You may not like this fic but it did take me a while so go easy on the hate mail k?

Suggestions? Comments? Flames (Will be ignored but ahh hell)? Send to iam_not_compulsive@hotmail.com

Disclaimer: Cats isn't mine. Damn it! But if Andrew Lloyd Webber or anyone else is willing to sell it to me for a paperclip, three old rubber bands and forty five cents then I will gladly accept. Seeing as that won't happen in the near future I can't do anything about it. So if ALW has any problems with me using his er characters then I will apologize to the great one when I meet him myself. (No seriously! ()



1 The Life and Times of Rumpleteazer and Mungojerrie - By Chibi Teazer

The park was deserted at that time of night. Except for a lone figure pondering if it was a good idea to jump into the road or not. She didn't realise another cat was approaching her. The little cat stared up at the large dark eyes staring at her.

"Wot you starin' a'?" she said sharply

"Nuffin, I wosna' starin' at anyfin'"

"Ar' you tryin' to moc' me?"

"'Ow, would' i be doin' tha'"

"You're copyin' my accen'"

"Nah, dis is me accen' na'urally"

She stared up at him. Her eyes made him very uncomfortable. She looked very beautiful to him. Many of the other cats mocked him due to huis accent. He was the only Jellicle with a cockney accent. But now he had found a new cat. She was gorgeous and she had the same accent as he did. She was still young though. She looked to be a couple of months younger than him. He felt something strange around her. Maybe she wasn't an ordinary cat. Maybe she was a Jellicle too. If only.

"Wha' are you doin' out on the stree's. You are very youn'"

"My paren's chucke' me ou' cause i was so sma'l. Dadda neva li'ed me a' all."

"Wha's your name then?"

"Well they always call me stoopid and NO."

"Nah, they aint you'r name. Wha' was thee firs' thing your mother eva called you?"

"She calle' me er Rumpleteazer."

"Well there you ar' then. Tha's your name."

"O, is I' a nice na'e then?"

"I'sa beudiful name, I'm Mungojerrie by the wa'"

"Mungoj, Mungoje, ah hell. Can I just call ya Mungo?"

"Yea, wy no'."

He looked her up and down again. She couldn't live by herself. She needed a protector. Hah! He could do that easily.

"C'mon." he said

"Whe're we goin?" she asked as she trotted along beside him.

"You cain't live alone on th' stree's can you. You can stay wif me til we figure somin out."

She smiled at him and walked along chewing at her bottom lip. They came to an alleyway. He showed her a large wooden crate. He walked inside. She followed slowly.

"It's probably nuffin compared to wat you are use' to bu' it'll keep ya warm and dry."

"Oh no, Mungo you misunderstood me. I's great. So much betta tha' wot I'ma used ta."

He smiled inwardly to himself and to her as he watched her playing with all his things that he had 'nicked' from various places.

"Wot's dat?" she said pointing to a pile of feathers, material and other soft things woven in a 'nest' like shape.

"Tha's my bed."

She grinned with delight and jumped on the feathers pouncing here and there. She wiggled her . er. behind and pounced on what looked like a feather but after Rumpleteazer had had a go at it well.you get the picture. She stopped suddenly and stared at something she saw sparkling in his pile of stuff.

"Wot's that?" she asked pointing to it.

"Tha's a set o' pearls."

She stared at them mystified by their beauty. He saw how much she liked them and decided to give them to her later.

"'ere, Teazah. You need to ge' som sleep'"

"Yeah ok,"

She looked at him expectantly. He rolled his eyes and smiled a bit and then pushed her to the er rather mangled bed area that she had destroyed seconds before. She was still a kitten at heart. He helped her clean up his bedraggled bed and then lay her down. She was asleep in seconds.

"G'night Teazah." and he to fell asleep a little way away from her.

Later that night Mungojerrie woke up to the sound of muffled cries. He looked around and saw Rumpleteazer crying in her sleep. He nudged her to wake her up.

"Teazer, Teazer wake up!" he called out desperately.

She sat up very suddenly and fell into his arms crying very heavily.

"Teazer, it's alright now." he soothed the poor little cat "What on earth were you dreamin abou' to scare you so much?"

She calmed down a little and began to tell her story.

"Father always ha'ed me. 'Cause I wasna pre'ey enough and wasna big enough. All my bruvers and sistahs hated me to. Father was always angry a' me. He woul' 'it me and scrat'ch me. 'E though' I was the cause of all 'is problems. I still go' the bruises and scars. I've 'ad ni'emares eva since."

He stared at her open mouthed. How could anyone so that to their own kitten? He held her close and rocked her so that she was completely calm. She fell asleep again in his arms. This time she didn't cry. He lay her down and moved away from her. But as soon as he left her side she started to cry again. He quickly walked over to her patting her so she calmed down. He lay down beside her and she curled up to him. How he loved that feeling. The next day Mungojerrie told her that he wouldn't be there that night.

"I hav' to go ou' to a well le's jus' say I 'ave to go ou'."

"Where to?"

"A par'y sorta thing."

"Can I come?"

