober warning lights would have gone
off with that too innocently asked question. Unfortunately, or
perhaps fortunately for my plot, Percy was already half gone. His
alcohol fogged brain couldn't quite grasp why some part of him didn't
want to drown the next waiting pint but, spurred by Fred and George's
puppy dog faces Percy shrugged, resigned, and downed his next drink.
Several hours later...
"This stinks... He's not even fun drunk." Fred poked a half
unconscious Percy with distaste. Percy moaned and started to snore
loudly into the spilled beer puddle he had fallen asleep into. One
thumb inched towards his mouth.
"That's it," Fred said. "If he starts sucking his thumb we
are so out of here, without him. Actually," Fred continued, warming
to the idea, "that might be kinda funny. Perfect prefect Percy found
passed out in local pub... Imagine the scandal! Delicious!" George
was shaking his head though, a lop sided grin on his face, as he
pulled out a small plastic bottle. Fred stared at it, eyes wide.
"I... I didn't think they were ready," he whispered as he took
the bottle reverently. George looked proud of himself.
"I did some work last weekend when you were off selling our
fake wands to corporate sponsors. I think they're ready for a beta
test." Both twin's eyes turned to Percy, identical smiles twitching
on their faces.
"Mum'll kill us," Fred said.
"Probably."
"And Percy will never forgive us." George snorted.
"I hope not." Fred looked at his twin, eyes shining.
"Would you like to do the honors?" George unscrewed the top
and took out a small yellow pill at random.
"What'd we make the yellow ones?" Fred asked conversationally
as they propped Percy's head up and opened his mouth.
"Dunno," George answered absentmindedly as he shoved the pill
down his older brother's throat.
"Platypus or giraffe... something like that. We'll know when
he wakes up." The two sat back and let Percy's head fall back to the
sodden table with a wet smack, the Animal Make Believe Joke Pills
safely contained in their pill bottle in front of their unconscious
sibling, extremely pleased with themselves.
Three hours later a more interesting Percy woke up. It took
them twenty minutes to get him to the pub's fireplace and ready for
the floo powder. Fred and George were both laughing so hard they were
hysterical and Percy... Percy seemed to have become rather preoccupied
with trying to lay an egg. Apparently yellow was chicken.
The next morning...
Arthur Weasley came rambling in for breakfast. "Good morning
dear, how are you?" Molly looked up and Arthur sighed.
"Who did what?" Molly glowered.
"I'm not sure but I think we should send Fred and George an
owl... They took Percy out for a bit of a guys party last night and
now he's acting very odd..." Arthur raised red brows and Molly
sighed. "All right," she conceded, "weirder than usual." Arthur
pulled out a chair and beamed as his breakfast appeared before him.
"How do you mean?" he asked absently as he dug in. Molly
snorted.
"Well, for one he asked for worms and bird seed for
breakfast."
Arthur shrugged nonchalantly.
"Come on dear... You know how he is. He's probably doing a
report over his vacation time. Anything to get in someone's good
graces." Mrs. Weasley smiled with her husband but it was strained.
"Arthur, honey, you don't understand. He wanted them for
breakfast, to eat."
Arthur Weasley swallowed.
"Come on dear, even if that is a bit out of the ordinary it
doesn't mean there's anything wrong with him." Mrs. Weasley brought
her husband his orange juice. He winced when she slammed it down on
the table.
"There's more?" he asked weakly when faced with her furious
gaze.
"Yes," she snapped. "He also asked me, quite clearly, to
liberate the chickens."
Arthur Weasley paled.
"Well, maybe he's been getting ideas from Hermione." He met
and wilted under his wife's incredulity. "All right, all right...
I'll go talk to him. There's still no proof our son isn't just
insane. I mean Fred and George are good boys... They'd never do
anything to hurt Percy, permanently," he added as a somewhat belated
afterthought.
"I wouldn't dear."
Arthur Weasley sighed, exasperated.
"Why can't I go talk to him?"
Mrs. Weasley smiled again, tightly, painfully.
"He's busy."
Mr. Weasley rose with a disbelieving snort of his own.
"Doing what? Counting his bird seed?"
"Actually he's building a nest on top of the hat rack out of
some of my favorite scarves. Doesn't want to be disturbed."
Deflated, Mr. Weasley sank weakly down into his chair.
"All right," he said, defeated. "I'll send an owl to Fred and
George... A nest?"
Molly Weasley nodded solemnly.
"Okay, okay... I'll handle it, hopefully before he tries to
fly..."