"I's onli for Jellicles."

"For wot?!" she said confusedly.

"Jellicles. A Jellicle ca' has like a sixf sense. They ca' sense ofer Jellicles and where ofer Jellicles are." He said slowly "I can sense that feelin around you. You mit' be a jellicle."

"Me? Doesn' tha' mean I can go to this par'y then?"

"Yeah, bu' you gotta fin' it."

"Oh, is tha' all." She said and lay her head down.

He smiled at the young queen.

"Don't worry, you'll fin' it if you are mean' to find it."

He caught her a rat and watched her devour it. He left a little while after that giving her reassurance that she could find the Jellicle 'hangout'. She sat in the sun for a while then decided to stroll around the city. She knew her way back to Mungojerrie's crate so she set off for the park. She liked the park. Her whole life had changed there. She had met Mungojerrie and had stayed with him. Everything was better for her. She looked at herself in the water of the pond. She wasn't very clean. She set about on the not so easy task of cleaning her dirty fur. In half an hour or so she was clean and ready to start her search. She walked to the edge of the park. The rich part of the town. How she wished that she belonged there. She suddenly felt a shiver run down her spine. Her ears pricked at this unknown feeling. She felt so strange. Was this what Mungojerrie had meant when she would know how to find the Jellicle 'hangout"? She moved forwards a few steps and the feeling increased, she continued in the direction her feet were taking her. Excitement pounded in her ears as she quickened her pace. She suddenly stopped. She had gone too far. She moved back to the start of a street. She walked down it and came to the very end. A large junkyard was all she could see and yet the excitement fizzing inside her and that tingling in her ears and whiskers drew her to the inside. She walked slowly inside trying not to get her newly cleaned fur dirty again. She didn't want Mungojerrie to be ashamed of her. She had made a special effort for him. She knocked over so many things but she was too excited and frightened to enjoy it. She suddenly heard voices. She peeped slowly over a large tyre and almost fell over. The sight in front of her amazed her. She saw about thirty cats. All different talking and laughing with each other. She saw beautiful queens and handsome toms and knew that she had found the Jellicle Hangout. She looked around for Mungojerrie. She couldn't see him. She tried to make her way down the pile of junk.

"Who are you." Asked one of the male cats. A grey one who looked like a tabby.

"Why are you here?" asked a red queen.

"What's your name?" asked a rather large female cat.

"Teazer! You made it!" called the familiar voice of Mungojerrie.

He came over to her smiling. She looked around apprehensively.

"This is the one I wasa tellin you 'bout!" said Mungojerrie to the grey stripey tabby.

He motioned for the other cats to leave them alone. Mungojerrie motioned to her saying that he would come back when they were done.

"Ok I just need to get some facts straight. Are you a Jellicle?"

"I dunno? Mungo said that ifin I could fin' my way 'ere I was."

"Ah, so did you use the Jellicle sense to get here or did you follow Mungojerrie?"

"I didn't follow him. I jus' sorta followed my twitchin' ears and fiizin' whiskers."

"Aha! The Jellicle sense! You are deffinitely a Jellicle. Alright now what's your name?"

"Didn't Mungo tell you? I ah fink it's Rumpleteazer."

"Ok, so you are Rumpleteazer and you're staying with Mungojerrie?"

"Yeah."

"Ok, do you want to stay here for today and wait for the Jellicle ball?"

"Does tha' mean I can sta'?" She asked excitedly.

"Of course you can, you're a Jellicle."

"Um if it's no' a ru'e questin. Er wot's you're name?"

"Er sorry.. I'm Munkustrap."

"Ok, Munkustrap. Thankyou."

He left her alone.

"Well? Howdit go?" asked Mungojerrie.

"He said I can stai! I'm allowed to watch the ball tonit'!"

"Tha's grate! I'll come and help you mee' a few cats."

He showed her around and she met many cats. She didn't know how she was going to learn all the names. She was quite put out.

At last the Jellicle moon appeared and the dancing and songs began. Rumpleteazer sat up the back of the cats out of the way watching in delight. She had already made so many friends that she was overwhelmed by their politeness. During one of the songs Bombalurina came over and sat with her for a while.

"You know what Rumpleteazer? Your eyes haven't strayed from the same tom all night."

She said teasingly. Rumpleteazer blushed.

"I cain't 'elp it." Said Rumpleteazer in despair "As soon as I try to look somewhere's else my eyes jus' go back to Mungo!"

They chatted for a little while longer. All of a sudden in the middle of one song Rumpleteazer smelt something she had thought that she had gotten rid of. The stench of the deadliest cat in the world to her. She hated him so much. She suddenly heard someone scream.

"MACAVITY!"

She stared at the orange cat before her.

"TEAZER! C'MON! MOVE IT!" yelled Mungojerrie.

"What the hell are you doin here." Said the evil cat.

"I belong here father. You can't do anything about it."

"Insolent lying little bitch, you are supposed to be dead!"

That was too much for poor Rumpleteazer all the anger that her father had caused her to build up inside suddenly exploded. Her claws came out.

"I HATE YOU! THIS IS FOR HATING ME AND HITTING ME CONSTANTLY!" she screamed slashing at his face with her sharp claws

"AND THIS IS FOR DESTROYING ANY HOPE I HAD OF HAPINESS!" she slashed him on the other side of his face.

"AND THIS IS FOR HATING ME ENOUGH TO WANT ME DEAD!!" She gave Macavity such a big clout over the head that he lost balance. He was so surprised at the power his daughter commanded that he fell. She jumped on top of the evil one slashing at him. All the other cats just stared at the new part of their group. Mungojerrie was shocked at the way she was almost could it possibly be, almost defeating Macavity. A tiny female kitten like her. Macavity shook her off and bellowed a rather obscene word. He picked her up by the scruff of her neck and threw her at a broken car. The sickening thud that all the cats heard provoked many of the males to rush out and attack Macavity. Mungojerrie was first clawing away at his face. All the other cats tried to have a piece of him but he had disappeared.

"Macavity's not there.." All the cats whispered.

Mungojerrie rushed over to Rumpleteazer's still body.

"Is she..?? Asked Bombalurina

"I dunno." He answered her mournfully.

"Out of the way everyone!" called the strangely cheerful voice of Jennyanydots the resident 'nurse'.

She bustled over to where Rumpleteazer's limp body lay and placed one of her paws over her head.

"She doesn't have internal head injuries or internal bleeding. She has a few scratches and bruises but I think she'll be alright. Mungojerrie you have to look after her." She said officially.

"Bring her to me when she wakes up." Said Munkustrap.

"Well, come on everyone. Let's continue our ball. Rumpleteazer will be fine and she wouldn't want you to mourning over her when you could be dancing."

They all nodded in agreement. Mungojerrie carried the injured Rumpleteazer all the way home to their crate. He tucked her into the feather bed and then curled her up. He started to lick her bloody fur. She groaned slightly but didn't wake up. He curled around her to keep her warm.

"M-Mungo?" came a meek voice. "How lon' 'ave I been ou' of it?" she asked

He came over to her and sat infront of her.

"Abou' a week." He answered her question.

"Mungojerrie?" came a cry from outside.

"Yea? 'OO is it?" he called

"It's me." Called the voice.

"Geez, tha' 'elps a hole lot!" he yelled out.

"It's me Tugger.. I'm so sick of running errands for Munkustrap. Look, is she awake yet?"

"Yeah, we'll be down there as soon as she's eaten' somefing."

Rumpleteazer sat up a little but her head was swimming so she lay down again. Mungojerrie walked over and dropped a rat at her feet.

"C'mon Teazer. You gotta eat sumfin'" He said nudging her to get up

She got up slower this time and found that she was alright. She devoured the rat hungrily.

"Tha's betta Teaze." He said. "C'mon, Munkustrap wants ter see ya."

"Wot've I dun?" she asked worridely.

"You ain't don'e nuffin rong."

He lead her back to the junkyard. All the cats looked up when they saw her enter. A few came over and smiled at her. Most of them were in awe of the little kitten who had taken on Macavity single handedly or rather single pawdly. Mungojerrie led her over to Munkustrap. He smiled at her presence.

"Rumpleteazer it's good to see you again."

"Mungo said you wan'ed ta see me?" she said.

"Yes, I do need to see you privately." He said talking mainly to Mungojerrie.

"Ok! Oim a leavin!" he said.

Rumpleteazer watched mournfully as he left. She looked back at Munkustrap apprehensively.

"Am I in trouble?" she asked meekly

"Good heavens No!" he exclaimed. "I just needed to ask you something rather personal."

"Ok, shoot."

"When you were fighting against Macavity you yelled out something that sounded like father. Is Macavity your father."

Rumpleteazer looked at her feets and muffled something.

"I'm sorry Rumpleteazer? I didn't hear that."

"I said, Yes. He's my damn father. I 'ate 'im though. When I was li'le, before he chucke' me out 'e would always bea' me because I was the li'lest in the family. Mother didn' even try ta sto' 'im, she egged 'im on even. So when they chucke' me out I went to the park and was on the verge of tryin' to kill myself when I saw Mungo. He saved me Munkustrap and he saved me again last week."

Munkustrap was silent. He knew that Macavity was evil but evil enough to beat his own child for being small? He had grown up with Macavity and had never seen such cruelness coming from him.

"Rumpleteazer, I have a confession to make. Macavity is. that is I grew up with him as a kitten. I was born to the same parent in the same little and so was Tugger."

"Does tha' mean tha' I'm like your niece or summat?"

"Yes, kind of."

"And Tugger to?"

"Yes."

Rumpleteazer's eyes lit up at the thought of being able to tease Tugger.

"Rumpleteazer. Do not purposely go looking for trouble. By purposely trying to annoy Tugger you will find yourself in trouble."

"Ok, can I go Munkustrap? Uncle?"

"Oh, good grief, go on. Away with you!" he said.

She walked away from him over to Mungojerrie. She saw Tugger and couldn't resist herself.

"Hey Tugger!" she called.

"Rumpleteazer.." Came Munkustrap's voice.

"Ok, Ok!" She called "I won't, heh heh heh yet.."

"Teazer? Wot the hell was dat all abou'?" asked a very suspicious Mungojerrie.

"You're neva goin' to guess wot I jus' found ou'!" she said excitedly.

She spilled her whole story out to him. They were both rolling about on the floor laughing and giggling.

"What is so funny?" asked a voice from behind them.

They turned around to see Rum Tum Tugger. Rumpleteazer pointed to him and shook her head another fit of giggles attacking the two cats.

"Don't worry about them Tugger. They are just somewhat immature."

That stopped their giggling.

"Wot d'you know 'bout it Bombalurina?" asked Mungojerrie

However the look on Tugger's face was to much. He was on the floor laughing and giggling with Rumpleteazer. For the next few weeks every time the notorious duo saw Tugger they were laughing on the floor. He even remarked one day

"I usually don't have that effect on the ladies." Which sent them both into even more fits of laughter.

One day however everything was different. Rumpleteazer went to the junkyard alone as Mungojerrie wasn't awake yet. She strolled in and saw Tugger approaching her he looked rather angry.

"Look Rumple whatevayourname is." He stormed. "I honestly don't know what you find so funny about me. Now either you tell me now or I." he raised his paw in a striking position.

"TUGGER!" came two angry male voices!

"Don't you dare!" came Munkustrap's voice.

"Yea, er don' you dare!" came Mungojerrie's somewhat less fierce voice.

Tugger lowered his paw.

"And why not Munkustrap? You've seen the way these two always laugh at me."

"Well c'mon maite. Wouldn' you laugh if you were in 'er position?" said Mungojerrie trying to hold back a laugh.

"What the hell do you mean?" said a very confused Tugger.

"How dense are you Tugger? Do you remember at the Jellicle ball last week how Rumpleteazer fought Macavity?" asked Munkustrap

"Yeah sure. Of course I do. You got a good backswing there kid."

"Ok, do you remember how she yelled out something like I hate you - father - " He asked.

Everything fell in place and Tugger groaned as he saw his 'new' niece grinning up at him.

"By the way Un'le Tugger. Moi naime's Rumple TEAZER." She said grinning then ran away with Mungojerrie.

The next few months Rumpleteazer found herself being accepted more and more into the Jellicle tribe. Even Tugger warmed to her more. He had accepted her as his niece but had warned her that if she ever told anyone she was well in a lot of trouble to put it lightly. She had settled in where she was living. It wasn't the most luxurious place but she was happy. She went on many heists with Mungojerrie. They had a pile of useless pretty things but she still loved the pearls she had seen the first night. She had asked Mungojerrie where he'd got them so that she could go and nick some for herself. He had simply said Victoria Grove. That was the richest part of the town and both of the two cats dearly wished that they could both live there. If only. The year wore away very fast and soon it was just one month until the next Jellicle ball. She wandered into the junkyard with Mungojerrie at her side.

"Oim goin' to talk to Bomba ok?" she asked

"Foine, seeya t'nite." He smiled at her and made his way over to the other toms.

"Rumple! Over here! I need to tell you something." It wasn't Bombalurina calling her it was Demeter.

"Hey Deme'er." She said "Ow are you?"

"I'm fine but I just overheard the toms saying that they knew who was going to be the one accepted properly in the tribe."

"Who?" she asked secretly hoping, no fearing at the same time.

"You of course!" Rumpleteazer screamed with joy and hugged the queen.

"No ma'er wot I've eva said before. You are a genius and I lov ya!" she said.

"You aren't a kitten anymore Rumple!" she called over her shoulder to the other queens who soon heard the exciting information to.

The toms stared at that little display in interest.

"Anyone know wha' that was abou'?" asked Mungojerrie.

"Nah," said one of them.

"I do." Said Munkustrap appearing from somewhere. "I made the decision on which cat will be initiated and since none of the kittens are old enough I chose Rumpleteazer. Unfortunately Demeter was eavesdropping." He sighed in exasperation.

Mungojerrie decided he needed to be alone and walked slowly to an empty tire. He sat down on the inside bit (ah you know which bit I mean right?) and lay his head on his paws.

"What thee 'ell am I goina do?" he asked himself

"Abou' wat?" asked the queen he didn't want to see at that moment.

"Teaza ow!!" he cried out.

As he had tried to sit up he had hit his head on the top of the tire.

"Ah you sil'y dope." She said affectionately. "C'mere.."

She pulled his head over to her lap where she looked at the bump.

"Yep, there's no dout abou' tha' Mungo. Ya head's gonna hav' to com' off."

"Wha?!"

"Neva mind. What was you sayin before?"

"Ah, it aint important."

"Guess wat Mungo?"

"What?"

"Munkustrap chos' me ta be de.."

"Yeah I know, you're gonna be the one who is ini'ia'ed into the trib' this toime."

"Yeah," she said smiling. "Will you be there?"

"Wouldn't miss it for the world Teazer."

"Ok, oim goin' 'ome. If tha's alright wif you."

"Yeah, I'll seeya la'er Teaze."

She looked a bit down that Mungojerrie didn't want to come with her. She walked back to their crate and sat down on the bed, which was now big enough for the two of them.

'I wonder who will pick me?' she thought to herself 'I hope it's Mungo' she stopped in her thoughts and looked startled to herself. She had fallen in love for the guy who had saved her life many times. She continued thinking along these lines until late. Mungojerrie came home with what looked like two mice and a banana.

"Here's dinner!" he said much more cheerfully than the way she had left him earlier.

"Grea'" she said.

They ate the dinner silently and then curled up together for warmth as it had started snowing late that day. The last for the season hopefully. Rumpleteazer continued in a daze about who she would 'end up with' on the night of the ball until the day before. It was said that who ever chose you at the ball would be your mate. She woke up early that day and went straight to the park to take a bath. She washed herself until her fur was glossy and she thought that she almost looked pretty. She walked to the junkyard and looked around. Many of the cats were there already. She went to the queens and they chatted for most of the day. The moon was soon rising in the sky and Munkustrap began the ball. They got through the naming of cats. Rumpleteazer began her solo dance. She was very graceful which surprised many of the toms especially Rum Tum Tugger. She gracefully danced 'en pointe' and then lay down. The invitation to the ball was about to be called.

'Please Mungo, please.' She begged the everlasting cat. 'Please!'

She felt the cat run his paw up her leg. She stood up smiling at her partner trying not to cry when she realised, it wasn't Mungojerrie. She continued however trying to look as though she was enjoying it. When they had finished their song she sat down and stared blankly into space until she was supposed to dance or sing a line.

'It's to late now.' she said. 'He didn't want me first time round. He won't want me now.'

She started to dance her special dance. Acceptance into the tribe was important so she continued smiling at everyone. Her heart almost skipped a beat when she saw who she would be dancing with. It was him. She smiled so hard, all the queens noticed it. She gave herself to him that night. She was finally part of the tribe. She belonged and she belonged with her partner in crime. After the ball had finished she walked tiredly to the crate. She collapsed into it and slept until late in the afternoon. When she woke up she found Mungojerrie curled up next to her. She smiled and nuzzled close to him. He moaned slightly and opened one eye.

"Teazer?" he said groggily.

"Uh huh?" she asked.

"You were grea' las' nigh'."

"I couldna done I' wifou' you Mungo." And with that she curled closer to him.

"I need ta aske you sumfin." He said quietly.

"Shoot." Came the reply from his chest.

He looked down at her and rolled his eyes. He pulled her head from his chest. She pouted at him but complied. 'She's so cute when she does that'.

"Teazer, well I've known you for jus' over a yea' now an' I fink you're really grea' an all. I fink you're the mos' beau'iful of all the queens and I would be 'onoured if you woul' ah. be ma mate?" he asked quietly.

She smiled at him.

"Mungo, I though' you weren' gonna ask me. I'll be your ma'e. I's the one fing I've wan'ed since I me' you!" she exclaimed hugging her tom.

He pulled her away from him and walked to the end of the crate. She looked at him in confusion. He pulled something from his pile of things.

"I was gonna giv' these to you wen you accepted me. So 'ere they are. For the mos' beau'iful queen ever."

He pulled the pearl bracelet over to Rumpleteazer and clasped them around her neck. She hugged him so hard after he had given them to her.

"I love you Mungojerrie."

"And I love you too Rumpleteazer." He said kissing her on the end of her nose causing her to sneeze slightly. He laughed at the cuteness of that and then held her close to him where they continued to nap for the afternoon. They never heard or saw Rumpleteazer's two 'uncles' visit the crate.

"Ah, look how cute they are together." Said Tugger.

"Yes, but this is no place for two young cats. They shouldn't be on the street."

"Yeah, but what can we do about it? All the other cats have homes in Victoria Grove so it will be hard to find them one in the good part of town."

"We'll think of something. C'mon, I'm going to talk to Misto."

He got a grunt in reply.

When the cats finally awoke refreshed from their very long nap they found that they were no longer in their crate.

"Mungo?" asked a panicky Rumpleteazer. "W'ere are we?"

"I dunno Teaze.." he said

She curled up close to him and then realised that she was sitting on the softest delicate substance she had ever felt. She got up and stretched her legs feeling the smoothness of the velvet between her paws.

"D'you like it?" came a voice.

They looked up at the small tuxedo cat it had come from.

"Misto? Did you do this? With your magic?" asked Rumpleteazer.

"Oh no! Not by magic Rumpleteazer. This is the one home in Victoria Grove that does not have a eugh dog or a cat. We thought that as you were the only Jellicles not to have a proper home in Victoria Grove that we should bring you here. I pulled my mistress to your crate where she found you. Thank heavens you were not awake. She then took you to this place. Her sisters home. So if you want to, this is where you can live."

Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer stared at each other in amazement. The Jellicles had found them a home.

"Thankyou so much!" they said to him over and over again.

They settled in well at Victoria Grove. It was the perfect place to practice their stealing abilities. Almost every night they found themselves running away from dogs or angry maids. They even made themselves known in the newspaper as "Victoria Grove's Most Notorious Duo." As they didn't print a picture of the two their mistress just shrugged it off thinking that it must have been other cats. Munkustrap however was not pleased with that behaviour. He lectured them many times about how they should never steal again but of course they did. It was in their nature after growing up on the streets together. The cats had all noticed how much Rumpleteazer had grown up. When they had first met her she had been timid, shy and very scared but now she was very bouncy, mischievous, cocky and sure of herself. So much so that she could easily get what she wanted from most of the cats. Except Munkustrap. He was sure of his footing around his niece and her mate. So when it was their turn to sing and Rumpleteazer's third Jellicle ball they were astounded almost by her voice and at some times her grace. They enjoyed the third Jellicle ball just as much as all the other ones she had been to, perhaps even more. Except for her father's intervenance. She saw her siblings again to. But they had turned completely evil taking poor Old Deuteronomy to their father. The ball passed quickly for Rumpleteazer as it always did and she was always sad to go home. But when there she collapsed into their basket on the velvet. Mungojerrie watched her carefully and then laid his head down on her chest. She smiled in her sleep at the warmth he gave her. The next morning began as many already had. Rumpleteazer woke up first smiling at Mungojerrie because he was hugging her much like the way a kitten would hug its mother. She nuzzled at him to wake him up. He slightly opened one eye groggily and yawned. He then buried his head in Rumpleteazer's warm oh so inviting fur.

"G'mornin love." Said Mungojerrie, which was almost inaudible due to the fact he was speaking into her fur.

She nipped at his ear playfully pulling him away from her.

"We promised to help watch the little ones today." She said

"Oh yeah.." He said trying to drag himself away from his Teazer.

"Do we hav.."

"Yes." She said before he had finished what he was saying.

Mungojerrie sat up still tired from the night before. Rumpleteazer pushed with her nose their food bowl over to where Mungojerrie was sitting.

"C'mon you lazy lump. Com' an eat sommink."

"Yeah, yeah oim comin, oim comin."

He walked over to where Rumpleteazer was eating and wrapped his arms around her waist kissing her on the cheek. She purred heavily at this. He smiled at her purring and nuzzled to her neck. She realised what he was trying to do.

"Mungo.. there's no wai you're gettin' out of this. You're helpin me babysit the li'le ones todai and tha's tha'!"

"Ok.." he said glumly.

She smiled at his anticts but watched as he ate his food.

"Les go.." she said "Race ya!!" she called to him

He was awake then and decided ah hell, why not. So he ran trying to catch up to the agile queen. They had just reached the junkyard, Mungojerrie just behind Rumpleteazer, when she collapsed. Not of fatigue but just collapsed.

"Mungo? What happened?" she said hoping he could give her an answer to why she just collapsed and why there was suddenly a searing pain in her abdomen.

"Quick, see if ya can ge' up." He said trying to nudge her upwards.

She got to her feet clutching her tummy. They arrived in the general hangout area.

"It's about time you two!" came the voice of a rather angry Tugger. "I've been waiting for you for ages!" he suddenly noticed that something was up. "Teazer? What's the matter?"

He ran over to try and help his niece.

"Gotta get 'er ta Jenny." Said Mungojerrie.

They lifted the small cat over to Jennyanydot's 'clinic' which was actually the boot of an old car.

"Well, Rumpleteazer. What seems to be the problem. Actually wait a moment. Boys, out you go! All things in my clinic remain inside the clinic unless the patient wants you to know so scoot!" She said shooing them away. "Let's try again shall we." She said whilst quietly approaching the keyhole that one of the two cats was looking through and listening through at the same time. "What's wrong?" and with that she poked one of her slender fingers through the keyhole and heard a yelp come from a rather disgruntled Rum Tum Tugger.

"Heh heh heh. That fixed him. Now Rumpleteazer dear, what seems to be the problem?"

"Well, me an' Mungo were a runnin really 'ard tryin' to ge' 'ere as quick as we could because we were rather late. I was foine until we reache' the edge of the jun'yard. I felt a burning pain in my tummy and fell over. Mungo ran up ta me ta hel' me. I fel' really fain' an' I couldn' stand very well but the pain seems ta hav' gone already'."

"Well, that sounds very strange doesn't it. But I don't think you should worry at all because I think it's something that you will be very pleased about. Could you just roll onto your back for me?" she asked

Rumpleteazer complied. She felt Jenny's warm hands feeling her stomach area. She felt a jerky pain there when she hit the lower part and she yelped.

"Aha! I knew it! I know what the matter is!"

Meanwhile outside Mungojerrie was pacing back and forth. So much so that he had almost made a little trench. All the cats were watching him and getting rather dizzy from his continual backwards and forwards movement. He was muttering to himself things like "What's gonna 'appen?" "I 'ope she's a'right" "I dunno wot I'd do if she wasna."

Finally Rum Tum Tugger got tired of this pacing and asked Mistofolees to stop him. Mungojerrie yelped in pain as the lightning hit his backside.

"Wot the 'ell was dat fo'?" he asked angrily.

"Look she'll be fine. Don't worry! Jenny's looking after her." Said Tugger rubbing his eye slightly. At that exact moment the 'door' to the surgery opened. Rumpleteazer was surprised to see almost the whole clan staring at her. She was even more surprised to see Munkustrap and Tugger approach her first. Well, they had actually pushed Mungojerrie away a little to get to their er 'dear little niece'.

"Well?" asked Munkustrap

"What is it are you alright?" said Tugger annoyingly finishing Munkustrap's sentence for him. All the queens noticed his sudden attachment to the already er 'attached' Rumpleteazer and grew instantly jealous of her.

"Oim foine!" she said happily. "Just foine. Mungo, I er go'a speak ta you. In privat' now." she said.

Most of the female's had already figured out what was the matter but most of the males were just a bit too dense to have realised. She pulled Mungojerrie to the top of a pile of cans and other such junk.

"Wot is it Teaza? Are you alri' what 'appened?" he said very worriedly

She put a paw to his lips and whispered something into his ear. He looked at her almost in shock and then fell down the pile of 'cans and other such junk' into full view of the other Jellicles.

"Are you alright?" asked Munkustrap

"Foine, oim foine.." He said "Oh boy am oi foine."

"Yu alri' Mungo?" came Rumpleteazer's voice from the top of the pile followed by a giggle. "Are you angry a' me? It aint my faul'!"

"I ain' angry a' all Teaze. Promise. Bu' ifin your ki'ens turn ou' like the ones we were a suppose' to kat si' today the' I dunno wot I'm gonna do!" he said dusting himself off.

A surprised whisper went through the crowd. They all stared at the notorious duo in shock and not because of what Mungojerrie had said about the kittens of the clan.

"Does that mean what I think it means Rumpleteazer?" said Demeter.

Rumpleteazer nodded a grin spreading across her face. All the queens stood in shock for a few moments but then realised how stupid they looked sitting there with their mouths open so they came over and congratulated her. Later that day Tugger was talking to Rumpleteazer quietly and he hugged her. This did not go unnoticed by his fan club. They all came over.

"Now Rumpleteazer? What would Mungojerrie think?" asked Bombalurina meanly.

"Oh he already knows." She said quickly and then covering her mouth.

The cats stared at her in shock for the second time that day. She slunk away slowly leaving the female's to beat up Tugger. The only person she could think of going to was Munkustrap. She found him sitting on the bonnet of the old car sunning himself.

"I go'a talk to ya." She said.

"Sure, what's the matter?"

"All the queens fink tha' oim havin' some kind of affair wif Tugger cause they saw 'I'm 'uggin' me."

Munkustrap laughed slightly at this. He came over to her and out his arm around her shoulder.

"Don't worry about it. They'll understand if Tugger tells them."

"Bu' wot's ta say 'e'll tell em?" she said miserably.

But another voice piped up from behind them.

"As if it wasn't enough to be cheating with Tugger on poor Mungojerrie now you have to go and take Munkustrap to!"

"Deme'er, I's not loike tha'!"

"Yeah sure. You should be ashamed of yourself!"

"Why shoul' she be ashame' of 'erself?" asked Mungojerrie who had been searching for Rumpleteazer.

"She's been having affairs behind your back." She said loud and clear

"Wot!?" he said painedly. (I'm sure that isn't a word.. CT)

"Jus' wait an' see who they fink I've been 'avin an affair wif." She said

"Look at her she doesn't even care!"

"Who Demeter? Who 'as she been a havin' an affair wif?"

"Well, first of all there was Tugger and now she's gone for Munkustrap! All in one day even!"

Mungojerrie looked at her very strangely and then burst out laughing. Demeter looked at him very peculiarly. This wasn't the usual effect of hearing news such as what she had just told him.

"I honestly don't see what's so funny!" she said.

Munkustrap was also laughing behind her and Rumpleteazer was trying to conceal a grin. But for her that's an impossible task as when she grins it spreads across her whole face. As Mungojerrie would say "It lights up the darkest of moments to see Teazer laughin' or smilin'."

"You are way from the mar' there Deme'er!" said Mungojerrie still laughing so much that he was crying.

"You see Macavity, my brother, had kittens. Rumpleteazer here was one of them!" said Munkustrap his laughing now evident.

Demeter looked at Rumpleteazer in shock.

"Then she is evil! Take her out of the tribe Munkustrap!" she said suddenly her ears flattened against her head and hissing loudly.

"Never! She is my niece. I would never do that. Besides I am his brother and you don't think I'm evil. Do you?" he said sternly.

"No, of course not." She said regaining her stature and composure "But I think you have something to explain to Bomby, she's practically beating up poor Tugger."

The three other cats nodded in agreement. They walked slowly out to where all the queens were.

"There she is!" called one of the kittens.

Bombalurina gave her one of the evilest glares imaginable and muttered under her breath something.

"DON'T YOU EVER SAY THAT AGAIN BOMBALURINA." Tugger yelled at her.

She stopped in shock. (third time in one day! Phew.. CT)

"There ain' no need to yell at 'er loike tha' Tugger." Said Rumpleteazer quietly. "She don' know any be'er."

"Yeah. I s'pose so." Said Tugger slowly.

"I don't need you sticking up for me Rumpleteazer!" She hissed at the little cat.

"Foine then. I won' bu' the least ya could do is 'ear me ou'!" She said pitifully.

The other cat's nodded in agreement. Rumpleteazer took a deep breath and started spilling her story out for the third time in this story starting with:

"This is gonna be 'ard for me. Ya see, moi father was really mean ta me. 'E would always bea' me on acount tha' I wasn' pre'y enough and I was the li'lest in the family. He finaly gave up and chucked me out. I dunno why he bothered. Another blow like the one 'e usually gave me would probably 'ave killed me anyway." The cats stared at her. Even Demeter who knew what was coming next. "Ya see, at moi first Jellicle ball when Macavity was attackin' ya I let all the anger tha' had buil' up inside of me ou'. I le' it out at the one who had hur' me so many times before. The one ca' I ha'e more than any other one."

"Does that mean that Macavity." said Etcetera trailing off.

"Yeah." Said Rumpleteazer trying to stop the tears coming to her eyes.

Mungojerrie was at her side hugging her in an instant.

"Don' worry. Oi'll alwaiz be 'ere for ya." He said quietly into her ear.

She smiled some at that.

"So ya see," said Mungojerrie finishing for her "She aint 'avin any affairs she was simply talkin' to 'er U-N-C-L-E-S" he said drawing the last words out.

The cats hung their heads in embarrassment.

"Don' worry, I won' 'old I' agains' yous. Ya didna know any be'er." Said Rumpleteazer regaining her somewhat battered composure. She smiled at them before walking away with Mungojerrie supporting her. When they arrived back at their home Rumpleteazer lay down. Mungojerrie lay next to her hugging her slightly. She burrowed into his strong chest and nuzzled at him until she was comfortable.

A few months later screams resounded around the junkyard. Mungojerrie was outside Jenny's clinic. He had decided not to pace this time seeing as he had already infuriated many of the cats after he accidentally hypnotised Jemima who now had a strange habit of clucking every time she saw Munkustrap. Tugger must have had something to do with it but he wouldn't tell just laughed heartily with all the other cats. Mungojerrie had taken to tearing up newspapers this time and he now had a huge pile of confetti in front of him much to the amusement of the kittens that played in it happily.

"Don't worry mate," said Munkustrap trying to ignore Jemima and the cats laughing at him "She'll be fine." He said encouragingly,

"Yeah, fine." Said Tugger trying to hold in a laugh.

As funny as Jemima was it was really no fun without Rumpleteazer with him. It was at that point that all the cats realised that the screaming had ceased. Everything was quiet inside the car. Mungojerrie seemed to be terrified of what awaited him.

"Mungojerrie?" called Jenny "You might want to come inside now." she said brightly.

All the cats watched as he made his way up to the car. He went in through the back door. As soon as he entered he smelled the familiar scent of Rumpleteazer, so warm and inviting. He walked quicker to the back of the car and saw her. She was drenched in perspiration. Her eyes were closed and she was breathing very quietly. Mungojerrie approached her not knowing what to say to the queen lying in front of him. Her eyes opened a little at the sound of Mungojerrie's shuffling footsteps. She smiled weakly at him and tried to sit up. Was she really that exhausted? Was it really all over? The pain and the weakness? Mungojerrie was by her side in an instant. He was always so faithful to her.

"How ya feelin' luv?" was the only thing Mungojerrie could think to say.

"Tired, believe it or not." She tried to giggle at her attempt at humour.

He nuzzled her neck and started to dry her off, licking her fur clean. When he was finished she felt a little stronger. Enough so that she could talk to him.

"How are you feelin' now?" he said

"Better, stiwl toired' bu' 'ell, neeone in moi position woul' feel tha saime. 'Cept me a course cause I go's you ta look af'er me!" she said happily.

"Tha's roight, an I promise tha' I will look af'er you proper loike." He said.

At that instant Jenny bustled in. She was carrying three bundles. Mungojerrie peered inside one of them and saw the tiniest face he had seen. The little cat yawned and scratched at her ears. She was covered in orange calico fur. His eyes travelled to the other two bundles all sleeping covered in beautiful orange fur.

"Oi Teaza.." he said in awe "They're bootiful."

"Oi know." she said happily.

"Shall I leave you with them?" asked Jenny.

The two proud parents nodded. She gave the little female to Rumpleteazer and the two males to Mungojerrie. He sat on the end of the 'bed' looking at his kittens.

"Oi Jerrie! Yer look loike you've jus' been 'it by a lorry!" said Rumpleteazer her humour evident.

"So you're feelin' a bi' be'er then Teaze?" he asked her smiling.

"Yeah, oi am." She said "Oi never felt better."

~Finis~

Yeah yeah. Very dumb but I just couldn't resist!